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278 Comments
- xxacefirexx, on 04/08/2009, -4/+274Author is a woman.
Women don't poop. Buried for inaccuracy. - solidcube, on 04/08/2009, -0/+178Yes! ***** at work!
I just did the numbers and folks, they are unbelievable. If you take a 7-minute ***** break once per day, five days a week, 52 weeks per year, you're looking at 30 HOURS PER YEAR. That means that you're getting paid for a week of *****. - sweeneyowns, on 04/07/2009, -0/+177i've always pooped at work... i'd rather poop on the man's time and not my own free time.
- bdfariello, on 04/08/2009, -1/+139Pooping at work means fewer flushes at home means a lower water bill. Pinching loaves and pennies at the same time. That's how I roll.
- spoonmanp, on 04/08/2009, -1/+113Being at work 13 hours a day requires at least 1 poop. Having an iPhone with games makes it worth looking forward to.
- abrasion, on 04/08/2009, -1/+101Use the disabled toilet at work, it's always clean and almost no one uses it.
Don't tell anyone, ok or everyone will be in there. - unknownsoldierX, on 04/08/2009, -0/+96Unless you pay extra.
- lazybuoy, on 04/08/2009, -3/+93Correction: Hot women don't poop.
- pangit1, on 04/07/2009, -2/+86I applaud the concept, but have you SEEN the toilets at work?!?
not to mention those who routinely use them... - sandemanport, on 04/07/2009, -4/+84does a bear ***** in the woods?
- sodoh, on 04/08/2009, -1/+79Things must be really bad if people are thinking this is what counts as a perk these days.
- jamesdew, on 04/08/2009, -0/+63Not any more he ***** at work now.
- ivosilva, on 04/08/2009, -0/+62You fix your hair after pooping?
That's some violent *****. - StuartGibson, on 06/14/2009, -2/+54I'm not convinced my chances of getting pregnant will ever multiply.
You should maybe check what your sources on Yahoo Answers have been telling you. - caLt, on 04/08/2009, -0/+51i also wonder how much my employer pays me to digg...
- kingtobo, on 04/08/2009, -0/+50Remind me never to borrow your phone.
- daz80, on 04/08/2009, -0/+50you work 13hrs a day??!!
- insky60, on 04/08/2009, -0/+47Those that have ever worked on a construction job know that you really don't want to poop in the portajohns unless it's absolutely necessary. Those that work in the service industries that require you to go to a customer's house know how embarrassing having to take a poop at some strangers house is, while trying to do your best not to make it stink.
Unfortunately my job requires me to go to both.
I don't like pooping at work. - bluechild, on 04/08/2009, -2/+47I can prove this is wrong with just 2 girls and 1 cup.
- Jascol, on 04/08/2009, -0/+44Exactly, taking a big crap and getting paid for it is one of the best feelings in the world!!
- pinkspexx, on 04/08/2009, -5/+47we ladies pewp, i promise! now if you'll excuse me, I have to go masturbate and play video games XD
- techdever, on 04/08/2009, -0/+40nice to meet you, Ron
- bpwrinn, on 04/08/2009, -0/+40Always nice to see "poop" in a headline.
- SniperZero, on 04/08/2009, -0/+39Also you don't have to pay for the water used to flush the toilet when you poop.... now think of that over a year and see the savings.
- SenoraObscura, on 04/08/2009, -1/+40I did this today, it "pushed" me into overtime. Thanks poop, for getting me pay and a half!
- eeron, on 04/08/2009, -1/+39Even better, if you factor in the walk to the toilet, preparation time, getting comfortable, relaxing, send some IMs/tweets on your Blackberry, clean-up, wash hands (being very careful to be as hygienic as possible), dry hands (looking in the mirror, making sure you are presentable for returning to work), fix hair and then walk back to work via the water fountain, you could make this more of an event. Could easily take up 10 minutes, even 15! If you do 15 minutes per day, 5 days per week, 52 weeks per year, you're looking at over 60 hours! You're getting paid for 2 working weeks of relaxation! Why not diversify your activities rather than just viewing it as a poo break?
- therealrico, on 04/08/2009, -0/+32Oh my god yes, the disabled toilet is the best!! One it is much cleaner, and smells better too, but also you get a little privacy, and you don't have to hear your neighbor ***** his brains out!!!
Before I got laid off I used love taking craps, and my body for whatever reason only had me crap during the day. So I would print up a bunch of articles on soccer, or the new sports guy column, and spend a solid twenty minutes on the can.
I had a coworker who told me he would take his shirt off while he did it, I tried it, but wasn't anything special.
Also since the work TP is usually cheap and hurts the ass, I bring to work the wet wipes, I call them the Papelbon of the bathroom. - guinpen, on 04/08/2009, -0/+30I figured everybody defaulted to the disabled toilet like me, so much more room
- justok, on 04/08/2009, -2/+31fold the paper in half. TaDA! 2 ply!
- escottberg, on 04/08/2009, -1/+29reminds me of the episode of "How I Met Your Mother" where they call pooping at work "reading a magazine"...
- smpaisnutrients, on 04/08/2009, -0/+27is this something people are just now catching on to? I've done this since my first job. Sometimes I just SAY I have to go when really I just want to go take a break without getting hassled.
I've adjusted my schedule so that I always have to ***** at the same time which happens to be when I am at work. Less water used, less toilet paper to buy. Someone calculate how many rolls of TP you save a year by pooping at work.
Also I steal toilet paper from work. Nothing like having those giant rolls in your own bathroom to spruce up the joint. - kelmaster1, on 04/08/2009, -1/+27I hate how most HR staffs consists of the company's most incompetent employees. I'm sure it's the same as most other people, but I do get tired of all this productivity, happiness, yada yada bs in the workplace. Just let me do my work and take my daily ***** god damn it!
- weaksnyc, on 08/14/2009, -3/+29how is babby formed?
- eeron, on 04/08/2009, -1/+26I think it makes perfect sense. You can't be told off for slacking, as it's your right to take a leisurely poo in work hours. Besides, my work used to have that really nice liquid soap that smelled like kids cough medicine. I'm not sure why that was important, but it made the experience that little bit more enjoyable :)
- insky60, on 04/08/2009, -0/+24I hope you're using your BlackBerry before you wipe, because nobody wants DingleBerries on their BlackBerry.
- gordonp, on 04/08/2009, -0/+21I think we understand why you were laid off.
- lolitsraph, on 04/08/2009, -0/+19*Having an iPhone with games, the web, porn, movies, music, and im makes it worth looking forward to.
- Kallius, on 04/08/2009, -1/+20I go when I have to go and don't feel guilty at all. I'm a non-smoker, and do not get an extra half-hour break per day which my smoking colleagues are "entitled" to.
- WELLDOITLIVE, on 04/08/2009, -1/+19Dying or getting raped might be worse
- goat2, on 04/08/2009, -0/+18youre a god
- inactive, on 04/08/2009, -0/+17Factor in the time you spend surfing the net and chatting at the water cooler, it's amazing that anybody ever gets anything done.
- Fartbandit, on 04/08/2009, -0/+17From the 2 replies above it would seem that the /s tag is still needed occassionally. :/
- escottberg, on 04/08/2009, -3/+19also, I'm glad it says "poop" instead of "poo"...the latter is just gross to me. poop is so much more pleasant sounding.
- inactive, on 04/08/2009, -3/+18What school teaches kids that you can get pregnant from a toilet seat?
- liamfriel, on 04/08/2009, -1/+16Yeah you would save money but the chances of you getting infection/pregnant multiply dramatically!
- s73v3r, on 04/08/2009, -0/+15I'm sorry sir, I can't accept this phone. Its been in a bathroom.
- inajeep, on 04/08/2009, -1/+16I work 10 miles from the ocean. Since I started working there I believe I am personally responsible for the elevated fecal matter found in the water and subsequently closed beaches.
Some of my Rules:
Poo on work time, never on lunch time
If you have the IR automatic flushing toilets, cover with TP.
Never poo in the handicap stall. There are a few handicapped people where I work and I don't want to be that guy.
Have a backup plan, have the next 2 bathrooms mapped out in case of closure or availability
Make sure phone is charged and silent for game playing
Always check for TP before starting
Flush before sitting, inspect seat for hairs and liquid.
No courtesy flushes, don't want splash damage.
Never ever follow someone if you see them coming out of the stall, resort to backup plan. - crazycraka, on 04/08/2009, -0/+15I'd hate to decipher what the line "Ive only slipped once" means. Does that mean that you held it in for so long that you ***** yourself?
- insky60, on 04/08/2009, -0/+14So that's why I always find footprints on the toilets in public bathrooms.
- bdfariello, on 04/08/2009, -0/+14If no one's around to smell it, does it still have an odor?
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