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Hijinks Ensue: Universal Music CEO is Old, Fat, and Clueless
hijinksensue.com — It’s not really fair to poke fun I suppose. Our kids will laugh with we ’re 60 and we don’t know which button turns on the garbage disposal and which one vents plasma from the starbord nacelles.
dearreid- 532 diggs
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- TrevorBelmont, on 11/30/2007, -0/+13Classy.
- bonds, on 11/30/2007, -1/+2From ashy?
- TheFlood16, on 11/30/2007, -3/+1I do not know you sir, but you get a big, green, "thumbs up" in my book just for your username.
- fr0ng, on 11/30/2007, -1/+4I lol'd
- Freshjive787, on 11/30/2007, -5/+5kinda dull
- philba, on 11/30/2007, -10/+2I've met the guy in question and, yes, he's pretty clueless but that comic was just plain lame. There are so many better ways to poke fun at him - like thinking that they can exert centralized control or, better yet, that they own the music (and not the artists).
- vulminiha, on 11/30/2007, -0/+34Call me a music-snob, but you haven't heard Sgt. Pepper's until you've heard it on beef-slab.
- nblsavage, on 11/30/2007, -0/+9Ready for the latest cluelessness? All Universal artists on MySpace have had to take down their full-length songs and put up samples instead.
- chewyrunt, on 11/30/2007, -0/+12Frank Zappa makes a pretty good case here that the music industry needs more - not fewer - old and clueless men:
http://www.maniacworld.com/Zappa-explains-the-decl ...- MackPrime, on 11/30/2007, -0/+6is Zappa ever wrong?
- jawadde, on 11/30/2007, -0/+1so sad there aren't many artists of the articulate level of Zappa around anymore
we miss ya, old fart
- Spamcan, on 11/30/2007, -0/+14This guy has as much business running a music company in 2007 as a baked potato. His plan is to remove all of Universals catalog from iTunes then create a subscription service where the hardware manufacturers eat the monthly fee. After one year said manufacturer would have made zero profit off their $150 player because they've handed it all over to Universal. The only thing they can do is raise the prices of the hardware to offset the subscription fees. Prepared to pay $400+ for a 8GB Zune just to get highly DRM'd music from a subscription service? It's the worst business model ever conceived and the result of a complete failure to understand basic economics. I suspect Doug Morris will be forced into retirement once the blow back from the Wired interview fully hits.
- Urusai, on 11/30/2007, -0/+2Hey, the best business model puts the risk in the hands of somebody else. Spread a little grease in Washington, and you have a bunch of men with guns who will enforce the transfer of risk. People are too stupid to do anything about it, anyway.
- bonds, on 11/30/2007, -0/+11Dugg for "starboard nacelles"
- Tab47, on 11/30/2007, -5/+2The sad part about that comic is the the guy he is making fun of is more familiar with digital music distribution then the comic maker is with being funny.
- solo1717, on 11/30/2007, -4/+2Does anyone think the primary reason for industry decline is lack of real talent? Or if not talent, use of talent...
Seriously, compare the average rap crap today to, say, Stairway to Heaven. Is there any comparison?- omgwtfwallhack, on 11/30/2007, -0/+2You are right , comparing two completely different genres of music spaced apart by 3 decades is a totally valid point....
- Tivor, on 11/30/2007, -0/+4What you've written is an equivalent of a music label executive saying, "CD was a great format. Why can't people just stick with CDs? What's this newfangled MP3 crap??"
Hey, don't get me wrong. Stairway to Heaven is a classic. And personally, I don't care much for today's average rap stuff either.
But times change. People change. People's tastes change. That's just the way things are.
Plus, for every classic 70s tunes like Stairway to Heaven, there were thousands (if not tens of thousands) of crappy average 70s tunes that could not hold a candle to classic 40s tunes by Bing Crosby and such.
- endustry, on 11/30/2007, -4/+2Racist tripe. He's old and white so he must use words like "chinamen." How hip.
- bonds, on 11/30/2007, -0/+1He probably has no problem with orientals.
- mysticbelmont, on 11/30/2007, -6/+1Lets face it, the christian republicans think we are fighting a crusade. They don't want any sinners within there midsts when they go on there crusades.
- HunterSeeker42, on 11/30/2007, -0/+1Let's face it -- you can't post in the right article if your life depended on it.
Sinner. ;)
- HunterSeeker42, on 11/30/2007, -0/+1Let's face it -- you can't post in the right article if your life depended on it.
- jake101, on 11/30/2007, -1/+1What is wrong with all you people? Doug Morris is the reason that Universal's catalog is going DRM free on many services. All the techies have been whining for years for the music industry to do that and they do and they just get *****. Why are subscription model inherently evil? Why would you not want to pay 15 dollars a month for infinite music? How could they do that without DRM? All you people act like it would be so easy to come up with a model that would keep the music industry the massive entity it is today. Maybe you think that it's not viable period, that music will become less hit and superstar driven and be more of a niche market. Well, that's fine, but he is the head of a massive media company and is charged with keeping it profitable. It's far easier to make uninformed snipes at an old man than run a multi-billion dollar company. Maybe somebody has a suggestion of how they should maintain profitability.
- HunterSeeker42, on 11/30/2007, -0/+2Because I want to OWN my music, not just rent it. 30 years down the road, I won't be able to pull out my old hard drive and play my kids the stuff I used to listen too.
I do agree that the situation is more complicated than diggers usually make it out to be. Maybe music labels will be obsolete in a few years (heck, they are pretty much obsolete now), but the CEO's are still in charge of keeping the company in business. They aren't going to say "You win, Pirate Bay!" and close up shop because they are nice...
- HunterSeeker42, on 11/30/2007, -0/+2Because I want to OWN my music, not just rent it. 30 years down the road, I won't be able to pull out my old hard drive and play my kids the stuff I used to listen too.
- TenaciousJ, on 11/30/2007, -0/+0His size/weight has nothing to do with anything
- GerryBot, on 11/30/2007, -0/+3The cartoon was more interesting than the original interview. We should get this guy to summarize all the news for us in satirical cartoon form...
- Rethcir, on 11/30/2007, -1/+2Most vessels only have two nacelles, a port and a starboard, so there's only one starboard nacelle to vent. I think the prometheus-class has 4 though.
- gkiltz, on 12/01/2007, -0/+0Take a company the size of Universal! Any company whether they publish music or can dog food: How many CEOs really know what goes on in the inner workings of the company when they're not around? Regardless of how old they are or what they weigh! Young, anorexic CEOs of companies that large would have the same problem, there are certain things you NEVER let the CEO find out about!
- SouthsideIrish, on 12/01/2007, -0/+1And then Deutsche Grammophon, owned by Universal, does this http://www2.ham.deutschegrammophon.com/home. Yes, I know it is classical,, and not mainstream music, and it is still a little expensive, but it is non DRM 320kps mp3s.
Why can't they all do this? - hijinksensue, on 12/02/2007, -0/+1@Rethcir
I was obviously talking about the Promethius Class. Duh.
@Gerrybot
Good idea! I think Ill do that.
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