What is Digg?Sponsored by Double Your Dating
Scary Quiz - Do you have what it takes to attract women? view!
doubleyourdating.com - Think you know a thing or two about meeting women? Take this quiz and find out...
238 Comments
- mthmchris, on 10/11/2007, -6/+165No! The best insult belongs to the movie Billy Madison: "Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
- mannymix03, on 10/11/2007, -2/+108"where'd you get those clothes from? the toliet store?"
--Brick - windhawk, on 10/11/2007, -4/+105Site's acting up, so here's the gist of it:
20. DODGEBALL (2004)
The insulter: Patches O’Houlihan (Rip Torn)
The situation: The eccentric Dodgeball coach gives his team a halftime pep talk and doesn’t sugar-coat his instructions. Average Joe’s will be average no longer.
The insult: ”Will someone please catch a goddamn ball? It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to ***** a doorknob out there!”
Why it rules: Paints quite a picture, doesn’t it?
19. WHITE MEN CAN’T JUMP (1992)
The insulter: Sidney Deane (Wesley Snipes)
The situation: Trash-talking on the basketball court, a number of ‘yo momma’ jokes are thrown around but this one really sticks.
The insult: “I seen your mother kicking a can down the street. I said ‘What you doin’?’ and she said ‘Moving’”
Why it rules: Nothing cuts to the bone like a ‘yo momma’ joke.
18. THE WAY OF THE GUN (2000)
The insulter: Mr. Parker (Ryan Philippe)
The situation: The reserved-yet-deadly criminal for hire gets involved in a slanging match outside a club with a bar patron and his bitch girlfriend.
The insult: “Shut that *****’s mouth or I'll come over there and ***** her head!”
Why it rules: The c-word always wins an argument (especially when directed at a girl).
17. O BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU? (2000)
The insulter: Ulysses Everett McGill (George Clooney)
The situation: Escaped convict Ulysses can no longer hide his contempt for his two dim-witted partners.
The insult: “You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers.”
Why it rules: Is there any instrument duller than the hammer? Exactly.
16. JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK (2001)
The insulter: Jay (Jason Mewes)
The situation: Upon discovering an internet post flaming his new movie, the stoner decides to retort in his own inimitable style.
The insult: “All you ***** are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna ***** your mothers while you watch and cry like little whiny bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax ***** who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our *****, then ***** out our *****, then eat their ***** which is made up of our ***** that we made 'em eat. Then all you ***** are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob.”
Why it rules: You know you’ve read stuff like that on the internet before.
15. THE DEPARTED (2006)
The insulter: Sergeant Dignam (Mark Wahlberg)
The situation: The Boston Police Force set up a stakeout and Dignam gets a little pissed with the attitude of the tech geeks they hired to wire the place up.
The insult: “I’m the guy that does his job. You must be the other guy.”
Why it rules: It’s just one of a slew of insults from Dignam’s acid-tipped tongue. *****’ A.
14. POINT BREAK (1991)
The insulter: Agent Antonio Pappas (Gary Busey)
The situation: The FBI agent reminds a cocksure Keanu Reeves that he’s been around the block a few times.
The insult: "I was taking shrapnel in Khe Sanh when you were crapping in your hands and rubbing it on your face!"
Why it rules: Keanu Reeves totally did that as a kid.
13. WAYNE’S WORLD (1992)
The insulter: Garth Algar (Dana Carvey)
The situation: The straggly-haired rocker convinces Kurt Fuller’s lackey that his TV producer boss is a douchebag.
The insult: “Benjamin is nobody's friend. If Benjamin were an ice cream flavour, he'd be pralines and dick.”
Why it rules: Imaginative and disgusting – no one would eat ice cream flavoured like pralines.
12. ROXANNE (1987)
The insulter: C.D. ‘Charlie’ Bales (Steve Martin)
The situation: Colossaly-conked Charlie is challenged to think of twenty insults better than ‘Big Nose’. This is the best of the bunch, but “When you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid?” runs it a close second.
The insult: “Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face?”
Why it rules: It reminds us of when Steve Martin was funny.
11. THE LAST BOY SCOUT (1991)
The insulter: Joseph ‘Joe’ Hallenback (Bruce Willis)
The situation: When confronted by a street thug, Hallenback defaults to comedy mode to distract him (before smacking him up something neat).
The insult: “Your mother’s so fat I had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot. If you wanna ***** her, you gotta slap her thigh and ride the wave in.”
Why it rules: No one writes barbed put-downs like Shane Black (see also #7).
10. NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CHRISTMAS VACATION (1989)
The insulter: Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase)
The situation: Not having a happy holidays, Clark reveals his Christmas wish would be to tell his boss the following tirade.
The insult: “You cheap, lying, no good, rotten, floor flushing, low life, snake licking, dirt eating, inbred, over-stuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fatass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spineless, worm-headed sack of monkey *****!”
Why it rules: We’ve all wanted to call our boss an *****, but this is taking it to the next level.
9. ANCHORMAN (2004)
The insulter: Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell)
The situation: Ron and his female co-anchor Veronica Corningstone trade insults on the newsroom floor. Hers suck. His don’t.
The insult: “You are a smelly pirate hooker. Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?”
Why it rules: Because women really should go back to their homes on Whore Island.
8. SEXY BEAST (2000)
The insulter: Don Logan (Ben Kingsley)
The situation: Nutcase Don is in Spain to convince retired gangster Gal to return to the UK for one more job. Gal likes the Spanish sun too much.
The insult: “You're the problem! You're the ***** problem you ***** Dr. White honkin' jam-rag ***** spunk-bubble!”
Why it rules: Such filth coming from the mouth of Gandhi? Genius!
7. KISS KISS, BANG BANG (2005)
The insulter: Gay Perry (Val Kilmer)
The situation: Dumbass criminal and part-time investigator Harry Lockheart throws Perry’s gun into a lake without realising it is important evidence.
The insult: “Look up idiot in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?”
“A picture of me?”
“No! The definition of the word ‘idiot’, which you ***** are!”
Why it rules: Second-guesses Harry (and the audience) with its logical brilliance.
6. A FISH CALLED WANDA (1988)
The insulter: Wanda Gershwitz (Jamie Lee Curtis)
The situation: Lust object Wanda puts it to Kevin Kline’s kidnapper Otto that he’s not as bright as he thinks he is.
The insult: "To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I've known sheep who could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs, but you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?"
Why it rules: It’s just one of many fine insults in a fantastically written movie.
5. PREDATOR (1987)
The insulter: Dutch (Arnold Schwarzenegger)
The situation: After a rumble in the jungle with his intergalactic enemy, Colonel Dutch finally comes face to face with the Predator and dashes his hopes for a snog.
The insult: “You’re one ugly *****!”
Why it rules: No need for witty one-liners here: straight to the point and devastatingly brutal, even for an alien.
4. GET CARTER (1971)
The insulter: Jack Carter (Michael Caine)
The situation: Returning home to find his brother dead in mysterious circumstances, professional killer Jack re-introduces himself to the snivelling Eric.
The insult: “You know, I'd almost forgotten what your eyes looked like. Still the same. Pissholes in the snow.”
Why it rules: Try and stop thinking about it next time your girlfriend asks if you like her eyes.
3. GONE WITH THE WIND (1939)
The insulter: Rhett Butler (Clark Gable)
The situation: Having had all he can stand of Scarlett’s whinging and whimpering, Butler puts his bitch on ice.
The insult: “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
Why it rules: Back in the 1930’s, this was worth a million ‘*****’.
2. MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL (1975)
The insulter: Taunting French Guard (John Cleese)
The situation: Atop his castle, the French guard pours scorn on King Arthur and his “silly kerrniggits”, spitting down vitriol like acid rain.
The insult: “I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed, animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”
Why it rules: It’s hard to argue with that sort of reasoning. And he is French.
1. FULL METAL JACKET (1987)
The insulter: Gunnery Sgt. Hartman (R. Lee Ermey)
The situation: Tubster Private Pyle dares break a smile while having his hair dryed by his furious drill sergeant. What followed were the most brutal, most heartless and most downright hilarious insults in movie history. It’s almost impossible to pick one amongst a tirade that lasts several minutes (“You look like you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose,” “I didn’t know they stacked ***** that high,” “Looks to me like the best part of you ran down your momma’s crack and ended up a brown stain on the mattress,” and so on) but pick one we had to…
The insult: “Did your parents have any children that lived?”
Why it rules: Breathtaking in its brevity, it’s an insult so devastating, the recipient kills himself later in the picture.
And the worst movie insult ever…
HAPPY GILMORE (1996)
The insulter: Shooter McGavin (Christopher McDonald)
The situation: The golf pro attempts to give amateur ball-smacker Happy a verbal beatdown, but fails.
The quote: “I eat pieces of ***** like you for breakfast.”
Why it sucks: The straight-faced reply of “You eat pieces of ***** for breakfast?” leaves Shooter struggling for an adequate response. “No… I…” Man down. Man down. - inactive, on 10/11/2007, -1/+53Why you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking, nerf-herder!
- DagYo, on 10/11/2007, -2/+51boondock saints has one of my favs,
Shut your fat-ass, Rayvie! I can't go buy a pack of smokes without runnin' into nine guys you've *****! - Shiftgood, on 10/11/2007, -3/+48Yeah.... welll........ dracula called and hes said hes coming for you, tonight... and i said "ok".
-Master Shake - patkirkrick, on 10/11/2007, -2/+45Steve Martin: Not so fast El Guapo! Or I'll pump you so full of lead you'll be using your dick for a pencil!
Alfonso Arau: What do you mean?
Steve Martin: I don't know!
- The Three Amigos - SlamShut, on 10/11/2007, -8/+49Way Of The Gun's is top in my book: “Shut that *****’s mouth or I'll come over there and ***** her head!”
Those aren't just fightin' words-- those are "I'm not ***** waiting around for the fight to start, let's get it going right ***** now" words.
Too bad the movie that follows that killer opening scene is nowhere near as good as that one line. - xmkatx, on 10/11/2007, -5/+44The color scheme of that site is insulting to my eyes.
- obiethedog, on 10/11/2007, -0/+36You play ball like a girl!
- aantix, on 10/11/2007, -1/+35Customer: "Cute cat, whats its name?"
Randal: "Annoying customer."
Customer: "***** you *****!" - akatherder, on 10/11/2007, -4/+37I've already seen three quotes mentioned in this thread that are way better than all 10 in the article:
no talent assclown
shine box
billy madison tirade
I would like to add Willy Wonka's "YOU LOSE, YOU GET NOTHING! Good day, sir." - haynil, on 10/11/2007, -0/+29They need a "Buried for Spreading a List Across Multiple Pages" option.
- PhairOh, on 10/11/2007, -0/+28I think that #1 and #2 should be swapped. However, if they used my favorite line from Full Metal Jacket instead for #1, than for sure it should be first:
"I bet you're the kind of guy that would ***** a person in the ass and not even have the god damned common courtesy to give him a reach around." - redsox32, on 10/11/2007, -0/+26" im gonna take ur mother out to a nice seafood dinner and never call her back"
-champ - chaskell, on 10/11/2007, -6/+32Go home and get your ***** shine box. - Goodfellas
Sorry, but this wins. - LowROI, on 10/11/2007, -2/+26a simple "no" would have done...
- Steyr47, on 10/11/2007, -2/+25Maybe if the site wasn't down already I could comment better, but all 20 of these insults should be from Full Metal Jacket.
- bigj7489, on 10/11/2007, -0/+22Rocky I. Loan Shark's driver, upon hearing Rocky has a date with Adrian.
"Take her to the zoo."
Rocky: "Yeah, why's that?"
Driver: "I hear retards like the zoo."
And later, before the car pulls away
Driver: "Remember what I told you..."
Rocky: "What?"
Driver: "Take her to the zoo."
Rocky's had enough but the car speeds away. Hilarious. - Sell, on 10/11/2007, -4/+26What a bunch of lame choices plus the website feels like a poser trying desperately to get invited to the cool kids party this weekend.
- inactive, on 10/11/2007, -0/+21You got buried.
- mattxb, on 10/11/2007, -0/+20"You shoot me in a dream you better wake up and apologize." -Reservoir Dogs
- DarthTurducken, on 10/11/2007, -4/+23Blade Trinity: "You *****-juggling thundercunt."
- brianbennett, on 10/11/2007, -5/+22Yellow text on white background... lovely.
- Rileaz, on 10/11/2007, -3/+16"Shut the ***** up, Donnie."
- Altanar, on 10/11/2007, -2/+14Donnie: You are such a *****.
Elizabeth: Did you just call me a *****? You can go suck a *****.
Donnie: Oh, please, tell me Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a *****? - aantix, on 10/11/2007, -1/+12Oh, let me try again.
"Cute cat, whats its name?"
"Annoying Digg poster"
"***** you *****!"
Damn, still didn't get it right..... - EtherGnat, on 10/11/2007, -0/+10Some of these remind me of Shakespeare. A personal favorite from King Lear:
KENT: A knave, a rascal, an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-liver’d, action-taking knave; a whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; a one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition. - Strell, on 10/11/2007, -1/+11Needs more no-talent assclown.
- xmkatx, on 10/11/2007, -1/+11Site crapped out before I got to 1-5!!! T_T
- cresswga, on 10/11/2007, -0/+9I am going to force myself to use the crappy threaded comments to agree that the opening scene in Way of the Gun was awesome.
And a nice cameo from Sarah Silverman as the mouthy bitch. - Caruthers, on 10/11/2007, -1/+9Highway: I've drank more beer, pissed more blood, and banged more quiff than all you numb-nuts put together
- nathanwalker, on 10/11/2007, -1/+9The one from Kiss Kiss Bang Bang made me laugh so hard when I saw that movie. I actually had the chance to use that one in real life once heh.. very rare that the setup actually works.
“Look up idiot in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?”
“A picture of me?”
“No! The definition of the word ‘idiot’, which you ***** are!” - CharlesDance, on 10/11/2007, -0/+8http://youtube.com/watch?v=mPgI-7hTZkQ
- akatherder, on 10/11/2007, -0/+7Oh, it's on!
- inactive, on 10/11/2007, -0/+7Who you callin' scruffy lookin'?
- BillyBIanks, on 10/11/2007, -0/+7You're like a child that wanders into a conversation...
- crash331, on 10/11/2007, -0/+7I like "You run like old people *****"
- TheThestral, on 10/11/2007, -6/+13what about "you pumpkin-pie haricutted FREAK!"
- mobber, on 10/11/2007, -0/+7couldn't open it, but it better include Dennis Hopper's last words to Christopher Walken in True Romance.
The man knew he was going down, knew what buttons to push, & ensured a quick death while pissin his killer totally off.
Probally the best scene ever. - neal16, on 10/11/2007, -0/+75-1 should have been from Glengarry Glen Ross
Blake: Alec Baldwin Moss:
Ed Harris Roma:
Al Pacino
Blake: Your name is "you're wanting", and you can't play the man's game, you can't close them, and then tell your wife your troubles. 'Cause only one thing counts in this world: get them to sign on the line which is dotted. You hear me you *****' *****?
Blake: You see this watch? You see this watch?
Dave Moss: Yeah.
Blake: That watch costs more than you car. I made $970,000 last year. How much you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a *****. Good father? ***** you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here - close! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you *****? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit? You don't like it, leave.
Dave Moss: What's your name?
Blake: ***** you. That's my name. [Moss laughs]
Blake: You know why, mister? 'Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW. *That's* my name.
Ricky Roma: You stupid ***** *****. You, Williamson, I'm talking to you, *****. You just cost me $6,000. Six thousand dollars, and one Cadillac. That's right. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it, *****? You're ***** *****. Where did you learn your trade, you stupid ***** *****, you idiot? Who ever told you that you could work with men? Oh, I'm gonna have your job, *****.
Ricky Roma: WHAT YOU'RE HIRED FOR, is to help us... does that seem clear to you? TO HELP US, not to... *****-US-UP... to help those who are going out there to try to earn a living... You fairy. You company man. - LowROI, on 10/11/2007, -0/+6the chinaman is not the issue here dude, and secondly, dude chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature.
- halvertos, on 10/11/2007, -3/+9goodfellas: "Now go home and get your *****' shinebox."
- swizzcheez, on 10/11/2007, -1/+7Still one of my favorites was "Not even God knows what you're doing!"
-- Zeus (Samuel L. Jackson) toward John McLane (Bruce Willis) in Die Hard III - praisethelard, on 06/06/2008, -0/+6Sandlot. Legendary.
- ikrit2006, on 10/11/2007, -0/+6I would like to contend that the worst is one of the best as it is an insult to the insulter which is really more insulting than being insulted.
- elsJake, on 10/11/2007, -1/+6your replys just got burted along with him as well
- ruley, on 10/11/2007, -1/+6"Your ancestors died of natural causes" "liar! they died at war!!!"- Erik the Viking
- BackEnThaWomb, on 10/11/2007, -0/+4http://youtube.com/watch?v=6PDKcX0Ji90
- inactive, on 10/11/2007, -0/+4Laugh it up, fuzzball.
-
Show 51 - 100 of 239 discussions
© Digg Inc. 2009
— Content created and posted by Digg users is