cracked.com— Wait for a powerful wind storm in Eminem's neighborhood. When a tree branch takes out the power lines, sneak into Eminem's house and place your balls where he normally keeps his flashlight.
Jun 2, 2009View in Crawl 4
Another suggestion for placing your balls on Eminem. Eminem, on the set of 9 Mile, the sequel to 8 Mile is suddenly overcome by dehydration. You, having successfully blown and hand jobbed your way to the top of the caterer pile relieve Eminem. He thanks you and what unfolds is a beautiful mutualistic symbiotic relationship, Eminem avails himself on your services and you get closer and closer to balls-Eminem contact.One day you tearfully reveal to Eminem that you have hyper cancer and it is going to kill you in a few months unless you can give the affected area (here being you balls) treatment from sweat of an individual of certain genetic disposition. You then reveal that you have been secretly taking saliva from Eminem's cup and have determined that he is the needed candidate. Eminem offers to sweat into a cup and give that to you but you inform him that it needs to be fresh sweat. Eminem, moved by your words and situation, allows you to place your balls upon him. Three weeks later you die of hyper cancer, pain racing through your body until the last minute. In your will you inform Eminem that placing your balls on him was not a treatment for hyper cancer and that you tricked him. Your closing words to the rapper are "Look who's laughing now!"
Best one: "Wait for a powerful wind storm in Eminem?s neighborhood. When a tree branch takes out the power lines, sneak into Eminem?s house and place your balls where he normally keeps his flashlight."
michaelrsaJun 2, 2009
Another suggestion for placing your balls on Eminem. Eminem, on the set of 9 Mile, the sequel to 8 Mile is suddenly overcome by dehydration. You, having successfully blown and hand jobbed your way to the top of the caterer pile relieve Eminem. He thanks you and what unfolds is a beautiful mutualistic symbiotic relationship, Eminem avails himself on your services and you get closer and closer to balls-Eminem contact.One day you tearfully reveal to Eminem that you have hyper cancer and it is going to kill you in a few months unless you can give the affected area (here being you balls) treatment from sweat of an individual of certain genetic disposition. You then reveal that you have been secretly taking saliva from Eminem's cup and have determined that he is the needed candidate. Eminem offers to sweat into a cup and give that to you but you inform him that it needs to be fresh sweat. Eminem, moved by your words and situation, allows you to place your balls upon him. Three weeks later you die of hyper cancer, pain racing through your body until the last minute. In your will you inform Eminem that placing your balls on him was not a treatment for hyper cancer and that you tricked him. Your closing words to the rapper are "Look who's laughing now!"
Closed AccountJun 2, 2009
This is literally dongtacular
Closed AccountJun 3, 2009
that seems less like an addition than a really morbid, homoerotic fantasy. not that there's anything wrong with that..
supferretsJun 3, 2009
Best one: "Wait for a powerful wind storm in Eminem?s neighborhood. When a tree branch takes out the power lines, sneak into Eminem?s house and place your balls where he normally keeps his flashlight."
dellortnibevuJun 3, 2009
hey i think emniem is great cus he makes fun of stupid assh**es like michale jackson and othersi think its funny the guide tho
shadowman99Jun 3, 2009
1) Cut a hole in a box2) Put your junk in the box3) Give Eminem the box.
Closed AccountJun 4, 2009
Maybe that's what's wrong with homophobes - they just didn't get enough dude-ass in their face as kids.... or, maybe they got too much?
Closed AccountJun 5, 2009
BOOYAH