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152 Comments
- eplawless, on 10/12/2007, -10/+114I HAVE MY ***** TICKETS, *****
- spahn, on 10/12/2007, -4/+60@thorbergdt
That's the point. - timehoc, on 10/12/2007, -3/+49Spoilers? The movie title is a spoiler in itself.
Suprise ending of robot snakes? - xeroskill, on 10/12/2007, -5/+51Im waiting for the sequal
Sharks on a bus
(Copyrighted) - daldredge, on 10/12/2007, -2/+47Thanks for ruining the movie for the rest of us.
Jerk! - IcarusAngelus, on 10/12/2007, -3/+45Yeah, big spoilers, now that I know the movie is about snakes on a plane; the magic and mystery is gone, I'm not sure I want to see it anymore.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -4/+43digg effect. It appears duggmirror doesn't even have it. I can't mirror this anywhere, so I'll just put the review in my post. Bury me if anyone objects...
Imagine a day in the not so distant future when a child who has grown up loving the SciFi Channel is now a ridiculously rich man. One day he is bored and decides he will take a small chunk of his money and fund a SciFi original movie. Just think, one of those fantastic B-movies with an A-list cast of quality actors and top-notch special effects!! His choices were Brontosaurus Carnivore-us, Demon Priest, and a little project called... Snakes on a Plane. The rest is history.
Of course this isn’t the way the film actually got made, but it would explain a lot.
**WARNING: There was no freaking way to do this review without spilling a bit here and there, so while I’d love to be spoiler free, it’s just not going to happen. Read on at your own risk!!**
Snakes on a Plane begins with ultra slick crime boss Eddie Kim (Byron Lawson) caught in the act of being the quintessential Hollywood psycho villain. Since Martin Riggs and Roger Murtaugh are both retired, it’s up to Federal Agent Nelville Flynn (Jackson) to protect the witness to Kim’s evil deeds long enough for him to testify. So, how does a ruthless crime lord stop a witness, traveling from Hawaii to LA, from testifying against him? SNAKES ON A MUTHA *****’ PLANE!!! Sure, it’s the equivalent of circling the world westward to get from New Jersey to New York... and yeah, it’s a plot straight out the 60’s "Batman" TV show, but it sure is fun to watch.
I’d first like to tackle the originality of this movie concept as I’ve been told many times by people attached to the film that this has never been done before. While an f-bomb shouting Sam Jackson defending a plane full of people from killer snakes has not been done, the whole peril on a plane at the hands of Mother Nature has been covered. I’d like to introduce you to Flying Virus aka Killer Buzz staring Rutger Hauer and David Naughton (of American Werewolf fame). The scenario was something along the lines of bees infected with a virus that could wipe out humanity being transported on a plane. When the bees get loose, the passengers fight for their lives in the cramped confines of their metal death trap. They also face the reality that even if they land safely, they still can’t open the doors as the bees will get loose and destroy the world. So, not to point fingers at all, but I just have to give credit where credit is due. MUTHA ***** BEES, MAN!
Snakes on a Plane (click to see it bigger)While I did joke that this very well could have been a SciFi original movie, I’m not kidding when I explain that the concept is very much in keeping with the SciFi tradition. It’s such a ridiculous concept that you go into the movie knowing full well what you are in for (much like anything shown on SciFi, though I keep hoping for the best.) Hopefully this will allow theatergoers to loosen their brain cells enough to get past the improbability and just have a good time… because this IS a great time!
You begin with your typical big budget American movie setup where you meet several characters in the space of 10 minutes. Some you instantly care for, others you’re meant to despise, while still others have you taking bets on how quickly they are going to bite the big one (pun fully intended.) This plays out like a trivia game. Pay attention, folks! There will be a quiz later on! All the little details during these sequences always pop up in some form later on. Then you recognize that fact and go "ahhhh"... which makes you feel smart, and somewhere the director is saying, "You see what I did right there?" Once you move out of the setup sequence, the plane takes off, and it seems like only seconds before all hell breaks loose. Again, I point to the 60’s "Batman" TV show because not even the Frank Gorshin Riddler, Cesar Romero Joker, and Burgess Meredith Pengiun COMBINED could have come up with a more dastardly plan for taking out Batman in mid-flight! Seriously, they would all be clapping right now at the mere suggestion. Unfortunately, Agent Flynn is not coincidentally equipped with snake repellent, and so the chaos begins.
Snakes pour from every orifice of the two-floor plane, and with no visible means of escape the passengers meet their super sticky, downright gory, and freakishly realistic deaths. Victims swell up, quiver, and die… curled up as if their muscles all tightened simultaneously. The date you bring to this film will eventually freak out or your money back. Pick a nice crowd to hear the little girls scream! That’s always fun.
At the recent San Diego Comic Con, I was surprised when director David R. Ellis unflinchingly referred to Snakes as a horror movie. I was told that a lot of the fright in this film doesn’t come from the inevitable snake strikes but rather the after-effects of some of the deadliest poisons on the planet. I’m happy to report that Mr. Ellis delivered on both counts! Now it is damn near impossible to watch the snakes go to work without thinking of Anaconda or Boa Vs. Python, but I think that is where the film becomes genius. I mean, did you ever think you’d sit in an actual theater to watch a movie like this? In my opinion, Ellis and company have pulled off the greatest coup of 2006. Not since Edward Scissorhands has someone taken such a ridiculous sounding premise and made a thoroughly enjoyable feature from it.
Snakes on a Plane (click to see it bigger)The key to believability in Snakes on a Plane lies solely in the hands of its actors. Among the cast you’ll find flight attendants Julianna Margulies (of "ER" and "Sopranos" fame) and Lin Shaye (of 2001 Maniacs), passengers Kenan Thompson ("Saturday Night Live, Kenan & Kel") and Rachel Blanchard (Without a Paddle, Road Trip), and pilot David Koechner, who showed up thinking he was still playing his character from Anchorman. If this assemblage of noticeable faces weren’t enough, you’ll find a slew of actors among the cast that will have you saying, "What was that guy from...?" or "Whose girlfriend did she play?" For me at least, these connections stuck when the snakes are let loose and served to raise the tension level as you have no clue who is going to be taken down next! Passengers run frantically swatting at snakes and fellow passengers alike to get themselves to what they perceive as safety. To their credit, no two actors played it the same way.
I shouldn’t even have to mention Sam Jackson, but I will because not only was he enjoyable and delivered the forever quotable "Get these MUTHA ***** SNAKES OFF MY MUTHA ***** PLANE!", but he hands in a performance that will make you believe the entire movie’s budget should go to him. The guy could have phoned this one in, but his range of emotions was fantastic. Sam Jackson delivers quips, reacts to terror, and saves the day with a level of intensity I haven’t seen since he played Jules in Pulp Fiction. "DO THEY HAVE SNAKES IN WHAT?!"
Snakes on a Plane delivers terror we haven’t seen in most modern horror films today. It’s not just the different ways a snake can creep up on you and deliver a bite, though that was pretty damn cool. It’s not just the FX guys going to town on some bubbling, twitching poison victims, though that did make me cringe more than once. It’s the "What If" factor thrown in. What happens to the guy in front when a bunch of people push down an aisle only made for single filing? What happens when a plane pitches and everything in the cabin comes loose? CARNAGE!! In reality, it wouldn’t just be the snakes you’d have to worry about.
Sure, Snakes on a Plane is about as subtle as opening the door to your house with a 50-lb. sledgehammer, but it never pretended to be. You have to respect that sort of honesty. This could have been the mysterious Pacific Air Flight 121. There is no mistaking a film called Snakes on a Plane. This is the swift kick in the ass this summer movie season has sorely needed. - Falelorn, on 10/12/2007, -8/+43Nice, cant wait to see this.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -2/+34I don't want it to be good. I want it to be cheesy on a Road House-esque level. I plan on going in there with the sole reason of riffing it. Either way this movie is going to be great.
There are spoilers in the review so read at your own risk. - khag7, on 10/12/2007, -2/+27Exactly. People want to go so they can make fun of it. I don't think it is meant to be taken seriously. They're not going for a super suspensful action thriller with twists and turns and suprises. They're going for a ridiculous scenario and over-exaggerated characters to get audiences laughing at the movie, even though they make it seem like they're not going for laughs. I guess that makes it a comedy.
- IMustBeEmo, on 10/12/2007, -1/+24Somebody get these motha' *****' Diggers off the motha' *****' server!
I got the same error message =] - daldredge, on 10/12/2007, -4/+25Lame?
The movie is about Snakes! On a Plane!
How in the hell can that be lame? - JDoggqx, on 10/12/2007, -0/+20William Shatner: "Snakes... on a... plane."
Ballmer: "Snakes! Snakes! Snakes! Snakes! Snakes! Snakes! Snakes! Snakes! Snakes! Snakes! Snakes! Snakes! Snakes! Snakes! Snakes! Snakes! Snakes! Snakes! Snakes! " - threemagic, on 10/12/2007, -2/+22Let's continue the Snakes on the Plane game:
Samuel L Jackson would say "Snakes on the motherf**#*ing plane"
Keanue would say "Dude, snake on the plane...woah"
Will Smith would say "Snakes on the plane, awww hell no"
I know it's not on topic but man SOTP has been talked about and talked about.. let's have fun. - allanpat, on 10/12/2007, -0/+18for those who missed it, you can still send a personalized phone message to your friends from Samuel L Jackson to go see Snakes on a ***** Plane
http://snakesonaplane.varitalk.com/ - djironx, on 10/12/2007, -2/+20Of course its good. Here some reasons why
1. Poisonous Snakes
2. on a Plane
3. Samuel L. mutha ***** Jackson
4. Samuel L. Jackson Yelling "I want these mutha ***** Snakes off this Mutha ***** Plane"
5. The fact that SLJ only took the part because he liked the Title.
6. The fact that the original director quit because the Studio wanted to make it a pussy movie.
6. And Finaly, because its something different then all the other ***** movies that have been coming out the last few years.
Thank you Snakes on an Plane for trying something new. Unlike the rest of Hollywood - BrianWGray, on 10/12/2007, -0/+17Don: Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again?
Napoleon Dynamite: I told you! I spent it with my uncle hunting Snakes on a Plane! - halleyscomet, on 10/12/2007, -0/+15The Shadow: Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of Snakes on a Plane?
The Shadow Knows! MWHAHAHAHAHA!
1960's Batman: Robin, pass me the snake repellent.
Batman (Keaton Version): Well, you see, uhm, er. There's these. Uhm
The Flash (Barry Allen version): Well, I'll just clean those up. (Runs around and scours the plane in 0.00056 seconds, removing all the snakes)
The Flash (Walley West version): Reverse Flash had something to do with this, didn't he? (Runs around and scours the plane in 1.34 seconds, removing all the snakes with numerous visual pratfalls while oogling the attractive female passengers)
Pied Piper (As a good guy): (Pulls out a Pan flute) TWEET! (The heads of all the snakes explode, as the note turned out to be perfectly tuned to the frequency of their skulls)
Wolverine: Damn Snakes (Followed by ten pages of a bloody, gory battle with the snakes, in which they're all killed, three passengers die, Wolverine's mutant healing capacity saves his life at lest twice, and he looks constipated the entire time.) - mink78, on 10/12/2007, -0/+13Take my $10 please - I am ready to see it without a review.
Why?
1 - Snakes
2 - on a Plane - manisha5, on 10/12/2007, -0/+13To make it more realistic, there are snakes in theaters ...
- duketime, on 10/12/2007, -1/+14Jackie Chan: Get the snake off prane.
Frink: OH! With the snakes on the plane and the hissing GLAYVIN! - Flimnit, on 10/12/2007, -1/+13Snakes in the database. Oh my god
- threemagic, on 10/12/2007, -0/+12Mike Tyson:
"Snakes on a plane is just ludicrous" - threemagic, on 10/12/2007, -2/+14Herve Villachez:
"Snakes on .. de plane, on de plane.. boss" - threemagic, on 10/12/2007, -1/+12Mr. T.
"Better cut out the jibba jabba, foo, we got snakes on a plane" - sacherjj, on 10/12/2007, -1/+11Grandpa: Buttercup doesn't get eaten by the snakes on a plane at this time
The Grandson: What?
Grandpa: The snakes don't get her. I'm explaining to to because you look nervous.
The Grandson: I wasn't nervous. Maybe I was a little bit "concerned" but that's not the same thing. - threemagic, on 10/12/2007, -0/+10Clint Eastwood:
"Do you feel lucky? Well do you snakes? - threemagic, on 10/12/2007, -0/+9Sylverster Stalone:
"yooooo adriennnnn, der's snakes on a pllaaaannneeee" - iceperson, on 10/12/2007, -0/+9BloodNinja: So we're in this plane and I put on my wizzard hat and pull out my snake...
- threemagic, on 10/12/2007, -1/+10Hulk Hogan:
"What's ya gonna do snakes, when the 24 inch pythons come crawlin all over you, BROTHA"
heh.. - cbiz, on 10/12/2007, -0/+83 things I am deathly afraid of. Flying, Snakes and all my digg posts regarding PS3 and Vista.
- Wingman007, on 10/12/2007, -0/+7Jerry Seinfeld: What's the deal with these Snakes on a Plane? Who took a plane and said, "You know what this needs? Snakes!"
EDIT: dammit. got beat. - duketime, on 10/12/2007, -0/+7And I have to correct the 60's Batman:
Robin: Holy Hisses, Batman, what is it?
Batman: It's muthaf**king snakes Robin. On this muthaf**king plane. We need to get them off.
**BAP!!**
**ZOOT!!**
***HISS!!!!** - rodan32, on 10/12/2007, -2/+8Take your meds.
- duketime, on 10/12/2007, -1/+7Seinfeld: What is the deal with muthaf**king these snakes on this muthaf**king plane?
Letterman: You hear about these muthaf**king snakes on this muthaf**king plane? Oh boy, that's not good. Hey, Jim! Get these muthaf**king snakes off this muthaf**king plane! Jim, snakes ... plane. Hahah ... wasn't it hot out to-Snakes! Plane! Muthaf**king! Hey Jim! WOO!
Foghorn Leghorn: Now, I say, I say, get these muthaf**king, I say, muthaf**king snakes here off this here muthaf**king plane! - artyerb, on 12/01/2009, -0/+6Mitch Hedberg:
"I can't tell you what movie i just saw, but there were snakes and planes involved." - duketime, on 10/12/2007, -2/+8The real spoiler is everybody's save when they fly Barry White up and have him parachute out while singing some R&B.
- afpunk, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5This was perhaps one of the best movie experiences I had ever had. Every single person in the audience was into it, and the movie far exceeded anything I could have ever imagined. If you go to this movie and don't have a good time, you must be an extremely boring person.
- robbh66, on 10/12/2007, -1/+6I call ***** on the "review." No real details and New Line Cinema saying they werent doing any advanced screenings for critics:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/eo/20060719/en_movies_eo/19539 - cbiz, on 10/12/2007, -1/+6"deny critics from reviewing it" - I have never ever given a drop of spit about positive reviews. Now a thumbs down from most critics will mean I would probaly like the movie. That's what I have learned from reading reviews.
- EtherGnat, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5"We're going to find those evil doers, those barbaric snakes who attacked my plane and we're going to hold them accountable, dead or alive." -G. W. Bush
Let's go live to Air Force One to see how that's going:
http://home.comcast.net/~mike-n-carrie/snakesonairforceone.jpg - crashflow, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4Homer Simpson:
"Snakes on a plane? Doh! or maybe they have planes on a snake..."
Bruce Willis:
"Yippie kiyay motha$#$ing snakes!"
Morpheus: "The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work... when you go to church... when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth."
Neo: "What truth?"
Morpheus: "There are snakes on a plane."
Charlton Heston:
"Get your stinking scales off this plane, you damned dirty snakes!"
Christopher Lloyd:
"Once the moth#$%#ing plane hits 88 mph, the moth@#$@ing snakes will be sent back...to the future!"
Micheal J Fox:
"Woah! Wait a minute, Doc. Ah... Are you telling me there are moth@#$ing snakes on the moth#$%ing plane?" - VeganG, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4This is the first time I'm really sad that I ordered in advance online. I really want to go up to the box office and ask for tickets for ***** SNAKES.
- Zippo, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4I get to see it before all you *****! 10pm NST tonight. Hooray for living in Newfoundland!
- dnachoh, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5I'm a self confessed movie snob and I watched it last night, and I'll be damned if I didn't have the best time I spent watching a movie in a while. Remember there's a reason it's called "Snakes on a Plane" instead of "Pacific Air 121" New Line knows it's b-movie fodder and so should you. If you go in with a group of people in on the joke and aren't expecting Oscar material you should have a great time. If you really want to have fun, here's a simple drinking game we made out of it:
1 drink when
- Some one get bit in the neck
- The movie goes into "snake vision"
- Anytime David Koechner says anything (The guy from anchorman)
2 drinks when
- Someone gets bit in a specific body part other than the neck
- The male flight attendant does something gay
- A snake attacks another snake
Finish your drink when
- Sam Jackson says the line we all want to hear
Have fun - lh2712, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4Ok, first, of all, let's clear some things up -
1. There were 10pm first showings across the country on Thursday night.
2. I saw it, and the two theaters showing it were packed. Literally.
3. It quite literally is the best movie ever made.
Why?
1. It's the first one so directly guided by the actual people who wanted to see it courtesy of the web
2. It's the best airplane comedy since Airplane!
3. It's the best air disaster movie .... probably ever
4. It's the funniest movie I've seen in a long time ....yet
5. ....It's horrifyingly uncomfortable to watch sometimes, so props for being a good horror flick.
6. It goes for the obvious shots (I won't spoil them, it's worth watching), but that's what people WANT to see. And you'll enjoy every guilty bit of it.
7. Samuel L. Jackson actually acts - he shifts from comedy, to drama, to romance all seamlessly - he doesn't just mug for the camera or cruise through it sleepily.
8. It further fuels the type of T&A R-rated comedies we loved in the 70s and 80s ushered in by the like of Wedding Crasher - I mean, it's like the Porky's crowd crashing The Bachelor Party's party on the set of Airplane the movie with snakes instead of the Donkey - and then it cranks it all up to 11.
9. It's incredibly quotable
10. It's layered enough to merit multiple screenings.
People who don't like it aren't the ones the movie makers are targeting. Reviewers didn't deserve to see this movie because they would have buried it.
Samuel L. Jackson deserves the credit for really pushing this thing along. He was dead on, and that's why he's the man. - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4"Ninjas on a Stripper"
There we go. Fixed.
;) - threemagic, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4Flava Flav:
"Snakes on a planeeeeee, YYYYEAHHHHH BOOOOOOOOOOYYYYY" - Ashex, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5Mirror of the review (grabbed from a comment farther down)
http://www.chipnick.com/digg/Snakes.On.A.Plane.Review.html
I'll replace it with a prettier one as soon as page is back up. - neverender, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5""I won't believe it. Seriously. The second I get confirmation that that movie is worth seeing, the world will implode upon itself. It's just so...damn....lame.""
well, here is your confirmation. this movie will rule your face.
http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=23861 -
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