theonion.com — Veteran partier Adam Girard announced his intentions to continue partying late Saturday evening, assuring onlookers that the multiple injuries he had sustained over the previous six hours did not require medical attention, and were not severe enough to prematurely end the festivities.
Apr 27, 2008 View in Crawl 4
Closed AccountApr 28, 2008
That is actually a major at Louisiana State University.
Closed AccountApr 28, 2008
There are no decent reasons not to have socialised health care.
thepeopleApr 28, 2008
He does not.
avaugha4Apr 28, 2008
That was always the magic of the Onion. Out there, but not too out there.
shitdisturberApr 29, 2008
I do. I also know what a waste of skin you and the douche bag are. Digg is better than this.
sassipApr 29, 2008
Remember your comment in 10 years...
blackgumApr 29, 2008
The onion sucks. Waste of time and space.
fur10nApr 29, 2008
I didn't even realize it was The Onion until I came to the comments section.