What is Digg?42 Comments
- crawfishsoul, on 10/12/2007, -4/+18In case it gets flagged and pulled down
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If you think that you have done some stupid things, if you feel that your life has been ripe with folly, you don't know just how crazy MY life has been.
Alright. About 3 years ago, I was working for a grocery store. My job was to "face" the shelves for 5 hours, 4-5 days a week. Now being as I was only 16 at the time it was a very experimental period for me. I was just discovering the joys of internet pornography and I had noticed one thing... all the men had no pubic hair. None. It's like they were born without it. This discovery is one I can attribute to my useless body hair philosophy and thank your religiously vague omnipotent uber-being that I'm no Robin Williams and am virtually hairless. But I noticed over the past few years that my testicles and wang were beginning to get a little hairy; not something I was entirely fond of based on the porn that I had been watching because in my mind I had associated a hairless penis with the ability to charm and eventually shag a woman, or man, or dog or what-have-you.
This is where my 16 year old life turned very painful for a period of two days. After working at this store for nine months, I had the layout and surveillance camera layout memorized to a "T". I knew what they could and couldn't see. I knew what I could and could not get away with. I was also forced to tuck in my shirt, very useful in the liberating of goods from a company that was paying me 6.07 an hour but had managed to turn a $50,000,000 profit in the city I lived in alone (an interesting feat in a city of at the time 55,000). So one night, I commandeered a bottle of "Nair for Men," this wonder of all hair removal products that you could apply and then just wipe the hair away. I slipped it inside my shirt, made a "cart run" and placed it inside my parents vehicle, under the seat and out of sight. (The reason I had this vehicle was because my parents were out of town.)
When I got home from work, I read the instructions and the warnings, promptly ignoring the one that said "do not apply on nipples, genitals or underarms" being the invincible 16 year old that I was. And so I used the Nair for Men on and around my genitalia. I waited the 4 minutes the packaging said to wait, took a damp cloth and began to wipe a way the hair. Not fast enough apparently because my scrotum began to sting and then burn like I had dipped it into a vat or bleach, hydrochloric acid, and boiling oil. I panicked, jumped in the shower and began to rinse and scrub and do whatever I could to sooth the searing pain I just discovered. I tried soap. I later read on the package to NOT mix Nair for Men with SOAP. I don't know what chemical reaction it creates but MOTHER****ER it did a number on my scrotal area.
For the next 24 hours I could not sit, stand, squat, walk or EXIST with out feeling a stinging sensation in my lower reaches. For the next week after that I was peeling dead skin off of my scrotum because apparently, this thing was made out of some form of acid that will burn you in the same way that hair bleach will make all the skin on your hands peel off (another story for another time.)
I hope you're entertained because goddamn! Do I feel foolish just retelling that harrowing tale of my youthful stupidity. - PleaseJustDie, on 10/12/2007, -1/+11@neodon
Yeah you're exactly right, he should wait until its removed from craigslist and can't access it anymore to be able to copy it and then post it here for everyone. - z00k, on 10/12/2007, -3/+10I cant remember what comedian it was but he said something that will stick with me forever...
"Put nair on hair, hair falls off... Put nair on penis, penis falls off" - PleaseJustDie, on 10/12/2007, -2/+8My battle buddy in Basic Training tricked a guy in my platoon into putting Icy Hot on his balls in the shower. He was last person to take a shower and about 3 minutes after he went in we heard a scream so loud people in the bay above us came running down to see if someone had died. It was one of the funniest things I had seen in a long time, even the Drill Sergeant couldn't keep a straight face and just left.
- crawfishsoul, on 10/12/2007, -4/+9In before "Pics or it didn't happen"
Supery smooth and shiny balls. Would shave again. AAAAAA+++++++ - betterth, on 10/12/2007, -2/+5Thanks, for some reason that post was caught by the work filter, even though craigslist is fine.
To the ***** above, stfu. =) - dredownsu, on 10/12/2007, -4/+7I'm very impressed by the writing, and well, I guess I can't leave out a comment on the content. A+
o.O - Lixie, on 10/12/2007, -3/+6Let me guess...you put IcyHot on your balls.
- crisifix, on 10/12/2007, -2/+5I was really hoping the store security would have caught you waxin' your balls.
- AriaStar, on 10/12/2007, -1/+3You've got to completely remove yourself from the gene pool either by dying or castration.
He should get an honorable mention. :) - Darkneuros, on 10/12/2007, -1/+3A friend of mine, who when we were around 13 years old, found a can of shave cream, and as a joke emptied the can on his "area" then streaked through a parking garage wearing nothing but running shoes and the shave cream. It was pretty funny until he started to scream from the burning, we really laughed then. The only thing we had to hose him down with was our Big gulps from 7-11. I totally forgot about that until this story :-)
- rabidbadger, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2No. Let me just say that you should be very selective in what you use as lube during "me time"
- Hindermore, on 10/12/2007, -1/+3The foam from the shampoo after you wash your hair works really good for lubing your boys up for a nice smooth shave in the shower.
- Antitheft, on 10/12/2007, -1/+3How exactly do pr0n stars get their junk so devoid of hair? Seriously. How?
- diggPhile82, on 10/12/2007, -1/+3Awesome!!! I'm still laughing. He should put his story up for the Darwin Awards.
- rabidbadger, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1electrolysis.
- AriaStar, on 10/12/2007, -2/+3Because others were interested Just because you aren't.... Damn, do you think ONLY stuff that interests you personally should be up? You're not that important.
- DiggsOnlyNeoCon, on 10/12/2007, -2/+3Some people may have the site blocked.
- rabidbadger, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1That's where I thought it was going, too.
- Yez70, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1I saw this on laughparty too.
http://www.laughparty.com/funnyjoke/Nair-on-Balls/1160/ - rabidbadger, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Anyone else got any fun stupid genital experimentation stories?
- xDibblerx, on 10/12/2007, -2/+3I like the way Google ads to the right picked right up on the story and now offers me many links to golf BALLS, medicine BALLS and even popcorn BALLS. Good story though. I did something very similar when I was younger and I know how it feels. OUCH!
- skwead, on 10/12/2007, -3/+4digg users dont need balls.
- bwFrampton, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0Well, hell...
though I admit that the wife appreciates a bit of hairlessness downstairs, Nair nor wax strips are going to replace my Mach 3 razor... - mythandros, on 10/12/2007, -2/+2I'm kind of curious about what that would be like now...
- rabidbadger, on 10/12/2007, -3/+2I'm guessing a lot of us did something just as silly when young. God knows I did. more than once...
- Magunwarrior, on 10/12/2007, -5/+4Ha yeah right...Some of us know who it really is, but he shall remain nameless.
- framitz, on 10/12/2007, -4/+3Hmmm, stupid story from a thief with no work ethics.
- ts8lemonade, on 10/12/2007, -4/+3I want my balls to be smooth as eggs!
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -3/+1there are different types of nair made for that..
- Raian, on 10/12/2007, -3/+1Maybe those US torture experts can spice it up a little in Iraq with some Nair for men.
- AriaStar, on 10/12/2007, -6/+3Who the hell are you? :)
- hanksname, on 10/12/2007, -7/+4It was me. Thanks for being so discreet, Aria.
- tafkase7en, on 10/12/2007, -6/+3Why is this on the front page?
- jevb007, on 10/12/2007, -5/+2You are as much an idiot as whoever wrote this if you think it is good writing.
- webtechgeek, on 10/12/2007, -5/+2Thanks for the post. Very well written.
- euphemizeme, on 10/12/2007, -6/+1Has a pungent whiff of fake.
The only thing that tempers that thought, is that the story sucked and nothing horrible happened. I expected his balls to rot and fall off after the sales pitch. - Sharkee, on 10/12/2007, -8/+3... Nominated for CL's Best Of
- straightflava13, on 10/12/2007, -7/+1girl submitting on digg? buried as inaccurate
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -8/+1http://www.4pron.org/general/b/res/1259.html Picture... sadly..
- Sharkee, on 10/12/2007, -8/+1Silly Diggros
- neodon, on 10/12/2007, -21/+2It hasn't gone down, so don't be an ***** and post the article here until it does.
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