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The 5 Most Needlessly Complex Terror Plots in Film History
cracked.com — Real terrorist plots tend to have two steps: blow stuff up, take credit. Maybe if they're feeling creative they'll blow themselves up or light their shoe on fire first.
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- killbert24, on 05/09/2008, -4/+29Speed was a good popcorn flick back in the day, even if the plot was pretty stupid.
- MalkyMalc, on 05/10/2008, -0/+3Yeah, I think you knew what you were signing up for with Speed. It was one of the last straight-up no-nonsense stupid action movies, that knew what they were and how to deliver bombs, baddies and boobs.
- dunnylovehun, on 05/09/2008, -3/+1wow I never realized how ridiculous Die Hard 2's plot was. That plan totally would have sucked if there hadn't been a blizzard. And also doesn't the guy they're trying to pick up high jack his own plane anyways? Why doesn't he just fly directly to the tropical island?
- GJBlizzard, on 05/09/2008, -0/+5I was never able to get past how terrible Die Hard 2 was to take a real good look at the "intricacies" of the plot.
- carl0ski, on 05/09/2008, -2/+0This article was trash there is no need to say a plot is needless without making alternative suggestions to simplify it.
If he has no suggestions to simplify the plot than how could he understand it to be complex?
It was christmas in Die Hard 2 Blizzard or not it was going to be cold icy with poor visibility.
As far as 'the rock' is concerned regardless of where the soldiers setup shop the military was always going to find them, at least alcatraz had a moat to restrict access.
How does he suggest the Hummel should threaten a large population, and hide from the military- rspeed, on 05/09/2008, -1/+1"It was christmas in Die Hard 2 Blizzard or not it was going to be cold icy with poor visibility"
IN VIRGINIA! It rarely drops below freezing that time of year, much less have a ***** blizzard.- ParanoydAndroid, on 05/10/2008, -2/+2Congratulations on deciphering that sentence. I found it more convoluted than the damn plot line he was referring to.
- rspeed, on 05/09/2008, -1/+1"It was christmas in Die Hard 2 Blizzard or not it was going to be cold icy with poor visibility"
- ElBeh, on 05/09/2008, -2/+41Gosh, Cracked is really looking hard for topics to write about.
- nerdherder, on 05/09/2008, -1/+16Stay tuned for a list of the top five things I have found in my belly button!
- texpundit, on 05/09/2008, -2/+9Jimmy Hoffa!
- elrac, on 05/09/2008, -3/+17Go on.
- Hardac, on 05/09/2008, -1/+2Natalee Holloway
- WolverineBlue, on 05/09/2008, -0/+3The 5 Most Needlessly Needless Cracked.com articles. (and Diggers would still read it)
- pin0chet, on 05/10/2008, -0/+1it's actually quite a funny and well-written article, despite the quixotic nature of the topic
- nerdherder, on 05/09/2008, -1/+16Stay tuned for a list of the top five things I have found in my belly button!
- jeremyduffy, on 05/09/2008, -7/+5The reason Speed failed was because of the scene where QR made it to the bus, but the driver wouldn't open the door for him. He had a GUN IN HIS HAND and could have shot the bus's tires preventing it from reaching the activation speed. Movie ends.
- mindbullets, on 05/09/2008, -2/+4did he know about the speed activation at the time though? He may have just thought there was a bomb on the busy, i can't remember.
- ostracize, on 05/09/2008, -0/+2As soon as he got on the bus he said to the driver: "50! Stay above 50!"
- mindbullets, on 05/09/2008, -2/+4did he know about the speed activation at the time though? He may have just thought there was a bomb on the busy, i can't remember.
- Hitpoint, on 05/09/2008, -2/+5Yeah... i hate deep plots too...
- FearFactory, on 05/09/2008, -1/+26GET OFF MY PLANE!!!!!
- OnlyGirlOnDigg, on 05/09/2008, -2/+23Sean Connery kicked ass in The Rock
- lolwutpear, 9 hr 52 min ago, -0/+0he went home and ***** the prom queen after making it
- wendelgee2, on 05/09/2008, -7/+4Mostly off topic, but "MI-5" is a great show. Or, "Spooks" for our friends on the other side of the pond who aren't freighted with our racial history.
- MikeFallopian, on 05/09/2008, -4/+1It was a great show, until the original main characters all up and left. WIthout Tom and Zoe the show turned to crap.
- spyd3rweb, on 05/09/2008, -2/+19How about that one from The Lone Gunman where they plan to hijack an airplane and crash it into the the World Trade Center?
- pin0chet, on 05/10/2008, -1/+1brilliant comment. thank you, sir.
- x0rcist, on 05/09/2008, -8/+9Buried. The Rock is a fantastic film.
- OnlyGirlOnDigg, on 05/09/2008, -1/+8the article never said that it wasn't
- mille716, on 05/09/2008, -1/+2...when you're 14.
- RobotLeAwesome, on 05/09/2008, -1/+12There was that Travolta flick where you got to see Halle Berry topless "Swordfish" Travolta was a terrorist stealing money from banks in the US...so he could fund killing other terrorists?
- jankind, on 05/09/2008, -0/+11And if it weren't for google image search, I would have most likely watched that movie too.
- BabyWookie, on 05/09/2008, -1/+1Monster's Ball was a lot better in that respect. Fully naked Helle gets her ass pounded by Billy Bob Thornton. LOL.
- jankind, on 05/09/2008, -0/+11And if it weren't for google image search, I would have most likely watched that movie too.
- Ratteler, on 05/09/2008, -8/+1All of them seem credible when you realize the worlds most successful terrorist organization, the MPAA/RIAA has bought off 408 members of Congress to vote for the "Pro Invasion of Privacy" Act.
http://digg.com/tech_news/House_overwhelmingly_pas ... - mindbullets, on 05/09/2008, -6/+6The Rock's plot wasn't that complex and it did make sense. What a great movie.
- SubaruPowah, on 05/09/2008, -4/+2Dog Soldiers.
- cresswga, on 05/09/2008, -0/+3How was Dog Soldiers a terror plot? It was a bunch of soliders on exercise in the Scottish countryside who stumble across some werewolves.
- italics, on 05/09/2008, -2/+2Keanu Reeves's character in speed wasn't an explosives expert? In fact, he had to call someone who was in order to attempt the disarm.
- vondrak, on 05/09/2008, -4/+7Where was Superman (1978)? Lex is going to sink California so his crappy real estate will become ocean front property?
btw, I'm not knocking superman, just Luther for always trying to work real estate into his criminal "super genius" plans.- BrainInAJar, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1the money's in real estate *nod*
- ShooterMcGavin, on 05/09/2008, -2/+3I have read a book that puts all of these movies to shame in the Needlessly-Complex hall of fame.
Black Wind by Clive Cussler. If any of you have read that, you will instantly agree with me.
http://jasonhaberman.com/index.php/2006/08/22/blac ...
It was unbelievable just how insane that book was. - barrakuda, on 05/09/2008, -1/+18Snakes...on a plane.
Infinitely more ridiculous.- b3owulf, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1Seconded
- FluentinSarcasm, on 05/09/2008, -4/+3Kevin Federline was the submitter?
- postalblowfish7, on 05/09/2008, -3/+1wow - this 'article' had more pictures than words. cracked continues to slip slip slip...
- CaviMike, on 05/09/2008, -1/+7Live Free or Die Hard. If all they had to do was send all the gas pressure to something to blow it up, why did they waste their time with all of the other *****?
- geniuslocimusic, on 05/09/2008, -3/+1How about top 5 unnecessary top 5 lists?
- darny, on 05/09/2008, -3/+1"Of course, every bus will eventually go above 50 MPH and slow back down, so you still might be in the clear. You just need to make sure you keep your stupid loophole a secret until the bomb blows up."
Huh? Am I the only one not seeing the loophole here?- ZigVicious, on 05/09/2008, -0/+2yeah.
- redfan, on 05/09/2008, -1/+2Speed Reading was better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaKxRN2LdEI - Syphon8, on 05/09/2008, -3/+1Star Wars anyone?
They needed three whole movies to describe the setup for the empire taking over the galaxy.- Goblin, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1God knows we didn't need those movies. LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU GEORGE
- Syphon8, on 05/10/2008, -0/+1I see what you did there.
- Goblin, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1God knows we didn't need those movies. LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU GEORGE
- fingthething, on 05/09/2008, -2/+0Die Hard 3 should have been in there.
- SpectralSounds, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1Die Hard 3 was actually a pretty practical idea for robbing that bank.
- carl0ski, on 05/09/2008, -1/+0definitely should have been instead of The Rock
Nothing more bizarre than using kid game activated bombs to distract the police force while you steal the worlds gold
then furthermore pretend to blow it up with not so pretend explosives
- Diggey11, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1The Rock still kicked major ass.
- zoethebitch, on 05/09/2008, -0/+0Young actress pictured with Harrison Ford is now worth close to $500M
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liesel_Pritzker and many other sources) - MaxMWood, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1I thought all those films were great. Just for the record, Die Hard 4.0 sucked.
- NeoCortex, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1Not even an honorary mention for the James Bond series?
- solid12345, on 05/10/2008, -1/+1How about the worst and most confusing & complex terror plot of them all - The Matrix
So let's see there has been like uh...7 matrixes...and 7 neos...all humans are wiped out and started back to 24, and they all reproduce and get put back in the goo....rinse, recycle, repeat, oh and they all make their way back down to Zion again somehow - MalkyMalc, on 05/10/2008, -0/+1Arlington Road should totally be number one. Action movies can be forgiven for having a daft/contrived plot, but that movie took itself a little too seriously.
Anyone remember Jeff Bridges running up to the car at the end? Jowls flapping everywhere? Nnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooo! - jplily, on 05/10/2008, -0/+0i hate deep plots too...
- jennabunnykins, on 05/11/2008, -0/+1A top 5 list on two pages.. sigh. Why Cracked-- WHY??
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