113 Comments
- travisty17, on 08/22/2008, -11/+561. JESUS OF NAZARETH, THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST
108 whippings
43 punches/smacks/strikes
1 throw off bridge
1 puncturing of forehead by crown of thorns
6 kicks in ribs and back
3 nailings
1 spearing in ribs
Incident report: Holy ***** Christ. Jesus is thoroughly beat down from beginning to end, reduced to a blood sprinkler by the time it´s all over. We´re just relieved that the ending keeps things open for a sequel.
Doctor´s note: "I have absolutely no experience with whipping, but I know it´s meant to cause a lot of pain and bleeding. It´s not meant to kill, because it was used as a repeatable punishment, but you can die from any kind of beating, especially one that´s opening skin like that."
I'm not even kidding. - final_sound, on 08/22/2008, -5/+48I can't tell you how much I loathe lists which require you to click "next page" for each entry. NO digg just for that.
- Elranzer, on 08/23/2008, -3/+43Needs more pages. I didn't see ENOUGH ads.
- millonzi, on 08/23/2008, -2/+38What about Officer Murphy in the beginning of Robocop? Come on!
- PabloIV, on 08/23/2008, -2/+3613 pages
for crying out loud - FasmTrout, on 08/23/2008, -2/+34Dugg for referring to Jesus an action star and not a religious figure.
- mcdougan, on 08/22/2008, -1/+29Jesus caught me by surprise there
- alankem, on 08/23/2008, -11/+34Maxim?
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..................................., - michaelothomas, on 08/23/2008, -2/+17Umm, hello? Robocop? Anyone? He gets half his appendages blown off and actually dies.
- doublefelix, on 08/23/2008, -2/+163. THE BLACK KNIGHT, MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL
1 bonk on head
1 severed right arm
1 severed left arm
1 severed right leg
1 severed left leg
Incident report: Gets hacked down to a Potato Head doll in short order. You have to give him credit for showing some real heart.
Doctor´s note: "I´ve been doing this a long time, and I´ve never seen all four limbs severed; the hemorrhaging would be deadly. Luckily, the blood vessels have a safety mechanism that helps them clot on their own. It´s sort of like when you cut your thumb slicing a bagel. You need elevation and pressure, and, of course, surgery." - rinote, on 08/23/2008, -1/+1513 pages? This is ***** insane!
- whahaa, on 08/23/2008, -2/+15not a bad list, but lacking Ash, Evil Dead 1 and 2.
- ScottMcIntyre, on 08/22/2008, -1/+13Ouch! Arnie and Mel Gibson each take 2 poundings in these awesome photos.
- mogebier, on 08/23/2008, -1/+12Ass Holes who make web sites that make lists and PUT 1 THING ON EACH PAGE should get Herpes. And Anal Warts. And Locusts.
- JeffH, on 08/23/2008, -2/+12I'm not religious, but that's a terrible argument in a list whose other subjects are Rambo, Superman, The Terminator, etc.
- brincatmark, on 08/22/2008, -4/+12Jesus is bacK! harder, leaner, stronger!
- SirBruce, on 08/23/2008, -0/+8No Murphy from RoboCop?
Damn, I'm like the 5th person who has posted this. - ZenMojo, on 08/23/2008, -1/+9Needs a Prequel.
Jesus Christ: Before the Passion
Tagline: "He came not to bring peace, but a sword." - BeastOfGevaudan, on 08/23/2008, -1/+8Edward Norton's character in Fight Club doesn't have a name
- Abominous, on 08/23/2008, -1/+8No Murphy from Robocop?
- bmystry, on 08/23/2008, -2/+8The whole religion thing could be false but Jesus was in fact a real living person.
- chillypacman, on 08/23/2008, -0/+6What about Robo Cop?
- insinuate, on 08/23/2008, -0/+6thanks for adding ***** to a ***** mountain. More please.
- 12OunceMouse, on 08/23/2008, -0/+5i guess i missed the episode where Captain Picard gets a headache from reading maxim
- jonnymj, on 08/23/2008, -0/+5Another great one, that is one of the most gruesome scenes I have ever seen.
- retrovertigo, on 08/23/2008, -2/+7Wow, Jesus really is number one!
- FatPig78, on 08/23/2008, -2/+7CRUCIFY THIS!!!!!
- phogasmic, on 08/23/2008, -1/+6Maxim is looking very dated. Screw them for that blatant attempt to inflate page views
- inactive, on 08/23/2008, -2/+6It's just a flesh wound.
- Rentinu, on 08/22/2008, -3/+7No more Mr. Passive Resistance!
- DeFex, on 08/23/2008, -0/+4Mr bill took much worse.
1: smooshed
2: smooshed
3: smooshed
... - 335io07, on 08/23/2008, -1/+5Superman II. Clark Kent lost all his powers and got beat up by a redneck. Clark Kent gets his powers back, goes back in time and beats the ***** of a confused redneck. LOL. Funniest ***** ever.
- JGUSMC7, on 08/23/2008, -0/+4I had no idea Jesus was a Action Hero, just assumed he was a Hero.
- rpgguy1o1, on 08/23/2008, -0/+3only 4 ads per page too!
- redfred18t, on 08/23/2008, -0/+3What about "Passion of the Christ 2: Crucify This!"
- BedPost, on 08/23/2008, -0/+3eww locusts
- EpicSelekta, on 08/23/2008, -0/+3Since his mad romp through the temple of Jerusalem, where he basically ***** up the storefronts of anyone trying to make profit from religion. Televangelists, take note! This was kinda the reason why the Jews got pissed at him.
- inactive, on 08/23/2008, -1/+4i like the part where the action heroes get their asses kicked
- ZenMojo, on 08/23/2008, -2/+5Because Martin Riggs and Indiana Jones, clearly, are real men.
- giveer, on 08/23/2008, -0/+3Psssst.. If I kill my mom in the name of Winston Churchhill, doesn't mean that Winston Churchill killed my mom.. And I'm pretty sure Winston Churchhill didn't give my mom AIDs either. But you can't be too careful I suppose.
- insinuate, on 08/23/2008, -4/+7puuuussy
- orbitron, on 08/23/2008, -1/+3my feelings exactly.
- seiga, on 08/23/2008, -0/+2And the face palm begins it's downward turn from clever to pretentious.
::sigh::
kinda funny while it lasted. - sillyelf74, on 08/23/2008, -0/+2I was surprised "The Last Boyscout" was not on this list.
- phantoap, on 08/23/2008, -0/+2I'm with you on that. I was sure Robocop would be on the list.
- warcry, on 08/24/2008, -0/+2No Rocky! What the hell ?
- InfinitySnatch, on 08/23/2008, -0/+2Goku
- kiffar, on 08/23/2008, -0/+2true, he died atleast 6 times throughout the entire saga
- DonKarnage25, on 08/23/2008, -1/+3That's what the Jews said.
- geekyfrans, on 08/23/2008, -0/+2Edward Norton in fight club; his name wasn't jack, he read about jack in the books stashed in Tyler's house and it was supposed to be a joke every time he mentioned it later in the movie, he was nameless and he was simple just "narrator".
silly maxim.... -
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