dailytelegraph.com.au — The Pope has banned faithful followers from bringing vuvuzelas to his public appearances on his UK tour next month. A spokeswoman for the UK papal visit said "Musical instruments or anything that makes that [vuvuzela] noise would be included in this [banned items list]."
Aug 23, 2010 View in Crawl 4
badqatAug 23, 2010
How about he bans the pedophile priests.
Closed AccountAug 23, 2010
I dunno man. Vuvuzelas are pretty annoying.
eshinnAug 23, 2010
Yeah but this is just going to give people an urge to turn up with one. I would.
tompAug 23, 2010
do it for the lulz
secrityAug 23, 2010
They are NO WHERE as annoying as the pope.
johnomazzAug 23, 2010
Pssh, if anything he should want vuvuzelas there. That way when someone brings up the pedophile issue, he can claim not to have heard it from all the BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ noise.
theosterAug 23, 2010
theres a joke about blowing horns in there somewhere...
davidbondAug 23, 2010
Well, if you want to show your opposition to the Pope's stance on paedophilia, I guess the Vuvuzela is going to be your "peaceful" protest weapon of choice from now on.
douglasqAug 23, 2010
"God hates vuvuzelas."
"Really?"
"Sure."
zomgondoAug 23, 2010
"Let us look at John 3:16, where Jesus says BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ubitendoAug 23, 2010
AMEN!
freakybatAug 23, 2010
The young vuvuzela industry is being molested again.
rpatrick819Aug 23, 2010
Well, the pope is obviously pro-molestation. No surprise, really.
giveerAug 23, 2010
"Because there's two people in the world: those who have a problem with the child touching of the penis and those who like it. But nobody says: 'Weeell, *I* don't do it, but, I get it, so...." '
~ Louis C.K.
mark5hsAug 23, 2010
That's actually pretty hilarious. I can just picture it. "Go in peace my children", "Bzzzzzzzz!!!"
cooldude777Aug 23, 2010
"Pope today banned BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"
halphpriceAug 23, 2010
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
dustin00Aug 23, 2010
Holy noisemakers Batman!
Closed AccountAug 23, 2010
They're unholy noisemakers now.
Closed AccountAug 23, 2010
I don't know why the new government didn't cancel his invitation.
We're paying millions for the security for the paedophile defender, in a not particularly religious country. We're also broke - the last thing we need to be spending money on is this.
binaryclockAug 23, 2010
almost all countries are broke, including the USA.
oxidaneAug 23, 2010
Then no ****ry should have to pay for his crap. Let him pay for it.
rpatrick819Aug 23, 2010
Well, the new government is virtually indistinguishable to the old government in most respects.
Closed AccountAug 23, 2010
I would disagree.
Long overdue, much needed spending cuts and the rolling back of Labour's attempts to create a surveillance state are two huge differnces.
DurkadurAug 23, 2010
on the other hand molesting children is fine.
cajungator3Aug 23, 2010
What religion/atheist group doesn't have that?!
designerutahAug 23, 2010
It's not that molestors don't exist in all groups. It's that the Catholic church actively hid their crimes, supported them by moving them to a new area (without warning parents or punishing the priests), and bought off the victims and their families. What other religion/non-believer group does that?
binaryclockAug 23, 2010
It is Jesus's word. The Papel has spoken!!
omgscienceAug 23, 2010
But he still wants a ample supply of little boys for the after parties right?
binaryclockAug 24, 2010
.. and money... even though he's doing God's bidding, he always needs money, and lots of it.
peanutcheesebarAug 23, 2010
I wonder what the BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ is all about?
whitegripesAug 23, 2010
Does that mean this Parrot must be killed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYqpuEqjmGE
seanaybAug 23, 2010
Vuvuzelas suck. Hell, they should add it to the creed.
nyxerebosAug 23, 2010
... and start the Holy Office of Vuvuzela Inquisition. I hope he chooses Anne Robinson as the first Grand Inquisitor.
akseitzAug 23, 2010
This account has been closed by the user
rpatrick819Aug 23, 2010
Catholicism != Christianity
Hate the vuvu-BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
rahazAug 23, 2010
Actually Catholicism =Christianity.
But Christianity =/= Catholicism.
Closed AccountAug 23, 2010
What Rahaz? You're not making any sense.
rpatrick819Aug 23, 2010
He means catholicism is a subset of Christianity, but not the other way around. In the hopes of spurring some productive religious conversation on digg...
I don't think so, but I suppose it depends on one's definition of "Christianity". If you define Christianity as a religion that claims Christ is God's son, then yes, it is. If defined as a religion that teaches following Christ above all else, then no, catholicism is not Christianity.
Simply put, everything about catholicism is bass-ackwards and completely conflicts with Christianity - praying to saints, idolatry of Mary, confession, "works"-based judgement/purgatory, papal infallability, etc. It doesn't even come down to whether one is athiest or not...Catholic doctrine conflicts with itself. Ultimately it comes down to catholicism is about following the pope, not Jesus, so I do not consider it to be Christianity. I would say the same for any "Christian" denomination that has a mentality like this...whether a big church or fringe cults like Westboro.
Lastly, I'll just add that I know there are people who are Christians that attend catholic churches, and that there are catholic churches that are Christian. I'm talking about the "church" as a whole and its doctrine in my statements above. As many have pointed out on this thread, the current pope has done more to prevent the spread of vuvuzelas than child molestation.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
theodenkingAug 23, 2010
@rpatrick
Catholic doctrine contradicts itself. Protestant doctrine contradicts itself. Mormon doctrine contradicts itself.
I prefer not to waste much effort on distinguishing different varieties of bulls**t.
rpatrick819Aug 23, 2010
@theodenking
Mormon, yes. Protestant, probably. I guess the main reason I even spent time typing that I'd ask people to consider is that even though most of what people see associated with Christianity (wars, hopocrisy, lying, cheating, extremely questionable views in regards to anything scientific), people need to be able to distinguish one from the other. These things are NOT good, do not reflect God or Christ, and shouldn't be associated as such.
Lumping them all together is a great way to feel good about ignoring the possibility that there IS truth in there.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
designerutahAug 23, 2010
rpatrick: From a non-believer's perspective, Christ's teachings as given in the New Testament represent a wonderful life philosophy. But in terms of religious belief, Christians are, by definition, anyone who professes to believe in Christ. Period. Any distinction beyond that is arguing about which beliefs they agree with, or actually practice. Since none of the religious aspects (supernatural, God created everything, we're here for a reason, etc.) are supported in nature, any rational person must conclude that the religion itself isn't true. Yes, it contains true things, such as good ways to live, but nearly all life teachings contain those types of lessons.
All Christian religions contain contradictions. The Bible itself is contradictory. Within the first two chapters of Genesis we're given two different Earth creation stories. In the NT, Christ says sinners will be with him in Paradise when they die, but the Apostles teach hell and damnation for sinners.
rpatrick819Aug 23, 2010
@designerutah
There are plenty of beliefs I disagree with that I'd consider Christian, and I already stated whether or not this was Christianity depended upon one's view of Christianity; no point arguing semantics anymore.
I'm curious as to what exactly you mean by saying supernatural things are not evident in nature? Supernatural is defined as "not natural".
I'd like to offer some natural evidence from Genesis. Call them coincidence if you like, but all these things are true:
* Oil comes from plant fossils, or so we're told. Ever wonder how the most oil-rich area of the planet is nothing but desert? Eden is listed between the Tigris and Euphrates. Moses (believed to be the writer of Genesis) had no way of knowing any of this.
* Genesis lists a "filament" between the sky and space. Moses had no way of knowing about the ozone layer.
* God told Abraham he would make a great nation of his people, that his decedents would be as numerous as the grains of sand on the earth or the stars in the sky. There were only ~1,000 known stars at the time of writing (not many more can be seen with the naked eye today), so this would seem an odd comparison back then.
* At the time of the flood (when people were living hundreds of years), God said man's days would be numbered to 120 years. Life expectancy at the time of writing was very short, yet if you take a look at life expectancy (and graph it statistically), you can see things ramping down exponentially towards this number today. Of course, that's partly hard to track due to birth records being sort of spotty in the 1890s, and some claims of people being hundred of years old. It's still very easy to show the rapidly declining year over year expectancy at older ages to find the real answer.
There are more, just can't think of any more at the moment.
As for the two contradictions you listed, in Genesis (specifically KJV), there is some confusing wording in chapter 2 where it is referring to things in past tense but seemingly in present, specifically with the beasts/etc being formed. The Bible wasn't originally written in English, translation errors in KJV abound, along with the fact that the way we use many words are different now. This is a translation issue, not a contradiction.
As for the second, everyone is a sinner, and condemned to be thrown into the lake of fire if their sins are not paid for. Christ did told the thief (who was a sinner) on the cross he would be with Him in paradise, because his sins were covered. It's like being sentenced to jail only to find out you're sentence is commuted because someone else's time served.
rpatrick819Aug 23, 2010
Sorry, missed edit. Meant to add (to the life expectancy) thing for fairness that there is one french woman with official recognition as to living over the 120 mark. However, if you graph old ages, she is either a million:1+ outlier or is just very old but not THAT old.
misteratozAug 23, 2010
why not hate both? They sure haven't redeemed themselves in the slightest.
akronAug 23, 2010
vuvuzelas don't damn you to eternal suffering. I'd go with religion
dnz64Aug 23, 2010
i am not sure about th-
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
nyxerebosAug 23, 2010
Religion makes up stores about suffering after death, which you won't experience, and vuvuzelas piss you off IRL, which you do experience. Seems clear cut to me, vuvzelas.
bytecolorAug 23, 2010
In _my_ interpretation of the Pope's request, I should bring two vuvuzelas. You know, just in case a fellow brother or sister misplaces theirs or -- God forbid -- can't afford one. I'm quite positive this is what Jesus would do.
powderedtoastyAug 23, 2010
Annoying plastic horns: banned.
Molesting children then lying about it: OK.
trythinking1stAug 23, 2010
I would have thought that the pope would be okay with long tube-shaped things that are put to ones lips??
powderedtoastyAug 23, 2010
He doesn't like long ones...
romanxAug 23, 2010
Molesting is technically banned, therefore they probably have tons of vuvuzelas at St. Peter's Basilica for angels.
http://imgur.com/ghXXy.jpg
Closed AccountAug 23, 2010
Well vuvuzelas would be there annoying HIM. Molestation is significantly annoying to him because its not right there infront of him busting his ear drums.
rpatrick819Aug 23, 2010
Probably mad that Gandalf got to go to the World Cup and he didn't.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7B2LPxggvqY
polartxAug 23, 2010
hey guys, the world cup is over, lets let this vuvuzela meme die
kthxbai
acknotswAug 23, 2010
NEVER!
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
oxidaneAug 23, 2010
The motion to let the vuvuzela meme die...granted.
ilcodinodivinoAug 23, 2010
FTA: "Musical instruments or anything that makes that [vuvuzela] noise would be included in this." "Candles were banned for health and safety reasons"
I think the Vatican is pretty much angry with anything that requires a blowing. Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
delphium226Aug 23, 2010
... that is not a priests penis.
there... finished that for you.
dillholeAug 23, 2010
Has anyone come up with a good argument for spending £12m on bringing this idiot to the UK? Send the money to Pakistan, and while you're at it, send the Pope as well.
Closed AccountAug 23, 2010
The actual cost is closer to £100m when you factor in the police protection that is being covered by existing police budgets.
dteleAug 23, 2010Submitter
He banned the vuvuzela
rpatrick819Aug 23, 2010
"But papal officials gave the green light to banners and flags, blankets to sit on the ground and torches instead of candles."
Any word on pitchforks?
secrityAug 23, 2010
Kerosene soaked straw on a stick sort of torches? What about road flares? Roman candles?
turiousAug 23, 2010
http://www.explosm.net/comics/2100/
[insert pedophile joke here in relation to the comic]
acknotswAug 23, 2010
The vuvuzela must be banned, so sayeth the spider.
nicko68Aug 23, 2010
Kids have more sensitive hearing than adults since their eardrums are thinner. You don't want to scare the little boys away.
Closed AccountAug 23, 2010
FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU POPE
dnz64Aug 23, 2010
fupope?
atroaciousAug 23, 2010
Thank god
jerrycanAug 23, 2010
I predict he will now be inundated with the sound of Vuvuzelas everywhere he goes now....
pbrbeerAug 23, 2010
We finally find the perfect place for Vuvuzelas to be used and someone bans them..... damn...
oxidaneAug 23, 2010
Doesn't surprise me. Bitch bans everything...
mrnaturalAug 23, 2010
In days of old when knights were bold
And rubbers weren't invented...
They used vuvuzelas instead
Thus babies were prevented!
In other news...Pope speaks out against birth control...
anigavAug 23, 2010
Get a better prospective by reading the article this way:
http://www.vuvuzela-time.co.uk/www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/breaking-news/pope-bans-vuvuzelas-on-british-tour/story-e6freuyi-1225909098016
dteleAug 23, 2010Submitter
That's really annoying...
thanks (I think)
canadianmacfanAug 23, 2010
Ban the Pope instead.
nyx210Aug 23, 2010
This just in: Millions of Africans say, 'f**k You' to the Pope.
More news at 11.
theodenkingAug 23, 2010
I feel asleep in history lessons a lot but I think the Glorious Revolution was about us not having to give two s**ts what the Pope says.
secrityAug 23, 2010
In the UK and the US, that is true in theory. The realities in the US are a bit different, though.
029aAug 23, 2010
Someone should pass out vuvuzelas with condoms on them.
jcardinalAug 23, 2010
and phone numbers to local abortion clinics
remingtonhAug 23, 2010
Anybody else read, "Pope Banz Venezuelans?"
Closed AccountAug 23, 2010
Arrest the pope
mizuhochanAug 23, 2010
Ban religion.
rossiprojectsAug 23, 2010
s**t the Vatican Down.
secrityAug 23, 2010
Burn the Vatican Down.
kevinmaloneAug 23, 2010
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cigarjockeyAug 23, 2010
TV Evangelists are 100 times more annoying.
spoboAug 23, 2010
nice! that's what I would have done as the pope. Also, I would have banned all religion.
thestoveiscoldAug 23, 2010
I'm going to be there protesting and I'm definitely buying a Vuvuzela.
Closed AccountAug 23, 2010
Because choir boys were using them as rape whistles.
joculatorAug 23, 2010
dur hur hur
joculatorAug 23, 2010
What do you call a girl from Venezuela with a large vulva...
joculatorAug 23, 2010
der hur hur...
/beat you 2 it
milkmageAug 23, 2010
mulva?
joculatorAug 23, 2010
vulvazueala
rodneyws1977Aug 23, 2010
Too phallic?
samslaterAug 23, 2010
I can't believe some of my taxes will go towards this ****'s visit.
esixtyAug 23, 2010
I'm going to the Protest the Pope march on the 18th at Hyde Park and now I'm definitely taking along a vuvuzela, it'll go great with my paedobear costume
akronAug 23, 2010
RATS! I hope I can return them.
warcinAug 23, 2010
I think this may be the first one of his decisions that I fully support