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Wii Video Games Blamed For Rise In Effeminate Violence

theonion.com — Concerned parents are again blasting the Nintendo Wii for an incident of effeminate violence following a 13-year-old boy's limp-wristed attack on three of his classmates at a Cleveland-area middle school Tuesday.

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  • thrikulam, on 03/17/2008, -54/+13who let the nintendogs out
    • jemka, on 03/17/2008, -10/+16In other news, bad parenting goes overlooked.
      • mywhitenoise, on 03/17/2008, -2/+8I like how you replied to the first comment (even though it has nothing to do with the parent comment), so that yours would be near the top.
        • Gir53457, on 03/17/2008, -2/+9I like how he probably did not read the article before he commented. Or even check the source.
      • GliTCH82, on 03/17/2008, -2/+3Hey, jackass, you're wrong. On the internet. And I'm calling you out.
    • Flammmy, on 03/17/2008, -49/+2stupid article... bullies are always a problem, now parrents are too unwilling to admit it is THEIR CHILD that is the problem, not their wii taking over their child's mind...

      oh my god, i just got killed in halo 3! i am going to go kill everyone i hate now!!

      anyway... its a Wii... if you are worried about violence and shooting go after something that looks semi realistic... such as one of the 360 or ps3 games... (which are way better anyway)
      • LemonDefragger, on 03/17/2008, -2/+52Everybody!!! This is the Onion! Don't make a fool of yourself before it's too late!
        • Akaji, on 03/17/2008, -0/+17NO! Why'd you have to warn them!?
        • saxreturns, on 03/17/2008, -0/+18On the other hand, watching people fall for it is highly entertaining.
      • KSUdesigner, on 03/17/2008, -2/+12Try looking at the address bar next time, this is from The Onion dumbass.
      • BamaMac, on 03/17/2008, -1/+15You do realize that The Onion is a satirical news site, right?
      • iamnobody8614, on 03/17/2008, -1/+13lol EPIC FAIL
      • stronglikedan, on 03/17/2008, -6/+3I don't even read articles from the onion, but I always love the insightful commenting. Way to make my day!
    • smackafiyah, on 03/17/2008, -0/+22*MEGA FACEPALM*
    • ObeseEurotrash, on 03/18/2008, -2/+0hahah i lold
  • exscind, on 03/17/2008, -45/+9...which reminds me, when are we getting Katamari Damashii on the Wii? The King of Cosmos demands it!

    Using 2 remotes to control left and right would be pretty much the best KD controls ever.
    • josephlucas, on 03/17/2008, -3/+25As much as I agree with you, that comment was WAY off topic.
    • exscind, on 03/17/2008, -0/+10Topic: Effeminacy in games (on the Wii).

      When the game's most visible character shoots rainbows out of his mouth and wears a blinking tutti-frutti headdress, panda-bear belt buckle, white gloves, "Purple Rain" facial hair, and form-fitting violet tights molded over a bulging package... I'd hardly call it off topic. Especially when the topic is a joke.

      http://gaygamer.net/2006/07/top_20_gayest_video_ga ...
    • macweirdo42, on 03/17/2008, -0/+11And expose our children to the dangers of rolling things up? You thought school shootings were bad, just wait 'till we have the first school-being-rolled-into-a-giant-Katamari incident.
  • shadow54682, on 03/17/2008, -4/+108For as much as the media bashes video games and blames violence on them, it's nice to see them being mocked for once, especially from America's finest news source.
    • TRScheel, on 03/17/2008, -1/+6I think they've started to see so many people cry wolf about it that they are getting wise.... finally...
    • Konstantino, on 03/17/2008, -0/+5Epic win.
      http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/wii_j ...
    • sgtpppr, on 03/17/2008, -0/+3Because in the Unites States, it's not possible that bad parenting could be the culprit! If you know anyone who works with other people's kids (preferably young ones in a school setting), ask them if they would go up to a parent and imply they are raising their kids wrong. There is nothing that incites violence in a mother's soul than being told that she might need to work on her parenting. I think even the media is scared to imply people raise their kids wrong and simply find some external stimuli to blame for all childhood behavioral problems.

      I truly hope the media is starting to realize that video games are just a scapegoat and that it's starting to show in parodies like this.
    • Mustard911, on 03/17/2008, -0/+2The real problem is WII only have three RPG's.
  • AwesomeMonster, on 03/17/2008, -44/+5Yeah, I'm sure video games taught kids how to hit.
    • Lubinski, on 03/17/2008, -2/+33^^ did not get it ??
    • AwesomeMonster, on 03/17/2008, -8/+4Yeah... I deserved that. Should have read the article there. Just sick of the thompson attacks.
      • Lubinski, on 03/27/2008, -0/+1Dont you get to kill him in one of the version of GTA?
  • BlueSkyfish, on 03/17/2008, -28/+4You'll get no sympathy from me.
    • cbone38, on 03/17/2008, -0/+1lol sounds like Ike=P
      • BlueSkyfish, on 03/17/2008, -0/+1That's what I intended, but it looks like nobody got it :/
  • khoa1708, on 03/17/2008, -27/+4hey, at least they are burning calories while turning "violent"
  • iidestined, on 03/17/2008, -6/+126my punching of the girlfriend has definitely improved. Thanks Wii sports!
    • wc3452, on 03/17/2008, -1/+28LOL..."girlfriend"
      • DarkSamus, on 03/17/2008, -1/+24he mastered slamming the door on his left hand
      • d0onut, on 03/17/2008, -2/+2That's kind of a dick thing to say.
    • JrGhoull, on 03/17/2008, -1/+15girlfriend, guyfriend (who claims to be a girl), its an easy thing to mix up :-P
    • jimjoke, on 03/18/2008, -0/+2I've switched to a soap bar in a sock -- the wife-beater's weapon of choice since 1950.
  • 3leggedHorse, on 03/17/2008, -61/+3 Ningaydo.
    • GibitStylin, on 03/17/2008, -3/+3ur one of those kids that thought copter should be renamed 'gyro-robo' arent you.
      • Deathsaw, on 03/23/2008, -0/+0Why not? Gyro-robo is such a better name. Also, news ignored. Thanks 3leggedHorse for missing the point.
  • DAaaMan64, on 03/17/2008, -49/+5Oh God dammit I hate people who think like this.
    • xoticpt, on 03/17/2008, -1/+28You do realize this is from the Onion...
    • jollins, on 03/17/2008, -4/+6You do realize that the Onion is a parody news source, right?
    • saxreturns, on 03/17/2008, -0/+12You hate satirists?
    • DAaaMan64, on 03/17/2008, -7/+1woops. Didn't realize it was the Onion.

      And I love satirists.
  • TeKoverride, on 03/17/2008, -30/+2wow.....
  • orangetiki, on 03/17/2008, -4/+66Hooray Onion!! I almost believed it. Ha limp-wristed attack.
    • jbhannah, on 03/17/2008, -10/+3Dugg simply for Onion.
      • RSS14, on 03/17/2008, -2/+13Though I liked your comment, I am going to bury it to teach you that the universe is arbitrary and unfair.
        • inigomntoya, on 03/17/2008, -7/+3Also the reason that I burried your witty comment...
  • mrelusive, on 03/17/2008, -15/+8Even though this is The Onion, I really think something as inane as this is bound to actually happen sooner or later.
    • Borgcube, on 03/17/2008, -0/+2You mean some kind of violence caused by Wii or a serious news article about it?
    • YourTechSupport, on 03/18/2008, -0/+2Hell. Before I saw the domain I thought the summary was for a REAL ARTICLE.
  • SeanRoss, on 03/17/2008, -7/+32Wow read the headline and almost said Goddamnit who's reporting this BS this time Fox News or Jack Thompson until I saw it was from the Onion
  • ArchiTech, on 03/17/2008, -5/+16Thanks Onion, I needed that... my day is that much happier.
    • Snowspot, on 03/17/2008, -0/+5people must be really miserable in their lives to vote down your comment... wtf lol
    • ArchiTech, on 03/17/2008, -0/+1or their sense of humour has been warped from too much digging and has become far too sarcastic due to lack of natural daylight.
  • cyberkickme, on 03/17/2008, -7/+18When i first read the title i was like "Oh My God, you have to be kidding me". Then i read the news source...
  • hollywoodphony, on 03/17/2008, -7/+46This explains a lot about my son. Is there game where you have to put on makeup and kiss other boys?
    • Akaji, on 03/17/2008, -4/+16You should buy the game with the belt and the hitting.
      • so1omon, on 03/17/2008, -2/+25Right, because hitting your children keeps them away from the gay...
        • Pritchard, on 03/18/2008, -0/+5It might keep them from admitting it in front of you.
      • chuckDontSurf, on 03/17/2008, -2/+5That's wrong on so many levels. Kinda funny, but wrong.
    • jbhannah, on 03/17/2008, -16/+3Is there a game where you learn to write Engrish?

      Oh, sorry, that's just your fail showing. Engrish is only acceptable if your real first language is East Asian.
      • hollywoodphony, on 03/17/2008, -2/+16Really? Because I left out an 'a'? You really don't have anything better to do with your t---
        Nevermind, forget where I was for a second.
      • Clixx13, on 03/17/2008, -1/+5Wow, you're a dick.
  • lnxfi, on 03/17/2008, -30/+0This sounds like a joke a (bad) comedian would end on.

    Goodnight everyone! It's been great!
  • benfeld1, on 03/17/2008, -8/+9hooray for the onion!
  • snyperr2s, on 03/17/2008, -18/+4Because of the union, i always have to look at the website to be sure it's from a reputable news site.
    • so1omon, on 03/17/2008, -0/+11Damn unions and their damned unionizing.
      • Dubbsacc, on 03/17/2008, -0/+7I'd rather have that over onionizing. Imagine the tears.
  • tonyscha, on 03/17/2008, -17/+2< Sarcasm > Totally Agree < /Sarcasm >
    • dudeguy1234, on 03/17/2008, -5/+1Why are you digging down? Sarcasm AND HTML? what more do you want?!
      • inigomntoya, on 03/17/2008, -0/+3He went too far with the sarcasm.
    • dynelol, on 03/17/2008, -1/+4Sarcasm tags are ***** stupid. If someone can't detect the sarcasm then they're just too stupid.
  • santaliqueur, on 03/17/2008, -1/+61I love how people take articles from The Onion seriously and don't get it, but when a strange real article arises, everyone is so quick to say "Jesus I feel like I'm reading The Onion!"
  • jengo7, on 03/17/2008, -14/+3for a second there i was almost taking that crap seriously.. but then i realized it was a joke.. LOL Good one.
  • BoneheadFarker, on 03/17/2008, -5/+16Dear god...I nearly got sucked into an Onion article...
    • orangetiki, on 03/17/2008, -1/+9Don't feel bad. scroll up to see all those who HAVE been. damn people read the article THEN voice an opinion. stop being so stupid
    • inigomntoya, on 03/17/2008, -2/+2Yeah, we need an Onion section for all of those guys that thought this was a serious article.
  • jos22, on 03/17/2008, -27/+2Mothers against fun strike again
    and who bought their a kids a Wii the very mothers who complain about their kids having a wii.
    I remember when the ninja turtles were to blame if Someone slaped or kicked someone
  • skeletorcares, on 03/17/2008, -19/+2When the games are as bad as they are on Wii, you have to find some other way to entertain yourself.
    • Manguskahn, on 03/17/2008, -0/+5Super Smash Brothers Brawl, Super Mario Galaxy, Medal of Honor 2, Guitar Hero 3, Metroid Prime 3.
      I rest my case.

      You know the article is a joke, right?
      • skeletorcares, on 03/17/2008, -6/+1Yeah, I know its a joke

        Haven't played SSSB, but its my last hope for the system. SMG -- on the shelf in 4 days @ 121stars. Medal of Honor 2 is god awful compared to COD. I have GH3, but would much rather have it for PS3 (downloadable content, no jaggies). Metroid Prime 3s a timewaster, not a game, super easy.

        Counterpoint.
        • Zarokima, on 03/18/2008, -0/+3Zack and Wiki. No More Heroes. In addition to Brawl, of course.
  • ReFracture, on 03/17/2008, -8/+5I love you onion.
  • polalion, on 03/17/2008, -3/+25"The Wii's fluffy flowers and bright peach-colored sunlight glorify chasing precious talking rabbits with plungers," Greer said. "What kind of message is that sending to our children? That it's 'cool' to act like some kind of electrical elf or banana fairy?"

    Yes it is, indeed, cool to act like a banana fairy.
    • JrGhoull, on 03/17/2008, -0/+12lol the best line was

      "Even more frightening, the motion-sensing technology teaches them that the only way to resolve conflicts is to flail their arms in acts of fruity aggression."
  • Premier, on 03/17/2008, -13/+1From the article: "Despite graphic simulated violence against teensy little bunnies and realistic depictions of dangerous plungers"

    Solution: Low res plunger graphics ... problem solved, keep the 52 million, your welcome
  • SteelTallon, on 03/17/2008, -9/+4Sweet! I get my Wii from UPS tomorrow. My son is going to be flinging his arms in no time!!!
  • RussianBlaze, on 03/17/2008, -27/+0When are parents going to start taking responsibility for their children? Your job as a parent is to teach your child right from wrong, & if you do a PROPER job of teaching them what is & IS NOT acceptable.... then be assured, no video game will take away from that. Its far time people STOP playing the blame game.
    • RussianBlaze, on 03/17/2008, -8/+1I sir, am a female. Given, I made a mistake & Ididnt look at the source, I still stand by my general statement. People just dont like to admit that they are not good parents.
    • Chassit, on 03/17/2008, -0/+8While I agree with what you are saying, it seems pretty obvious that you didn't get it.
      • RussianBlaze, on 03/17/2008, -4/+2I didnt. Will take a closer look at source in future.
  • JrGhoull, on 03/17/2008, -5/+11limp-wristed attack

    am i the only one that thinks it sounded more like he was wacking them off?
  • Bananas21ca, on 03/17/2008, -23/+3Buried for not being in the Comedy section.
  • RustyJ, on 03/17/2008, -5/+9I learned how to fight from smash brothers.

    My up B sucks though.
  • kb29, on 03/17/2008, -7/+5The Onion has some funny stuff, but why do people post the articles like they are actually news?
  • LiquidShield, on 03/17/2008, -10/+8(pretentious news anchor voice)

    Today on Fox news:

    Boy turns homosexual after playing the new latest game craze the Nintendo Wii. The boy from (insert state or city here) brutally assaulted fellow classmates by slapping the air in front of him, and yelling in a feminine voice "Stop it". Two classmates were taken to the hospitol for serious injuries for falling over and laughing so hard it literally busted their sides open. The new group "M.A.W.... Mothers against Wii" are flabbergasted that their children are becoming softies when it comes to fighting, and wants their children to revert back to their natural manly ways of violence.
  • hollyminkowski, on 03/17/2008, -2/+10Dugg for the line "disturbing acts of foppishness"
  • pagno, on 03/17/2008, -4/+8"God bless The Onion."
    Oxymoron, Onion is God!
  • mrdimn, on 03/17/2008, -3/+8To me it's funnier to see how many Diggers, who are normally intelligent folks, actually believe the article - especially when it comes from the Onion! My God folks... It's a joke! If you believed it... go back to CNN.
  • Quenlin, on 03/17/2008, -3/+3I was a victim, my best sweater is ruined and I have a mark that took SIX minutes to go away!
  • robme, on 03/17/2008, -1/+10"mild to moderate bell-ringing will be rated P for Pansy"
  • iamnobody8614, on 03/17/2008, -2/+5wow. lot of people not getting the joke
  • tman84, on 03/17/2008, -2/+11Digging because I enjoy seeing comments from people who are experiencing their first week ever on the internet, never heard of the Onion, and reporting this story as inaccurate.
  • smackafiyah, on 03/17/2008, -2/+4The Onion always come through in the clutch whenever I need a good laugh after a hards day of dealing with idiots
  • bejayel, on 03/17/2008, -1/+4Its too bad this is from the onion, its totally believable.
  • tbunreal, on 03/17/2008, -3/+9Keep yo pimp hand strong *****
  • marrstu, on 03/17/2008, -10/+5I never understood the appeal of reading fake news articles.
  • belgar, on 03/17/2008, -19/+2sigh....am I the only one who thinks the Onion is not really funny?

    /flame on
    • stonklit, on 03/17/2008, -0/+5No, I think there's 6 or 7 others.

      Actually, 6. One of them ended up dying in some "stick up the ass" accident.
    • dudeguy1234, on 03/17/2008, -0/+5Yes.
    • gudnbluts, on 03/17/2008, -2/+0I usually find the Onion funny, but this one missed the mark, I reckon. I didn't even get what the hell they were babbling about 'til they explained it in the fifth paragraph.
    • gudnbluts, on 03/17/2008, -0/+1I'm actually going to take that back. Although the article itself may have been blah, the comments from people who can't process it are just great.
  • PinkFloyd2003, on 03/17/2008, -2/+7"Even more frightening, the motion-sensing technology teaches them that the only way to resolve conflicts is to flail their arms in acts of fruity aggression."

    By and far the greatest line in the article.
  • saturnx8, on 03/17/2008, -4/+3oh, so all those guys who sport rainbow patches and hang out in the gayborhood are devoted wii-fan-boys
  • Carlix, on 03/17/2008, -6/+6"Despite graphic simulated violence against teensy little bunnies and realistic depictions of dangerous plungers, video game Rayman Raving Rabbids is popular among children as old as 18."

    Since when are adults children?
    • CazMo, on 03/17/2008, -2/+1When your mother sues Nintendo over Wii games being violent, im pretty sure you'd still be a child by the time you're 18 as well. Next thing you know the dumb bitch will sue NASCAR for teacher her son how to drive too fast.
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