techtified.com— Reacting to complaints that the new iPhone 4 loses signal when it’s held in a certain way, Apple today announced a remedy to a problem that has plagued the company’s trust rank over recent weeks.
Jul 6, 2010View in Crawl 4
I thought this was going to link to the Onion or something. That's one of the dumbest products I've ever seen. You buy this then you're retarded.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
At the bottom of the page:
"About the Author
David is a satirical writer whose work appears on a range of popular technology platforms around the world. Not to mention he is a gaming addict."
Amazing how many people didn't get that it was a joke. Probably because the joke is not very funny and someone clearly spent WAY to much time on it. Protip: if you don't actually work for The Onion, spending more than 5 minutes on a photoshop joke is just sad.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
Simple, the iHand comes with another great apple product, the iBox. Simply put your old worthless existing hand into the box and it will remove it for you, now you are free to install the new iHand in it's place.
While trying to plug his iphone in the victim was apparently strangled to death by his phone cord then hidden behind the couch.
Well I guess...
*puts on sunglasses*
The number has been disconnected.
YEEEEEAAAAAAAAH!!!! Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
Seriously this is getting old.. they say success means envy, if you don't like the phone don't buy it. I don't like Geo Metros, thus I don't buy them. But sitting around talking all day about how much you don't like a product is pretty lame. Would there be so many anti-iphone anti-apple articles if they weren't breaking sales records? No one would care if the product wasn't successful but since it is everyone wants to talk about how much they hate it. Then they try to out due the last guy, You hate it? I hate it X infinity! All equally lame. Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
You are right. People aren't sitting around talking s**t about Geo Metros because the suck and no one buys them. The iPhone is an exception to rule of if something sucks or has significant flaws, not very many people will buy it. The iPhone has some pretty significant flaws yet people are still buying them in record numbers. This is what makes the whole ordeal fascinating .
I agree with you 100% it has huge flaws that shouldn't be overlooked. But who cares about what the the idiots who buy it think? I hate to sound like the grown up but I use to come to Digg as a central hub for the happenings on the internet but these stories of late seem to suck, and it seems like digg has become the polar opposite of the apple fanboys. For as much as Apple Fanboys praise everything Jobs does, Anti-Apple Fanboys are getting just as obnoxious with the I hate apple obsession. It's flawed as hell and overpriced, and Apple in recent years has only gotten more shady. I just wish people who are up in arms about how much Apple sucks, were just as avid proponents of the wars overseas or were as vocal about the estimated 196,560,000 gallons and counting of oil in the gulf.
estimated 60,000barrels/day
42gallons/barrel
42*60,000=2,520,000gallons/day
Day 78
78*2,520,000=196,560,000
I had to laugh when I saw a "facetime" commercial today and every single person int eh commercial was holding it wrong. But I guess FT uses WiFi so it's OK to hold it wrong.
Jesus Christ who gives a s**t! Its a goddamn telephone. I've got a free cell phone and cheap plan with ATT and a lap top computer. What the f**k else do you need!? All the iPhone does is allow people to be stupid. Need to know something? Oh yeah don't bother remembering it, just LOOK IT UP! now you have the internet with you at all times. I feel like Im in crazy town. Im not one of those good old days guys, I just think you iPhone people are looking dumber and more spoiled by the day. For f**k sake its a phone that has the internet and games and apps... quit your whining. You dont know Steve Jobs, It doesnt matter what he thinks/feels/says. They are a company selling you a product. Grow up and learn to spend your money a little wiser. Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
Actually, you are one of those "good olde days guys," what with you free phone is all you have and with the no one needs anything more than that ranting, gramps.
At this point I definitely believed they could release something so ridiculous. I checked their website but they must've moved the product to it's own page instead of the iPhone pageComment is buried, click here to see the rest.
This is idiotic. Just fix the damn problem so people can hold their iphone anyway they want to without worrying about reception. These marketing campaigns are pathetic, since they just continue to point out the flaws of the iphone. Fix it.
davidtangx10Jul 6, 2010
iNcredible!
davidtangx10Jul 6, 2010
Now you can buy another new overpriced product!
Enjoy and relax!
- Steve
Closed AccountJul 7, 2010
*sent from my iPhone*
itwasonlyajokeJul 7, 2010
*P.S. Thanks for your money!*
ptfoeJul 7, 2010
* sent from Bill's iPhone
phphreakJul 7, 2010
Keep telling yourself that PCs and Macs are the same with one being just more expensive. If only it were true....
nowheredanJul 7, 2010
$200 is too rich for your blood, eh? Now the *service,* that's arguably overpriced.
panteradactylJul 7, 2010
Im suprised it has more than 1 finger.
bannedwagonJul 6, 2010
I thought this was going to link to the Onion or something. That's one of the dumbest products I've ever seen. You buy this then you're retarded.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
janineeeJul 6, 2010
At the bottom of the page:
"About the Author
David is a satirical writer whose work appears on a range of popular technology platforms around the world. Not to mention he is a gaming addict."
philbertJul 7, 2010
Did they even need to say it was satire?
dibbkdJul 7, 2010
Apparently they needed to send BannedWagon a special delivery message that it was satire...
bombulaJul 7, 2010
Amazing how many people didn't get that it was a joke. Probably because the joke is not very funny and someone clearly spent WAY to much time on it. Protip: if you don't actually work for The Onion, spending more than 5 minutes on a photoshop joke is just sad.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
codered1322Jul 7, 2010
Because only The Onion writes satire.
salinungathaJul 7, 2010
Whoosh
Closed AccountJul 7, 2010
If you buy this you are retarded.
And by "this" I mean "this clearly satirical website"
skunkman62Jul 7, 2010
troll much?
alo81Jul 7, 2010
Because the Onion is the only website allowed to be satyrical.
/s
jakem1Jul 7, 2010
I had no idea The Onion had anything to do with satyrs.
thechauvinistJul 7, 2010
The Onion does all kinds of stories on satyrs and other mythical creatures.
andyroo316Jul 7, 2010
No, sir. YOU are retarded.
jgray1975Jul 7, 2010
I Digg you because you are a retard.
stevenberry54Jul 7, 2010
If you think this is a real product, you are a ratard.
docholiday22Jul 7, 2010
... You're the market target audience...
jeffh4Jul 6, 2010
Soon, our friend Steve will sell us the iPerson connected to the iHand who will even make your calls for you! You won't be needed at all!
Just your credit information.
amyvernonJul 6, 2010
It's about time frogs stopped being discriminated against.
miggieJul 7, 2010
I want iHand Ms.Piggy
kitsuaJul 7, 2010
Hey, it's not easy being green.
455holeJul 7, 2010
I look forward to the iPerson. I could then fire my secretary.
nouman1989Jul 6, 2010
The new iphones are like women. Touch them the wrong way just a little and they won't take your calls.
Closed AccountJul 7, 2010
And they'll press for extra charges.
antdudeJul 7, 2010
Then, they dump you!
evil_doerJul 7, 2010
they aren't very receptive when you wrap your hands around them
hakamanakusJul 7, 2010
She's not a fan of porn either.
oxygnJul 7, 2010
And you can buy them
dukeonkledJul 7, 2010
They would only be with you if you had a lot of money in the first place.
david90mJul 7, 2010
You just copied the most Dugg comment from an earlier post on the iPhone:
http://digg.com/apple/Now_Watch_The_Bars_PIC
nouman1989Jul 7, 2010
It was made on a post which I submitted in the first place so, I thought I had the right to copy that.
PS : Someone is spending too much time on Digg.
dlite922Jul 7, 2010
And they stick to one pimp.
/at&t
janineeeJul 6, 2010
LMFAO
namja23Jul 7, 2010
I was LMFAOing too.
I mean, I'm asian, and that hand doesnt look anything like mine.
confuciussayJul 6, 2010
lmao!. it would make a decent ball scratcher too
fyqueJul 6, 2010
OMG! thats totally insane..
kitsuaJul 7, 2010
You forgot to add 'like'.
ghostof2010Jul 6, 2010
They Fixed It and Used 0 Duct-Tape... Simply Amazing
lloydinatorJul 6, 2010
Soon, Apple will be telling us how to cook, how walk, how to type, how to s**t and how to live.
Closed AccountJul 7, 2010
there's an app for that
pablomacJul 7, 2010
They could call that app iLife.
Oh, wait…
useraccessJul 7, 2010
iCrapper...for downloading only!
satirenineJul 7, 2010
I for one welcome our aesthetically pleasing overloads.
binaryclockJul 7, 2010
I was going to post something witty and funny, but I came across this and I couldn't resist:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZoGf47Z3aY
Leave it up to the Japs..
salinungathaJul 7, 2010
I'm torn. It has an Apple logo, but it isn't shiny. Should I buy?
jwmannJul 7, 2010
That is quite the dilemma you have there.
antdudeJul 7, 2010
Steve Jobs says yes!
thunderboy123Jul 7, 2010
There is a f**king Kermit hand, yes you should buy.
sealskinJul 7, 2010
How do you hold the iHand?
czarcasmJul 7, 2010
With another iHand of course.
cheesepufflyJul 7, 2010
Thats how they hook ya, keep getting one to hold another.
Genius Apple... genius...
sykboiJul 7, 2010
Simple, the iHand comes with another great apple product, the iBox. Simply put your old worthless existing hand into the box and it will remove it for you, now you are free to install the new iHand in it's place.
villecruzJul 7, 2010
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Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
teh_techieJul 7, 2010
I'd like to see a facepalm with the iHand
moussifJul 7, 2010
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teh_techieJul 7, 2010
THANK you! The label is good enough!
itwasonlyajokeJul 7, 2010
Apple: We're starting to suck. But that's not our fault, it's your fault.
neutron7Jul 7, 2010
Apple: People are starting to realize we suck. But that's not our fault, it's your fault.
fixed it for you :)
itwasonlyajokeJul 7, 2010
hah, good one
manicleekJul 7, 2010
ItWasOnlyAJoke: I'm going to write this witty comment on every Apple related article, and you will find it funny EVERY f**kING TIME
Closed AccountJul 7, 2010
Relax buddy. It was only a joke.
darkdrifterJul 7, 2010
Now available for all the aliens out there, the Green iHand!
iamollieJul 7, 2010
Bit weak don't you think? Leave it to the onion
texmexrexJul 7, 2010
This never gets old
cheesepufflyJul 7, 2010
Vista isn't from apple...
You just hate technology in general don't you?
texmexrexJul 7, 2010
Really?
You just don't understand sarcasm, do you?
tdubsJul 7, 2010
Okay, is anybody else sick of this joke by now?
I get it, the iPhone 4 has antenna reception issues. Either buy it or don't and then move on with your life.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
beesknees21Jul 7, 2010
lolumad?
jakem1Jul 7, 2010
Actually, I can't get enough of it.
zjbirdJul 7, 2010
Brilliant! Maybe the company really is run by Mom.
antdudeJul 7, 2010
When can we buy an eyePhone?
jawkishJul 7, 2010
Mirror?
cheezeburgarJul 7, 2010
iHandjob
pablomacJul 7, 2010
Splinters.
lynnehkJul 7, 2010
I get my bars up when I use the iHandjob.
meccaydnaJul 7, 2010
hmmm I wonder if this hand has other gripping uses too...?
..., because I dropped a spark plug into my engine compartment.
goldengategamesJul 7, 2010
While trying to plug his iphone in the victim was apparently strangled to death by his phone cord then hidden behind the couch.
Well I guess...
*puts on sunglasses*
The number has been disconnected.
YEEEEEAAAAAAAAH!!!! Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
teh_techieJul 7, 2010
http://rorr.im
mbroJul 7, 2010
What is with the horrible color choice? Flesh tone? Gross, only my mom uses a flesh tone phone holder. Give me that thing in white.
Also, what's with the gradiants in the tone? Gross.
Exposed hinges? What is this, a Nokia phone holder?
Give me a break.
Individual fingers? Uggh, it's 2010, can't we just combine them into a more efficient, easy to use flipper by now?
I cannot manage all these individual fingers at once.
Why is the logo raised? It should be set in 2mm for optimal appeal.
stealthspcJul 7, 2010
OMG IM SO BUYING ONE OF THESE
APPLE IS THE BEST EVER
hakamanakusJul 7, 2010
ITS MAGICAL
masterkhaxJul 7, 2010
OMG, I WOULD HAVE NEVER EXPECTED A JOKE ABOUT THE IPHONE RECEPTION ISSUE ON DIGG, LOL, SO FUNNY
usafdudeJul 7, 2010
Seriously this is getting old.. they say success means envy, if you don't like the phone don't buy it. I don't like Geo Metros, thus I don't buy them. But sitting around talking all day about how much you don't like a product is pretty lame. Would there be so many anti-iphone anti-apple articles if they weren't breaking sales records? No one would care if the product wasn't successful but since it is everyone wants to talk about how much they hate it. Then they try to out due the last guy, You hate it? I hate it X infinity! All equally lame. Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
merchantofpanicJul 7, 2010
/tinyviolin
jpate86Jul 7, 2010
You are right. People aren't sitting around talking s**t about Geo Metros because the suck and no one buys them. The iPhone is an exception to rule of if something sucks or has significant flaws, not very many people will buy it. The iPhone has some pretty significant flaws yet people are still buying them in record numbers. This is what makes the whole ordeal fascinating .
usafdudeJul 7, 2010
I agree with you 100% it has huge flaws that shouldn't be overlooked. But who cares about what the the idiots who buy it think? I hate to sound like the grown up but I use to come to Digg as a central hub for the happenings on the internet but these stories of late seem to suck, and it seems like digg has become the polar opposite of the apple fanboys. For as much as Apple Fanboys praise everything Jobs does, Anti-Apple Fanboys are getting just as obnoxious with the I hate apple obsession. It's flawed as hell and overpriced, and Apple in recent years has only gotten more shady. I just wish people who are up in arms about how much Apple sucks, were just as avid proponents of the wars overseas or were as vocal about the estimated 196,560,000 gallons and counting of oil in the gulf.
estimated 60,000barrels/day
42gallons/barrel
42*60,000=2,520,000gallons/day
Day 78
78*2,520,000=196,560,000
usafdudeJul 7, 2010
against* the wars
danj484Jul 7, 2010
Apple is trying to break into the niche transradial amputee market.
aikomikoJul 7, 2010
Next comes the iSalute and iOath
islander2137Jul 7, 2010
Problem solved! stop bitching anti-apple assh**es
Closed AccountJul 7, 2010
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZERfeh7n4Q
theoctagonJul 7, 2010
I liked my submission of the iGlove better!
http://digg.com/comedy/Apple_has_unveiled_a_revolutionary_new_iPhone_4_accessory
philbertJul 7, 2010
I had to laugh when I saw a "facetime" commercial today and every single person int eh commercial was holding it wrong. But I guess FT uses WiFi so it's OK to hold it wrong.
boodiddlyoonJul 7, 2010
this is retarded...thanks apple i will never buy your s**t ever
satirenineJul 7, 2010
:(
mizuhochanJul 7, 2010
I... can't tell if serious...
scheibs14Jul 7, 2010
At first I was like meh......then I scrolled down to the guy in the flannel trying it out and I lost it.
jacksonyayaJul 7, 2010
I don't see the button. How does it work? It just does!
im2emo4myshrtJul 7, 2010
Dugg for the Kermit™.
antdudeJul 7, 2010
http://rorr.im/digg.com/comedy/apple_unveils_the_ihand_nthe_right_way_to_holding_your_phone/ for the mirror.
gmofolcJul 7, 2010
I only half believe this is fake.
sheffneJul 7, 2010
What's the release date? Do I need a two year ATT contract?
ubergeek1984Jul 7, 2010
Just shut up and buy one.
Sent from my iPhone
edwardr3073Jul 7, 2010
it would have been believable if there was less choice of colours
rbfbeerguyJul 7, 2010
I just bought the phone and it works great. Still funny concept though. Might as well get one in case the fix makes it worse.
thenikJul 7, 2010
Quick, everyone - Digg him down this instant for purchasing an Apple product and having no problems with it! Surely he jests!
brenan999Jul 7, 2010
Jesus Christ who gives a s**t! Its a goddamn telephone. I've got a free cell phone and cheap plan with ATT and a lap top computer. What the f**k else do you need!? All the iPhone does is allow people to be stupid. Need to know something? Oh yeah don't bother remembering it, just LOOK IT UP! now you have the internet with you at all times. I feel like Im in crazy town. Im not one of those good old days guys, I just think you iPhone people are looking dumber and more spoiled by the day. For f**k sake its a phone that has the internet and games and apps... quit your whining. You dont know Steve Jobs, It doesnt matter what he thinks/feels/says. They are a company selling you a product. Grow up and learn to spend your money a little wiser. Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
diptheriaJul 7, 2010
Actually, you are one of those "good olde days guys," what with you free phone is all you have and with the no one needs anything more than that ranting, gramps.
kitsuaJul 7, 2010
I'd like to introduce you to your opening sentence...
aliendisasterJul 7, 2010
@"All the iPhone does is allow people to be stupid. Need to know something? Oh yeah don't bother remembering it, just LOOK IT UP!"
Never memorize something that you can look up. - Albert Einstein
iambsJul 7, 2010
At this point I definitely believed they could release something so ridiculous. I checked their website but they must've moved the product to it's own page instead of the iPhone pageComment is buried, click here to see the rest.
mhf03Jul 7, 2010
This is idiotic. Just fix the damn problem so people can hold their iphone anyway they want to without worrying about reception. These marketing campaigns are pathetic, since they just continue to point out the flaws of the iphone. Fix it.
coolguyslimJul 7, 2010
The stranger?