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261 Comments
- guitarplayer673, on 04/13/2009, -2/+281"Those aren't ideas, those are just special effects"
"I...don't understand the difference..." - SpectreFire, on 04/14/2009, -4/+202Wait... I'm confused.
This is The Onion but...
This isn't fake news! - toastercookie, on 04/13/2009, -4/+164The best quote of this article by far:
"I'll use every directorial tool I have to suck the very last ounce of life and charm out of this beloved cartoon," added Bay, claiming that the film could turn out to be the most colossal piece of ***** he's ever worked on. "I won't rest until I get every last scene exactly wrong." - dixhuit, on 04/13/2009, -14/+157Haha. Only Michael Bay needs $50 million to ***** something up. Most directors would use that amount of money to at least attempt something constructive.
I'd ***** up Michael Bay for free.
"Who knows? With Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and ThunderCats coming out in the same year, I may finally reach my goal of making all of America hate cinema forever." - PeanutCheeseBar, on 04/14/2009, -3/+135When I saw this, I actually almost believed it.
- AlDaTbagsNChina, on 04/13/2009, -4/+79Thunder! Thunder!! Thundercats NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
- rashawty, on 04/14/2009, -1/+76Almost believed it? Even after i saw onion.com i was sure it was real.
- buakaw, on 04/14/2009, -2/+60I would like to see Michael Bay direct a porn movie. Every thrust and sexual act are done in slow motion and in synchrony with an epic orchestra music. Intensity would be expressed by zooming into the girl's eyes then quickly zooming into the guy's eyes and finally, zooming into a slowly dropping bead of sweat (with a slow-mo splash sound effect). Blowjobs will be done in stop frame animations. Most porn scenes end with a facial, not with this one. Upon receiving a facial, a chip in the girl's head will activate and cause her to explode. It's not a Michael Bay film without ***** explosions.
- ZeroCharacter, on 04/13/2009, -3/+61"Bay reportedly only agreed to ***** up ThunderCats after several specific conditions were written into his contract. According to the terms of the deal, Bay must be allowed to eliminate the character Panthro entirely to focus on the asinine relationship between Snarf and Snarfer, and include nearly 22 minutes of frenetic, impossible-to-follow action sequences that he hopes will annoy the living Christ out of audiences."
Brilliant. - mparker21311, on 04/14/2009, -4/+59Onion rolled again!
- arcangelgabriel, on 04/14/2009, -1/+55"I'd ***** up Michael Bay for free."
THAT'S worth a digg. - telebacon, on 04/13/2009, -4/+56"You will all ***** hate me," he continued.
- mizarone, on 04/14/2009, -1/+44Yep, the Onion pulled a Daily Show
- plaguepony, on 04/14/2009, -1/+44BAYSPLOSION!
- BrendanJB, on 04/14/2009, -4/+42I really have to disagree on that one; Transformers was not a good movie.
It had great CG, a couple of good robot fight scenes and nice explosions, but far and few between. Was your favorite part where Labouf had to ride a girls bike and get all embarrassed? Or was it the part where the popular girl realized her popular boyfriend was a douchebag and fell in love with the nerd and they all drove off in to the sunset. No, no, it was the part where one of the Transformers was bumbling about in the garden. HO HO HO, that sure was funny wasn't it. They don't know our customs at all!
Honestly I felt like punching somebody in the face after watching that movie. I have no idea how somebody could have made a story about giant transforming robots in to something about the relationship between 2 teenage doormats and their braindead adventures, but somehow Bay managed to do it.
Here's hoping the sequel has more robots and less cliche ***** that's just taking precious screentime away from the best part characters in the movie. - iEATcatFOOD, on 04/14/2009, -2/+31"Michael Bay has this innate sense of how to ruin a great story," "His ability to create astonishing plot holes, pepper dialogue with groan-inducing clichés, and abandon storylines halfway through is unparalleled. He was born to destroy this movie."
lol. - mediaphile, on 04/14/2009, -1/+30Better than a Michael Bay movie.
- Jhiaxuz, on 04/14/2009, -2/+30Snarf Snarf!
- psolms, on 04/14/2009, -0/+27http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0471307/
- Georgy, on 04/14/2009, -7/+33I liked The Island :(
- 1gunners4, on 04/14/2009, -2/+27This is going to seem blasphemous, but... No. No, Thundercats was not good to begin with.
Based purely off of nostalgia, I bought the Thundercats DVDs the first day they came out. My college roommates and I immediately went home with some beer and pizza to revel in the glory that was Thundercats, only... we got the glory that was Thundercats? The plots and dialogue was cheesy, sure, but you underestimate how bad the animation, voice acting, and pacing are; it literally plays like an episode of Family Matters, complete with the moral lesson and group laugh at the end. I'll probably get slammed for this, but the show really isn't very good at all, and part of my childhood died when I realized this. - brookslarson, on 04/14/2009, -0/+21I nearly exploded. The process goes like this.
1. Saw a movie deal for Thundercats. Elation. Joy.
2. Michael Bay. HATE. Discord. Anger.
3. 50 Million Dollars. MORE HATE. MORE ANGER.
4. ??? - childhood dying
5. theonion.com - *****. they got me.
I'm going to go throw up now. - glaz, on 04/14/2009, -2/+22"***** Michael Bay"
- SolidSnak, on 04/14/2009, -0/+17YES!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fb50GMmY5nk
- pensivewombat, on 04/14/2009, -0/+15I dunno I was a big fan of:
"No filmmaker working today has Bay's ability to somehow direct his actors to be both emotionless and melodramatic at once," Warner Bros. CEO Barry Meyer said. "And I personally can't wait to see how he needlessly overcomplicates the plot. - bigbenorr, on 04/14/2009, -7/+21was Thundercats all that good to begin with? I mean I watched it, but I was like......7
- Wreckage, on 04/14/2009, -4/+18In a double insult Will Smith will get the lead.
- maz2331, on 04/14/2009, -1/+15I'll do it for $25 million, AND throw in 3-D for free.
- rabidjester, on 04/14/2009, -0/+13Just wait til you scroll down, and run into the people describing what people are doing in the beginning of the same thread.
- sirbeta, on 04/14/2009, -1/+14The sad thing is even though this is an onion article, it's so possible to believe.
- Whatasillyhat, on 04/14/2009, -0/+12Ugh. And my reply was the response of the police officer in the episode.
"Those aren't ideas, those are just special effects"
"I...don't understand the difference..."
"I know you don't."
I should have put quotes marks around it. - PattycakesHaze, on 04/14/2009, -1/+13THANK YOU. Nearly every single person I knew outside of my immediate group of friends praised the movie and reminded me regularly how wonderful it was when it came out...
The entire movie was a side story to the actual freaking robots. Minus that absurdly stupid little f***er robot that had more screen time than Optimus...
...and dont get me STARTED on Shia LeBouf in that film...or any of the dialogue...
"SHES A CRIMINAL!"
= maybe the worst side story in history. - jeremymccurdy, on 04/14/2009, -3/+15It's nice to know that there are two of us that like that movie...
- thespiff, on 04/14/2009, -0/+12Gah I've definitely been reading too much financial/economic news lately. I read 50Mil and it didn't sound like a lot. I actually thought "Is that really enough to make a big obnoxious Michael Bay movie?"
- HeDiggMe, on 04/14/2009, -1/+13Damn Onion confusion. I thought the story was real and the submitter was being sarcastic.
- HillBully, on 04/14/2009, -0/+11http://xs538.xs.to/xs538/09161/cheetara896.jpg
- nyr633, on 04/14/2009, -2/+13He gives a 5 minute interview to some mom and pop website, answers almost all his questions, and plays along with the interviewers little gag at the beginning... How does that make him a douche? Seems pretty down to earth. Most people on the red carpet can't wait to get way from you...
- protogenxl, on 04/14/2009, -0/+10YES DAMMIT!
- psolms, on 04/14/2009, -0/+9too good for words
- drgmdp, on 04/14/2009, -0/+9wait.
wait. - JakeyG14, on 04/14/2009, -0/+9The Dark Knight's about a rich dude who dresses up as a bat and fights crime at night time. He also has a "coarse" (to put it on way) voice.
You can simplify any film down to its fundamentals, that doesn't mean it has an excuse for being a shower of *****. I'm not really into indie films, but I do appreciate good films that the director has a choice of making into a typical Bay-esque flick or actually trying to keep the audience entertained through more than CGI and and T&A, and chooses the latter.
P.S. T&A never hurt anyone, so I'll let that gratuitous over exposure of Megan Fox fly. - Akairenn, on 04/14/2009, -1/+10Try watching the original Transformers, as well. It's... painful, to say the least.
It's not the fact that I'm old and used to walk uphill both ways in the snow; no; most cartoons from the 80s and early 90s blew chunks*. We just didn't know any better, we were freaking kids.
* Except ExoSquad. ExoSquad > all. It was the BSG of its day. :p - rebotfc, on 04/14/2009, -1/+10we already do
- dupems, on 04/14/2009, -1/+10This is believable.
- mrnathan, on 04/14/2009, -0/+9cars driving cars!?
- plainOldFool, on 04/14/2009, -0/+9Samual Jackson as Mumm-Ra?
- PizzaEagle, on 04/14/2009, -9/+18Thundercats suck anyway. Anyone who likes them is a repressed furry.
- mediaphile, on 04/14/2009, -0/+9The leads already went to Ben Affleck, Hayden Christensen, Tara Reid, and Rob Schneider, as shown in the graphic to the left of the article.
- dyne666, on 04/14/2009, -0/+8honestly. i watched cartoons from this era. and thundercats WASNT that good to begin with. give me some transformers, mask, gi joe. maybe even robotix
- Foenetik, on 04/14/2009, -0/+8I remember it fondly, but the last time I actually watched an episode Liono was trying to save some island full of unicorns. it was horrible.
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