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elitebeatJul 6, 2010
DON’T: Use a Silly Screen Name
Are HR people really that shallow that they will through your resume in the trash if they think you aren't cool.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
bci84Jul 7, 2010
It's not about being cool, its about being professional.
traumapwniesJul 7, 2010
I really do not understand this concept. I mean, I get that people want others to look professional and all... But really, what does it matter? What does your email address have to do with how effective an employee you are?
Why do they care about something so irrelevant?
(I'm not trolling or anything, I genuinely don't understand people :/)Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
timmyftwJul 7, 2010
Trauma, you cannot possibly be that dense. Say a mild mannered HR manager is reading two resumes. The email on the first is firstname.lastname@gmail.com while the second is hott_little_bitch@hotmail.com. Can you not see the difference there? All a HR manager has to go on is your resume. It is the one thing that will get you an interview or get your resume dumped in a bin. If you don't take what you put on your resume seriously, then a HR manager isn't going to treat you seriously.
traumapwniesJul 7, 2010
Please don't insult me.
But, why would that matter in the slightest? What is not serious about using "hott_little_bitch@hotmail.com"? HOW THE f**k DOES IT AFFECT YOUR SKILLS AS AN EMPLOYEEComment is buried, click here to see the rest.
therealricoJul 7, 2010
Trauma, it could say something about your maturity level, and your ability to use common sense. It doesn't necessarily affect your abilities, but somsone who has that screen name and doesn't have the common sense to change it, could bring that kind of inappropriate behavior into the workplace. It is pretty obvious man!
traumapwniesJul 7, 2010
But are people really that thick as to think that everyone else would be an asexual automaton?
People are confusing :S
traumapwniesJul 7, 2010
Whatever, drouk1556. f**k Digg. I ask a serious question and you all vote me down and accuse me of trolling. Some people actually do struggle with social things such as this. f**k you all.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
kevinmaloneJul 7, 2010
When a HR manager has only the resume to make a decision on, any little thing will send the resume to file 13.
covertbadgerJul 7, 2010
@TraumaPwnies
"I ask a serious question and you all vote me down and accuse me of trolling"
No, you're being dugg down because you keep asking the same asinine question despite having it explained you to repeatedly, with examples. People only have so much patience, and you've used up your share.
darklich14Jul 7, 2010
Yes.
scabnabbitJul 7, 2010
Your peers are that "shallow" too.
(Written by someone who was part of a hiring committee at work.)
Definitely keep it professional. It's not like there aren't email addresses to create.
weprinJul 7, 2010
Yes.
Though it won't be discarded because you "aren't cool;" it will be because you aren't professional.
zoshchenkoJul 6, 2010
"Hiring experts"? There's no such thing. The people who say they are hiring experts are really just people who charge other people for giving them common sense recommendations that anybody with half a brain should know to do anyway. They write books, publish blogs, appear on radio and TV shows - but they do NOTHING to help anybody actually get a job.
supferretsJul 7, 2010
This is the most ignorant thing I've read today. Ever worked in human resources? No? My dad works as the VP of HR for a major aerospace company, and his job revolves around hiring expertise - knowing what to look for in resumes, potential employees, etc. I learned everything I know about how to land a job from him, because he knows EXACTLY what employers look for.
zoshchenkoJul 8, 2010
Maybe your dad was the exception. Most HR people only have the power to say "no." They can't actually hire anyone, just pass along someone who they think might fit the bill. But they aren't acting on their own evaluations. They are trying to out-guess the person up the ladder to whom they must pass the candidate. It's safer to say "no" to everyone and claim they just haven't come across the right person yet and will keep trying. Built-in job security. The minute they risk passing someone along, they open the door to ridicule. "How could you possibly think this person was qualified?" So, again, HR people are mostly nothing but glorified powerless gatekeepers.
gsny88Jul 7, 2010
Do: Include Time Person of the Year 2006 on all your resumes.
I've done it with every job I've interviewed and it always gets a positive chuckle.
mindsnare1Jul 7, 2010
And how many jobs this this get you?
kibblesnbittsJul 7, 2010
I don't know, but a positive chuckle is always always good.
tacojohn48Jul 7, 2010
Probably more than writing like that has gotten you.
em94115Jul 7, 2010
I've seen a few people put that down. At first I thought it was a bit clever and I chuckled, but after the third resume it's more like, oh here's another guy who probably read the same blog/site/comment where they tell you to include Time Person of the Year 2006. Because hey, if you fill in random quirky facts in your resume it totally makes up for the empty spaces under skills or job experience and it will make you look like a fun and quirky guy.
bjornskiJul 7, 2010
I'm sure it's a mandatory entry on the resume of many a hipster.
jedipilotJul 7, 2010
What about a negative chuckle?
honukaiJul 7, 2010
They all seem like pretty obvious things that any reasonable person wouldn't need to be told. Theres one odd point: Between telling you not to report unrelated experience and not to pad your resume. Theres a lot of indirect experience that can come from jobs.
lnxfiJul 7, 2010
I have had the same job for 7 years. I am leaving soon (hopefully). Two things I listed beyond job history (since I have only 1 professional job ever) is Professional Achievements (non day to day stuff, but things that are notable) and Recent Seminars attended (ongoing learning). I hope they are not bad things to do. It's all really a crap shoot.
zipkoJul 7, 2010
Those are good if related to the position you're applying for. Your resume doesn't have to be just work experience if you have other quality items to list.
For example, while the article says not to list personal hobbies, it is acceptable to do so if those hobbies are directly related to the position. Such as someone applying to be a pilot listing that he built his own airplane as a hobby.
If you're weak on work experience, it can help to have a section labeled Applicable Skills or such, and list things such as training seminars you've gone to or job related skills you're proficient at.
pantone109Jul 7, 2010
11. If all of your former bosses want to kill you - you are probably not going to get call back.
timmyftwJul 7, 2010
You must be a real assh**e if all your former employers wish you dead.
pantone109Jul 7, 2010
I totally am. The funny part is I will show up on time every single day and kill myself to do a good job and work like a f**king madman for about two years and then the boss will blow up at me for some random retarded s**t (because he takes me for granted) and talk s**t to me and I will just f**king walk out. It has happened about 5 times since 1999. The moral of the story is either work for yourself or learn to suck your bosses c**k or you will be looking for a job every 2 years. Needless to say - I am looking for a job. :-) BTW I hate scrubs.
covertbadgerJul 7, 2010
"The moral of the story is either work for yourself or learn to suck your bosses c**k"
No, the moral of the story is not to throw your rattle out of your pram and quit just because your boss has a go at you. He could be having a bad day, might have misunderstood something, be having trouble at home, or any number of other reasons good or bad for shouting at you, and if you didn't overreact so much you might not be in your current position.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
brucealmightyJul 7, 2010
11. Omit all references to time spent incarcerated. Instead describe the gap as a "sabbatical" undertaken for reasons of personal growth.
lnxfiJul 7, 2010
This is relevant information as my boss is a complete jackass. Hires his wife, then son... it is absolute hell. f**king assh**e I say. Anyway, I will give this much consideration since I have to rewrite my resume after I accidentally washed my flash drive... =(Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
vodd9Jul 7, 2010
tl;dr:
DO: use common sense
DON'T: not use common sense
raidy11moonJul 7, 2010
ohh man im so confused
luciddr34m3rJul 7, 2010
Also, don't use double negatives.
darklich14Jul 7, 2010
I agree with most of those points, but I think for newer more progressive-thinking companies, some brief touches on personal interests can generate some hiring interest. You want to know if your employees are going to be well rounded, and this is one place you can get insight into whether your candidate uses free time to melt their brains watching television or is a leader in some sort of bike-riding community. It's not necessarily that bike riding or watching TV will hurt or help their professional performance -- it's more that you can gauge whether you're dealing with a leader/follower/self-starter/introvert/extrovert/etc.
notoneofusJul 7, 2010
As long as the interests section doesn't take half a page and at least touches on things you believe an employer would find interesting, I would include it. I've always had interests brought up in interviews; they make starting a conversation easier.
barcardiJul 7, 2010
DON'T: Join careerbuilder. It has turned from a useful website to a spam site. The most they will get you is into a temp agency.
homercles337Jul 7, 2010
I use Indeed.com ...
zombiesocietyJul 7, 2010
As do I. But, as time goes on, slowly I realize a job site isn't something you should "use," only something you should "have used." Within the next few days I'm going to give up and take classes for something. I'm tired of this s**t.
Closed AccountJul 7, 2010
ZS - try linkedin. I had almost zero luck through job boards, but by networking and connecting with real people, and not Human Resources black holes, I've gotten a number of offers. Do some googling on different websites that discuss using linkedin to find a job, and go from there.
Closed AccountJul 7, 2010
Careerbuilder is f**king terrible. Even after having deleted my contact details from the site, I get more careerbuilder scam job spam than viagra and real estate spam combined. Horrible, horrible website.
momegaoJul 7, 2010
Don't put your resume on a 10 pages article, sucks clicking. (I know I can use a plugin for firefox)
Closed AccountJul 7, 2010
I was going to say exactly the same thing. I tossed this article after the first page...
madcaps1980Jul 7, 2010
One of the best courses I took in college was a Career Development class. Knowing how to properly construct a resume and how to conduct yourself during an interview are priceless pieces of information that can land you a good job.
pharmaphoxJul 7, 2010
The typo in the sentence about having someone check your resume was a nice touch.
pabloriveraJul 7, 2010
LOL that person still uses AOL
mindsnare1Jul 7, 2010
Tip Number One - Never hand in a resume - Stay self employed!
honukaiJul 7, 2010
I think those aren't bad things to list. I list several courses I've attended through work. It shows that you are willing to improve yourself.
Closed AccountJul 7, 2010
What if you're not willing to improve yourself?
honukaiJul 7, 2010
Well that tells the hiring person something too.
kzamJul 7, 2010
so no pictures of my penis to woo the interviewer. That was my only hope.
jordanlgtaJul 7, 2010
I wrote my resume and got my dream job this year. I didn't need help from a website either.
"Please read this article and click "NEXT" ten times so we can get 10x the hits and more ad revenue."
williemainJul 7, 2010
adBlock plus, son.
jordanlgtaJul 7, 2010
Stay off the drugs..... dad?
williemainJul 7, 2010
you must have edited your post. when I read it you said something about clicking a number of times to produce revenue for the site. I was just telling you to use adBlock plus so they get no revenue for wasting your time, dick!Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
Closed AccountJul 7, 2010
How's that dream job coming along? You onto the chicken mcnuggets yet?
pimpdawgJul 7, 2010
DON'T: overuse the caps lock.
falldogJul 7, 2010
Wow, those "pro tips" read a lot like obvious tips.
evanftJul 7, 2010
Protip: Fire at the demon to kill it.
pharmaphoxJul 7, 2010
Protip: Many, many people will miss the very obvious....
mctom987Jul 7, 2010
I don't get it.
williemainJul 7, 2010
dumb article
bjornskiJul 7, 2010
But yet better than many of the resumes being handed in.
gsny88Jul 7, 2010
More than your sarcastic comment would imply. If you apply to an industry that has a sense of humor or any kind of tech/geek sensibility it comes off as fairly wry. However, if your interviewer/company your applying to has a stick up their ass about it then why would you wanna work there in the first place.
bjornskiJul 7, 2010
"Well, the H.R. person was mean, so the developers and owner, they must be real assh**es! I'm glad they didn't hire me."
Closed AccountJul 7, 2010
Six-word summary: Be relevant, concise, honest, and professional.
zombiesocietyJul 7, 2010
Also, trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent.
taiboJul 7, 2010
this ain't the boy scouts
bmpovojvodaJul 7, 2010
resume barely matters. I have an excellent resume and very attractive cover letter but I haven't gotten any interviews yet after 2 months.
airnikeJul 7, 2010
but thats because you have a felony for touching little boys. Sick-o.
allisonv12Jul 7, 2010
This account has been closed by the user
bertqbJul 7, 2010
12. Don't send it to McDonalds
bunopeteJul 7, 2010
But I was such a good fluffer!
lhbakerJul 7, 2010
Get a recruiter. Let somebody else sell your skills. If you get the job and you don't like it, get out. If you like it, try to go full time.
jeffwmartinJul 7, 2010
"DON’T: Make Simple Spelling Mistakes"
I think they meant "DON'T: Make ANY Spelling Mistakes"
If I find any spelling error on a resume, simple or not, it goes straight to the "no" pile.
zombiesocietyJul 7, 2010
I find this to be true, yet, at the same time, I look at some of the morons in this world that have jobs and wonder how they made it this far and I haven't.
Closed AccountJul 7, 2010
It really is who you know. I don't think I've ever gotten a single job aside from maybe one early in college that didn't have to do with having a connection.
Sometimes less qualified people know someone who knows the boss. I worked for a temp agency, and if ANYBODY in the building knew an applicant we'd put them at the top of the list for jobs. That kind of sucked, because I saw people with far better resumes get filed away in favor of the accountant's cousin.
kyanJul 7, 2010
I dunno, I find a complicated spelling mistake is a good conversation starter.
leparsdonJul 7, 2010
i always chuckle when i see people actually put down their hobbies and interest on a resume..i doubt a potential employer cares if you sing falsetto or can do an irish accent at your local theater
bjornskiJul 7, 2010
You might be surprised.
Closed AccountJul 7, 2010
I want info from the bottom of the barrel hiring experts, people that are everyday HR people hiring for small companies and very basic jobs. Nobody needs advice from people that are hiring $200k a year employees.
allisonv12Jul 7, 2010
This account has been closed by the user
mcwhitebreadJul 7, 2010
Here you go-
DO YOUR HOMEWORK.
A cover letter is a BUSINESS PROPOSAL.
The sign over the shoe store says "SHOES FOR SALE"
You walk in and ask for the manager and say:
"Hi! My name is ___________. I'd like to help you sell some shoes."
If you don't have RECENT experience selling shoes (based on the current market/economic climate), you better bring guns-a-blazin' as to why (in your cover letter) YOU are the guy in the white hat that can sell shoes like no-one else based on your TRANSFERABLE and ADAPTIVE skills.
Good Luck!
zoso1132Jul 7, 2010
Read: "10 Resume Tips for Morons Who Don't Know Better."
kevinmaloneJul 7, 2010
DO let syntaxgs proofread/write your resume.
ricksiteJul 7, 2010
List your skills. Like...HTML, CSS Javascript, C++, etc... Many companies use software to read resumes and they are looking for keywords.
baniJul 7, 2010
this may also seem obvious but...
DON'T LIE.
seriously. it amazes me how many people put "HTTP" or "TCP/IP" in their resume and are unable to answer "what is an http 200 response code" or "what is the difference between tcp and udp".
dave122Jul 7, 2010
Don't put skills that are really just small amounts of referential data that anyone can look up in 30 seconds.
richmomzJul 7, 2010
Here's a more current (flash) game: "Oiligarchy". Exploit the resource of other countries, buy off politicians, and send in soldiers to suppress annoying foreign countries that are opposed to your expansion! Have fun ;)
http://www.gameshot.org/?id=3048Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
richmomzJul 7, 2010
Oops, posted under wrong story, lol. Bury away.
Closed AccountJul 7, 2010
Amazing how learning Shakespeare is mandatory in most US high school whilst learning how to write a resume is not.
pantone109Jul 7, 2010
I totally am. The funny part is I will show up on time every single day and kill myself to do a good job and work like a mexican for about two years and then the boss will blow up at me and talk s**t to me and I will just f**king walk out. It has happened about 6 times since 1999. The moral of the story is either work for yourself or learn to suck your bosses c**k. Period.
yougotmikelopezJul 7, 2010
Bag the resume. Its time to grab a ski mask and a hand gun!
grabateJul 7, 2010
10 tips and not one of is the one if them is don't lie on your resume.
andrew84Jul 7, 2010
Not defending this s**tty list but...
#8 DON’T: Falsely Inflate Your Resume
thefashionguruJul 7, 2010
Don't use a silly voicemail message, and use keywords on your resume!
rwshillingJul 7, 2010
These tips don't mean much if your only experience in the workforce is career day in Highschool...
marriemaJul 7, 2010
The resume should be detailed and project your skills
pimpdawgJul 7, 2010
DO: point out your current H-1B or L-1 visa status. It will put your resume ahead of the more expensive residents & citizens.
vvcepheiJul 7, 2010
Don't lie?
Seriously.. that's not even possible in todays world. What about 18 year olds who are too young to have any ACTUAL experience anywhere and just want a job in retail... do you know how competitive retail can be? Ofcourse you'll lie when applying there.Comment is buried, click here to see the rest.
Closed AccountJul 7, 2010
Resume: Figure out the color scheme, and font that the company you're applying to utilizes. Use these for formatting your resume.
praeliorJul 7, 2010
This actually sounds pretty interesting... definitely make you stand out, given that it is a normal font and reasonable color scheme.
nepidaeJul 7, 2010
Your network >>>>> your resume. Even if you never had a full time job your network, based on people you know, family, friends of family, etc is >>>>> a piece of paper (and that includes your diploma too). To be honest sometimes I care more about the number of spelling mistakes in a resume than the actual (most likely fabricated) content of it. Until I talk to you and have you explain it in your own words its all just fiction.
airnikeJul 7, 2010
PROTIP: Smoke a blunt with your buddy who is a manager at a local hotel. After ask him for a job when he's really geeked, then repeat.
pshumanJul 7, 2010
"DON’T: Include Personal Information"
I disagree on this one. Including a little something can give the appearance of someone with a well balanced life. It also gives the interviewer something less serious to chat about for a few minutes of the interview. Use common sense and don't go overboard.
I landed a job once in large part because a couple of my hobbies/activities overlapped with the aspects of the job I was applying for.
dkvijayAug 23, 2010
A fresher resume format guide line to students applying for employment and new career path.
http://sample-resumes-plus.com/fresher/fresher-resume/