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- bjorna, on 10/31/2008, -3/+78Way to put it on 10 different pages :(
No.10 - Hat tossing
Dr. No (1962)
Beginning in Dr. No, and taking place in most of the Bond movies, our protagonist announces his arrival at MI6 headquarters by tossing his hat from the door onto a hat rack, thereby impressing flirtatious secretary Moneypenny. (Bond’s hat trick is silly at best, considering we rarely see Bond wearing a hat.) While the ability to land a hat on a hook from 10 paces away is a somewhat impressive feat, and may be a half-decent party trick, it’s not something that’s useful in today’s society -- unless, of course, you’re planning to join the circus.
No.9 - Free-falling with a deck umbrella
For Your Eyes Only (1981)
James Bond is a regular party crasher, but unlike your run-of-the-mill frat-house shindig, the parties 007 attends are typically full of criminals who’d like to kill him. Such is the case in For Your Eyes Only, and when he’s discovered hiding in the brush, he’s forced to fight guards and flee. Fortunately, when he’s faced with leaping off a small cliff, there’s a deck umbrella nearby and, to show off one of his useless Bond skills, he grabs it to float safely below, making the free-fall slightly easier.
No.8 - Getting a Japanese makeover
You Only Live Twice (1967)
If you’re holidaying in a foreign land, you may do what you can to avoid sticking out as a tourist. But you’ll probably draw the line as just being discreet with your map and camera. In You Only Live Twice, Bond goes undercover by getting an emergency makeover so he’ll look Japanese. This scene is hilarious as the Japanese Bond merely looks like a tall, white man wearing makeup and dressed in Japanese garb. This ploy works in the movie, but it’s silly in real life, especially because, short of on Halloween, we rarely dress up to mimic another culture.
No.7 - Wearing a tuxedo under a wet suit
Goldfinger (1964)
Like Bond, you’ve probably crashed a few parties in your day. But unlike 007, you simply showed up uninvited and walked through the front door. In Goldfinger, Bond crashes a party aquatically, wearing a full tuxedo under his scuba wet suit. Once ashore, he sheds the swimming attire, straightens his bow tie, grabs a martini, and joins the festivities. There’s a pretty good chance you’ll never need to do this, hence its ranking on our list of useless Bond skills.
No.6 - Fire truck ladder dangling
A View to a Kill (1985)
Many of Bond’s useless-in-the-real-world skills are developed when he’s fleeing from or fighting the world’s criminal element. But some transpire when Bond himself is mistaken as a lawbreaker. In A View to a Kill, 007 and his female of the hour, Stacey Sutton, are implicated in a fire at San Francisco city hall, and are forced to flee from the police in, of all things, a stolen fire truck. While Sutton drives, Bond dangles precariously from the truck’s ladder, which becomes unlocked and sends him swinging over passing cars below
No.5 - Wakeboarding with a snowmobile ski
A View to a Kill (1985)
Wakeboarding is a great summer cottage activity, but you’ve probably never done it the Bond way: with the ski off a Soviet snowmobile (after you’ve dispatched its driver, of course). In A View to a Kill, Bond evades Soviet alpine soldiers by riding a snowmobile ski snowboard-style down a mountain after a helicopter shoots off his own ski. Using a skill the common man will never need, Bond glides over a mountainous lake on the ski, while the confused bad guys stumble and sink behind him.
No.4 - Cello case tobogganing
The Living Daylights (1987)
When most people hit the slopes for a day of sliding, they usually take along with them a toboggan or some other recreational apparatus. Not Bond. Fleeing bad guys on a snowy mountain in The Living Daylights, while at the same time protecting a beautiful Soviet spy, Bond puts on his creativity hat once again, turning her cello case into a makeshift toboggan. If that isn’t bad enough, he occasionally uses her priceless instrument as a rudder/paddle to navigate his way down the slopes.
No.3 - Airplane fishing
Licence to Kill (1989)
Being a famous spy has its perks, but often, Bond has the tough task of improvising on the fly. In Licence to Kill, he and his CIA ally, Felix Leiter, are pursuing South American drug kingpin Franz Sanchez by air, and when it appears he’ll escape into neutral airspace, 007 is forced to act quickly. He climbs out of Leiter’s helicopter and with the declaration of, “Let’s go fishing!” loops a cable around Sanchez’s plane, reeling the criminal in and saving the day.
No.2 - Crocodile jumping
Live and Let Die (1973)
In each 007 flick, Bond has to make the most out of crummy situations. So, when he’s pursued by villains in Live and Let Die, and trapped between a certain death and a pond of hungry crocodiles, he’s only got one option: run over the crocs. In a daring and desperate move (and one that nearly got the stuntman eaten alive), Bond takes a running start and leaps across the water by bouncing from one snapping crocodile to another. This isn’t a move we’d recommend trying, and thankfully, it’s more than likely a useless Bond skill you’ll never have to master.
No.1 - Invisible car driving
Die Another Day (2002)
Bond makes use of the mother of all useless Bond skills in Die Another Day, when he’s forced to flee from the bad guys on a frozen lake. Luckily, he’s equipped with his trusty Aston Martin, but not one that any average Joe can buy at the dealership. Bond’s ride is custom-fitted with a cloaking device, allowing it to become invisible at the push of a button. The scene borders on ridiculous, and while some fans may long for an invisible set of wheels, this skill takes the cake as the most useless skill in Bond’s arsenal. - Intervene, on 10/31/2008, -4/+74Dugg for the girl in the thumbnail.
- glinsvad, on 10/30/2008, -3/+48Wearing a tuxedo under a wet suit... useless
Wearing a tuxedo under a dry suit... awesome - doommastr, on 10/31/2008, -0/+27Thumbnail is very misleading.
- theadvinci, on 10/30/2008, -1/+28Invisible Aston Martin? What good is that?
It's like dating an invisible model. - natastna2, on 10/31/2008, -5/+23Stop putting things on 10 ***** pages or I swear I'll find you and kill your children.
- kolinkoolface2, on 10/31/2008, -0/+16*ridiculous
- derpoopflinger, on 10/31/2008, -2/+17hey guess what? if you submit a slide show I'll bury it. PS YOU SUCK. If you know the submitter punch him, 10 different times
- RealmDown, on 10/31/2008, -0/+14At least the STD's you get won't show.
- inactive, on 10/31/2008, -0/+14you mispelled pleasing
- tallguyg, on 10/31/2008, -1/+13buried for 10 ***** pages of boring ***** about bond
- missjb, on 10/30/2008, -5/+17i always thought throwing a hat was cool...but just rediculous
- diwen, on 10/31/2008, -0/+10Rather than 10 times at once, of course.
- chanop, on 10/31/2008, -3/+131. Thank you
2. I just did the same thing, refreshed the page, you beat me by a minute and went back and deleted the comment. You spoiled my work.
3. I like turtles - maximilen, on 10/31/2008, -0/+10Get Firefox mate. (Spell check included).
- speedk0re, on 10/31/2008, -1/+11Who throws a shoe? Honestly...
- DiggieDarko, on 10/31/2008, -0/+8The Japanese makeover was awesome. I was convinced.
- XtheXlanternX, on 10/31/2008, -2/+9SLIDESHOW WTF
- jmhyer51, on 10/31/2008, -0/+7A slideshow list is bad enough, but actually putting full page ads in between... dick move askmen. Very dick move
- inactive, on 10/31/2008, -0/+7Did you motorboat 'em?
- Unknown021, on 10/31/2008, -1/+7I like the thumbnail that has nothing to do with the article. And all the ads in the article. And the fact that the article is a slide show.
- morcheeba, on 10/31/2008, -0/+6I think this would get old after about the 15th time someone pulled in to your parking space thinking it was empty.
- inactive, on 10/31/2008, -3/+8No Bond skills are Useless. Except Timothy Dalton. Horrid.
- tomharrow, on 10/31/2008, -1/+6this is clearly the only reason it made it to the homepage. shameless digg tactics worked a treat! well done bixby1
- AtraNoxVII, on 10/31/2008, -0/+4I would certainly like an invisible car if I had a psycho stalker girlfriend that I broke up with.
I don't think I'd like to come out and find my windows busted out and tires slashed. - KaJuN4, on 10/31/2008, -0/+4That realllly hurt!
- metaliq, on 10/31/2008, -0/+4That was the stupidest list I've seen in a while.
#1... invisible car? How wouldn't that be useful? And how is an invisible car the "most useless" of all of them?
Buried as lame. - Dchandaman, on 10/31/2008, -0/+4wow supersteve, you super suck with your shameless self promotion
- juliohm, on 10/31/2008, -0/+3***** those multipage *****
- koonchu, on 10/31/2008, -0/+310 pages for each list item? BURIED.
- unsigneddigger, on 10/31/2008, -0/+3You're the man now, dog!
- spritom, on 10/31/2008, -0/+3FTA:
Wearing a tuxedo under a wetsuit:
"There’s a pretty good chance you’ll never need to do this, hence its ranking on our list of useless Bond skills."
I don't have that skill, so I never considered it a need. However, if I had this skill, I would add it to my daily routine. - HenryLegge, on 10/31/2008, -1/+3Ahh beat me to it, dugg for her too
- inactive, on 10/31/2008, -1/+3These are gadgets, not skills
- ChumpyMonkey, on 10/31/2008, -0/+2Bond skills: the beauty is *in* the uselessness!
(but down with slideshows... laaame) - cl2yp71c, on 10/31/2008, -0/+2Useless, I think not!
- jmariuskl, on 10/31/2008, -0/+2Seems pretty useful to me.
- Michas, on 10/31/2008, -0/+2...And I went straight to the Gallery of the Day.
- RadicalEdward, on 10/31/2008, -0/+2When the heck did askmen.com go into beta? They went from full site to beta site? wtf?
- inactive, on 10/31/2008, -0/+2Yes, it is..
Ok most are gadgets, dick - Killeroid, on 10/31/2008, -0/+2Actually, Tomothy Dalton was awesome in The Living Daylights. Its not his fault that he starred in some of the ***** Bond movies(plot wise). He was great in the one movie where the plot was coherent and beleivable.
- shipwreck58, on 10/31/2008, -0/+1Burried for ***** interface and pop-up ads!
- dnc34, on 10/31/2008, -0/+1dry suit not wet suit. That is not wakeboarding. 10 pages? lame
- spritom, on 10/31/2008, -0/+1No.4 - Cello case tobogganing
yeah, that was more of a Cold War necessity, but not needed so much any more. - szskateman22, on 10/31/2008, -0/+1And the number 1 UseFULL Bond Skill... Getting laid in every single movie?
- kern44, on 10/31/2008, -0/+1Don't worry cashcreditguy I still love you.
- ovitwo, on 10/31/2008, -0/+1I'm sorry but Crocodile jumping is not useless at all. :P
- skodai, on 10/31/2008, -0/+1That would be a *useful* skill. :-p
- jhartvu, on 10/31/2008, -0/+1Buried for self-promotion.
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