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Top 10: 80's Movie Moments That Used To Rock But Now Suck

heartlessdoll.com — When you're young, dumb, and have used so much Aqua Net that your neurons aren't firing normally, it's easy to fall for plot points that may seem logical but actually aren't. Here's a collection of the Top 10 '80s Movie Moments we see differently now that we have aged a little bit.

Who dugg this? Made popular Jul 29, 2008

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  • NathanielJ, on 07/29/2008, -0/+7311. Tom Hanks has sex with Elizabeth Perkins in Big, even though he is actually a 12-year-old boy.

    Oh wait no, that still rocks.
  • spahndirge, on 07/29/2008, -4/+59This is cracked.com with PMS
  • magneteye, on 07/29/2008, -2/+32No more yanky my wanky, the Donger need food!
  • mysmartypants, on 07/29/2008, -3/+27Oh my God! In the 20+ years since these movies, the author of this article as acquired such a politically correct stick up her ass its not funny. It just shows how ***** up and anally retentive the world world we live in has become. You know what, Long Duk Dong is still funny. Anthony Michael SCORED big time. And Jennifer Gray's character was a total bitch and deserved to get treated the way she was.
  • StanleyKoolPrik, on 07/29/2008, -7/+29This chick is clueless.
  • kingmanic, on 07/29/2008, -6/+25Real life Epilogues

    16 Candles: Jake knocks up Sam, leaves her for younger woman. His lawyers ensure she gets nothing. Long Duk Dong founds intel, buys the right to beat John Hughes with a baseball bat for being a racist douche.

    Breakfast club: Everybody learned nothing. No body kept in touch. They found each other through facebook 20+ years later and infrequently notice random updates.

    Pretty in Pink: Blane knocks up Andie, leaves her for younger woman. His lawyers ensure she gets nothing. Duckie founds Google, buys the right to beat John Hughes with a baseball bat for hating geeks.

    The Karate Kid: Daniel gets his ass beat the year after when they decide to allow real martial artists in instead of random white d list actors. He is beaten to a pulp by a 9 year old asian girl who round houses his ass while he poses like a nimrod.

    Ferris Bueller's Day Off: Ferris goes on to become President of the united states. Is impeached for granting billions in no bid contracts to his friends, sleeping with every intern in the white house and lying about it in court, wire tapping all of his opponents, authorizing hits on the opposition party, selling the national parks, revoking the second amendment, instituting widespread reductions in privacy and liberty, and removing limitations on the presidency. Is tossed out of office with a light reprimand, and then runs again the year after and wins.

  • sizbo, on 07/29/2008, -5/+24You can tell it's written by a woman, too, because of the notable lack of funny.
  • beachtrader, on 07/29/2008, -3/+22>>Every Scene Involving Long Duk Dong.

    What's wong with yoo? He funny guy?

    Lighten up Francis. It's just a movie.
  • Cuja, on 07/29/2008, -2/+20She mostly attacks John Hughes movies; and as much as those movies rule, she has a good point. But Daniel-san would and did kick the Zabka's ass! This video (although the song is only okay) is pretty stinking kewl. http://www.sweeptheleg.com/
  • ptsuk, on 07/29/2008, -1/+18Funny i thought it was the obvious "bachelorette party" references.
  • yayster, on 07/29/2008, -0/+14I cannot believe that I actually read that.
  • inactive, on 07/29/2008, -7/+21I'm gonna have to object to the Ferris Bueller one - yeah, it sucks for her, but let's face it, that's life. It's just, you know, like a kind of karma for being a straight-laced goody-goody.
  • chuckDontSurf, on 07/29/2008, -0/+13Because "Soul Man" has always sucked.
  • squishee, on 07/29/2008, -3/+16Low blow. Women can be funny...for example, it's funny how much dick your mom sucks.

    (and yes, I'm female)
  • NeoCortex, on 07/29/2008, -3/+15Top 10: John Hughes Movie Moments that Used to Rock but Now Suck
  • ptsuk, on 07/29/2008, -1/+13The only reason why any of these moments "suck" is that because they didn't eventually happen to this absurdly tight ass chick.

    huh, huh, huh i said tight ass chick.
  • GoatMonkey2112, on 07/29/2008, -0/+12No, The Last Starfighter is awesome again because it sucks.
  • damndj, on 07/29/2008, -5/+16I still quote Long Duck Dong to this day.
  • Conwaysb0718, on 07/29/2008, -0/+10"just another example of how teenagerhood really crushes individuality"

    If you ask me, which you didnt, its this whole extreme individuality of how everyone is a delicate individual snowflake and has this sense of entitlement which kicked into full swing in the 80's thats weirding society in the first place. And no, i dont mean that in some bigoted way, just the way that emotion has come to replace logic in many, many ways.
  • hagfish70, on 07/29/2008, -0/+10New tittle: My attempt to destroy your found nostalgic movie moments of the 80s.

    Lady, if I ever meet you in the street, I'll kick you in the dick.
  • inactive, on 07/29/2008, -1/+10Dugg for Farmer Ted sexorizing teh girl
  • web2pointblowme, on 07/29/2008, -7/+15Buried without even reading for being what is likely the stupidest premise ever for yet another stupid list.
  • inactive, on 07/29/2008, -6/+14More like 10 mediocre moments from 7 80s movies that are either still pretty good and everyone will disagree, or were ***** chick flicks to begin with.
  • jcroweall7, on 07/29/2008, -1/+9Nothing about Say Anything sucks.
  • tombonneau, on 07/29/2008, -3/+9How can you "cringe" at the "racist stereotypes" of The Donger yet completely turn a blind eye to "Soul Man"?
  • inactive, on 07/29/2008, -2/+8This list had no redeeming value. Some byotch has a stick up her ass about how movies from her teens don't have the same impact now that she's all grown up?

    Wake up and watch Indy 4 for some real disappointment.
  • inactive, on 07/29/2008, -0/+6Wait..I thought you were coming over to play Atari 5200 and trade M.U.S.C.L.E men.
  • stevieraveon, on 07/29/2008, -0/+611) This kid getting the shaft for the bill in "Better Off Dead". http://www.xenafan.com/movies/bod/images/johnny05. ...
    Nowadays all his buddies on the bikes trying to help him retrieve the $2 reminds me of the MPAA.
    http://www.xenafan.com/movies/bod/images/johnny08. ...
  • inactive, on 07/29/2008, -1/+6no mention of flight of the navigator, or ninja turtles, because they are STILL ***** ROCK
  • Abomonog, on 07/29/2008, -2/+7The Breakfast Club is a totally cool movie until you realize that Saturday school didn't exist until after it came out.
  • FurryToaster, on 07/29/2008, -0/+5I wonder how "Cloak and Dagger" would hold up now. Dabney Coleman was awesome.
    I think I'm going to throw on some Scorpions and beat up my sister's Cabbage Patch Kid while combing my badass mullet.
  • kevro, on 07/30/2008, -0/+5What about the scene in Revenge of the nerds where the main character has sex with the Darth Vader helmet on, while the girl thinks it's some one else.
  • ryannerd, on 07/29/2008, -5/+10For those of you who are too lazy to go to the web site...FTA she disses:
    The Breakfast Club: Allison's Transformation
    Say Anything: Diane and Lloyd Get Back Together
    Sixteen Candles: Jake Ryan Goes for Samantha Baker
    Sixteen Candles: Every Scene Involving Long Duk Dong
    Sixteen Candles: Anthony Michael Hall's Character Essentially Rapes That Girl
    The Breakfast Club: Anthony Michael Hall Still Has To Write The Essay
    The Karate Kid: Daniel Wins The Tournament
    Pretty In Pink: She Doesn’t Pick Duckie
    Some Kind of Wonderful: Keith Blows His College Money on Diamond Earrings
    Ferris Bueller's Day Off: No One Believes Jennifer Grey
  • aduelley, on 07/30/2008, -0/+5I agree with you, I don't know why you are getting dugg down. It's part of what makes the movie so awesome.
  • allengeer, on 07/29/2008, -0/+5uh.. i don't what you're talking about. the never ending story is still awesome. flying dogs. rock eating monsters. the nothing. sinead oconnor in the ivory tower.
  • leerayIG88, on 07/29/2008, -2/+7I found out Asian people were very funny and smart with math.
  • inactive, on 07/29/2008, -0/+5Well said.
  • inactive, on 07/29/2008, -2/+6What's happenin Hot Stuff?
  • floridiot2, on 07/29/2008, -2/+6*bows to squishee*
  • tidu, on 07/30/2008, -0/+4oh dear
  • floridiot2, on 07/29/2008, -1/+5.. That's another good one!
  • inactive, on 07/30/2008, -1/+5Current pic of Molly Ringwald http://www.blogsmithmedia.com/www.tmz.com/media/20 ...
  • frozensnake, on 07/29/2008, -0/+4buried for being another list about 80s movies. when you have to make a list as obscure as moments that used to rock but dont your out of ideas.

    lets see some more lolcats
  • Bullshirt, on 07/29/2008, -1/+5No, this: http://youtube.com/watch?v=FQySDbFb97s
  • drgirlfriend, on 07/29/2008, -1/+5Wha's happenin, ha stuff?
  • barstegry, on 07/29/2008, -5/+9Top 10: lists that used to be neato but now suck ass
  • mcmullet, on 07/29/2008, -1/+5Karate Kid - Daniel beating Johnny with the crane move is more realistic than Elisabeth Shue going for pre-pubescent Ralph Macchio

    Pretty in Pink - Andie didn't go for Duckie because she realized Duckie is gay - John Cryer puts on one of the most flaming performances ever
  • inactive, on 07/30/2008, -0/+4Goddamnit - The Breakfast Club has the worst ending of any movie, ever. In the end, not only is the Nerd still a virgin, friendless loser, but he also has to write the goddamn essay!
  • PhilMoskowitz, on 07/29/2008, -0/+3So this dipstick watched like 3 movies in the 80's? How does this make digg?
  • Smaulz, on 07/29/2008, -1/+4You had a digg outta me 'till you dared to insinuate Bush was ever as cool as Ferris Bueller.
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