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The 10 Most Terrifyingly Inspirational '80s Songs

cracked.com — Great music can inspire us to do anything: love one another, protest an unjust war, make sweet, sweet love to a large black man in the 1970s. But in the '80s there were a series of songs that inspired us to kick ass in every way possible. None inspired more ass kicking than these.

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  • vta2311, on 10/29/2007, -1/+15I am definitely making a CD out of these songs...
    • codered1322, on 10/30/2007, -1/+22What's a CD?
      • Yez70, on 10/29/2007, -0/+10I sold a few LPs on eBay last week. I went to OfficeMax to get LP shipping cartons. The girl looked at me as if I was delusional. She had never heard of an LP. Even after simplifying my description to '12 inch plastic CDs with music on them' she still didn't understand what I was talking about...
        I left the store without my shipping cartons. I feel really old now.
        • Modulo, on 11/01/2007, -0/+2She probably knows what a vinyl record is, she probably just hadn't heard it referred to as an LP. Don't panic grandpa.
    • Goblin, on 10/30/2007, -0/+8It's what music came on before it was free.
    • brjndr, on 10/29/2007, -0/+4If you want the full effect it has to be a cassette tape.
  • pedrovoltaire, on 10/29/2007, -0/+3http://www.last.fm/music/Kenny+Loggins/_/Meet+Me+H ...

    the 80's... what good times.
  • kspangle57, on 10/29/2007, -7/+4This list wants to make you F something up and then go home and F. Ahh life's two greatest things Fighting and Fing
    • AndrewDB, on 01/10/2008, -2/+5w t F....?
    • mysteri0usdrx, on 10/30/2007, -1/+6two things you will never be on the giving end of, I'm afraid...
    • tdhurst, on 10/29/2007, -2/+4kspangle57, you are an IDIOT.

      But thanks for trying.
  • lexf, on 10/30/2007, -0/+21I don't know what #1 is. Before I could get that far, I had to go out and woo several dozen busty women while flexing my muscles. ROCK!
  • torrzilla, on 10/30/2007, -0/+12I definitely want to do some ass kicking now that I have "You're the Best" stuck in my head again.
    • krets, on 10/25/2007, -0/+6DANIEL LARUSO'S GONNA FIGHT!
    • Gir53457, on 10/26/2007, -0/+5Bonnie Tyler make me feel like I could win the battle of Helm's Deep alone.
    • Hypermarkalan, on 10/25/2007, -0/+3Sweep the leg. Do you have a problem with that?
    • boonesfarm, on 10/25/2007, -0/+4Are there any doubts as to why the Russians surrendered in the 80s? It was our Rock! Hell, they are still overcome by it - it's all they listen to over there.
    • MagiTekSoldier, on 10/25/2007, -0/+1GET 'EM A BODY BAG! YEAH!
  • bytor4232, on 10/25/2007, -1/+9Foreigner FTW (before they sucked)
  • thePoopSmith, on 10/26/2007, -3/+11What about "You've Got the Touch" from the Transformers Movie??? Or the Highlander Theme???
  • bluesnowmonkey, on 10/25/2007, -14/+6I am so tired of this top 10 *****. 10 greats songs, 5 ways to be smarter, 15 things women love in bed. I know to eat chickpeas and spend more time on foreplay. Now shut the ***** up already.
    • dwninjungleland, on 10/25/2007, -1/+16Lists: what cracked DOES. If you don't like it, don't follow the link, and don't read em! Oh wait, but you still will... and then post another comment complaining about how sick you are of them... NICE.
      • bluesnowmonkey, on 10/25/2007, -4/+4If I had a problem with lists on Cracked, I would have posted a complaint on Cracked.

        Your move.
    • unknamed, on 10/26/2007, -0/+6Of course you are completely disregarding the fact (yes, I said fact) that this was a really well written article.
    • Cenobite, on 10/25/2007, -0/+3Pro tip: If it says something like "Top 10" or "10 Most" in the title, it's probably going to be a list. Anyway, don't harsh my vibe, man. These are some righteous tunes!
  • cyrusaman, on 10/25/2007, -2/+8The list is missing "The Touch," by Stan Bush, from the Transformers (animated) soundtrack.
  • lukasmach, on 10/24/2007, -1/+4Reminds me of Barneys CD (from How I Met Your Mother).
  • bigbill780, on 10/30/2007, -0/+27Im pretty sure I could run a marathon if I had these 10 repeating on my ipod.
  • burstaneurysm, on 11/02/2007, -0/+18Final Countdown rules.
    • gllopc, on 10/24/2007, -1/+8Dituh-doo-dooooo! Dituh-d-d-doo!
    • salinemist, on 10/24/2007, -0/+1As does Laibach's cover of it.
    • freakk123, on 11/02/2007, -0/+2It makes me think of Gob on arrested development. Which, of course, is a glorious thing.
  • dulymachine, on 10/30/2007, -0/+15This is one of the best written pieces of humor I've seen in a long time. Dugg especially since it almost idolizes an entire decade I wish never happened to me, and nearly has me convinced.
  • Spartandog, on 10/25/2007, -13/+0Ugh. Big-haired boring power-chord rock. Glad the 80's are over.
    • sgtpppr, on 10/26/2007, -1/+10The emo section is in back by the razor blades.
  • codered1322, on 10/30/2007, -0/+21I was expecting, once again, another lackluster top ten list on Digg. But they did a great job with that one, even the order was dead on.
  • Sangermaine, on 10/30/2007, -0/+20No Rock You Like A Hurricane? The bitch is hungry...
    • unknamed, on 10/25/2007, -0/+4Agreed, how can getting rocked like a freakin' hurricane not inspire you to kick some serious ass?
  • Moriarty, on 10/26/2007, -7/+2No Kansas?!? Carry On My wayward son.......there'll be peace when you are done.....
  • Pblock, on 10/24/2007, -0/+2I just got off cracked.com reading this and I come to digg and see this on the front page... I love it.
  • jserio, on 10/24/2007, -8/+1Where's Nena on that list with "99 Red Baloons"?
    • sgtpppr, on 10/24/2007, -0/+3Did you read the title of the article?
      • jserio, on 10/24/2007, -0/+1OK. IN that case, where's "Invincible" from Pat Benetar. Much better than Love is a Battlefield.
  • RollFizzlebeef, on 11/02/2007, -0/+16I think "Never Surrender" by Corey Hart was at the end of a Cold Case episode recently.
    That dude was so badass, he wore his sunglasses at NIGHT.
  • gllopc, on 10/24/2007, -7/+1The problem with most of these songs is that they are in a major key. As the world grows more cynical, these songs sound too uplifting and thus stupid.
    • kernel16, on 10/25/2007, -1/+5This world needs these songs now more then ever~
      • gllopc, on 10/24/2007, -0/+1Ha! Wait - you were being serious. Okay.
  • Kenzan, on 10/30/2007, -0/+30At least 80's music beats the current whiney-ass no talent commercialist schlock that the RIAA rams down our collective earholes each week.
    • Clp727, on 10/25/2007, -0/+4I would digg you twice if I could!
    • snapper27613, on 10/26/2007, -0/+0It is a bunch of crap, goes along with the crappy TV shows too - bunch of non singers to go with the non actors. I'd rather listen to the 80s while watching the Brady Bunch or the Partridge Family any day!
  • ginjuro, on 10/25/2007, -0/+6Not a big fan of top 10 lists, but this one rocks! Well played, sir.
    • ginjuro, on 10/25/2007, -0/+3Just occurred to me that two songs are missing: Modern Day Cowboy by Tesla and Welcome to the Jungle by G&R. Otherwise, killer.
      • jserio, on 10/26/2007, -1/+1OK. IN that case, where's "Invincible" from Pat Benetar. Much better than Love is a Battlefield.
  • wonderwood, on 10/25/2007, -0/+6This piece of "literature," yes, LITERATURE, is Awesome, possibly even tubular! Rad! and any other 80's jargon you can think up! Good Job Cracked.com!
  • DiggDroog, on 10/25/2007, -0/+2The description of "You're the best" is the best
  • orca94, on 10/25/2007, -0/+3***** yeah! The Final Countdown!
  • volcomjerk, on 10/25/2007, -0/+6That was one of the best reads I've had in a long time. Hilarious and all the information was well put together with youtube videos!
  • Stormwysper, on 10/24/2007, -0/+1History repeats itself.

    Wha?
  • ZenMojo, on 10/30/2007, -0/+9If people ask why kids these days are such wusses, all I have to ask is, "Where the ***** is their Eye of the Tiger?" Even "I need a hero" made me want to elbow-slam the kid sitting next to me during Shrek 2.
  • ucbluman, on 10/24/2007, -0/+3i can't listen to The Final Countdown anymore without thinking of (and subsequently busting a gut to) Gob and his stupid pre-trick antics.
    • Gorrondonuts, on 10/24/2007, -0/+1Thats because GOB is a badass.
    • x0epyon0x, on 10/25/2007, -0/+1They aren't "pre-trick antics", ucbluman. They're pre-ILLUSION antics!
  • brjndr, on 10/24/2007, -7/+2Try to be best
    ‘Cause you’re only a man
    And a man’s gotta learn to take it

    Try to believe
    Though the going gets rough
    That you gotta hang tough to make it

    History repeats itself
    Try and you’ll succeed

    Never doubt that you’re the one
    And you can have your dreams!

    You’re the best!
    Around!
    Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
    You’re the Best!
    Around!
    Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
    You’re the Best!
    Around!
    Nothing’s gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ow-own

    Fight ‘til the end
    Cause your life will depend
    On the strength that you have inside you

    Ah you gotta be proud
    starin’ out in the cloud
    When the odds in the game defy you

    Try your best to win them all
    and one day time will tell
    when you’re the one that’s standing there
    you’ll reach the final bell!

    You’re the best!
    Around!
    Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
    You’re the Best!
    Around!
    Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
    You’re the Best!
    Around!
    Nothing’s gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ho-how-ho-own

    INSPIRING GUITAR SOLO

    You’re the best!
    Around!
    Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
    You’re the Best!
    Around!
    Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
    You’re the Best!
    Around!
    Nothing’s gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ow-own

    Fight ‘til you drop
    never stop
    can’t give up
    Til you reach the top (FIGHT!)
    you’re the best in town (FIGHT!)
    Listen to that sound
    A little bit of all you got
    Can never bring you down

    You’re the best!
    Around!
    Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
    You’re the Best!
    Around!

    repeat to fade, occasional background shouts of “Oh Ye-eah!”
    • KniteWulf, on 10/24/2007, -0/+4You're the worst....aroooound! Everyone's gonna digg you doooown...
      • brjndr, on 10/24/2007, -0/+1I know I'm not the only one who wanted to sing the song. I needed the lyrics, all I could remember was the chorus.

        The chorus is great, but you need that little buildup at the beginning.
  • linksdeity, on 10/25/2007, -1/+1I would add...

    Days Like These - Asia
    The Secret of My Success - Night Ranger
  • chugger1992, on 10/25/2007, -0/+6Finally a top 10 music list where I know all the songs.
  • neodorian, on 10/25/2007, -0/+3Ever notice how the Gauntlet music is almost the same as Final Countdown?
  • dustblaaze, on 11/02/2007, -0/+3I have to nominate Burning Heart and Hearts on Fire from the Rocky IV soundtrack.
    • logosx1, on 10/25/2007, -0/+0Good ones, but don't forget the Training Montage by Vince DiCola (i.e., when Rocky starts running through the snow). That song will power you through a barrage of bullets.
  • brotherfigure, on 10/25/2007, -4/+1This list without any Springsteen, Mellencamp, Tom Petty, or Twisted Sister is all kinds of suck and fail.

    Props to the folks who added Stan Bush.
  • natedouglas, on 10/25/2007, -9/+1I feel like I stumbled into a latent homosexual convention.
  • Flarble, on 10/26/2007, -0/+6whew, I need a cigarette after experiencing all that awesome
  • weebit, on 10/25/2007, -0/+4They don't make em like that anymore.
  • kernel16, on 10/24/2007, -0/+2"The Final Countdown" by Europe, Thats the ***** right there!!!!!
  • skeedawg, on 10/25/2007, -0/+4That was AWESOME!!!!!!
  • tonto69, on 10/24/2007, -0/+1#8 Another One Bites the Dust: I could have sworn that came out in the 70's.
  • 5xSTUN, on 10/25/2007, -0/+3Oh, it's time for a little trip to ITMS to stock up the iPod a bit.
  • Typhoon2009, on 10/24/2007, -0/+1Where's the metal? Rainbow in the Dark makes me feel like doing ***** that's actually meaningful. Maiden's The Trooper makes me wanna go kick ass.
  • Acecrow, on 10/25/2007, -0/+2What about Metallica's Motorbreath?
  • jmgoody311, on 10/26/2007, -0/+3Don't Stop Believin' should be #1, with The Final Countdown a close second. Seriously.
  • themattyd, on 10/25/2007, -0/+3This article is hilarious! As someone who lived through the 80's, I want you kids to know that it was even worse than it looks on YouTube. I mean, you can look at the videos and laugh, and even get into some of the old songs in a retro-giggle kinda way, but what if that silly ***** were really *all you could ever listen to for a whole decade* !? Think about it, and maybe show a little respect for your elders and the Hell we lived through.
    • xcwarrior, on 10/25/2007, -0/+1Here's to only being 6 when 1990 came around so I have no memory of this horrid decade. Yes, this is proof there are a few diamonds in what was a huge dirty, ugly, rough of a decade. There will be '90s stuff like this soon, and then I'll be able to look back and freak out too!
    • Ryosen, on 10/26/2007, -0/+1History will look back on us, themattyd, and remember us as heroes. We stood tall, rocked them all, and saved the world from the horror that was the "skinny tie". Truly, we were the "Greatest Generation".
  • NeoCortex, on 10/24/2007, -0/+1If you're going to post YouTube videos in your article, try to pick ones that won't get pulled as soon as your article gets Dugg.
  • mashw, on 10/25/2007, -1/+1Jeese apart from producing Journey (Challenge someone not to sing the next line "Just a small town girl..") I hate the 80's.
  • zointax, on 10/24/2007, -0/+1No "Fight to Survive" ? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24j7WthwJXs
    • Deprincer, on 11/09/2007, -0/+1That's EXACTLY what I was about to say. 118570928740897 points for you zointax. =]
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