What is Digg?Sponsored by Travelzoo
Take Advantage of Ridiculously Low Holiday Airfares view!
travelzoo.com - Flights $52 and up for Thanksgiving, Christmas & New Year. But move on it now.
194 Comments
- melondrama, on 11/14/2007, -1/+157um, the story's obviously a fake.
- robbh66, on 11/14/2007, -1/+129People on Digg are such suckers for made up news.
- smurfz, on 11/14/2007, -29/+147That's terrible, the kids only 11 years old and working 70 hours a week? Isn't that somehow illegal?
- green1, on 11/14/2007, -4/+122How does boy wonder with an MBA @ 11 years old only start out making 58k?
My 12 year old only has a bachelors and started at 90k on wallstreet... this kid is a loser. - raitchison, on 11/14/2007, -0/+77I would be illegal if it were true, surprised this isn't on the Onion.
- AriaStar, on 11/13/2007, -7/+73FAKE, People, FAKE.
"“I never really thought about what I wanted to do after my schooling,” said a visibly tired Park as he unclips his necktie and downs chocolate milk at McSorley’s Pub in Manhattan where he and some of his colleagues meet for the occasional drink after work."
Even a genius wouldn't be allowed into a pub at 10. I can't believe you're falling for this. It'd be illegal for him to work as well. Genius or not, he's still subject to the child labor laws. - weirdralph, on 11/14/2007, -14/+58Stupid kid. The real geniuses go to med school.
- Disease, on 11/14/2007, -0/+38If Digg users truly think this is real then I lost all hope for Digg.
- mrfreeziexp, on 11/14/2007, -1/+37You're a fast one.
- saltshaker2323, on 11/13/2007, -2/+33Mozart wrote his first concerto at age five. Tiger Woods learned to play golf at three. And now Madison, New Jersey’s own child prodigy Jason Park is stuck in a crappy job at age 11.
Under the home-school guidance of his mother, Park finished high school at the age of six. He then breezed through college by the time he was eight and capped off his accelerated education by receiving his MBA from Villanova University at the tender age of 10. Now the precocious young man is a first-year consultant with a financial consulting firm making 58K a year, working 70-hour weeks and hating every minute of it.
“I never really thought about what I wanted to do after my schooling,” said a visibly tired Park as he unclips his necktie and downs chocolate milk at McSorley’s Pub in Manhattan where he and some of his colleagues meet for the occasional drink after work.
“I was always good at math, so my parents told me to study finance like John Kenneth Galbraith. Great! So here I am, a working stiff paying busting my ass in low-level financial advisory hell, counseling old biddies about whether to buy 10 shares of this mutual fund or that, one all in a futile attempt to make partner by 15.”
With his education complete and a ton of student loans hanging over his head, Park had no choice but to enter the workforce. “I kind of wanted to kick around for a while, you know, have some ‘me’ time… maybe backpack through Euro Disney for a few weeks.”
That didn’t pan out. Park was recruited right out of school. “I thought he was a midget when we first met, which actually helped him,” said company recruiter Sheldon Goldfarb. “We provide equal opportunity for the differently sized here. I realized I was wrong about Park after he interrupted my interview questions repeatedly to show me his Yu-Gi-Oh! trading cards.”
Park said his parents were “banking on People Magazine or one of those stupid 20/20 shows to pick up my story when I was in high school so I could get some scholarship offers. They wrote letters and sent in videos of me playing my mini violin and building robots, but no one was biting. It seems there’s a bunch of genius kids like me whipping through cut-rate colleges.”
The young consultant perked up for moment as he fondly recalled his college days. “I really miss Nova. We just kicked it at the frat house all day. We played video games 24/7 and jammed to Dave Matthews. It was totally chill! I could actually palm the basketball in the frat house Pop-a-Shot games.”
But his voice quickly returned to its joyless monotone as he thought to the future, “Now, I got sixty years of crunching numbers and drinking bad coffee at client sites to look forward to. Whoopde-frickin-do. Look at these bags under my eyes… Christ almighty.”
Park lives at home with his parents in Madison for the time being. “I’m saving up to build a super cool tree fort.”
When Park does have time to hang out with friends in his neighborhood, he is usually teased about being different (he only wears sensible golf clothes and loafers) and his recent weight gain. “Yeah, guess I got a bit of a gut now, but hey, I work so much I just don’t have time to hit the swings like I used to.” - Torpov, on 11/14/2007, -0/+24Just look at how well Doogie Howser turned out.
- jmoo1, on 11/14/2007, -1/+22That's a very witty piece, and cleverly written too.
"...said Park as he unclips his necktie and downs chocolate milk at McSorley’s Pub in Manhattan where he and some of his colleagues meet for the occasional drink after work." GOLD!! - nepawoods, on 11/14/2007, -0/+20Really. I thought for sure I was reading The Onion when I read this:
“Now, I got sixty years of crunching numbers and drinking bad coffee at client sites to look forward to. Whoopde-frickin-do. Look at these bags under my eyes… Christ almighty.” - swiftekho, on 11/14/2007, -2/+16I stopped reading after I saw the student loans part... Any kid at age 10 that could complete his MBA would have gotten a free ride, easily...
- bluechips23, on 11/13/2007, -0/+14Mirror or it didn't happen.
- inertic, on 11/13/2007, -2/+13Someone obviously doesn't know about medicine and thinks all dr.'s drive ferraris. Most people going to med school have mountains of debt and almost no free time to do anything else. Once they graduate, it is residency for 3-7 years where you are somebody's bitch working over 80 hrs a week while the janitor makes more $/hr than you. Then you can finally start practicing. You will now have to pay off all your loans along with tens of thousands (if not more) in malpractice insurance. Also add the fact that medicine will now be your life, extremely stressful, and dr.'s have one of the highest divorce rates. This is why they tell people not to go into medicine unless you are genuinely interested.
The real geniuses go get their MBA's at a top business school. - Speaking, on 11/13/2007, -1/+12Because he is from New Jersey. That is all.
- kanimara, on 11/13/2007, -1/+11Urg.. I thought Digg has at least a slightly intelligent userbase? They may be intelligent, but that doesn't seem to stop them from being super freaking guillible. "There's no way this is true! But if it is, XXXX"...... just terrible. Who wants to buy a bridge?
I mean the kid is drinking chocolate milk in a bar and saving up to buy a treehouse. COME ON. - MacEnvy, on 11/13/2007, -0/+8I was thinking more along the lines of Harold and Kumar. Best celebrity cameo ever.
- Jeveran, on 11/14/2007, -0/+7Look up "satire" in the dictionary. This story is probably linked as an example.
- inactive, on 11/13/2007, -0/+6"Would you like to know more?"
- vat0r, on 11/13/2007, -0/+6Dead or dying server!
- stevenbn, on 11/14/2007, -0/+6Reads like it was written by the Onion. Obviously fake, but it's meant to be so, and it's funny.
- knetworx, on 11/13/2007, -0/+6Your powers of deduction are astounding!
- tfedullo, on 11/13/2007, -1/+7mirror
http://www.usedwigs.com.nyud.net:8090/boy-genius-f ...
http://www.usedwigs.com.nyud.net:8080/boy-genius-f ... - Hoxie, on 11/13/2007, -1/+7You're believing news from a site called "used wigs".
I have lost faith in you, digg. - dillibob, on 11/13/2007, -1/+6im sure this is fake, but lol "old biddies"
- gforce42, on 11/14/2007, -1/+6Am I the only one who recognizes this as obvious satire?
- yobboninja, on 11/13/2007, -0/+5gee, that's useful.
- Mast3rDigg3r, on 11/13/2007, -1/+6I see nothing about onions
- iamsamsamiam, on 11/13/2007, -2/+7If those quotes were 'actually' from the kid he's a true genius..
He's 11 and he's as cynical as I am. - mille716, on 11/13/2007, -0/+4The aforementioned terrible site.
http://www.physics.iisc.ernet.in/~tathagat/ - ZenMojo, on 11/13/2007, -1/+5I remember when my mom asked me if I wanted to graduate high school a few years early. My response: "I'd be a virgin forever."
- Laughto, on 11/13/2007, -2/+6To quote Ricky Gervais, and my message to the internet, "stop making ***** up all your life"
- Charlotte_Web, on 11/13/2007, -0/+4More fake news, dugg to the home page....
- lostradamus, on 11/13/2007, -0/+4Wow Digg users have gotten really dumb lately.
- dopplerdog, on 11/13/2007, -0/+4(* giant bug rips a cow into pieces *)
- rayefrenzy, on 11/13/2007, -0/+4Not only is it fake, but the site is also down. Let this die.
- IanthePez, on 11/13/2007, -1/+5For a genius, he sure has a horrible website! Guess he was bored in that class as well.
- thecorch, on 11/13/2007, -0/+4You read THAT far before you figured out it was a joke?
- gobearsgo, on 11/14/2007, -0/+4haha sad, sad? Thats the funniest thing I have ever heard, the child races through a 25 year process in only 10 years, then comes to realize that hes now ***** himself and must work the rest of his life. I don't understand the rush that society has to complete an education, I would rather enjoy my time on earth considering I wont be here very long, wouldn't you?
- shagg187, on 11/13/2007, -2/+6Buried. Please don't degrade the quality of Digg, guys. Die, fake news, die. This story is as old and fake as the "Canadian Lighthouse" story.
- Erowid, on 11/13/2007, -1/+5I doubt it's real 'cuz of legal issues, but... People skip grades, or, there are some who are home schooled and write high school equivalency exams at an early age, then head off to university quite young... Youngest I've heard of (off the top of my head) starting university was like 12 years old. It's rare, but it happens.
- hamalicious, on 11/13/2007, -2/+6More proof that DIGG is being ruined by the combination of friends and shouts....
- dodomingo, on 11/13/2007, -1/+5"So here I am, a working stiff paying busting my ass in low-level financial advisory hell, counseling old biddies about whether to buy 10 shares of this mutual fund or that, one all in a futile attempt to make partner by 15.”
Haha, love it. - JeffD, on 11/13/2007, -0/+3Depends, how good is he at guitar hero?
- KibibyteBrain, on 11/13/2007, -0/+3Yeah, as much as this is fake, I could believe a 10 year old easily taking on college if he majored in most of the crappy majors out there these days. "Going to College" doesn't matter these days and should never had, its all about what you study and do when you are there.
- rebrad, on 11/13/2007, -0/+3Practicing Proctologist at night. Bad actor by day.
- knetworx, on 11/13/2007, -0/+3Now, if they just got this kid to work on their servers, we'd all be set.
P.S. - I think the best thing about this article is that almost every single sentence contains a blatant satirical remark, and yet for some reason, most of the people here didn't get it. That's one point for the author, zero points for humanity. - bs0l, on 11/13/2007, -0/+3I always thought New Jersey had child labor laws.
And I've been living here for all these years.... -
Show 51 - 100 of 194 discussions
© Digg Inc. 2009
— Content created and posted by Digg users is