esquire.com— Because you may spend the entire spring and summer looking for a favorite new brew, but some experiments are better left to plant watering than human imbibing. We asked a beer columnist for the swill that's best avoided.
May 17, 2010View in Crawl 4
Just because someone decided to put cranberry juice (or is it syrup?) into the mix, doesn't mean its a lambic.You need the proper ingredients and brewing temperature for that. There is definitely a trick to it that commercial breweries outside of Belgium don't seem to understand.
Wortst beer ever, Hulls beer of New Haven Ct. Especially the draft.You could smell it from 20 feet away. It was made from the water ofthe Quinnipiac River. Would rather drink Old Milwaukee.
For some really, really popular high %ABV craft-brews check out Samuel Adams "Imperial" series (most are @10%+ ABV; like the "Imperial White" @ ~10.3% ABV) and the Dogfish Head (DFH) 90-minute IPA & 120-minute IPA (9% and 18% respectively). Also DFH's World Wide Stout (WWS), which is also @~18% ABV.And I recommend the Dogfish Head brews over the Boston Beer Co. (Sam Adams) beers any day. The DFH beers are going to be a little harder to find but just visit their website and locate a store near you.These actually taste great, too. If you're not a picky person and are willing to try new things and like good (yet hoppy) beers, not these s**tty ass 'high gravity lagers' (aka redneck pisswater with a splash of alcohol and malt/barley in it), designed for poor college students and frat parties... or less fortunate alcoholic rednecks.Just as a warning: if you're not used to the bitterness of hoppy beers, do not waste your $$$ and get the 90/120-minute IPAs or the WWS. It'll feel like drinking a damned porcupine to a newcomer to IPA's. I'm a "hop-head" so that's what I like: f**king pins and needles in my throat with that great citrusy/piney taste and different varieties of hops/malts that add complexities to the brew.DFH and Sierra Nevada (SN) did a collaboration called "Life & Limb" that's a strong ale (@10.2% ABV) for those that don't like the "hoppy-ness" of India Pale Ale's (IPA's). It's great, but really hard to find as beer connoisseurs grabbed all they could when they came out. Plus they age well so some people are cellaring them for later.If you're new to IPA's or craft/micro brews and want to try a mild but great IPA: start off with Sierra Nevada's "Pale Ale". It's very popular, cheap (not Bud Light dirt cheap, think $6-$7 a six-pack at most decent liquor stores), and mild enough for someone to switch from redneck pisswater (Bud Light, Budweiser, Miller, Coors, etc, etc, etc) to classier and more complex/tastier beer. Then if you like the SN Pale Ale take the next step up and grab their "Torpedo Extra IPA" (@ 7.2% ABV); it's a step up on the IBU (Int'l Bitterness Units) scale but still mild.My current "go-to" brews (aka decent price around ~$8 a six-pack, great mouthfeel, taste, aroma, etc) is "Hop Box" (a DIPA [Double/Imperial IPA for you craft-beer newcomers] @ 8% ABV, ~105 IBU, so bitter and great) by Joseph James Brewing. The other go-to is: "Presidential IPA" (American IPA @ ~7.3% ABV, ~57 IBU so very mild to me) by my home/current state's best brewery: Diamond Bear Brewery in Little Rock, Arkansas. My "bomber" (the 22-oz single bottles that run anywhere from $2-$15+ a bottle) of choice right now is Lagunita's "Hop Stoopid" (DIPA @ 8% ABV, ~100 IBU, so yes its bitter but great just like the "Hop Box" I aforementioned) or Bear Republic Brewing's "Hop Rod Rye" (American IPA @ 8% ABV, ~80 IBU, so less bitter but more "spicy" because of the rye malt).Support LOCAL and CRAFT/MICRO BREWERIES.f**k MACRO/BIG NAME (Anheuser-Busch, Miller, etc) breweries as they are ruining the art of brewing.The only macro brewery I will support is Coors as they make a decent (sub-par, actually, if compared to micro/craft brews) beer line with the word "Moon" in it. They have most popular "Blue Moon" (a wheat beer, aka Witbier) but also seasonals like "Harvest Moon" (Pumpkin Ale, for Oktoberfest), "Pale Moon" (Pale Ale), "Full Moon Winter Ale" (this one's a Dubbel), etc. They are bringing "craft" type brews to the public by mass advertising (TV and other outlets that micro-breweries can't really afford; or some just rely on word of mouth through beer connoisseurs)!Oh, and don't ruin your beer by mimicking the Coor's Blue Moon commercials by popping an orange in your beer. If you order a Blue Moon or a Corona at a restaurant and the waiter has already put the orange/lime/whatever in there, send it back and tell them that they ruined a beer.If you need to add lime/orange/whatever to your beer: it's because the beer sucks. If you like lime and s**t in your beers just stick to f**king hard liquor, hard cider, hard lemonade, Smirnoff Ice's, and other bitch/girly drinks because you're not ready to drink real (good) beer. Oh and good hard liquor (single malt scotches, whisk(e)ys, bourbon, fine dark/spiced rums, etc) should be served on the rocks (the liquor over ice cubes), "up"/"straight up" (chilled and then strained into some kinda glass) or with just a splash of water (don't do this with expensive liquors).My personal favorite and in my opinion the best way is called: "neat" or just "straight". Just the liquor in an old-fashioned glass (or lowball/rocks glass as some say, depending on your location) warmed by your hand. Sipped and enjoyed.Sorry for the f**king novel, but people need to be educated on liquor.Don't drink and drive, be smart, and most of all ENJOY your liquor. Don't drink s**tty beer/liquor/wine/whatever to get plastered, drink to enjoy the taste.
chileheadMay 18, 2010
Dunno why Budweiser isn't at the top of this list...
rrwestMay 19, 2010
Just because someone decided to put cranberry juice (or is it syrup?) into the mix, doesn't mean its a lambic.You need the proper ingredients and brewing temperature for that. There is definitely a trick to it that commercial breweries outside of Belgium don't seem to understand.
bwilkersonMay 19, 2010
I like the Chelada! :o(
Closed AccountMay 19, 2010
completely worth it.
bigacemilfordMay 22, 2010
Wortst beer ever, Hulls beer of New Haven Ct. Especially the draft.You could smell it from 20 feet away. It was made from the water ofthe Quinnipiac River. Would rather drink Old Milwaukee.
leeswagertyJun 9, 2010
For some really, really popular high %ABV craft-brews check out Samuel Adams "Imperial" series (most are @10%+ ABV; like the "Imperial White" @ ~10.3% ABV) and the Dogfish Head (DFH) 90-minute IPA & 120-minute IPA (9% and 18% respectively). Also DFH's World Wide Stout (WWS), which is also @~18% ABV.And I recommend the Dogfish Head brews over the Boston Beer Co. (Sam Adams) beers any day. The DFH beers are going to be a little harder to find but just visit their website and locate a store near you.These actually taste great, too. If you're not a picky person and are willing to try new things and like good (yet hoppy) beers, not these s**tty ass 'high gravity lagers' (aka redneck pisswater with a splash of alcohol and malt/barley in it), designed for poor college students and frat parties... or less fortunate alcoholic rednecks.Just as a warning: if you're not used to the bitterness of hoppy beers, do not waste your $$$ and get the 90/120-minute IPAs or the WWS. It'll feel like drinking a damned porcupine to a newcomer to IPA's. I'm a "hop-head" so that's what I like: f**king pins and needles in my throat with that great citrusy/piney taste and different varieties of hops/malts that add complexities to the brew.DFH and Sierra Nevada (SN) did a collaboration called "Life & Limb" that's a strong ale (@10.2% ABV) for those that don't like the "hoppy-ness" of India Pale Ale's (IPA's). It's great, but really hard to find as beer connoisseurs grabbed all they could when they came out. Plus they age well so some people are cellaring them for later.If you're new to IPA's or craft/micro brews and want to try a mild but great IPA: start off with Sierra Nevada's "Pale Ale". It's very popular, cheap (not Bud Light dirt cheap, think $6-$7 a six-pack at most decent liquor stores), and mild enough for someone to switch from redneck pisswater (Bud Light, Budweiser, Miller, Coors, etc, etc, etc) to classier and more complex/tastier beer. Then if you like the SN Pale Ale take the next step up and grab their "Torpedo Extra IPA" (@ 7.2% ABV); it's a step up on the IBU (Int'l Bitterness Units) scale but still mild.My current "go-to" brews (aka decent price around ~$8 a six-pack, great mouthfeel, taste, aroma, etc) is "Hop Box" (a DIPA [Double/Imperial IPA for you craft-beer newcomers] @ 8% ABV, ~105 IBU, so bitter and great) by Joseph James Brewing. The other go-to is: "Presidential IPA" (American IPA @ ~7.3% ABV, ~57 IBU so very mild to me) by my home/current state's best brewery: Diamond Bear Brewery in Little Rock, Arkansas. My "bomber" (the 22-oz single bottles that run anywhere from $2-$15+ a bottle) of choice right now is Lagunita's "Hop Stoopid" (DIPA @ 8% ABV, ~100 IBU, so yes its bitter but great just like the "Hop Box" I aforementioned) or Bear Republic Brewing's "Hop Rod Rye" (American IPA @ 8% ABV, ~80 IBU, so less bitter but more "spicy" because of the rye malt).Support LOCAL and CRAFT/MICRO BREWERIES.f**k MACRO/BIG NAME (Anheuser-Busch, Miller, etc) breweries as they are ruining the art of brewing.The only macro brewery I will support is Coors as they make a decent (sub-par, actually, if compared to micro/craft brews) beer line with the word "Moon" in it. They have most popular "Blue Moon" (a wheat beer, aka Witbier) but also seasonals like "Harvest Moon" (Pumpkin Ale, for Oktoberfest), "Pale Moon" (Pale Ale), "Full Moon Winter Ale" (this one's a Dubbel), etc. They are bringing "craft" type brews to the public by mass advertising (TV and other outlets that micro-breweries can't really afford; or some just rely on word of mouth through beer connoisseurs)!Oh, and don't ruin your beer by mimicking the Coor's Blue Moon commercials by popping an orange in your beer. If you order a Blue Moon or a Corona at a restaurant and the waiter has already put the orange/lime/whatever in there, send it back and tell them that they ruined a beer.If you need to add lime/orange/whatever to your beer: it's because the beer sucks. If you like lime and s**t in your beers just stick to f**king hard liquor, hard cider, hard lemonade, Smirnoff Ice's, and other bitch/girly drinks because you're not ready to drink real (good) beer. Oh and good hard liquor (single malt scotches, whisk(e)ys, bourbon, fine dark/spiced rums, etc) should be served on the rocks (the liquor over ice cubes), "up"/"straight up" (chilled and then strained into some kinda glass) or with just a splash of water (don't do this with expensive liquors).My personal favorite and in my opinion the best way is called: "neat" or just "straight". Just the liquor in an old-fashioned glass (or lowball/rocks glass as some say, depending on your location) warmed by your hand. Sipped and enjoyed.Sorry for the f**king novel, but people need to be educated on liquor.Don't drink and drive, be smart, and most of all ENJOY your liquor. Don't drink s**tty beer/liquor/wine/whatever to get plastered, drink to enjoy the taste.