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crymtyphonFeb 25, 2012
It is only a matter of time.
The Council of Orthodox Judaism declares Steven Colbert not only Jewish, but a rabbi.
The Southern Baptist Convention announces they have accepted Jesus in the name
of all Jews no take-backs.
The Pope retaliates by ordaining all Protestants to the College of Cardinals.
The muslim Council of Wahabi Imams preemptively attacks with the declaration
that anyone is a muslim who says they are not a muslim.
The Episcopal Church issues 'Get out of Hell Free' cards to anyone who clicks
on their flashing web banner.
Jehovah's Witnesses donate blood to scientologists who have caught pnuemonia
reading about Xenu to Mormon missionaries.
Finaly in a burst of creative energy, the Greek Orthodox Patiarch grants full remission
of sins to Adam and Eve, thus negating Original Sin and pretty much sucking the
whole of religious history into a theological black hole.
An apocalypse devoutly to be wished.
kamtsaFeb 25, 2012
And the North American Comedian Association will one day declare Colbert as being funny.
johnnysoftwareFeb 25, 2012
Is that like having NAMBLA declare someone as pious?
anomaly100Feb 25, 2012
It must be. Even my uber-Conservative brother loves Colbert.
crymtyphonFeb 25, 2012
Colbert isn't funny.
Obama isn't smart.
John Stewart isn't relevant.
And Ann Coulter is full of submission to the love of God;
Mitt Romney is a working man of the common clay;
Rick Santorum is a sane, common-sensible uniter;
Newt Gingrich is a moral example;
Rupert Murdoch is a patriot;
and Ron Paul has tried-and-true solutions to our problems.
The ability to create one's own reality is not a super-power, kamtsa.
It is a weakness; and that is all.
u2canfailFeb 27, 2012
And you should be writing for Colbert.
crymtyphonFeb 27, 2012
No. He should be writing for me.
In the bigger scheme, Digg is more important that one
more idiot tv show.
The eyes of the world are upon us, u2canfail!
Judging our every word.
Can't you feel them?
Kinda creeps me out when I think about it.
I'm going to go close the drapes.
u2canfailFeb 27, 2012
I leave mine open, and turn on the lights. Exhibitionist myself. Others really need what I have. Joy and humor.
roguegeniusFeb 26, 2012
He is actually a riot. Not as funny as Mahar, but damn funny. Stewart too. I can't even think of a funny conservative comedian. What is 'Larry the Cable Guy's' affiliation? He looks like a pretty typical right winger. But, of course, when it comes to funny, he doesn't need mentioned in the same sentence with those other names.
slang4catFeb 26, 2012
Dennis Miller
kgermFeb 26, 2012
yeah, but Dennis Miller stopped being funny, so idk if that counts.
roguegeniusFeb 26, 2012
You are right slang, I'll give you that one, though kgerm is right too. He went all 'Joe Piscopo' and for some reason isn't funny any more. But when he was funny... BOY he was funny.
Speaking of which... Piscapo. Damn, what happened to him. He was one of the funniest people on earth. He might as well be dead now.
slang4catFeb 26, 2012
Dennis Miller stopped being funny when you stopped getting his jokes. You stopped getting his jokes because the joke's on you.
roguegeniusFeb 26, 2012
No, I wasn't slamming you. I was very serious. Miller was VERY funny. But he has lost it somewhere. He really has. I'm really wondering of people like he and Piscapo (and Piscapo is not at all political, that I know of) have had strokes or something. The change is RADICAL.
I still have the old 'rants' album. Freaking riot!
kgermFeb 26, 2012
we should be so lucky !
laurahoustonFeb 25, 2012
see what you get by letting a gang wander the deserts and outbacks for 200 years alone?
johnnysoftwareFeb 25, 2012
I don't see how he nails these segments in one take without cracking up before he can finish the joke.
Although in this case, the best thinkers at some institutions did his work for him.
jpurdyFeb 26, 2012
LOL
drcrankFeb 25, 2012
http://www.alldeadmormonsarenowgay.com/
markcalvinoFeb 25, 2012
I 'converted'Joseph Smith. Seemed only fair...
u2canfailFeb 27, 2012
And all his wives too, I hope!
skywiseFeb 25, 2012
He's sooo avant-garde....He should try that with Muslims instead of Mormons... Oooh the laughter he'll get!
countess666Feb 25, 2012
when did Muslims try to convert dead people to their religion again?
skywiseFeb 25, 2012
And here I thought you'd be open minded about a religion who's philosophy at least tries to allow the past to be accepted into the afterlife and be all inclusive.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
crymtyphonFeb 25, 2012
'Inclusion' would be to say that muslims and catholics
go to heaven as well as mormons.
To permit only mormons, is 'exclusion'.
And to dishonestly and creepily 'baptise' non-believers
into that Salt-Lake tree-house cult?
- is an insult to the dead and the living.
You knew that.
skywiseFeb 25, 2012
In the same way that being a Democrat is "exclusionary" too? In the same way that they creepily and dishonestly will use funerals for political motiviation and fund raising campaigns like Paul Wellstone's death?
You knew that too...Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
stevanoskiFeb 25, 2012
They are like ghouls coming out to feed on the dead.
crymtyphonFeb 25, 2012
To have beliefs is to have identity as a group.
Being a democrat; a catholic; a libertarian;
or even conservative
is exclusionary,
- in that those who do not choose
to affirm the beliefs, exclude themselves.
We do not confuse that, with the idiot
slimy cowardly dishonest necro-theology of
rebaptizing people into a group they would
not willingly join when alive.
Nor more than we confuse your pathetic
use of a good man's funeral for your political
spit.
Which, by the way, failed to go past your chin.
Wipe it off; and try again.
u2canfailFeb 27, 2012
Cry, now you know that kind of "difference" is far too subtle for the GOP digg crew, don't you? Religion is so sacred, they must use the "M" word. And not meaning Mormon, or any of their strange practices, like conversion after death, without permission.
crymtyphonFeb 27, 2012
The 'M' word?
And it isn't 'Mormon'?
Is it 'metal'? 'mexico'? 'Metempsychosis'?
'muskrat'? 'mighty morphin martian mice'?
I missed the meeting where they gave out
those handouts that explained these things.
Why can't they put it online?
SophiaPuffFeb 27, 2012
The Mormon's believe that the person baptized by proxy must decide to accept the baptism in the afterlife. It isn't conversion without permission, it's simply offering baptism (which Christ taught was a necessary) to those that did not have the opportunity to be baptized during life. And they don't do this to Jews only, they do it to EVERYONE, including YOU (after you die and if you are not already baptized in the Mormon church)! They intend to baptize every human being (regardless of religion) that ever lived or will live on earth. What the person choices to do with such baptism in the after life is entirely up to that person. I don't see why people have a problem with this.
u2canfailFeb 28, 2012
sophia, I do have a problem with this practice. You see, my name is important to me. And hopefully for my children. When a group, takes away it's value, even after my death, I find it awful. I, in no way ever want to be MORMON. I get a choice while alive, I wish to be left alone in death.
crymtyphonFeb 28, 2012
@SophiaPuff:
What a kindly, reasonable way of handling
the eternal trouble of those who disagree.
I shall do the same.
In this present time, your mind and body
solemnly affirm I am wrong.
But your future, wiser spirit, sees the truth.
And the truth is this:
To ceremonialy coopt the dead into a religion
they would have died before surrendering to in life?
- is a theft no other religion has ever
considered lowering itself to performing.
And that is all it is.
u2canfailFeb 28, 2012
Crym, think of all the M words possible in our language, it expands the mind, the meeting on "M" wasn't important. Use any word starting with M. It is simply a matter of substitution.
crymtyphonFeb 28, 2012
Moxy.
Molybedelium.
Metatastacosys.
Myocardial.
Momser.
Mongol.
Mongrel.
The mongrel mongols mutated the mumps
to metastacyse the moxy; don't ask me how.
Mutany! Mutany! Mutany from stern to bow!
Dial 'M' for Murder.
u2canfailFeb 28, 2012
Excellent "M" list, there are many more, but a great start!
slang4catFeb 26, 2012
I've heard of plenty of Muslims trying to convert living people into dead people. Does that count?
As a matter of fact:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-17163322
We burned some books, so people had to die.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
countess666Feb 26, 2012
and we know from history that plenty of Christians did the same thing world wide, and were pretty effective at it from the middle ages onward.
that wasn't funny either.
slang4catFeb 26, 2012
Yup, and if that were still taking place now, it would be remotely relevant.
countess666Feb 26, 2012
you made this about religion and which one is better. that wasn't at all relevant.
my response was relevant to yours, yours wasn't relevant to the issue at hand.
u2canfailFeb 28, 2012
When a "christian" supports any WAR, it is killing others, and still relevant and taking place today.
u2canfailFeb 28, 2012
slang, you posted a link. I read it. Where in your link does it say anything about Muslims trying to convert the dead to Mormonism or even to the Muslim religion?
Did you not read the topic? Killing and conversion do not have the same meaning.
slang4catFeb 26, 2012
There is something he could make fun of no?
Nah, that's not fun or funny is it?
Mormons! Now they're funny! Thank god!
Closed AccountFeb 25, 2012
বিদ্যার প্রেমে ফিদা যুবক
http://www.statenewsbd.com/?p=2382