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68 Comments
- wildfire, on 10/11/2007, -2/+6011. Digging asinine crap all day instead of working on that project that is two weeks overdue.
- has2k1, on 10/11/2007, -2/+23Real losers don't have time to go through a 10 step guide.
- jasnmb, on 10/11/2007, -1/+209b. wait/plan/plan/start/never finish
- wiggles, on 10/11/2007, -0/+17I would add this corollary: "Nothing you have to fight for is ever worth having"
- inactive, on 10/11/2007, -1/+13#11. vote guiliani
- mrgreenjeans, on 10/11/2007, -8/+17This is just great. Now everyone knows my secrets. At least you left out: smoke A LOT of pot.
- SpectralSounds, on 10/11/2007, -0/+8Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.
- 5xSTUN, on 10/11/2007, -0/+7Okay, here are my 10 steps for thinking like a winner (thrown together hastily and with a lot of bitterness and malice toward genuinely successful people)...
1. Remember that no-one is important except you, and nothing matters but your success
2. Consider every person that you meet to be either a minion to be exploited or an enemy to be crushed
3. If bad things are happening to other people, there's a way for you to profit from it
4. Other people criticize you because they're jealous of you, not because you screwed them over
5. THEIR life savings? HA! It's YOUR life savings, now!
6. Family, love, happiness, legacy, all these things are impediments to your goals
7. If people are worshiping you as some sort of god or prophet, you're on the right track
8. Government and law exist to insure your perpetual and permanent success, and don't let anyone forget it
9. If anyone sues you for screwing them over, see Rule 8
10. Finally, don't forget that you are a shining beacon of hope to everyone who stands to inherit your wealth after you die - kinkyboots02, on 10/11/2007, -1/+8"10. Never put off tomorrow, what you can forget about forever." My personal favorite.
- Waskonator, on 10/11/2007, -0/+7So, i would say that this is the answer to all my prayers on how to get ahead in life. Sadly, I'm a procrastinator... oh well. Theres always next month.
- FastZ, on 10/11/2007, -0/+7I dont need no 10-step program! I was born a loser!
- Crosshare, on 10/11/2007, -0/+6Coral Cache Got It (it's slow): http://retiredat21.com.nyud.net:8080/10-step-guide-to-thinking-like-a-loser/
So you want to think like a loser? Ok, well here is my 10 step guide on how to become the ultimate loser:
1. Learn that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
2. Never rush into a job or opportunity without a lifetime of consideration.
3. Believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from your obligations.
4. All deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
5. Never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero.
6. If at first you don’t succeed, there is always next year.
7. Always decide not to decide, unless of course you change your mind.
8. Always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when you get around to it.
9. Know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.
10. Never put off tomorrow, what you can forget about forever. - sockpuppets, on 10/11/2007, -0/+6Looks like a checklist for depression as well.
- greengiant2684, on 10/11/2007, -0/+5logged on just to digg this comment.. while way behind in work
- inactive, on 10/11/2007, -1/+6No. Real losers have all the time in the world.
- trghpy, on 10/11/2007, -0/+5...
D'Oh! - Angostura, on 10/11/2007, -4/+8Oddly enough, this is identical to the U.S administration's strategic plan for tackling climate change. Especially points 3,4,7 ... oh hell, all of them really.
- kinkyboots02, on 10/11/2007, -4/+7Very funny, and frighteningly accurate.
- justice2003, on 10/11/2007, -0/+3This reminds of George Carlin's rules to live by.
http://www.georgecarlin.com/home/monthly.html - floppyparty, on 10/11/2007, -0/+3Thanks a lot for posting the 10 step guide before the server bellied-up you losers.
- Tippis, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2ln -s is your friend
- santiago1, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2 Should I put that under ~homeuser or ~etc?
- bmxboy661, on 10/11/2007, -1/+3working mirror:
http://retiredat21.com.nyud.net:8080/10-step-guide-to-thinking-like-a-loser/ - inactive, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2Bang on!
- Fooord, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2I was going to read this article but I thought that I could wait until tomorrow...or not do it at all...
- Foenix, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2Hah. This was actually part of a poster I got almost 13 years ago, the Procrastinator's Creed. http://www.humorbin.com/showitem.asp?item=867
- noamsml, on 10/11/2007, -0/+222. bitch about your co-workers on digg
- MaximusAugustus, on 10/11/2007, -0/+211. Believe everything posted on Digg as the unadulterated truth....
- dimension128, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2You posted that 7 mins ago, and its not working now.
- vwvwvw, on 10/11/2007, -1/+313. Frequently comment on how everything sucks.
14. Believe that everyone talks about you behind your back and are plotting ways to screw you.
15. Believe that unfair rules, like being on time, are meant to oppress you.
16. Complain that your coworkers make more money while you do ALL the work.
17. Tell people they're idiots because they don't do things your way.
18. Bitch on conference calls when you can hear somebody typing.
19. Use up as much time as possible at staff meetings to talk about everything YOU are working on.
20. Say "Must be nice" whenever a coworker leaves early.
21. Call anyone who gets a raise or an award a kiss-ass. - inactive, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1Nah, that should be on the 'How to be a ***** idiot and have whats left of your rights and freedoms taken away from you' list.
- catfish182, on 10/11/2007, -1/+2What proof do i have that this person is a loser? is this information correct? How can this be proved?
- thinker1999, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1Just when you think you are alone in the world....
- noamsml, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1I know that if I want to, I can think like a loser. I can do this! I can think like a loser if I only try!
- MrFatalistic, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1I'm 15 of 15 of Carlin's list...sofar life sucks.
My fav:
13. If by chance you make a fresh mistake, especially a costly one, try to repeat it a few times so you become familiar with it and can do it easily in the future. Write it down. Put it with your list of faults.
Blaming yourself for everything is a relatively new thing I've been doing, it does work great but you have to watch out for people using it as a weakness. - popothebright, on 10/11/2007, -1/+2#1 Learn that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
#5 Never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero.
#'s 1 and 5 actually contradict one another, because if something worth doing hasn't been done... it's a miracle... - whatever1, on 10/11/2007, -1/+2I'm a loser
(Ric Flair Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo) - Hidama, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1No one commented:" Step one: read this article." I am surprised.
- Stevethegreat, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1OK, show me someone who's not a little bit loser and I'll fall before your feet and become your eternal slave. Of course "little bit" doesn't mean consuming your whole life being a loser, but then again I've seen losers making it out well in life, which brings us to the initial "word" children "No matter how many advices you'll get on how you should live your life, you'll still be wondering in the dark, you'll never find out", end of lesson.
- MrFatalistic, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1everyone I work with is a loser....go figure.
I know I've got 5 of these points covered solid right now, shouldn't there be a guide to NOT being a loser? You know, besides the 1000 books written to console losers that they're not really losers... - hfactor, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1shouldn't there be a guide to NOT being a loser?
uhm... negate the sentences? - AndrewMB, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1"4. All deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given."
Google? - NineElders, on 10/11/2007, -0/+11. Join a gang.
- drafhk, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1Hah. The guy I work for is 100% exactly like this. I busted out laughing just because it reminded me of him so much.
But then it hit me, I'm working for a loser. What does that say about me?
And remember, quitters never lose. - Error601, on 10/11/2007, -1/+2Or how about it:
12. Be negative about everything because it's gutless and safer than having to defend why you like something. - Ratteler, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1A-*****-MEN!!!
- manti5, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1I printed this off and it's going by my desk.
- burdalane, on 10/11/2007, -1/+27/10 of these are exact descriptions of what I do with my life. For the most part all I do is daydream about making lots of easy money and becoming a rich, famous, beautiful, financially independent Internet celebrity/entrepreneur who codes, writes, and models. But the fact is, when it comes time to do anything, I get stuck trying to decide which of my domains to use.
- humperdeath, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1Did anyone actually enter in their Email to get more info on becoming a loser? If you did, then you can skip all 10 steps, and graduate right away. Good luck
- felchdonkey, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1How ironic that there would be a site called "Retired at 21," all about ambition and money - I wonder if he knows the Black Flag song "Retired at 21" and is making a subtle joke, or if he's just a young berk who's never heard a punk song in his life?
http://play.rhapsody.com/blackflag/inmyhead/retiredat21?didAutoplayBounce=true or a really grainy video http://youtube.com/watch?v=twYTaen8Y04 -
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