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Eating The Road
3963 Followers
Stacey Cavanagh
8 Followers
Josh Q. Public
215 Followers
G and D Nesh
331 Followers
Josh Lieberman
1 Followers
Martin Mystère
1560 Followers
eastwood24Jun 29, 2010
I use to have to shave my Persian cat cause I was too awesome to properly comb it everyday.
coolsilverJun 30, 2010
The picture was to shave the pussy.
ebcreasonerJun 30, 2010
Loop: See trap.
Trap: See loop.
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
I had a red one, made it look like a lion, I thought it was awesome, my gf not so much.
morbendkJun 30, 2010
I did that as well.
on a side note-- instead of shaving the cat, just get pants that are the same color as the cat-- then no one will ever notice
kiiwiiJun 30, 2010
I did that once, but then people made fun of me for wearing calico pants :-(
bpshiraseJun 30, 2010
too much work, I sprayed mine with Nair and let him roll around in the grass.
yourekinkyJun 30, 2010
*used.
porkfriedriceJun 29, 2010
woah what dont hit the cat with a tampon
monkeynachoJun 30, 2010
Seriously. How does that help your pants situation?
mclennon93Jun 30, 2010
i saw this comment before i opened the article and got very excited to read it
diggscrapJun 29, 2010
I'm awesome?
trx131Jun 30, 2010
I talk to myself on my Facebook wall, mutha f**ka I'm awesome.
b1kerguyJun 30, 2010
can't it be both?
jo9100Jul 2, 2010
No you're not dude, don't lie...
hampsterstyleJun 30, 2010
Hmm, what does A, A, B, B, B, B mean?
muffinmonkJun 30, 2010
That your mom is retarded.
nard3456Jun 30, 2010
Jeez... why so hostile?
muffinmonkJun 30, 2010
Tough love.
giantbirdcrapJul 1, 2010
Why bring his mother into this! Can't you see she is busy...
benroyJun 30, 2010
It means that you're dyslexic and can't spell ABBA. You silly dancing queen, you.
kaegroJun 30, 2010
Win.
richisboredJun 30, 2010
That you didn't get 30 lives.
kaegroJun 30, 2010
You also win.
timmyftwJun 30, 2010
Means you f**ked up the blood code for Mortal Kombat II.
longbow486Jul 11, 2010
you have a studdder Jimmy
poland626Jun 30, 2010
EXTREME!!!
smackythefrog00Jun 30, 2010
That guy at the urinal is totally me in every public restroom. But I totally wash my hands regardless.
mrcoldcowJun 30, 2010
Totally
jabbrwockeyJun 30, 2010
Like, yeah.... you know.
madridJun 30, 2010
Totally, totally. Also: Totally.
smackythefrog00Jun 30, 2010
I get it.. I said "totally" two too many times. Forgive me.
johninmtJun 30, 2010
You totally did......
romantictireJun 30, 2010
1.Never flush a urinal
2.Never s**t in public restrooms
root94Jun 30, 2010
Never flush? So you're the bane of my existence.
thecoffeeJun 30, 2010
That is actually sage advice. Toilets shoot germs 10 feet into the air every time they flush. In fact, a small portion of the germs in your mouth come from flushing the toilet with the lid up. The germs you see, tend to land on people's toothbrushes.
murrdpirateJun 30, 2010
@theCoffee
That's interesting, but still, you're kinda f**king everyone else over. Maybe try flushing and running.
thecoffeeJun 30, 2010
Oh I flush anyways. Save the non-flushing for the germaphobes.
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
@theCoffee Normally I don't flush with my mouth open over the bowl...
thecoffeeJun 30, 2010
Did you even read what I wrote? I don't think you even know how germs work.
oboshoeJun 30, 2010
add in
Never touch escalator handrails.
you ever see those being cleaned?
cglassJun 30, 2010
I hold a small child in front of me while I flush.
shaqtasticJun 30, 2010
3.Sound like a little bitch.
4.Raise your kids to have weak immune systems because you have some kind of cleanliness OCD.
cloudberriesJun 30, 2010
5. Try to avoid licking tramps
6. If you really must lick tramps, make sure they're reasonably clean
drcyclopsJun 30, 2010
Good thing I have an immune system so I don't have to obsess over s**t like this.
ge64Jun 30, 2010
@oboshoe, try going to Hong Kong during swine flu. they hire people to stand by the escalator and clean the handrails every time someone goes up (or down) it.
theobviouschildJun 30, 2010
Didn't MythBusters bust the whole germs-on-toothbrush thing?
vaticanslayerJun 30, 2010
What do you all do when you encounter a door handle, am I the only one who uses a long sleeve or a sweater to grip the handle? f**k I feel gay.
damian001Jun 30, 2010
I never understood the whole "germs on toothbrushes" myth. Because I always close the lid when I flush the toilet. Isn't that what it's for? :)
akazabamJun 30, 2010
Meanwhile, you're all typing on keyboards that probably have just as many germs on them...
volacideJun 30, 2010
Hahah Ignorance is bliss, Akazabam.
I've always been the person that never got all crazy about germs and I've found that in general I get sick about once a year where as the rest of my family gets sick much more frequently. One thing that I can't escape from however is allergies once a year.
anothersoldierJun 30, 2010
Just don't shower. You'll develop a thick oily mebrane like skin that protects you from germs.
bcarl314Jun 30, 2010
See, I have this thing called an "immune system". It works by protecting my body against germs. Amazing really. It helps me keep my sanity when others have totally lost it.
smackythefrog00Jun 30, 2010
I also lift the seat up with my shoe as well. Call me a "germophobe" but I don't want this AIDS s**t these kids are running around with these days.
captzomborgJun 30, 2010
Why would you need to lift the seat up unless you're in your own home?
anothersoldierJun 30, 2010
urinals have seats?
kingofnexusJun 30, 2010
@CaptZomborg It's called polite practise when using public facilities. When all the urinals are full, and you must use a toilet, you should treat the public facilities like your own home and lift the seat. Maybe you should start to think about other people who happen to live on this planet next time you use a public toilet.
hurricanedcJun 30, 2010
@kingofnexus I always smear my s**t on the toilet seat so I can claim it as my own.
glitch82Jul 1, 2010
Oh my god, that really made me chortle.
dafragstaJun 30, 2010
That's either the most sanitary way to flush a urinal or the most dangerous way to see if the floor is wet.
ge64Jun 30, 2010
i lold
adokimusJun 30, 2010
Not very sanitary for the next guy who uses his hands...
captzomborgJun 30, 2010
@adokimus, well he should use his foot like a real man.
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
It's also a good meter to see how drunk you are.
harmorJun 30, 2010
If you can make it to the urinal then you're not drunk enough.
formerbabbyJun 30, 2010
Digg needs a best of comment section.
harmorJun 30, 2010
Only if there was a feature to sort comments by most diggs.
fluiquidJun 30, 2010
I thought I was the only one who did that :P
smackythefrog00Jun 30, 2010
Alright, I said "totally" two too many times. Forgive me.
merrebornJun 30, 2010
Yeah, you really don't wanna touch the handles on urinals.
What with people touching them with their filthy-ass shoes all the time.
darthmaul4114Jun 30, 2010
yea the only reason the handles are so dirty is because assh**es flush with their dirty piss shoes. if everyone just used their hands it should be fine.
porkdanishJun 30, 2010
Wash penis after urinal.
I don't know where those hands have been!
bluecollarzaJun 30, 2010
lol, I thought the one pic showed the guy pissing in the basin. Was like, WTF?
ko0k13Jun 30, 2010
They should just design a toilet with a button on the floor that you just step on. But then again the sensor ones are just fine.
herculesJun 30, 2010
I wash my hands before I touch my junk.
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
I was taught not to piss on my hands.
bwisheyJun 30, 2010
Dugg for the urinal.
dvsbastardJun 30, 2010
I kick to flush and I wash... Hygienic or Obsessive compulsive?!
stancar200Jun 30, 2010
just awesome
coolsilverJun 30, 2010
Do you shut off the water and open the restroom door with a paper towel? or too lazy and get the hand sanitizer back at the desk?
ge64Jun 30, 2010
There's no point washing your hands anyway if you're going to close the tap, the one you and everyone else just opened with your dirty hands, with your clean hands.
s0nicfreakJun 30, 2010
Some places have automatic taps.
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
I like to think that soap residue on my hands will continue to kill some germs.
But then again, I really don't care either way. I'm incredibly inconsistent when it comes to germs.
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
I wash the handle with soap before i wash my hands,
mrquackerJun 30, 2010
I kick to flush, but only wash my hands if there is someone else in the mens room.
densetsu23Jun 30, 2010
Washing your hands: Hygienic.
Kicking to flush: Obsessive-Compulsive.
saiyanzJun 30, 2010
I say awesomely hygienic we need more people like you
davidlickJun 30, 2010
I do the same my friend... Kicking and washing is the way to go.
spydermannJun 30, 2010
Yeah, the problem is that you unknowingly affect the general public. See, if someone doesn't wash his hands after flushing the urinal (which is bad enough), imagine that mixed with the bacteria that lived under your shoe.
Anyway, this is why I'm all for the idea of urinals having flush pedals. Same for the water taps. I went to a restaurant the other day with such mechanisms and it was awesome... until I realized the restrooms door opened inwards. (Idiots)
denjinjaegerJun 30, 2010
Shoe bacteria? I'd drag my hand along a block of sidewalk before I'd fondle the dicks of strangers, lol
anothersoldierJun 30, 2010
Urinals with flush pedals? What are people without legs and feet supposed to do??
iloovecaoJun 30, 2010
^ Not use urinals?
mindfeckJun 30, 2010
In technologically advanced places, toilets and urinals have motion sensors so they flush themselves.
boltonwanderersJun 30, 2010
I kick flush because I wash my hands beforehand.
americangunnerJun 30, 2010
kick flush its all in the mind.
drivebayJun 30, 2010
If you wanna test me, I'm sure you'll find
The things I'll teach ya, is sure to beat ya
But nevertheless you'll get a lesson from teacha!
Now Kick! Flush! Chop - Block!
denjinjaegerJun 30, 2010
No. It's not one or the other. If someone shakes my hand and I realize they took a leak without washing, I will sock them in the spleen.
warlok480Jun 30, 2010
"kick-flush?" you all must be very limber...I use either my shoulder or my bicep.
porkdanishJun 30, 2010
I kick flush and then wash my shoe.
unclefireJun 30, 2010
Kick to flush is douche-bag. You're talking your dirty ass shoe and making the handle even worse given other douches can't always aim right.
Just wash your friggin' hands after you're done and don't be such a puss
chcor70Jun 30, 2010
the "you may also like in the lower left hand corner" escalator joke is stolen from the godfather mitch hedberg......rip alll righttt
tehubergeekJun 30, 2010
What's with the bacon on the floor?
ngiffJun 30, 2010
Ask the creator- I know him and he is awesome:
http://nathanwpyle.blogspot.com/
[not that you need a reason for bacon]
thisismissJun 30, 2010
he got some on his shoulder too
ousthouseJun 30, 2010
The true lazy person wouldn't flush at all, especially at a public urinal.
coolguyslimJun 30, 2010
There's a guy at my work who never flushes, gets on my nerve!
ebcreasonerJun 30, 2010
Last one, huh?
coolsilverJun 30, 2010
Not everyone has a urinal in the house... though after a week your wife would love the seat being always down and not wet with piss.
sutherbjJun 30, 2010
Damnit, I hate coming across articles that I know are going to do well on the front page with like only 5 comments in, then panic while trying to come up with something clever. f**king always happens.
jman491Jun 30, 2010
Then you see a comment with a healthy amount of Diggs and you think, "Maybe I can say something witty and piggy-back off of their success," but rarely do you ever approach their level of success in acquiring upvotes.
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
Story of my life
slashdotordiggJun 30, 2010
I have been digging all they and i do not hesitate to reply to a reply. Does anybody ever read comments this deep down? Oh heck it. i just wanna say whatever i want to say. i gotta get this out of me. Also, i agree with the commenter above and the digg the parent up for things he wrote. What he said was pure genius!!
maverick4242Jun 30, 2010
c'mon people, let's dig this! break the paradigm!
drivebayJun 30, 2010
Paradigm shift! Cerberus!
liljerkJun 30, 2010
DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU f**k A STRANGER IN THE ASS??!!?!
/caps
gdj11Jun 30, 2010
good thing you ended the caps or else all the comments below would be in caps
murrdpirateJun 30, 2010
Sometimes, in pure desperation, I submit something of questionable cleverness and edit it later. Nothing gets your heart pumping like having a five minute timer when trying to think of something clever.
redux09Jun 30, 2010
I'm trying to think of a clever reply to your failed clever reply, but I'm drawing blanks. I'll just leave this here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWw5YdW57EsComment is buried, click here to see the rest.
murrdpirateJun 30, 2010
Don't think that you're being clever by calling my reply attempted cleverness. Everyone is already aware of the irony in being clever when talking about not being clever. Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
wigen1jtJun 30, 2010
I went through all three of those stages and ended up with this.
krymsonJun 30, 2010
you sir, know how to live on the edge.
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
atarioJun 30, 2010
This is a rare burst of earnest meta for Digg. I'm surprised, you guys don't normally go in for this sort of thing.
Now, shall we talk about how annoying it is to have to invent kludges to get around the reply-depth limitation? Because that totally sucks.
x9002Jun 30, 2010
I have the same problem too sometimes. Then I remember that it is the internet and it amounts to nothing in the end. I still enjoy the rush though.
lukas1051Jun 30, 2010
Did it with an Oatmeal post once. It was so worth it, over 1000 diggs I think. Still reckon I could've done better were I not pushed for time.
kiiwiiJun 30, 2010
These are the moments we'll be telling our grandchildren about.
::sigh::
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
I HOPE YOU'RE F**KING HAPPY THAT YOU HAVE 300+ DIGGS FOR THAT S**T
thehuntofdearJun 30, 2010
WHY ARE WE YELLING!
gdj11Jun 30, 2010
EVERYBODY JUST PLEASE STOP YELLING
b1kerguyJun 30, 2010
/caps
stormtrooprJun 30, 2010
thanks for ending the madness.
stormtrooprJun 30, 2010
OH f**k, SORRY. /caps
longbow486Jul 11, 2010
Is this angry yelling or busted hearing aid yelling?
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
I was going to write a witty reply to your comment (something along the lines of how Diggers are all people-pleasers and how I feel pressure to write a good comment that will get a lot of Diggs) but I realized that it's going to be so deep in the thread that nobody is going to read it anyway so I decided to not write it.
But then I ended up writing this anyway...
brettersonxJun 30, 2010
I once had 300+ diggs with a Chuck Norris Joke. It was both a highlight and point of depression in my life.
drdicknipsJun 30, 2010
Congratulations! You win apparently.
sawanmJul 3, 2010
I got 600+ diggs for an Office Space quote of Milton getting his stapler taken away.
bulk70Jul 4, 2010
My career highlight is only 370.. I need to try harder.
coachmcguirkJun 30, 2010
Good news, guys!
I'm awesome!!
chiddlerJun 30, 2010
This account has been closed by the user
voideJun 30, 2010
I'm guilty of the middle 2....the other 4 are just retarded.
gridbreadJun 30, 2010
I flush with my shoe, use the paper towel to open the door after washing my hands, if I can't just kick it open.
skid666Jun 30, 2010
I used to kick bathroom doors till i plowed some kid felt bad so i stick to just using towels to open the doors
maynardjkJun 30, 2010
I kick the door open hoping there is a kid on the other side.
anothersoldierJun 30, 2010
BAM High kick to open the door, spinning trip kick to take down germ-infested bathroom goers, jumping scissor kick to enter the stall, WOOSH uppercut the toiler lid
pee
...
pee
....
BAM kickflush, BAM roundhouse kick the door & swan dive out of the stall to avoid splashing toilet matter
BAM dropkick the door, and proceed to barrel roll out of the washroom. dust yourself off and pretend you tripped, smiling and nodding at the onlookers.
coolsilverJun 30, 2010
+1
vaticanslayerJun 30, 2010
Has anyone else tried kicking the door while someone is opening it, and you pretty much fly in with a kick and a WTF face?
xenowJun 30, 2010
When you go to a restroom that requires you to open the door with your hand, do you wash your hand prior to doing your business?
Do you ever think about how many germs get on your junk as a result?
skyebekaJun 30, 2010
I wash before, during and after. And sometimes in between.
johninmtJun 30, 2010
Great...now that I've read this I'm going to have to start washing my junk in the sink after using the public bathroom.
atroaciousJun 30, 2010
I do three of them, but none because I am lazy.
thecoffeeJun 30, 2010
Or you could be using it because you broke your leg... but yes I am a fatass. :P
saranagatiJun 30, 2010
i'm no where near fat but if i had a stick grabber i would definitely use it. once i'm in bed i will do everything possible not to have to get out of bed.
kyotowolfJun 30, 2010
"If you use a stick grabber thing to grab stuff , god bless your soul because your a fat ass. "
f**k you, article says I'm awesome.
atroaciousJun 30, 2010
KyotoWolf you also a badass =)
masterspeeksJun 30, 2010
I take feral stray cats to pet groomers and tell them it needs to be shaved because I have allergies. Then I never come back.
bracomadarJun 30, 2010
I wear lace up shoes, but just keep them laced up and shove my feet into them. Velcro shoes just make you look like you have special needs.
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
I bought elastic-sided boots to avoid both.
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
No, elastic-sided boots make you look like you have special needs.
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
I do. I have a special need to get dressed for work quickly in the mornings.
jwalkinJun 30, 2010
Check out Blundstone boots. They cost ~160 up front, but fit well, slip on easy, fit comfortably, look good, and last for years. I've heard of people using a single pair for ten years.
atarioJun 30, 2010
You want lazy? My slovenly-on-the-weekend shoes are velcro sneakers that I leave strapped shut just enough to be able to shove my feet into them.
I wish I was kidding. My wife made me get them because she thought they seemed "cleaner" than the kind with laces.
Oh well, I make up for it by having boots I wear for daily going-out-and-looking-respectable that have lots of laces to mess with.
spookyttwsJun 30, 2010
I DO have special needs, if you know what I mean....
hagiasoJun 30, 2010
You are mentally retarded?
drheadJun 30, 2010
Nothing special needs about these. http://www.shop.puma.com/Versa-Climb-Shoes/pna884629284382,en,pd.html?cgid=23000
thisismissJun 30, 2010
i say just wear flip flops.
dc7407Jun 30, 2010
No man, you just wear sandals and people don't even expect your laz-I mean so awesome. It works great here in San Diego, but when I lived in Oregon people looked at me funny.
(it rains a lot in Oregon)
darkofdayJun 30, 2010
Shaving a cat is f**king difficult. I dare you to try and not get scratched.
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
Sounds like you have past experience. Go on, do tell...
darkofdayJun 30, 2010
Oh god, the horror... it's too painful to think about, I'm sorry.
saranagatiJun 30, 2010
that's why you first need to de-paw the cat.
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
How the heck do you de=paw a cat? Hatchet, machete, circular saw?
wildgilbertJun 30, 2010
Angle grinder!!
shiftyeyedgoatJun 30, 2010
Combine harvester.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20100625/wl_uk_afp/britainhealthcat
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
enraged termites, rabid monkeys, hydrochloric acid
diskmaster23Jun 30, 2010
You should have just gotten a sedative from your vet.
jabbrwockeyJun 30, 2010
The problem is you have a cat, when you should obviously have gotten a do-*SLAP* ow internet, leave me alone.
lemonchickenJun 30, 2010
There's more than one way to shave a cat.
jparkinsonJun 30, 2010
... my cat liked it
bartledooJun 30, 2010
Damn right it is! I've got scars on my chest from the last time I tried to shave a cat.
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
One word: chloroform.
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
I've apparently had some really awesome roommates.
schwab002Jun 30, 2010
I really can't imagine shaving a cat is easier than using a lint brush.
goldyoshiJun 30, 2010
Lint Brush on cat = win!
harmorJun 30, 2010
Nair on cat = easier win
anothersoldierJun 30, 2010
It's not, but it's definetley more awesome.
b1kerguyJun 30, 2010
I found the easiest solution... don't get a cat
tropospherikJun 30, 2010
This is the best xkcd ever!
benroyJun 30, 2010
shut up.
chiddlerJun 30, 2010
This account has been closed by the user
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
Buried for saying trendy.
drsnugglebunnyJun 30, 2010
I'm not too awesome to digg this.
benroyJun 30, 2010
Hey, I'm not lazy. I'm just uh...a little, no...wait, I'm.....aw f**k it.
kyproniteJun 30, 2010
the last panel, i dont get it...
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
It is:
I will climb down and pick up that pilllow.
v
I will get into bed and use my telescopic grabber to pick up that pillow.
longbow486Jul 11, 2010
I wish I had extend-o-matic arms
nepidaeJun 30, 2010
too lazy to digg
tabakoJun 30, 2010
Dugg for the milk gallon chug, from me and every other lazy college student.
yacksJun 30, 2010
well when I was younger.. I'd chug the milk myself.. but it never lasted a day anyways..
b1kerguyJun 30, 2010
my milk has been past the date for about 2 weeks now, am i awesome?
lethargicmonkeyJun 30, 2010
velcro shoes are not and never will be awesome.
tyrghastJun 30, 2010
I have laces on my shoes but i can't remember the last time i tied them. I just squeeze in and out.
wildgilbertJun 30, 2010
I like my shoes like I like my women; tight so I have to squeeze in.
b1kerguyJun 30, 2010
-think of it like a parking space, you look at it and go "man, theres no way im fitting in there" but you fold in the side mirrors and somehow make it fit
-well if that's the case, i'de think it better to be the parking space than the car
-yeah, that's what i've figured
mrquackerJun 30, 2010
Work smarter, not harder.
I aint lazy, just efficient.
barf314Jun 30, 2010
Laziness is the mother of efficiency.
thelock65Jun 30, 2010
It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation? And here's something else, Bob: I have eight different bosses right now.
bobbi21Jun 30, 2010
"You don't understand anything!"
"Oh lisa, just because I don't care doesn't mean I dont understand"
nick027Jun 30, 2010
People who don't drink out of the jug probably have someone else who does the dishes.
kaegroJun 30, 2010
Agreed.
With that said, I drink from the jug and my wife does her own damn dishes.
s0nicfreakJun 30, 2010
Why doesn't she do yours?
solkreJun 30, 2010
Because he's actually the wife.
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
Or they don't have dishes.
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
Women needs to shave their pussy.
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
This account has been closed by the user
oboshoeJun 30, 2010
I don't touch the faucet either.
I pull a towel before I wash my hands and use that towel to turn off the faucet.
Then I use that towel to pull another towel which i used to dry my hands and open the door.
Its just automatic and I don't even think about it any more.
kenjuraJun 30, 2010
I have a f**king immune system.
oboshoeJun 30, 2010
congratulations.
Tell your doctor to never prescribe you anti-biotics for any reason whatever ever again.
saranagatiJun 30, 2010
i use my teeth to turn the faucet on/off to avoid getting germs on my hands.
jdoorjamJun 30, 2010
I also kick the faucet on and off.
kaegroJun 30, 2010
I agree with all but two:
The cat one : who f**king cares if my pants have cat fur on them.
The blow-dryer one : I shave my head so there's a lot less maintenance.
s0nicfreakJun 30, 2010
Everyone you go near who is allergic to cats.
diggamyteJun 30, 2010
Nine years ago I made a life goal of never wearing another pair of laced shoes. With the exception of tux shoes - twice - I've never broken it. I once let my dishes sit in the sink so long I had to throw them away and buy a complete new set (not proud of that one). At the age of seven I mastered the art of tossing virtually any object from the floor into the air with my feet and catching it. Two words: Clap On. I convinced my girlfriend I can only get off when I'm on the bottom. I pulled the mailbox out of my yard and attached it to my front door. This cartoon dude is a f**king over-achiever if you ask me.
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
I'm not convinced you have a girlfriend.
diskmaster23Jun 30, 2010
I am also convinced he doesn't have a g/f because you can't get off while she is on top.
saranagatiJun 30, 2010
sadly i can top that dishes one. one place i lived for a year i didn't wash the dishes the entire year i lived there, used them once and they sat in the sink the rest of the year. Had a bag of potatoes that i bought and stored in my cupboard not realizing after a while they turn to liquid. assh**e newspaper kept giving me free delivery even though i kept asking them to stop (the started delivering automatically for some promotion), i was too lazy to take them down to the dumpster so i basically had two couches in my place, one was the normal couch, the other (bigger) one was a couch made of newspapers.
pir80099Jun 30, 2010
wow you are disgusting.
b1kerguyJun 30, 2010
but notice nothing about a girlfriend, he's not lying here
plopfishJun 30, 2010
diggamyte is The Most Lazy Man in the World
crosshareJun 30, 2010
If we're not careful this is going to turn into a bachelor frog thread.
mikkramJun 30, 2010
DIRTY DISHES?
BLAST IT WITH PISS
paradiddler45Jun 30, 2010
This sounds like a Real Men of Genius commercial...
mnorton17Jun 30, 2010
I once stopped at a Wal-Mart on my way home to buy a new pack of underwear instead of washing the dirty ones I had at home.
mindfeckJun 30, 2010
I once lived in a Wal-Mart so I wouldn't have to bother to buy anything or take it to another place.
b1kerguyJun 30, 2010
did you have a baby in isle 7?
switchmulletJun 30, 2010
why would you flush a urinal?? it drains by itself anyway - down that drain-like thingy
its not like a normal toilet where it just sits there stagnatingComment is buried, click here to see the rest.
solkreJun 30, 2010
Not all urinals are the same.
voodoodonutJun 30, 2010
So you are the guy who makes the urinal smell like a Calcutta train station...
Ever hear of a P trap? It's not just because of the shape.
http://home.howstuffworks.com/home-improvement/repair/house14.htm
Whatever you don't force through the trap with water sits there smelling like Nick Nolte on a Sunday morning.
nard3456Jun 30, 2010
Left to right, top to bottom:
A - Velcro makes you look like a kid. You might as well have light up shoes.
A - I can't shave my cat; I'm not that mean.
A and B - God knows who or what has been on that urinal handle. Would you want to shake your hand after I touched my penis?
B - f**k doing dishes.
Neither - I'm a guy; it only takes me a few seconds to do my hair.
A - Because the grabber probably wouldn't reach.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
voodoodonutJun 30, 2010
You know how I know you don't get it?
redhouse67Jun 30, 2010
When I go to take a piss I never touch either my shaft or sack so I never find it necessary to wash my hands.
josephnguyenJun 30, 2010
That's too damn lazy.
saranagatiJun 30, 2010
how exactly do you manage to pull it out?
redhouse67Jul 1, 2010
you use your waist band to pry your dick out.
azzk1krJun 30, 2010
probably a girl...
locastusJun 30, 2010
I bet you sit down to take a piss
s0nicfreakJun 30, 2010
But you must wash your pants a lot.
xpinchxJun 30, 2010
You do realize that when you hold your penis to take a leak you're getting your dirty hands on your clean dick, right? Your hands are way dirtier than your private areas considering how often we touch a computer keyboard, our phones, door handles, etc. If anything we should wash our hands before we go to take a leak.
ysaulJun 30, 2010
I thought that was the proper way especially after cooking with chilies
sfhandymanJun 30, 2010
I foot flush, and pump out the paper towels before I wash my hands so I don't have to touch the towel dispenser with my clean hands. While I'm at it, I pump out more paper towels, and just leave them hanging there for whoever is next. Weird or awesome?
brandonelliottJun 30, 2010
you are the ghandi of the mens bathroom. but then again, i would question why there is extra hanging paper towel and possibly rip off the excess and get more thinking someone used it for some grotesque purpose.
suricouJun 30, 2010
The laziest thing I have ever done is VNCing into my desktop to turn it off while in bed, using my laptop.
The desktop is beside the bed. All I'd have to do to turn it off is to reach out, stretch a bit, and press the button. But the stretching... ugh. It's hard! Easier to just do it without moving anything other than my hands.
saranagatiJun 30, 2010
being in bed, its understandable though. sunday night i didn't want to stand up and walk 2 feet to my computer to move some movie into the correct directory and i didn't feel like leaning over the arm of the couch to grab my laptop so i pulled out my phone and vnc'd to my desktop.
suricouJun 30, 2010
If someone can just invent a safe neural interface implant, we will never have to exert the effort to move again.
thelock65Jun 30, 2010
Relevant Bed Laziness:
I bought one of those light bulb adapters for a lamp so that when you touch metal on the lamp, it turns the lamp off. Then I attached a coat hanger to the top of the lamp and ran it right over my head. That way, when it was time for the lamp to be off, all I had to do was reach up and touch the coat hanger, not reach ALL the way over to my bedside table to turn it off.
chaoskaizerJun 30, 2010
poor kitty
xsubJun 30, 2010
They forgot to show the one where you either reach for a tissue or skeet on your blanket.
mizuhriJun 30, 2010
Wal-Mart velcro shoes are awesome. You can get white, gray and black for a total of like 40 dollars. You can pull them off easily if you aren't fat, retarded or poor. No need to waste all that money on a brand name..
s0nicfreakJun 30, 2010
This is the one thing here I agree with. I take my shoes off in the house, and sometimes have to chase my kids in and out, so I don't want to have to waste time tying and untying. And wal-mart velcro shoes last forever without any upkeep, unlike laced shoes which you eventually have to buy new laces for. I once wore a pair of wal-mart velcro shoes for several years, until my mom got so annoyed by the old-looking shoes that she gave me money and told me to go buy new shoes with it. I bought more wal-mart velcro shoes.
Walmart kids' shoes are also great. They cost 5 -10 bucks. People who spend crazy amounts on adult shoes are crazy enough, but at least you can argue that they will wear them for years; I just can't, no matter how I look at it, understand the people who spend more than $10 on kids' shoes when there is no telling how quickly a kid will outgrow the shoes. You spend $50 on a pair of kids' shoes, then they may outgrow them in a week, and it's hard to find people who will buy used shoes. The type of people who want a $50 pair of kids's shoes certainly don't want to buy used shoes.
danxmasonJun 30, 2010
The laziest thing I do is pee into empty water bottles because I don't want to leave my computer
glitch82Jul 1, 2010
That is so not awesome.
pithynamerJun 30, 2010
Ain't nothing wrong with drying your hair out the car window.
It saves electricity, and you don't get sweaty.
jonhsJun 30, 2010
Americans don't take off their shoes inside (never understood why). You bring all the urinal filth with you home onto the rugg and sofa, and maybe even into bed. Wtf is up with that?
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
We don't want to see your weird foreigner feet.
locastusJun 30, 2010
Im British and I dont either, because our streets - like in the USA - arent covered in dog s**t and rubbish.
s0nicfreakJun 30, 2010
And you never step in the grass, which my have squirrel (are there squirrels there?) poop, etc.?
andyd273Jun 30, 2010
Now that you mention it, I've never seen squirrel poop... We have hundreds of them at the park near our house, and you never see any poop when you walk across the grass... weird.
And I take my shoes off in the house, and have never, ever warn them to bed. That's just wrong.
s0nicfreakJul 1, 2010
That's because it looks like what you think is dirt.
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
As an American, I always take my shoes off in MY house. If its someone else's house, its someone else's rules.
jabbrwockeyJun 30, 2010
That's because every street is being watched by big brother.
Closed AccountJun 30, 2010
It's not just dog s**t and other germs, it's also tiny other things like bits of bark and tiny pebbles, bits of soil, you get the picture. Plus it's much easier to relax if you aren't wearing shoes. It lets your feet breathe too.
b1kerguyJun 30, 2010
i live in the US and if you come in my house, you ARE taking off your shoes, i don't care who you are
this carpet was new when i moved in, and im NOT paying to fix it when i leave
jonhsJul 1, 2010
37 Reasons Why You Should Have a Shoes-Off Policy
1. Carpets are not easy to clean.
2. Carpets absorb dust and become breeding grounds for dust mites, causing the development of asthma and allergies.
3. If you do not have a carpet, the dust will not be absorbed and you are likely to breathe it in.
4. Shoes can leave marks on wood, PVC and marble floors.
5. Shoes can scratch wood flooring, especially if they have high heels.
6. Boots and high heeled shoes can cause wear and tear to carpets.
7. That goes for rugs as well.
8. Shoes pick up small particles of grit that cause wear and tear to carpets.
9. Shoes pick up traces of petrol fumes and industrial pollution.
10. Shoes can pick up pesticides, fertilizers and other chemicals.
11. Shoes pick up traces of animal excrement.
12. Ever noticed how much chewing gum there is stuck to the streets?
13. In a square mile, there are more insects than people on the planet. How many do you think you have squashed on your shoes?
14. If you have a crawling baby, do you want him or her to be exposed to the dirt from people's shoes?
15. In rain or snow, you are less likely to get the floor wet.
16. If you live near a beach, you will bring less sand into the house.
17. If you have a crawling baby, you will do less damage if you accidently step on him or her.
18. If you get mad and kick the cat or dog, you will do less damage (apologies to animal lovers).
19. If your children play rough, they will do less damage.
20. It creates a less formal atmosphere.
21. It creates a greater sense of relaxation.
22. Your guests will become more like you by removing their shoes and will feel part of the family.
23. An Asian, Scandinavian or East European visitor will feel more at home.
24. It teaches children the importance of respecting and looking after things.
25. Psychologically, removing your shoes helps you to enter a frame of mind where you keep your everyday troubles outside your home.
26. It is more comfortable.
27. It is healthier for you feet to take your shoes off during the day.
28. Small children with growing feet should wear shoes only to the minimum.
29. If you wear high-heeled shoes, your feet badly need a break.
30. You can put your feet up on the sofa without taking your shoes off first (Dont tell me you put your feet on the sofa with shoes on?).
31. You can put your feet up on the coffee table without taking your shoes off first.
32. If you ever visit Japan, it will seem less weird.
33. If you are ever arrested and they confiscate your shoes, along with your belt and jewellery, it will seem less weird.
34. Your feet smell less if you do not wear shoes all day.
35. When you lovingly chastise your children, you will have a slipper to hand.
36. It was a Biblical custom (come on, did they wash their feet with shoes on?)
37. Do you really think the Saints in Glory are going to trample the sparkling, clean New Jerusalem with shoes on?
Source: http://shoesoffatthedoorplease.blogspot.com/
Reasons to keep shoes on inside:
1. You're too lazy to take them off, it takes 2 seconds ffs.
2. You love filth.
moonajuanaJun 30, 2010
Haha, I'm about to leave my house and before checking this out planned on doing the "hair dryer" method B.
dtmike07Jun 30, 2010
Flush with your elbow at a urinal...way less effort.
surfergirlscJun 30, 2010
Then your elbow would be icky with man penis.
denjinjaegerJun 30, 2010
You're right - I could get pinkeye if I rubbed my eye with my elbow after that! :p
dtmike07Jul 1, 2010
As opposed to icky with woman penis?
langcastleJun 30, 2010
way less effort....way more gross
skyebekaJun 30, 2010
I flush with Jedi Mind Control.
donkeybonggggJun 30, 2010
i hope that guy slips off the urinal...
barryn13087Jun 30, 2010
spoiled with joke in the title.
frinkinatorJun 30, 2010
"If you don't think that's awesome, then you need awesome lessons"