theonion.com — After emerging victorious from one of the most pivotal elections in history, president-elect Barack Obama will assume the role of commander in chief on Jan. 20, shattering a racial barrier the United States is, at long last, s**tty enough to overcome.
Nov 5, 2008 View in Crawl 4
ariastarNov 5, 2008
Even though it's a satirical site, the writers behind it are probably so relieved and, hell, this one really wrote itself. What's happened is so over-the-top that it seem unreal. Any other time and this would have been funny because it wouldn't seem real.
speedsteamboatNov 6, 2008
"The budget was balanced for the future, not under Clinton."Except the budget was balanced under Clinton. Google the word "surplus."It's not his fault G.W. f**ked it up worse than any president in history.The idea that $10 trillion and $13 trillion aren't both completely ludicrous amounts that we can't afford is funny. You correct him as if it's relevant that it's one unsustainable, previously unimaginable number rather than the other.
Closed AccountNov 6, 2008
I guess I've known too many clinton fans.
xxdeathxxstarxxNov 6, 2008
Yeah, and it killed Polk. Lesson learned: If you want to live into retirement, save some agendas for the second term.
Closed AccountNov 6, 2008
OAMA- FAR MORE WHITE THAN BLACK.. GET OVER IT!
bobcat7407Nov 6, 2008
The surplus never happened. Clinton got the "surplus" by taking money from the intra-governmental holdings to pay off public holdings and then claimed the money that the public holdings went down was a "surplus". Why do you think the national debt never went down? Clinton projected a budget, but things changed with 9/11. A projected budget doesn't mean anything. Both are ridiculous amounts and it is sad that we are in so much debt, I was just pointing out that it's less than he said.
mrgreengenesNov 6, 2008
What does McCain have to do with someone bashing Obama? Just because McCain is a dumbass doesn't in any way make Obama correct and to insinuate that in your post is pure fallacy. You can't counter a criticism about Obama's campaign with "Oh well McCain's was worse"."I rest my case with the three of you."You had no idea what the hell I was even arguing.
Closed AccountNov 6, 2008
Communists are basically mindless fools who believe the federal government would do better as business owners than private citizens. We have yet to see if Obama will follow that model, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.
mnoeNov 6, 2008
Spudster, you only have to read the comments of salomejones just a bit below yours to have the perfect illustration of the Onion's last line.
mnoeNov 6, 2008
Thank you, izolutionzizolutionz -- Remember, those were very *close* elections? That's 'cause a lot of us can think well enough to vote in our own best interest, and against THAT DICK! But we're called "eggheads" to this day, and mocked for not wanting to go out for a beer, or "go shopping" after 9/11, with THAT DICK!
bartboy919Nov 7, 2008
"Under Bush, we can all look forward to military aggression, deregulation of dangerous, greedy industries, and the defunding of vital domestic social-service programs upon which millions depend. Mercifully, we can now say goodbye to the awful nightmare that was Clinton's America.""After eight years of relatively sane fiscal policy under the Democrats, we have reached a point where, just a few weeks ago, President Clinton said that the national debt could be paid off by as early as 2012," Rahway, NJ, machinist and father of three Bud Crandall said. "That's not the kind of world I want my children to grow up in." I am crying on the inside.
bobcat7407Nov 7, 2008
Haha, very true. I'd love to find a politician that isn't full of it, but they probably wouldn't be a politician then. He did do some things, but it wasn't enough obviously. I just don't appreciate it when someone makes an incorrect statement and then accuses me of spinning history. I'm sure you can understand that.