It is apparent from these comments that most people here are incapable of having a functional relationship. Just because you don't understand women doesn't make the women insane; it might make them bad communicators or it might make you bad communicators but it doesn't always make them insane and you a saint. Trying to justify all of the times that you have gotten broken up with by saying that girls are insane is simply failing to address any problems that you have and THAT is insane. Trying to blame all of the problems in a relationship on the other person is equally delusional and non-functional. Everybody screws up and if you haven't figured that out by now, please stop breathing my air.I have been in a lot of relationships where I have sat a guy down and said "you did this. It hurt my feelings and this is why. It made me feel bad in this way. I'm sure that you didn't mean it that way and it is totally not your fault, so tell me how you did mean it and we will find a solution that is good for both of us" and gotten broken up with for doing so. Men FREAK OUT when girls act sane in their direction because they think that all girls are insane and because all girls are insane, "pretending to be rational" is dishonest and a sign of incurable insanity. They think is makes women more insane. Trust me.Everyone starts out insane. You either get the skills to get along in a relationship or you don't, and that goes for both sexes. The misogynists here are really despicable. I hope you don't wonder why there are a lot of virgins around here.
Well, I *think* you are being sarcastic.... It's so hard to tell around here since apparently a lot of guys assume that and assume that everyone else assumes it.I wonder if anyone actually read the article besides me.
Here are the Cliff's Notes(TM): Men and women argue differently.Men dismiss women as crazy or dwelling on stupid things, which makes women mad and permanently.This is only in our culture; in other cultures, the roles are reversed, so it could be societal and not biological.Men should say "Your feelings are valid" instead of "you're insane." This tells the female that they are not being ridiculed and that helps us get along.Why can't we all just get along?
If you need to put that much thought into your attention management just to avoid arguments that boil down to "you are not paying enough attention to me," then it is possible that your nature is to not give as much attention as is reasonable and *that* would be your fault.Oh sorry. I didn't mean to point out your temper tantrum.
You have reached the digg "explaining women to men" help line. We have overlooked your problem and have come up with several solutions. The recommended solution is as follows:Your wife feels that the cleanliness of the house is an indication of her value as a person. While she thinks that she can get away with it when it is family, letting others see her untidiness would be exposing her worthlessness to people outsiders. She probably has low self-esteem, which causes her to be overly concerned with appearances, aka they way that she looks to strangers as opposed to her family and friends. This concern with appearances is why she does not insist on the house being spotless when there are no visitors coming. DO NOT give her a hard time about this or otherwise imply that she is crazy. Go along with it. But tell her things that will help her feel better about herself, both during the cleaning and at other random times. Here are some suggestions:"I know that this is important to you and you are important to me, so I will be happy to help.""You are so wonderful that when the cable guy comes, he will be too distracted by you to notice that spot.""Would you like me to help you keep this clean all the time so we don't have to do a mad cleaning job when someone is coming over?""You are such a good [insert task]er! I could really learn a thing or two from you.""My friends are so jealous that I found you! And frankly, if they aren't, they're stupid. You're the best!"Eventually, you should be able to move up to:"I know! Instead of cleaning the [insert room name], let's close the door to it and distract him with cookies! Ohhhh, we are so naughty."This should provide long term acceptance that she is ok even if the house is not spotless.Alternately, hire a maid to clean at a regular interval, for instance once a week or once every two weeks, so you only have to pick up in between visits.
mrurcNov 1, 2007
It is apparent from these comments that most people here are incapable of having a functional relationship. Just because you don't understand women doesn't make the women insane; it might make them bad communicators or it might make you bad communicators but it doesn't always make them insane and you a saint. Trying to justify all of the times that you have gotten broken up with by saying that girls are insane is simply failing to address any problems that you have and THAT is insane. Trying to blame all of the problems in a relationship on the other person is equally delusional and non-functional. Everybody screws up and if you haven't figured that out by now, please stop breathing my air.I have been in a lot of relationships where I have sat a guy down and said "you did this. It hurt my feelings and this is why. It made me feel bad in this way. I'm sure that you didn't mean it that way and it is totally not your fault, so tell me how you did mean it and we will find a solution that is good for both of us" and gotten broken up with for doing so. Men FREAK OUT when girls act sane in their direction because they think that all girls are insane and because all girls are insane, "pretending to be rational" is dishonest and a sign of incurable insanity. They think is makes women more insane. Trust me.Everyone starts out insane. You either get the skills to get along in a relationship or you don't, and that goes for both sexes. The misogynists here are really despicable. I hope you don't wonder why there are a lot of virgins around here.
mrurcNov 1, 2007
I'm from Louisiana. I have you beat.
mrurcNov 1, 2007
Well, I *think* you are being sarcastic.... It's so hard to tell around here since apparently a lot of guys assume that and assume that everyone else assumes it.I wonder if anyone actually read the article besides me.
mrurcNov 1, 2007
Here are the Cliff's Notes(TM): Men and women argue differently.Men dismiss women as crazy or dwelling on stupid things, which makes women mad and permanently.This is only in our culture; in other cultures, the roles are reversed, so it could be societal and not biological.Men should say "Your feelings are valid" instead of "you're insane." This tells the female that they are not being ridiculed and that helps us get along.Why can't we all just get along?
mrurcNov 1, 2007
If you need to put that much thought into your attention management just to avoid arguments that boil down to "you are not paying enough attention to me," then it is possible that your nature is to not give as much attention as is reasonable and *that* would be your fault.Oh sorry. I didn't mean to point out your temper tantrum.
mrurcNov 1, 2007
Don't worry about getting dugg down. It's not like they read the article past the part that says "maybe you screw up too!"
mrurcNov 1, 2007
You have reached the digg "explaining women to men" help line. We have overlooked your problem and have come up with several solutions. The recommended solution is as follows:Your wife feels that the cleanliness of the house is an indication of her value as a person. While she thinks that she can get away with it when it is family, letting others see her untidiness would be exposing her worthlessness to people outsiders. She probably has low self-esteem, which causes her to be overly concerned with appearances, aka they way that she looks to strangers as opposed to her family and friends. This concern with appearances is why she does not insist on the house being spotless when there are no visitors coming. DO NOT give her a hard time about this or otherwise imply that she is crazy. Go along with it. But tell her things that will help her feel better about herself, both during the cleaning and at other random times. Here are some suggestions:"I know that this is important to you and you are important to me, so I will be happy to help.""You are so wonderful that when the cable guy comes, he will be too distracted by you to notice that spot.""Would you like me to help you keep this clean all the time so we don't have to do a mad cleaning job when someone is coming over?""You are such a good [insert task]er! I could really learn a thing or two from you.""My friends are so jealous that I found you! And frankly, if they aren't, they're stupid. You're the best!"Eventually, you should be able to move up to:"I know! Instead of cleaning the [insert room name], let's close the door to it and distract him with cookies! Ohhhh, we are so naughty."This should provide long term acceptance that she is ok even if the house is not spotless.Alternately, hire a maid to clean at a regular interval, for instance once a week or once every two weeks, so you only have to pick up in between visits.
Closed AccountNov 4, 2007
seriously just shut up I am now dumber because of you