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The 5 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is a Complete Idiot

toplessrobot.com — We all know Luke Skywalker as the main protagonist throughout the original Star Wars movies and onward into the novels of questionable quality. We all grew up wanting to be him—learning to use the Force, blowing up the Death Star, saving the galaxy. But the thing is, despite all his badass moments, he actually kind of sucks. (Not my words)

Who dugg this? Made popular Oct 22, 2008

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  • Kisama, on 10/22/2008, -10/+271Join the Dark Side, we have cookies.
  • Hetman, on 10/22/2008, -5/+162To be fair Obi-won never showed Luke how to defend himself against force lightning. I mean seriously if he was such a good trainer that should have been one of the first things to show him. Obi-won lived through enough force lightning that you would expect it to be on the top of his to teach list.
  • TexasShiv, on 10/22/2008, -3/+147Screaming "NO!!!!!!" when they're trying to sneak back onto the Falcon when Obi gets slashed
  • fuckingusername, on 10/22/2008, -6/+109not tapping leia before she told him they where related
  • thestereofield, on 10/22/2008, -4/+84but i was going to Toshi Station to pick up some power converters!!
  • ZombieKiss, on 10/22/2008, -1/+74And Obi-won learned from this guy:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z29OVZLbZk
  • bushout, on 10/22/2008, -0/+67Yeah nothing to do with Star Wars. Hans Solo, the lonely German.
  • Aitese, on 10/22/2008, -0/+56You want to watch your friends bone your sister?!
  • bushout, on 10/22/2008, -11/+64Are you kidding? I wanted to be Hans Solo. And now I kind of am, with my Millenium (2000) Ford Escort.
  • vertigo32, on 10/22/2008, -5/+56Am I the only person who sees many parallels betwen Fry in Futurama and Luke? They both are barely competent and when they accomplish something it's more through sheer luck than any competence.

    Han Solo, now he's a badass.
  • PhantomRogue, on 10/22/2008, -1/+48Actually, Mark Hamill was in Star Wars. Luke Skywalker was in a Galaxy far far away.
  • moonbuzz, on 10/22/2008, -3/+50Dugg for: "watching Han have almost constant sex with Leia"

    Poor guy.
  • flyingclutchman, on 10/22/2008, -2/+47Didn't some one on the first run try to use the targeting system and miss? force=more powerful then a targeting system
  • questionable, on 10/22/2008, -2/+47Well, it worked, didn't it?
  • inactive, on 10/22/2008, -10/+55Actually, you still sadly see a bunch of Luke costumes... Oh well, mainly because I sit on my roof every Halloween with a hose.
  • inactive, on 10/22/2008, -0/+41And, it got Leia in a sexy slave girl outfit. ChaChing!
  • Mnevis, on 10/22/2008, -3/+44Yea, he really had no way of even knowing force lightning existed. As far as he could tell, the emperor had no weapons that he could possibly use a lightsaber to defend himself with. But even then, he could always just get it back using the force.

    To be honest, I didn't much like this article because only one of the points is really Luke being stupid (His crazy plan to rescue Han, though it's hard to say what his actual plan was, since I kind of doubt he expected Leia and himself to be captured). Trusting the force to blow up the Death Star was a GOOD idea, as there was clear evidence of the targeting computer NOT being useful, and obviously the force worked, didn't it? Refusing to listen to Yoda is pretty stupid, yes, but how old is Luke? 19? How many 19 year olds do you know that aren't a little stupid when it comes to listening to the older generation? And, to be fair, his father was a whiny bitch too, so it probably runs in the family. Finally, the last point is clearly not Luke being stupid. He's being a freakin Jedi and finally listening to his mentors, like he was bitched at for not doing once already. You can't have it both ways.
  • lintmonkey, on 10/22/2008, -0/+39Join the Jedi, we have wookiees.
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  • SonicNirvana, on 10/22/2008, -0/+35Don't bury him, he probably saw the German version.
  • KenSPT, on 10/22/2008, -2/+36He was also a little small for a Storm Trooper ...
  • EricSchC1, on 10/22/2008, -0/+34Your X-wing must be sitting on cinder blocks, next to an intergalactic washing machine in your un-mowed front yard.
  • toonworld, on 10/22/2008, -0/+33Join the Jedi, we don't have cookies. Actually you're not really allowed to drink either.

    Oh and you're not allowed to fall in love either which means no sex.

    Oh and you're not allowed to be greedy or a capitalist, you exist to serve the people only, so no custom-built speeders.

    While we're at it, chances are you'll never make it to the council since only a select few are chosen for this honor. Aside from that, there are no ranks so you don't really feel any sense of accomplishments.

    So... yeah why are we asking you to be a Jedi again?
  • Garofoli, on 10/22/2008, -31/+63You: “That is the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard of.”

    Luke:“I’ve thought of everything.”

    You: “Clearly you didn’t.”
  • FreakinRepublic, on 10/22/2008, -8/+39lmao infallible logic...bad IS good baby
  • serif69, on 10/22/2008, -1/+31Alphabet fail.
  • lfrankow, on 10/22/2008, -2/+30Not when he rescued her, he didn't. That's the first thing I'd have worked on.

    "pretty short for a stormtrooper"
    "zip. how's that?"
    "wow... "
    "that's right, baby. feel the force. then we blow this pop stand."
  • Scrappy1850, on 10/22/2008, -1/+28poor guy? they let him watch!! i wish my friends were that cool.
  • oyflaaaayvin, on 10/23/2008, -1/+27OMG! I totally just read the same thing in the link several seconds ago!
  • dreamlayers, on 10/22/2008, -1/+263 and 4 are the only valid ones. 1, 2 and 5 just show that the author didn't understand the movie.
    4 (not following Yoda's directions) is showing human weaknesses, and while it makes Luke look weak it works well in the movie overall. 3 (the Jabba part) is the only part that seems truly stupid.
  • Scrappy1850, on 10/22/2008, -1/+26your sister must not be very hot
  • robdiggity, on 10/22/2008, -2/+27God what a little bitch.
  • Scrappy1850, on 10/22/2008, -2/+26it is. i'm into that.
  • Boofster, on 10/22/2008, -8/+32LOL....that's some good stuff.

    Actually if you try to reason most scifi, none of it makes sense. Just enjoy the ride.
  • BoneheadFarker, on 10/22/2008, -2/+24You know...it's not really as fun as you think it is...
  • desertDenizen, on 10/22/2008, -0/+22Running out of the snow cave at Hothian sunset when he had a perfectly good lightsaber. Dumb *****.
  • StuartGibson, on 06/14/2009, -0/+22Have you seen his sister?
  • mysedai, on 10/22/2008, -1/+22Seriously? You just equated Star Wars to Harry Potter?
    Seriously?
  • mysedai, on 10/22/2008, -1/+22The best thing about the new trilogy is that is changed my mind about Luke being the whiniest, tap-ass little bitch in a galaxy far, far away
  • eradicator, on 10/22/2008, -0/+21And right after coming clean with the truth about Anakin being alive, he should have said "Here, take this lightsaber. I swiped it off your dad while he was on fire and then I left him for dead."
  • medjen, on 10/22/2008, -1/+22HanS Solo? Really?
  • doctechnical, on 10/22/2008, -0/+21"Oh, and Luke - if you ever go up against the Emperor, make sure you wear your Faraday Underoos. Trust me on this."
  • diggydougie, on 10/22/2008, -1/+21You could write a very similar piece about Harry Potter. The main difference being that Potter kind of floats through life and things just happen to him. And his friends are constantly bailing him out.
  • Platypus3333, on 10/22/2008, -0/+19No, I meant that SHE didn't tell HIM that they were related. HE told HER.
  • malechite, on 10/22/2008, -2/+21Hans = Han
    Bobbo = Boba
  • miriv365, on 10/22/2008, -0/+18Does Porn Fan Fiction really count as Expanded Universe?
  • Beatmiser, on 10/22/2008, -1/+19That deep kiss in Empire still makes me a bit ill. Yeah Lucas...I'm sure you had all of this planned out in advance... your epic story. I certainly believe that.
  • Harabeck, on 10/22/2008, -0/+18You clearly did not pay attention. Joker would never actually kill him.
  • kalvinb, on 10/22/2008, -0/+17Only 5. Impressive.
  • Scrappy1850, on 10/22/2008, -0/+17my sister is hot. yes.
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