What is Digg?188 Comments
- Onibus, on 10/19/2007, -4/+204In case it goes under.
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Craigslist Meets WallStreet…Classic
What a classic answer…..
THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG’S LIST
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful”
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know. - Smight, on 10/10/2007, -1/+191"Where do you single rich men hang out?"
They don't; that's how they got rich. - paintballboi07, on 10/10/2007, -6/+134Girls don't like boys. Girls like cars and money.
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -0/+123"Best joke about prostitution ever done was by Bernard Shaw. He was at a party once and he told this woman that everyone would agree to do anything for money, if the price was high enough. `Surely not, she said.' `Oh yes,' he said. `Well, I wouldn't,' she said. `Oh yes you would,' he said. `For instance,' he said, `would you sleep with me for... for a million pounds?' `Well,' she said, `maybe for a million I would, yes.' `Would you do it for ten shillings?' said Bernard Shaw. `Certainly not!' said the woman `What do you take me for? A prostitute?' `We've established that already,' said Bernard Shaw. `We're just trying to fix your price now!' "
- freecss, on 10/10/2007, -1/+99"I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know"
ROFL - PurpZeY, on 10/11/2007, -0/+91I heard a lot of single rich guys hang out on craig's list secretly in their offices while they are in between mega-multi-million dollar transactions.
- Hoogie7Dowser, on 10/10/2007, -11/+99At least she could be honest about her womenhood. 99 % of women are hypocritical versions of this lady.
- Rhythmicidea, on 10/10/2007, -4/+87Im pretty sure if you make a million a year your NOT middle class. Anywhere. This girl is delusional.
- passedoutghost, on 10/10/2007, -3/+70'I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?'
How about actually falling in love? - openthink, on 10/10/2007, -0/+60great, hilarious. a new kind of relationship arrangement...a short-term lease.
- sleepwalkers, on 10/10/2007, -2/+55Thanks for explaining the humor to everyone. I'll make sure I double-check with you every time someone tells me a joke.
- Tivor, on 10/10/2007, -2/+43Whoever that guy is, he's awesome in my books. Kudos to you, sir!!
- tonicboy, on 10/10/2007, -0/+37the problem with a lease is that if you put too many miles on it, you end up paying a lot extra for it at the end
- vuke69, on 10/10/2007, -0/+37She's probably not half as hot, or as smart, as she thinks she is.
And at 25, is a bit too old to be playing the game she is trying to get into. - Soniti, on 10/11/2007, -2/+35You know.. Despite how much I absolutely abhor Good Charlotte, they did get it right this time.
- Smight, on 10/11/2007, -1/+34Love of money doesn't count?
- nymphetamine, on 10/10/2007, -5/+37So what you're saying is that if I dress up as a car made out of money, girls will like me?
- oneeyedmonkz, on 10/10/2007, -1/+33I say ! *sips cognac and laughs*
- DocHoliday22, on 10/10/2007, -3/+32Reminds me of a genuine advert we got in the paper here in the UK where a girl was looking to date a Millionaire. A radio station called her up pretending to be that millionaire and started asking her questions. They were really hammering her with difficult questions until she told them the truth that she had been poor all her life living in a small house with her family and wearing second hand clothing and also not being able to go to school. She just wanted a better life for herself. Her story checked out and she ended up meeting a radio station listener who was a millionaire. They soon got married.
Just goes to show that it does work providing you have a good reason. - TKDEE, on 10/10/2007, -0/+29Haha narfizzle got completely owned. Sleepwalker used the sense of humor that got him where he is today to completely trash narfizzle's comment, it's great. Way to win a thread, man.
Sorry I really didn't want to, but I just couldn't help it. - Vazelos, on 10/10/2007, -1/+30When you want to have milk, do you buy a cow?
- mahdaeng, on 10/10/2007, -2/+29Dugg up for using the word "transmogrify".
- sleepwalkers, on 10/11/2007, -4/+31No, because you're still just a boy. If you could transmogrify into a moneycar, chicks would be *all* over you.
- unknownsoldierX, on 10/15/2007, -7/+34You are naive if you think you can always spot them
- wattznext, on 10/10/2007, -2/+27No matter the description, every single "girl" i've met on craigslist has been a front for an ad for some adultfriendfinder.com type site.
- Haidoken, on 10/10/2007, -2/+27a brutal assessment indeed. Great read.
- herro, on 10/11/2007, -2/+27you weren't already doing that? i only digg articles after narfizzle has explained them for me.
- terminal157, on 10/10/2007, -0/+24The point is that from her shallow perspective in which looks and youth are the only thing that matters, 35 is too old. That's his whole point, that looking at the world from her perspective is ultimately bad for her as well as stupid.
- mahdaeng, on 10/10/2007, -1/+23FTA: [[I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?]]
The story? The story is this: women should be able to offer a lot more than looks. Suppose that on a scale from 1 to 10, Woman A is a 10 in intellect, style, class, culture, cooking, ethics, morals, and emotional stability, but a 6 or 7 in looks. Woman B is an unquestionable 10 in looks, but doesn't know how to dress properly, expects to take more than give, is egotistical and shallow, knows nothing about history, art, or real music, has a head filled with pop trivia (if even that), has never set foot in a kitchen before, thinks that houses clean themselves, smokes, drinks, sleeps around, plays emotional games, is completely unreasonable, and expects a man to fall at her feet and worship her for the golden virtue of her good looks. I'll give you 30 seconds to take a guess at which woman I would pick. That's the story. - mochzr, on 10/10/2007, -10/+32man you guys lead sad, sad lives if these are the only type of women you meet...
- KingBunny, on 10/10/2007, -9/+30Being a dude, I take offense on her behalf at the presumption that 35 = "too old". That happens to be the female prime, don't 'cha know.
Granted, she's a shallow, stuck-up dimwit, but still. - fuzzynyanko, on 10/10/2007, -0/+21I'm reminded of the list of rich guys' wives. Seems like most of them seem to end up with women like Melinda Gates. Attractive, but not super model attractive, but at the same time amazing in some way.
- cphelps, on 10/10/2007, -1/+21I honestly think he should have been more brutal.
- OckToePoos, on 10/10/2007, -0/+20Here is another reply after that one:
**********
MY ADVICE:
Dear Pers-431649184:
Your also came across your posting with great interest. I am a 28 year old Wall Street trader who qualifies as an eligible suitor under your $500k/yr rule. In fact, I make over a million and can usher a woman into a comfortable, true middle class lifestyle (not like those 500k lower-middle class chumps who have to make do with the junior two-bedroom).
I am sympathetic to your goal in finding a rich man to marry. The milk needs to be sold by the expiration date. But since this is premium milk, why would you settle for less than premium prices? I would like to address some of the questions that were previously missed by the other gentleman and provide constructive advice on where to find your match.
I also do believe in the efficient market theory, and am surprised that $500k hasn't found you yet. There are plenty of rich lawyers, investment bankers and hedgies to go around in this city. What gives? I think the problem might be that you have not been sufficiently focused in your search efforts.
The culprit, I believe, may be that you are also looking for qualities aside from money - such as looks, personality, and a sense of humor. However, men who have those qualities learn at an early age that they do not need money to attract quality women. As the saying goes, if you can get the milk for free, why pay up for the cow?
What you need to look for is someone who is long money, and short the other aspects. They are not easy to spot, since you are biologically wired to overlook and ignore them. However, the next time that you are at a expensive black tie event, and you are introduced to the short, bald, overweight man who fidgets nervously whilst making conversation with you, pay special attention to him.
Here's an inspirational story for you. An acquaintance of mine who was also an classy and articulate woman as yourself was able to land that guy - who also happens to be one of the top ten guys at Google. This is the type of stuff that gold-digging moms read to their gold-digging daughters at bedtime. Perhaps you need to make a location change to Silicon Valley - miracles like these happen almost everyday in a land where you can randomly throw a rock and hit a rich nerd squarely in his Kim-jong Il glasses.
And as far as his deficiencies go, they turned out to be not so bad. With hundreds of millions in the bank, she's been able to clean him up and give him a little sophistication. Think of it as a fixer-upper project with a massive budget (and yourself as a visionary real estate developer!). Although, I must warn you, it is a fine line you are flirting with - you must not overdo it lest he begins to attract younger women who are hotter than yourself. The trick is, you need build him up enough to be presentable, while simultaneously manipulate him into believing you are the best that he will ever do! That and having kids will be your insurance against your depreciation (or as I prefer to use the term, milk going sour).
I wish the best of luck on your sales project. As for me, I am also available for a short-term lease. However, for marriage I wouldn't consider a woman unless she can bring beauty, brains and self-motivation to the table. I do not want to dilute my gene pool and end up raising a bunch of Paris Hiltons.
http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/rnr/439983703.ht ... - NnyCW, on 10/10/2007, -0/+17Of course. When they're no longer pretty.
- 76junkie, on 10/10/2007, -0/+17Does she have a picture? =)
- Velnich, on 10/10/2007, -1/+17Great reply. I wonder if she'll ever really understand though. Can someone that shallow and sure of themselves make the come around and find some depth?
- andshewas, on 10/10/2007, -3/+17It is hilarious to me that she does not consider herself superficial.
FTA:
"Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth."
She's being upfront about the fact that she is, in fact superficial. No matter how you twist it, honey, you're still trash. - Glugory, on 10/15/2007, -5/+19Agreed. If nothing else you gotta respect her for that.
- NSResponder, on 10/10/2007, -1/+14Gold diggers have always existed. This tart isn't anything new, she just happened to use a different means to troll for a man than she would have in a previous generation.
-jcr - apoc06, on 10/10/2007, -0/+13for many women, that game never gets old. you can find women well into their 40s that never found "that guy" still playing this game.
- PoeticExplosion, on 10/10/2007, -3/+15What, you have some vendetta against Calvin and Hobbes?
- nova912, on 10/10/2007, -2/+14Buy Low D=
- snowKFH, on 10/10/2007, -0/+12GBS is the king of all relationship theory. Dugg up for a great quote
- SimianSamurai, on 10/10/2007, -1/+13Right... but even $250,000 a year is pretty fn good
- Gir53457, on 10/10/2007, -2/+13New York Right? Simple. Check out Times Square and find the youngest guy dancing/cursing in front of the NASDAQ headquarters.
- somespecial, on 10/10/2007, -1/+12I don't know how to find a catched page to her posts, but it looks like its real; "FOR MEN MAKING 500000 OR OVER - A QUESTION FROM A REAL WOMAN" http://www.google.com/search?q=site:craigslist.org ...
- natedouglas, on 10/10/2007, -4/+15Fantastic commentary from TKDEE, who rightly points out Sleepwalker's adept use of satire to establish a deliciously subversive take on modern observational dialectic, while undermining his own authority with an ironic "appeal to Mephistopheles" that leaves this reviewer figuratively rolling in the metaphorical aisles.
- narfizzle, on 10/10/2007, -19/+30Haha. This woman got completely owned. He uses the logical thinking that got him to where he is today to completely trash this girls way of thinking it's great. Way to stick it to those gold diggers, man.
- NSResponder, on 10/10/2007, -0/+11Anna Nicole Smith was a result of a rich old man who *really* hated his kids.
-jcr -
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