This job really isn't how, you know, shows like CSI make it out to be. When I first joined the force, I assumed there was semen on everything and there was some, like, huge semen database that had every bad guy's semen in it. There isn't. That doesn't exist.I often go to sleep and dream of waking up in a world where everything's covered in semen. I mean, who doesn't?
There is a bit of selection bias going on as far as the percent of cases where there is usable biological evidence and where it's conclusive. I mean, the show is about where it's useful. They're not going to show the cases where CSI isn't even involved.
To be fair, CODIS works the same in the show as in real life. They often mention that it only contains samples from convicted offenders and in many cases that becomes part of the plot.
I have never seen them try to match it against the entire population like this graphic says. Usually it's used after they have other evidence against a needed to confirm the suspect was at the crime scene.
I think it tends to be an "easy button" -- insert sample and tah-dah, one and only one exact match! And police know exactly where to find him!
Gets predictable when there's only one lead to go on, like on 24: if there's two pieces of information to go on, you can be damned sure one of them will be shot/killed/blown up.
Actually, it's often a big deal on the show that they have to somehow get a DNA sample from the person they already suspected to compare. They only very rarely actually find a criminal by using CODIS. Actually the only times I can think of they didn't even find the perpetrator...they usually find partial matches and track the bad guy down through their families.
The rest of it is true...but hell, who wants to watch a show where it takes 2 months to get test results?
I've seen a few episodes of CSI, I guess it's the first of CSI (insert city name here). My life with crime shows changed after watching The Wire. I guess it's the closest (not exactly) it comes to portraying the lives of people who work in the field. I don't even anticipate watching other shows remotely like CSI e.g. Criminal Minds, Bones, and etc.
Oh I get it now. They go to the crime scene get some DNA evidence, process it in 33 seconds, match it to someone in their CODIS database of 312 million people and they've got their killer. Amazing show. Real substance. Must be why I've never a crime drama.
Seriously watch a decent show ie 24, Burn Notice, The Unit, Prison Break, Terminator SCC, Chuck, Stargate, Battlestar Gallactica, The Office etc.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
Yes exactly 24 is better entertainment than CSI. Not my problem if you're a 24 hater. Go back to watching all the crap shows then: American Idol, Survivor, medical dramas, crime dramas, reality TV shows etc.
Sorry, but I can't put myself in a mood to believe 24 because I saw Jack Bauer chase down a Crown Vic on city streets with lots of tight turns. I don't care who you are, a full size SUV cannot keep up in turns with a car, even if the Crown Vic's suspension is dated.
To me, that was a major plot hole. I can forgive a show for making a few mistakes here and there in the name of entertainment, but if I can't believe the characters, I won't get interested in the show.
I like Life because it focused more on the character development. Also, he ate a lot of fruit.
I think they could make a great show based on a much more realistic CSI lab, but the lazy, retarded coke-heads in Hollywood could give a s**t about that. But a realistic show would have so much more impact than this phoney-baloney crap they shovel out.
I bet almost no one in law enforcement can stand to watch CSI ... especially when half the time they show the lab guys running down the bad guys and shouting out orders to police lieutenants.
Nope, sorry, I've seen forensic documentaries and there is no way in hell they could make an engaging show that's realistic.
A bunch of guys running tests for an hour? You'd never see any crimes? No ones life is ever in danger (which honestly is needed to keep an audience engaged)? Half the time the CSI's wouldn't find any evidence to process, and about 90% of the cases would be anti-climatic with the criminal not getting caught, or if they are they're caught off screen and we're only told about it through dialogue because the main characters aren't there to see it.
Actually, I think you'll find that most people can suspend their disbelief to get enjoyment out of a show. Police Officers can watch Law and Order, Doctors watch House and sad little College students like me can even suspend their disbelief and watch Clerks 2 even though in the back of my mind I KNEW that no one could run a fast food restaurant with only 4 staff member, 3 of which do no work for a good half of the film.
A lot of judges really hate this show. Jurors and especially prospective jurors usually have totally unrealistic expectations about how there is always some kind of conclusive evidence left behind... you just have to know where to look and which tests to run. If it was that easy there wouldn't be nearly as many jury trials required.
![The CSI Effect : Fact Vs Fiction [Infographic]](http://cdn3.diggstatic.com/story/The_CSI_Effect_Fact_Vs_Fiction_Infographic/t.png)
macbookformeJul 2, 2010
no hummers! ? guess csi aint so cool afterall..
ca77Jul 2, 2010
I farted - INVESTIGATE
Closed AccountJul 3, 2010
Onions...cold turkey...and a mild case of food poisoning.
ca77Jul 3, 2010
One hour later --- confirmed.
knoxiouseduJul 2, 2010
Man, I needed more reasons to hate David Caruso. Now I have at least 10 more.
guyincognitooJul 2, 2010
Enhance...
panteradactylJul 3, 2010
Enhance...
chiefsfan42Jul 3, 2010
Lets see if we can change the perspective in the photo...
salinatorJul 3, 2010
JUST PRINT THE DAMN PICTURE
shawngreenJul 2, 2010
This job really isn't how, you know, shows like CSI make it out to be. When I first joined the force, I assumed there was semen on everything and there was some, like, huge semen database that had every bad guy's semen in it. There isn't. That doesn't exist.I often go to sleep and dream of waking up in a world where everything's covered in semen. I mean, who doesn't?
silverback101Jul 3, 2010
...you should visit a motel room with a dark light. It's...horrifying.
glendowerJul 3, 2010
Someone should tell Doctor Grossman down in Rapture:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_NorcqxFp4
waluigi14Jul 3, 2010
EVERYTHING!
llanowarJul 3, 2010
I read/heard that before. What is it from?
wild9Jul 3, 2010
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7C3RrvZMx-M
diuleiJul 2, 2010
What about creating GUIs in Visual Basic to track IPs? I MUST KNOW!
Closed AccountJul 3, 2010
CSI: Track criminals' IPs by creating GUIs in Visual Basic.
Real life: No.
stanleyfordJul 3, 2010
I am digging you partly for the humor of your comment but more for your proper use of apostrophes. Bravo!
jt114881Jul 3, 2010
I cringe every time I hear this.
nouman1989Jul 2, 2010
WOW. Some of those comparisons are just insane.
entropyfanJul 3, 2010
The fact that cops and prosecutors 'find it difficult' that results take months and not minutes like on TV is just insane. And scary.
How the f**k do they not know that to start with? That's like being a Chef and thinking Julia Child could cook a full turkey in 30 seconds.
tmanvJul 2, 2010
everything but the actual picture loads for me...
mastersaiyanJul 2, 2010
Its amazing to see how different things are in real life
eatingtheroadJul 2, 2010
Zoom....enhance...Ah hah
reelzchannelJul 2, 2010
I am so disillusioned!
formerbabbyJul 2, 2010
Enhance....
ravenlarkJul 3, 2010
JUST PRINT THE DAMN THING!
denizen42Jul 3, 2010
uncrop!
stanleyfordJul 3, 2010
Uncrop: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUFkb0d1kbU
diggnabbitJul 2, 2010
There is a bit of selection bias going on as far as the percent of cases where there is usable biological evidence and where it's conclusive. I mean, the show is about where it's useful. They're not going to show the cases where CSI isn't even involved.
ricoduedJul 3, 2010
If you want to be that pedantic, then they shouldn't be showing the other 90% of the episode where CSI isn't actually involved.
hippo1989Jul 3, 2010
This always makes me laugh, just like CSI!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUFkb0d1kbU
nepidaeJul 3, 2010
UNCROP
azadudeJul 3, 2010
Dugg for Red Dwarf.
megadeth222Jul 3, 2010
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uoM5kfZIQ0&NR=1
HAahahahahha, one of the suggested videos from your link.
ajgzJul 3, 2010
I came here to make a joke loosely alluding to some guy that just walks around yelling "ENHANCE" but it seems three people beat me to it.
wugieJul 3, 2010
To be fair, CODIS works the same in the show as in real life. They often mention that it only contains samples from convicted offenders and in many cases that becomes part of the plot.
captzomborgJul 3, 2010
I have never seen them try to match it against the entire population like this graphic says. Usually it's used after they have other evidence against a needed to confirm the suspect was at the crime scene.
alwaysskepticalJul 3, 2010
I think it tends to be an "easy button" -- insert sample and tah-dah, one and only one exact match! And police know exactly where to find him!
Gets predictable when there's only one lead to go on, like on 24: if there's two pieces of information to go on, you can be damned sure one of them will be shot/killed/blown up.
yosafbridgeJul 3, 2010
Thank you, that's what I was going to comment.
Actually, it's often a big deal on the show that they have to somehow get a DNA sample from the person they already suspected to compare. They only very rarely actually find a criminal by using CODIS. Actually the only times I can think of they didn't even find the perpetrator...they usually find partial matches and track the bad guy down through their families.
The rest of it is true...but hell, who wants to watch a show where it takes 2 months to get test results?
ooxmanJul 3, 2010
Dugg for the fact that REAL science is always more interesting than TV science (although, ya know, slower).
alwaysskepticalJul 3, 2010
That's why I watch Discovery Channel. Thank god for Mythbusters and their unwritten mandate of BLOW SOMETHING UP WITH HIGH EXPLOSIVES.
ooxmanJul 3, 2010
I think it's probably written by this point :)
manwithanameJul 3, 2010
I've seen a few episodes of CSI, I guess it's the first of CSI (insert city name here). My life with crime shows changed after watching The Wire. I guess it's the closest (not exactly) it comes to portraying the lives of people who work in the field. I don't even anticipate watching other shows remotely like CSI e.g. Criminal Minds, Bones, and etc.
sorrydiggJul 3, 2010
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8w3fhYy6w4
nepidaeJul 3, 2010
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6i3NWKbBaaU
Closed AccountJul 3, 2010
Oh I get it now. They go to the crime scene get some DNA evidence, process it in 33 seconds, match it to someone in their CODIS database of 312 million people and they've got their killer. Amazing show. Real substance. Must be why I've never a crime drama.
Seriously watch a decent show ie 24, Burn Notice, The Unit, Prison Break, Terminator SCC, Chuck, Stargate, Battlestar Gallactica, The Office etc.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
lnmagicJul 3, 2010
Because 24, Burn Notice, and Prison Break are all realistic.
Closed AccountJul 3, 2010
You don't watch them for the realism, you watch them for the quality.
mcnashJul 3, 2010
He never said that they were, just that they were more dramatic and entertaining.
apatheeJul 3, 2010
I'm calling bulls**t on 24. That show blows hard. Also, I've never a crime drama either.
Closed AccountJul 3, 2010
If that show blows hard, you're a tard.
smokezzJul 3, 2010
Nah, you're a tard for saying they're "better" based on real substance. 24? Come on.... It's television, it's not real substance, it's entertainment.
Closed AccountJul 4, 2010
Yes exactly 24 is better entertainment than CSI. Not my problem if you're a 24 hater. Go back to watching all the crap shows then: American Idol, Survivor, medical dramas, crime dramas, reality TV shows etc.
lnmagicJul 7, 2010
Sorry, but I can't put myself in a mood to believe 24 because I saw Jack Bauer chase down a Crown Vic on city streets with lots of tight turns. I don't care who you are, a full size SUV cannot keep up in turns with a car, even if the Crown Vic's suspension is dated.
To me, that was a major plot hole. I can forgive a show for making a few mistakes here and there in the name of entertainment, but if I can't believe the characters, I won't get interested in the show.
I like Life because it focused more on the character development. Also, he ate a lot of fruit.
0sirisJul 3, 2010
Yea... Its f**king funny when Battlestar Galactica is more realistic than CSI.
quietsykoJul 3, 2010
You've never a crime drama? Have you ever a coke bottle?
Closed AccountJul 4, 2010
No I've never watched a coke bottle, they're not that interesting. Do you watch them? Do you wear a straight jacket as well?
quietsykoJul 4, 2010
You accidentally the whole joke.
trichomonasJul 3, 2010
SO basically there is a pretty good chance that you can commit a crime and get away with it? Probably not something you should be telling everyone...
seannj30Jul 3, 2010
YYYEEEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Closed AccountJul 3, 2010
who could have guessed CSI was bulls**t.
kaypasaJul 3, 2010
I took a Forensic Sciences class in my senior year of high school. Hands down best science class I ever took.
Once a month we'd watch an episode of CSI or Law & Order or Monk and we'd have to point out what's right or wrong in the show.
antdudeJul 3, 2010
DIrect link to a larger image: http://www.forensicscience.net/csi-effect-infographic
yosafbridgeJul 3, 2010
They drive Denali's in CSI.
Don't ask me how I know that...
Unless the Hummer is CSI Miami or NY? I don't know, I've only ever watched the original.
bulk70Jul 3, 2010
Hummer is Miami.
lastdawnofmanJul 3, 2010
I think they could make a great show based on a much more realistic CSI lab, but the lazy, retarded coke-heads in Hollywood could give a s**t about that. But a realistic show would have so much more impact than this phoney-baloney crap they shovel out.
I bet almost no one in law enforcement can stand to watch CSI ... especially when half the time they show the lab guys running down the bad guys and shouting out orders to police lieutenants.
yosafbridgeJul 3, 2010
Nope, sorry, I've seen forensic documentaries and there is no way in hell they could make an engaging show that's realistic.
A bunch of guys running tests for an hour? You'd never see any crimes? No ones life is ever in danger (which honestly is needed to keep an audience engaged)? Half the time the CSI's wouldn't find any evidence to process, and about 90% of the cases would be anti-climatic with the criminal not getting caught, or if they are they're caught off screen and we're only told about it through dialogue because the main characters aren't there to see it.
Actually, I think you'll find that most people can suspend their disbelief to get enjoyment out of a show. Police Officers can watch Law and Order, Doctors watch House and sad little College students like me can even suspend their disbelief and watch Clerks 2 even though in the back of my mind I KNEW that no one could run a fast food restaurant with only 4 staff member, 3 of which do no work for a good half of the film.
brucealmightyJul 3, 2010
A lot of judges really hate this show. Jurors and especially prospective jurors usually have totally unrealistic expectations about how there is always some kind of conclusive evidence left behind... you just have to know where to look and which tests to run. If it was that easy there wouldn't be nearly as many jury trials required.