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- rmw132, on 10/11/2007, -1/+126Transformers...Insurance Claims In Disguise
- inactive, on 10/11/2007, -0/+108Who else was hoping it was to the guy yesterday who changed his name?
- rudy23, on 10/11/2007, -1/+96FTW
your premium has increased to $235,567.50 per month. While that may seem like a lot, I remind you that it is a savings of $137 over Progressive and $98 over State Farm. - IEatEmoKids, on 10/11/2007, -2/+57***** brilliant.
- dWhisper, on 10/11/2007, -1/+51That is perhaps, quite possibly, the funniest thing I have ever read.
"$379,431.34 requested reimbursement for repairs to your truck cabin. You claimed the damage was caused by attacking fighter jets."
The tone is absolutely spot on for something an insurance agent would say. - EricAnderton, on 10/11/2007, -0/+38Saving a lot on your car insurance, is the right of all sentient beings.
- Spytap, on 11/02/2007, -0/+36Only if you want to be...
"Bumblebee, stop lubricating the human!" - DwallyDhonk, on 10/11/2007, -3/+38Autobots! Transform and lawyer up!
- hbeierg, on 10/11/2007, -1/+33its getting slow
Dear Mr. Prime,
We have received your accident-claim reports for the month of June—they total 27. I regret to inform you that GEICO will not be able to reimburse you for any of those repairs. I feel that I have sent the same letter to you once a month for the last six months, and I am now sending it again.
Since becoming a GEICO customer in January of this year, you have reported 131 accidents, requesting reimbursement for repairs necessitated by each one. You have claimed not to be responsible in any of them, usually listing the cause of the accident as either "Sneak attack by Decepticons" or "Unavoidable damage caused by protecting freedom for all sentient beings."
The only repairs for which you were reimbursed were the replacement of a cracked fender and a headlight, required after a Mr. I. Ron Hide backed his van into your truck; these cost $1,286.63. Our own investigation concluded that you were not at fault and that Mr. Hide had been drinking prior to the accident. Though police were unable to test his blood-alcohol level—Mr. Hide claimed that it would be impossible for police to examine his blood-alcohol content with a Breathalyzer, because he "doesn't breathe"—under Washington-state law, refusal to take a Breathalyzer test is equivalent to returning a result above the legal level.
But, I repeat, those were the only repairs for which you have been reimbursed, and it was a very minor accident in comparison to your other claims. I mention a few to illustrate the larger trend:
* $379,431.34 requested reimbursement for repairs to your truck cabin. You claimed the damage was caused by attacking fighter jets.
* $665,789.11 requested reimbursement for repairs to your trailer. You claimed the damage was caused by a giant mechanical scorpion, which I can only assume is some amusement-park ride, although I question the wisdom of bringing your mobile home so close to such dangerous equipment.
* $6,564,239.44 requested reimbursement for repairs to a truck part called the "Autobot Matrix of Leadership." You stated this occurred in "an ultimate confrontation between good and evil," with a Ms. Meg Atron and a Mr. U. Nicron causing the damage in question. Mr. Prime, I have checked every known car- and truck-part catalog published in the United States and have found nothing even resembling that part, never mind any part so expensive. Whatever disagreements you had with Ms. Atron and Mr. Nicron, I suggest that next time you either settle things peaceably or leave your Autobot Matrix of Leadership at home so it doesn't break. GEICO does not cover Autobot Matrix of Leaderships.
And the list goes on. Mr. Prime, I am going to remind you again: Your policy with GEICO only reimburses you for accidents that occur while you are engaged in the reasonable use of your truck and trailer. As I told you when you originally purchased the policy, GEICO does not offer Megatron coverage, Starscream coverage, Soundwave coverage, Decepticon coverage, or Energon-blast coverage. Those are just not the types of damages we would expect from reasonable use.
To sum up, GEICO has been unable to reimburse you for any repairs, but due to the high number of accidents you have been a party to this month, combined with the many accidents you have had in the preceding five months, your premium has increased to $235,567.50 per month. While that may seem like a lot, I remind you that it is a savings of $137 over Progressive and $98 over State Farm. Please have your check into our main office by the end of July.
Regards,
Simon Furman
GEICO Agent - Zaeyde, on 10/11/2007, -1/+32Ms. Meg Atron and Mr U. Nitron.
Hahaha.
GEICO should eat this up and use it as marketing or something... Claim to retract letter and reimburse and stuff. - absinth1977, on 10/11/2007, -0/+30I work in the insurance field and have grown up in an insurance environment. I'm 30 now and yes, I grew up with the Transformers. Reading this I couldn't help but laugh my ass off.
However I would argue that he check the wording of his Comprehensive coverage and argue 'vandalism'.
The Matrix though... he's ***** unless he's got a homeowner's policy as that's considered personal property. - kaeves, on 10/11/2007, -0/+28So will Michael Moore's next documentary be about how hard it is for Autobots to get decent coverage?
- Spytap, on 11/02/2007, -1/+28Transformers Roll out!
*Optimus Prime transforms into Big Rig
*Bob Loblaw transforms into Ambulance chaser - zyklon, on 10/11/2007, -3/+26What if I'm caught in the crossfire between Prime and Megatron? Am I *****?
- MEbuDDy6, on 10/11/2007, -2/+24Paypal will seize his funds for "suspicious behavior" and then request that he faxes he SS#, business license, driver's license, etc... And maybe in 6-12 months they might release his funds.
paypalsucks.com - Sp4nk, on 10/11/2007, -4/+22When are you nimrods going to get it through your thick skulls that the number of diggs is irrelevant? 5000 people could've clicked the link and 4944 of them thought it was stupid.
- jedi924, on 10/11/2007, -0/+15That is one of the funnest things I have read in a long time. What a great way to kill time while waiting to get off work.
- AgentHatchet, on 10/11/2007, -4/+18He should have no trouble putting together a PayPal account to cover those expenses
- DCJoeDogaswell, on 10/11/2007, -0/+14HOLY *****, I'm not the only one that has happened to?! I am not crazy!!!
- inactive, on 10/11/2007, -0/+11loved the savings he gets at the end of the letter. ***** insurance companies....
- crime_think, on 10/11/2007, -0/+10Oh, McSweeny's... You make irreverent look so easy.
- rudy23, on 10/11/2007, -1/+10http://duggmirror.com/movies/Open_Letter_to_Optimus_Prime_from_GEICO/
- killerofkiller, on 10/11/2007, -0/+9Whatever disagreements you had with Ms. Atron and Mr. Nicron, I suggest that next time you either settle things peaceably or leave your Autobot Matrix of Leadership at home so it doesn't break. GEICO does not cover Autobot Matrix of Leaderships.
classic - catalytica, on 10/11/2007, -0/+9I just saw Die Hard 4. This is not an unreasonable insurance claim!
- HCJfilms, on 10/11/2007, -0/+7Dugg because this kind of clever humor is the *****
- xyqxyq, on 10/11/2007, -0/+7Then digg his comment up and move on.
- Jericon, on 10/11/2007, -0/+6And to think... when I first read the headline and description I thought that it was about the guy who changed his name to Optimus Prime.
- saqibnk, on 10/11/2007, -0/+5because he has demonstrated he is a ***** driver thus making his chances of getting in an accident higher leading to higher premium to cover the costs....its the same reason why teenagers who drive red sport cars have really high premiums
- Kinjiru, on 10/11/2007, -0/+5Ahh... so thats why our rates keep going up!!!
Sue Hollywood dammit!!! - Antixian, on 10/11/2007, -0/+4lol i love this ..."Sneak attack by Decepticons"
- rudy23, on 10/11/2007, -0/+4http://duggmirror.com/movies/Open_Letter_to_Optimus_Prime_from_GEICO/
- crewof502, on 10/11/2007, -0/+3"GEICO does not cover Autobot Matrix of Leaderships."
- dmoney22, on 10/11/2007, -3/+6Insurance claims: more than meets the eye!
- kanago, on 10/11/2007, -1/+4I totally thought this was to the guy who changed his name.
- NiGHTSChao, on 10/11/2007, -2/+5***** epic!
- h2g242, on 10/11/2007, -1/+4im pretty sure soundwave is behind all of this... hes the terrorist of the autobot world.
- Racerx52, on 10/11/2007, -0/+3Apparently you haven't seen a special episode of family guy.
Optimus is jewish. - opticsnake, on 10/11/2007, -0/+3Laughed my ass off while sitting in my cubicle. This is now going around the office.
- sk8ngame, on 10/11/2007, -0/+3http://youtube.com/watch?v=03I6GN6vIq4
- popltree2, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2Did you even read it?
- popltree2, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2Funniest thing I have read all day. Thank you.
- PleaseJustDie, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2because he still needs insurance to be able to drive legally. And with his previous track record no one else would insure him, so might as well take him for everything they can.
- Narwaffle, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2Because it *is* ***** hilarious.
- GoodlySheep, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2"...To sum up, GEICO has been unable to reimburse you for any repairs..."
"...your premium has increased to $235,567.50 per month..."
Just like those GEICO crooks to jack up his premium And deny all claims. - Matri, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2Link?
- micro506, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2If you remember correctly, you'll recall that at the end of the film, Hot Rod (now Rodimus Prime) takes control of the Matrix.
Good day, sir. - swizzcheez, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2What a superb use of anti-argument to get your real point across. Bravo sir, you indeed are the embodiment of a concealed wit.
- catalytica, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2Brilliant! =)
- colinrgodsey, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1why do i find this ***** hilarious, lol
- ronaldinho, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1It only takes Optimus Prime 5 minutes to incur damage costs
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