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The Oatmeal
49757 Followers
Ryan Hicks
681 Followers
John Anderson
28 Followers
Greg Miley
40 Followers
Kyle Harding
19 Followers
Dan London
73 Followers
angrytortilla
139 Followers
xerodustrial
38 Followers
johnaAug 17, 2010
This is the best xkcd... wait, what?
tkeajaxAug 17, 2010
Damn you Binky!!!!
bobhopeisgodAug 17, 2010
I'm not seeing xkcd front paging nearly as often these days.
mitchellkohlAug 17, 2010
This account has been closed by the user
lukas1051Aug 17, 2010
It suddenly got s**t and no-one knows why.
explodingzebrasAug 18, 2010
buried by conservatist groups...
infinityofneverAug 18, 2010
hopefully binky finally goes away
redaphidAug 17, 2010
This is the best Oatmeal ever!
jrgalauraAug 18, 2010
This is the best Oatmeal *evar*!
lleuAug 17, 2010
Beat me too it. Everything theoatmeal does seems to make it to the front page now. Most deserve to be there, this one? Not so much.
Closed AccountAug 17, 2010
Then obviously you haven't raped and murdered enough hookers to see the true comic genius behind this. Prude.
gmileyAug 17, 2010
Ahh Oatmeal, you always bring a smile to my day.
oatmealAug 17, 2010Submitter
Ahh gmiley, you always bring a gmile to my day.
centranAug 17, 2010
I love it when someone brings me a gimlet!
yahnAug 17, 2010
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZComment is buried, click here to see the rest.
kimbomittAug 18, 2010
wtf is a gmile
llanowarAug 18, 2010
Too many gloryholes... back to the wall isn't all that safe either.
melektawusAug 17, 2010
I'm actually disappointed that The Oatmeal would do a joke so stupid and lame. I see this same joke in various forms all over the internet, people act like paying a prostitute is like buying a slave that you can make do whatever you want, as if being willing to have sex for money meant you would do anything else for money as well. I'm no feminist, but I think this is a result of the belief that having sex with a woman gives you a degree of ownership over them.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
wiseguy1020Aug 17, 2010
"I'm no feminist, but I think this is a result of the belief that having sex with a woman gives you a degree of ownership over them."
I don't ANY feminist would agree with that.
Closed AccountAug 17, 2010
Ok, but what do you think of the doggie style position?
melektawusAug 17, 2010
Doggie style is a perfectly acceptable use of a prostitute.
Console FPS games? No.
lethargicmonkeyAug 17, 2010
ok here's a situation i imagine in my mind, that totally kills your argument.
prostitute is out on the corner, working like any other night. man drives up, says how much. she gives him the price. man says great, get in. he gives her the money, then says, "instead of letting me f**k you in the ass, do you think you could be my 4th player for mario kart?" of course she's going to f**king play mario kart.
if my boss came up to me and said, "lethargicmonkey, stop painting that house and come help me build a sofa fort," I'D BE ALL OVER THAT s**t. ESPECIALLY IF I WAS STILL BEING PAID TO BUILD SAID FORT.
so, as you can see, your point makes no sense. now get back to holding that bird seed.
paulcooperAug 17, 2010
hmm, I'm guessing if a prostitute came back to your place expecting another deprecating sexual experience and then found out, actually no she only need to play some Mario for the $300 - she'd be pretty stoked.
Closed AccountAug 18, 2010
Basically I have full permission to anal f**k a prostitute but she can't play halo with me.
sniper117Aug 18, 2010
No its not because we think sex=ownership of them, its because we think that if a women would have sex with a guy for money she would play a video game or build a fort for money.. dumb ass
Closed AccountAug 18, 2010
You find me a woman and an amount of money for which said woman would have sex but would refuse to play Mario Kart.
brainrazerAug 18, 2010
MelekTawus, I took this comic as hilariously pointing out how the "hooker" is accepting money for doing the most degrading thing ever, i.e., sex from a complete dirty stranger (yes i used i.e. correctly), and might be paid doing other perhaps less degrading tasks.
juliechuAug 18, 2010
Nevermind the frame where she's getting shat upon by birds...
melektawusAug 19, 2010
And my point that a woman who is willing to blow a stranger in his car or spend 30 minutes letting him f**k her in the ass for $50 might NOT prefer to play video games. It will take longer, it's an indicator that the guy is weird which may ring alarm bells about them not paying, it might piss off her pimp, and it's something the prostitute may not be comfortable doing.
adisor19Aug 17, 2010
You know, i can come up with a 6th super neat creative way to use a hooker...
Adi
hurrayforschoolAug 17, 2010
I know.
wiseguy1020Aug 17, 2010
Shorting your username and leaving it as a sig is pretty gay.
Wise
densetsu23Aug 17, 2010
No, it's awesome!
dense
arenas46Aug 17, 2010
Are
lethargicmonkeyAug 17, 2010
oh i thought he shortened "hurr durr," not his name.
LET
vendrakeAug 17, 2010
Initials FTW
-VD
Closed AccountAug 18, 2010
Took me awhile to figure out what they did there. I thought Adi was a slang term I was unfamiliar with. I'm dense today. But at least I'm special.
-ed
Closed AccountAug 18, 2010
Venereal Disease?
kahrahtayAug 18, 2010
lol@special ed
xerexerexAug 18, 2010
This account has been closed by the user
Closed AccountAug 18, 2010
Wow, guys! This is pretty cool!
Not
arenas46Aug 17, 2010
are
gregdogumAug 17, 2010
I know a 6th super neat way to use a hooker.
Closed AccountAug 18, 2010
Use them to catch syphilis?
solaniisrexAug 18, 2010
Is that one of those new Pokemon? I hope it's easy to catch!
dnz64Aug 17, 2010
5 super neat ways diggers use hookers.
quickwaffleAug 17, 2010
Whore Mountain FTW!
robbh66Aug 17, 2010
Whore Mountain made me smile. The rest...worst oatmeal ever.
Closed AccountAug 17, 2010
Agreed. This was disappointing.
michaelrod77Aug 17, 2010
I think the Oatmeal actually has something against hookers. Less funny, more scary Oatmeal today.
glbernsAug 18, 2010
Then can we go to candy mountain?
Closed AccountAug 18, 2010
Oh when you're down and looking for some cheering up then just head right on up to the candy mountain cave...
giantdunkAug 18, 2010
I'm sorry what? I was picturing Whore Island.
originalmadmattAug 18, 2010
MARIO CART FTW!!! or am i the only one that gets left with the retarded kid next door?
rob40wilson03Aug 18, 2010
Meme this!
markemmitchellAug 17, 2010
Dugg for Whore Mountain.
Closed AccountAug 17, 2010
But remember, it wasn't JUST couch forts. Remember when they let you use the card table and chairs, too?
strangehumorAug 17, 2010
The best was making the tv and stand part of the fort.
Closed AccountAug 17, 2010
It was like a little theatre. We grew up with many, many big pillows in the living room.
diktator279Aug 18, 2010
I didn't have much exposure to couch forts in the orphanage.
diktator279Aug 18, 2010
Just kidding, it was Juvie.
originalmadmattAug 18, 2010
that is seriously..... funny dude made me lose a kidney LMAO!!!
kerrigoreAug 18, 2010
I totally read it as "couch farts" at first. Then I re-read it, and it made much more sense and was much less disturbing.
amgamer23Aug 18, 2010
I read it exactly the same way - weird...
Closed AccountAug 18, 2010
I hate couch farts. You walk into the room totally unsuspecting. Everything is fine, everything smells normal. Then you plop down on the couch and *PLOOF* Fart cloud.
rockycosmosAug 17, 2010
One of these days, I'm gonna climb Whore Mountain.
torikanAug 17, 2010
one of these days I'll make it a habit.
gv402Aug 17, 2010
A man can dream.
IllBeBackAug 17, 2010
"Beavis, I have seen the top of the mountain...and it is good."
/Butt-Head
leanneohareAug 18, 2010
The *whore* mountain?
/lame Asian impression
kerrigoreAug 18, 2010
No. Just... no.
harinezumiAug 18, 2010
Beware the Gonorrhea Glacier.
complexiumAug 18, 2010
And explore its caves.
kuci06Aug 17, 2010
they are holding the n64 controllers wrong
duh
themadmuleAug 18, 2010
So does that mean they won't get a signal?
Because they appear to be wireless too...
jonprophetAug 18, 2010
Wireless N64 controllers!
*Now* I've seen everything in a comic.
gontechAug 18, 2010
Still, props to him for using the 64 instead of the Wii. Mario Kart Wii is a travesty.
path411Aug 18, 2010
double dash though is where it's at
sertmanAug 17, 2010
You forgot the yellow C thumbstick on the N64 controllers!!! /nerd OCD
Dugg for Whore Mountain and jousting.
stealtherxAug 17, 2010
The N64 controller had four C buttons, not a C thumbstick.
zombiesocietyAug 17, 2010
That was the Gamecube. You should use your OCD to obsessively-compulsively know things.
amaoicanAug 17, 2010
To be fair, the N64 did have 4 yellow C-buttons (in lieu of a C thumbstick) in addition to the A and B buttons. Depending on how you look at the comic, they are missing the A&B buttons or they are missing two of the C buttons.
nstern2Aug 18, 2010
I real nerd would have realized that one of the screens of mario kart is from the arcade game and the player is racing as pac man.
gr00verAug 17, 2010
Dear Oatmeal,
You have brought hooker jousting to light. For that, I thank you.
Gr00ver.
thephosphorboxAug 17, 2010
LOL "The Magical Caves of Awesome"
paperclipsnsoupAug 17, 2010
If you ask a hooker if she will do nude modeling for money and she says no, she's probably a cop.
*** USE AT YOUR OWN RISK ***
/I never tried, but that's what I hear.
skyjis6Aug 17, 2010
a likely story..................
v3rtex7740Aug 17, 2010
Give credit to Manswers. Awesome show.
paperclipsnsoupAug 17, 2010
Must have missed that one.
jfallon126Aug 17, 2010
Yea, that's what I've never understood. Why don't Johns do the following:
1) Pick up hooker for a "good time"
2) Ask her if she wants to be in your "indie film"
3) Bang and film.
4) Pay her for her "role".
Prostitution is illegal but porn ain't, right? I'm sure there's something illegal in there somewhere, but it's got be something like a ticket for "filming without a license" or some BS. And if its in your hotel room, car, etc. isn't that not a problem, too?
THIS IS JUST AN ACADEMIC QUESTION I SWEAR.
paperclipsnsoupAug 17, 2010
It's illegal to have sex with a prostitute.... Unless you film it.
bmad965Aug 17, 2010
They might be able to get you on some kind of unregistered business or tax evasion law.
vendrakeAug 17, 2010
It depends on the state you're in, but I've been told this fails unless you have a dedicated person to hold the camera. If you're banging her and holding the camera, they'll still nail you on prostitution charges. If you and a buddy split the bill and hold the camera for each other, you're fine. (Again just hearsay, I haven't actually tried it. Yet.)
jabbrwockeyAug 18, 2010
I think you just need some release forms for her to sign, you know, for the film industry.
u83onewingAug 18, 2010
I think you can pay them to f**k some one else on film.. but you cant pay them to f**k you..
yes i understand this is retarded.. but this is what I've come to understand (retarded)
glendowerAug 18, 2010
In accordance with other laws, you would have to keep files proving that she is 18. Unless she caries a copy of her birth certificate with her, that's another problem.
ranon20Aug 18, 2010
The hooker will charge 2x to 5x times her normal rate to do a film.
Do you want to spend that kind of cash.
808atheistAug 18, 2010
Porn in the U.S. today = "PAPERS PLEASE!!!" /german accent
Thats what all those words are before the nakedness begins. You gotta be all registered. Worse than trying to sell liquor.
Closed AccountAug 17, 2010
Would prostitution be illegal if hookers accepted "donations"?
iph0neAug 18, 2010
It would technically be legal if you filmed it.
iph0neAug 18, 2010
Your girlfriend appears in porn videos?
jabbrwockeyAug 18, 2010
That's how massage parlors get by with it today. You "tip" nice, you get "treated" nice.
morpheousmartyAug 18, 2010
I like this theory. I think you need to make sure you make it clear you will be uploading directly to the internet, so she doesn't think she can bust you before the film is developed.
diggastolemybikAug 18, 2010
that would never work
ranon20Aug 18, 2010
The hooker will charge 2x to 5x times her normal rate to do a film.
Do you want to spend that kind of cash?
iph0neAug 18, 2010
Awesome... iv'e always wanted to f**k a cop
eupatorusAug 18, 2010
They've certainly f**ked me plenty of times.
tunaktunakAug 18, 2010
Somebody should put this thread in a "This is why I love Digg" post.
hrishikesAug 17, 2010
Dugg for Whore Mountain.
doctechnicalAug 17, 2010
I read that as "Couch Farts".
Probably *somebody's* kink.
zachapiAug 17, 2010
Glad to know I wasn't the only one o.O
toypaj182Aug 18, 2010
cakefarts.com
hilarious
Closed AccountAug 18, 2010
You know what I love the most?
Gross.
antdudeAug 18, 2010
Me too.
chuckdontsurfAug 18, 2010
Rule 34.
bobhopeisgodAug 17, 2010
6. Sex
ingenuseAug 17, 2010
Eww
markperiaAug 17, 2010
clap clap clap clap clap
Closed AccountAug 17, 2010
I see what you did there.
purgarusAug 17, 2010
He replied to someone saying sex, with a golf clap, he must be talking about Tiger Woods. I'm stupid.
kwcarpenterAug 18, 2010
It works on two levels. Maybe three.
dkrenderAug 20, 2010
Only two. This isn't Inception.
antdudeAug 18, 2010
What is sex? ;)
nyxerebosAug 18, 2010
I think it's a kind of cake.
Closed AccountAug 18, 2010
I'm afraid its something you'll never find out
antdudeAug 18, 2010
:( But "cake is a lie"!
exloserAug 17, 2010
dear the oatmeal
you will forever be my useful hooker
exloser
randylmAug 18, 2010
dear, every assh**e that posts "dear oatmeal"
stop
fattehboiAug 17, 2010
I'm always down for some 4 player mario kart, favorite level is whore mountain actually.
wefarrellAug 17, 2010
To ride in the carpool lane:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6sic_iVrZvU#t=2m30s
oatmealAug 17, 2010Submitter
That joke was actually in my list of potentials for this comic, but a friend of mine was kind enough to point out that it's from an episode of arrested development.
hurrayforschoolAug 17, 2010
Curb Your Enthusiasm. I get the names confused too, even though I've watched Arrested Development in it's entirety and only seen one or two episodes of Curb...
piieerrrreeAug 17, 2010
he should've allowed her to go to work or whatever and then come back later.
also, I can't believe I just buried the Oatmeal... it's from Curb Your Enthusiasm, not AD
oatmealAug 17, 2010Submitter
I amuse the internet with comics. The internet amuses me by tweeting about how offended they are:
http://twitter.com/plastikgyrl/status/21427856103
"dehumanize sex workers" = surefire LOL from mr. oatsmeel.
bobhopeisgodAug 17, 2010
Oh don't worry. That person will probably end up busted for something like kicking puppies.
http://theoatmeal.com/blog/kim_steinhaus
asimpledadAug 17, 2010
You can LOL, but that comic still makes you a total dick.
surkitAug 17, 2010
In satire, vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, and society itself, into improvement.
No, saying "they are only good for sex, and a good way to get your money back is to beat them up" would make him a dick.
spazattack5000Aug 17, 2010
@Surkit: That sure works on Grand Theft Auto :)
poonchowAug 18, 2010
I'm sure Stewart, Colbert, Fey, and all the others back to Voltaire were "huge dicks" for being satirists.
asimpledadAug 18, 2010
Claiming something is satire does not make it so. And yeah, most satirists are total dicks. They may be necessary/helpful for society, but that doesn't make them not dicks.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
spazattack5000Aug 17, 2010
She's just bitter because no one will have sex with her even for free. I mean ugh... look at that mug.
Closed AccountAug 17, 2010
Wow, the levels involved, 'ASimpleDad' is posting about how offended he is that you posted about how amused you are by someone else tweeting about how offended they are. It's like the snake that eats it's own tail, but it has a lazy eye and slight mental retardation.
arschgaudiAug 17, 2010
Slow golf clap
chikutenAug 18, 2010
Fast golf clap
spazattack5000Aug 18, 2010
Quiet please
asimpledadAug 18, 2010
I posted that the fact he thinks he's funny doesn't make him not a dick. Lot's of total dicks are super funny. Nice use of retardation humor, stay classy krellor.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
aeroboyAug 18, 2010
retards are offensive herp derp
randomgorillaAug 17, 2010
A very zen comic. "When is a hooker not a hooker? When she's a bird-feeder." And thus one attains enlightenment.
vvitchdrAug 17, 2010
Anyone who says "I have a great sense of humor!" probably does not.
theone12Aug 18, 2010
Indeed - humor shouldn't require disclaimers
oatmealAug 17, 2010Submitter
The twitards are in full force with this one:
http://twitter.com/theBrianMaxwell
This guy is claiming I stole the idea from him and has been tweeting at me saying he has a copyright on "hooker fort," because he made this gut-wrenchingly unfunny video a few months back:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VQrACgFDbo&feature=player_embedded
And his buddy says I'm a dirty thief who stole the idea and got it on digg.
http://twitter.com/ADoubleRainbow
LOL. I love you Twitter. It's like watching a bunch of down syndrome spider monkeys all shriek about how they can play the grand piano.
Lately I've been wanting to set up a "retarded tweets hall of fame" to supplement the "retarded emails hall of fame."
jrobbiAug 17, 2010
HEY HEY!
Don't insult spider monkeys with down syndrome like that, not cool. I will now personally boycott all of your comics from not on!
/twitter
fifteenstepperAug 17, 2010
I thought Twitards were retarded Twilight fans.
(i.e. Twilight fans)
thenicklovinAug 17, 2010
Marge! Come quick! THE OATSMALE IS ON THE COMPOOTER!
gibsonicAug 17, 2010
do a comic comparing various twitards to the various forms of feces. (e.g., goat poop, cow manure, bird poop)
not copyrighted. open source. public domain idea. use to your twisted hearts content.
recruzAug 17, 2010
How about we call them "twidiots"
fifteenstepperAug 17, 2010
Oh, and thanks for teaching me the difference between "e.g." and "i.e."
fuzzynyankoAug 18, 2010
Calling someone a thief but having a name like ADoubleRainbow...
jake1337Aug 18, 2010
HOOKER FORT
whorenyAug 18, 2010
I'm all for dehumanizing whores that have no respect for themselves, but I don't like this attitude of yours.
poonchowAug 18, 2010
Yo man that video was so awesome i bet oatmael saw it and was all like s**t i need to steal this s**t because its going to be amazing . yeah it only has 450 views and like almost half of them were because of this thred but comon that was super hilarious i mean its a hooker fort! what the helL!
/s
calliganAug 18, 2010
Oatmeal,
You are the funniest f**king person on the internet since seanbaby,
Thanks
boyprodigy1Aug 18, 2010
Nonsense!!! Your hooker fort was made of hookers. His was a fort for the sole purpose of fornicating with hookers within the walls of said fort. There is absolutely NO correlation between the two.
stackeredAug 18, 2010
Way overusing the word retarded man... makes you sound like a complete tool, reminds me of guidos over here in NJ. You are a clever guy but your choice of language isn't always well planned. Anyway go ahead Digg me down.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
atarioAug 18, 2010
I have a surefire way of handling this sort of thing. Step one: never ever use Twitter. There is no step two.
cglassAug 18, 2010
I really enjoy your comics Oatmeal, but I have to disagree with your analysis of the Hooker Fort video.
Yes it wasn't very funny, but it was catchy!
Hooker FORT!
I don't even know what that means! :DComment is buried, click here to see the rest.
saorokAug 18, 2010
That guy from hooker fort is trying to hard to a)be Jon Lajoie and b) be funny. OATMEAL FTW
recruzAug 18, 2010
Correct use of i.e. and e.g. in the same comment thread! Nice work diggers! Double Props to The Oatmeal for effectively teaching it!
bal00Aug 17, 2010
I was expecting to read something like this in the comments here, because the comic does seem a little mean-spirited and disrespectful in a bumfights sort of way. Bit disappointed tbh.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
vbullingerAug 17, 2010
Is this idiot trying to say that these tasks are somehow more demeaning than being paid to do the most sickening and depraving things known to man?
Sex workers dehumanized themselves.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
bipolarruledoutAug 17, 2010
One persons "sickening and depraving" is another's Saturday night.
aeroboyAug 18, 2010
They're paid to have sex. How is that "sickening and depraving" again?
amaoicanAug 17, 2010
Hookers are good people. Some of them. I don't know that they would or should be offended by your comic (I'm thinking... no. In for the rose, in for the thorn) but let's make sure we're not demonizing anyone for pursuing their competitive advantage.
gr00verAug 17, 2010
..well she DOES have a GREAT sense of humour.
salinemistAug 18, 2010
As if a Canadian social worker would appreciate the hard work you put into making your business thrive.
startsomething7Aug 18, 2010
I don't get it.
Using a hooker for sex is perfect.
Using a hooker for something other than a sex object is not cool?
shan21Aug 18, 2010
It is a little offensive, Oatmeal. I still love you though.
mimimiaouAug 18, 2010
Glad I'm not the only one. -_-
holygodAug 17, 2010
Dear oatmeal,
Please send sample of whatever drug you are on.
Thank You
tehclaw14Aug 18, 2010
I don't understand why youre being buried
hersheyskwertzAug 17, 2010
This account has been closed by the user
spazattack5000Aug 17, 2010
I just realized how funny it would be to bring a hooker over and take her into a couch fort.
thecoinmanAug 17, 2010
I actually realized it right when I read it in the comic. Guess some of us get to the point faster ;)
tomtutsAug 18, 2010
G.I.s with benefits
skyjis6Aug 17, 2010
6 - intercourse
ryanwbAug 17, 2010
I would send a hooker to do traffic school for me! The oldest profession needs to diversify!
mhugginsAug 17, 2010
Oh good, more spam from this spammer.
guitarhero0961Aug 17, 2010
Its not spam if its awesome, which this is 98% of the time.
mhugginsAug 18, 2010
Spelled awful wrong...and 100% wrong too.
illepicAug 18, 2010
Reported mhuggins for spam.
ingenuseAug 17, 2010
Oh Oatmeal, how I love you.
A delicacy as always :)
cbergstromAug 17, 2010
As much as I love The Oatmeal, this was a bit below par. Whore Mountain was pretty funny though. Keep writing and drawing, Oatmeal, and I'll keep reading and buying stuff!
guitarhero0961Aug 17, 2010
The fact that most of it wasn't really funny at all made me laugh even harder at Whore Mountain.
cbergstromAug 18, 2010
You know.. it occurs to me... below par is good.
I guess I meant above par. A solid bogey.
hurrayforschoolAug 17, 2010
Hobos are cheaper and tell better stories.
ryanwbAug 17, 2010
...and they will fight to the death for my amusement all for the cost of a 30 pack of Old Milwaukee (unleash the beast!)
r3m1x645Aug 17, 2010
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bumfights
alx359Aug 17, 2010
boyish humor.
If she's not moaning, you're doing it wrong.
kicker58Aug 17, 2010
just awesome maybe the best one yet!
surkitAug 17, 2010
So you have the money to get a hooker, but not to buy a Wii, or at least a lamecube?
arschgaudiAug 17, 2010
Did you not see the first panel? He has the Wii, he just needed a fourth player.
Do I need to hire a hooker to explain things to you?
guitarhero0961Aug 17, 2010
There is a 100% chance that that was an N64
langcastleAug 17, 2010
Reminds me of that Arrest Development episode when Lindsay went to Bob Loblaw's house dressed as a french maid.....
pagangodAug 17, 2010
Those are some chubby hookers. I thought meth was supposed to make you skinny?
bipolarruledoutAug 17, 2010
Believe it or not there are in fact fat tweakers. Just go to walmart.
x9002Aug 17, 2010
Hey you know you can f**k them too right?
arschgaudiAug 17, 2010
Sex is three minutes. A cool fort can last the whole afternoon.
redassassin7Aug 18, 2010
Diseases. Do not want.
m0og0oAug 17, 2010
i dugg just for the title
fredpilotAug 17, 2010
I ♥ oatmeal
chief1983Aug 17, 2010
She'll be cummin' round whore mountain when she cums...
Closed AccountAug 18, 2010
She'll be riding 6 white wall street bankers when she cums...
pegritzAug 17, 2010
HOOKER JOUSTING! Oh, dear gods...the next weekend that I have too much money left from my paycheck and nothing much to do....
FPSmotoAug 17, 2010
If I were a woman, I would totally do The Oatmeal. I mean he even loves TFC!
vbullingerAug 17, 2010
You know how I know you're gay?
zzzblazAug 18, 2010
القيام بأعمال أو مجرد استخدام ديج كل يوم?
zzzblazAug 18, 2010
Aren't smart enough to read Arabic are you Vince? The translator won't help you here, I'm sorry. It has a hard time with Masriya.
Closed AccountAug 17, 2010
I don't really get people that post up complaining about so and so's regular comic post isn't up to par. Seriously, not every post can be knock your socks of, lol till your balls turn into snakes hilarious. Sometimes a brief juxtaposition of the absurd is enough to bring a spot of levity to the day.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
lukas1051Aug 17, 2010
Using hookers to play Mario Kart is fine and all, but I'm looking for someone to play Expert Bass in my Guitar Hero band, and most hookers just don't put out.
wiseguy1020Aug 17, 2010
Anyone seen Jim Jefferies?
"Four floors of whores."
Sounded like a fun place.
npiernoAug 17, 2010
does anyone else feel a bit guilty or am i the only panzy in here?
rockynAug 17, 2010
Whores know exactly what they are doing. Don't feel bad. They don't feel bad for you.
johnagainAug 17, 2010
Other thoughts:
Carpool buddy
Watch the kids
Buy booze (if you are underage)
Attend "Mom and Me" night with you (if your mom is dead / missing / just an ass)
Be a positive reference on your resume.
Jerk off your purebred dog so you can sell the sperm to breeders. (cheaper than having a vet do it)
Wait in line for tickets for (??) so you don't have to.
simonmasonAug 17, 2010
I don't have time to go into why you're not funny, can't draw, and use over-exaggerated imagery to pander to the lowest common denominator, but just know that you are not those things, and do those other things. Oh, by the way. Carson Daily, HAHAHAHAH.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
stickyheadAug 17, 2010
4 Player mario kart is amazing, especially when you get a lightning bolt.
gameboyhippoAug 18, 2010
12 Player online Mario Kart is better.
eupatorusAug 18, 2010
It is truly a fine moment when you can time the lightning bolt perfectly and send all 3 opponents off the edge.
hallo457Aug 17, 2010
Oatmeal and hookers. Prepare for front page!
jerkstore99Aug 17, 2010
Seriously? You drew this and thought, "I can't wait to put this online!" This was f**king awful.
tadmcAug 18, 2010
You must be my guitarist.
corbinm1226Aug 17, 2010
okay, I love the Oatmeal, but this just honestly wasnt funny.
prepare for burial from oatmeal ball-garglers
ausdiggerAug 17, 2010
agree mate.
specially having a go at whores.
What would the world do without them?
lethargicmonkeyAug 17, 2010
I MAY GARGLE OATMEAL BALLS BUT WHORE MOUNTAIN IS FUNNY GOD DAMN IT
blackhole82Aug 18, 2010
i liked the bit about mario kart but that was about it
kwcarpenterAug 18, 2010
It wasn't my favorite oatmeal comic, but I laughed.