What is Digg?180 Comments
- phaseblue, on 02/06/2008, -0/+120"221. My force-field generators will be located inside the shield they generate." Win.
- fluidfoundation, on 02/06/2008, -0/+117If I'm Ever a Starfleet Captain: I will put a zipper in my uniform so I can quickly use the non-existent bathrooms on the ship. All that hot earl grey tea really gets to you after a while.
- BigLLamasHouse, on 02/06/2008, -1/+113If I'm Ever a Starfleet Captain Denise Richards will be my First Mate, before breakfast
- Error601, on 02/06/2008, -4/+80This one shows how old the list is:
120. My ship's computer will have a clock rate of at least one megahertz and be programmed in C or assembler so that important calculations take a few milliseconds instead of an hour or so. - sharkd, on 02/06/2008, -0/+70The server cannae take any more, Captain! It just can't handle the strain.
- Tsujigiri, on 02/06/2008, -0/+68This list used to float around dial up BBS in the early nineties. It's a nice piece of nostalgia. Thanks!
- 2bitkubrick, on 02/06/2008, -0/+59"135. If my ship is whisked to the far side of the galaxy, leaving us with a seventy-year journey home, and a super-being offers to take us home instantly in exchange for having his baby, I'll agree and ask what we can get for two babies."
--easily the best. - breckinshire, on 02/06/2008, -1/+59That made me laugh so hard I almost knocked the phone off of the acoustic coupler
- decker12, on 02/06/2008, -1/+44I have most of this list in my "Saved Messages" folder as a forwarded email, dated July 11th, 1996. It's the oldest email I've ever saved, and now 12 years later it's on the front page of Digg. I don't know if that makes me want to bury it or digg it.
- Joomal, on 02/06/2008, -2/+39JOCK ALERT
- loveandrockets, on 02/06/2008, -0/+35"I would have a designated away-team. A squad of space marines with open com links..
I will not send my chief engineer, pilot, chief scientist, helm officer, top doctor, admiral, captain, Dr. McKay, a General, or the only android in the universe to the scary planet's unknown surface." - Joomal, on 02/06/2008, -6/+39Not really. A computer of 1Mhz programmed in Assember would be extremely quick as long as it is just a calculator and not running bloated windows :)
- legendxx, on 02/06/2008, -0/+31phasers
- LEPT0N, on 02/06/2008, -0/+30also: "99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size."
*sigh*... - ayeroxor, on 02/06/2008, -1/+28Sorry it has too many words, honey. We'll try to find one with more pictures just for you, okay?
- SkippyDoorknob, on 02/06/2008, -0/+26Or you could stand near the transporter and pee into the beam.
- dash1185, on 02/06/2008, -0/+25You mean that liquid that tastes almost, but not entirely, exactly unlike tea ?
- purelithium, on 02/06/2008, -3/+28http://www.sff.net/paradise/overlord.html#captain is the real link...
- DrMonkeyLove, on 02/06/2008, -0/+24The Internet is cyclical... and as such, who wants to buy a 9600 baud modem for $100?
- PaperMonkey, on 02/06/2008, -0/+23Isn't that akin to trying to lift yourself off the ground by reaching around, grabbing your own collar and lifting...?
- SpaceMonkeyZero, on 02/06/2008, -0/+22Ctrl+F Captain
- MV559er, on 02/06/2008, -0/+22Are you talking about a site-to-site transport to the bathroom, or are you talking about having the piss beamed directly out of your bladder into space??
- misteral, on 02/06/2008, -0/+21>> I will design my ships so that command and control functions cannot be hot-wired from a wall panel in the recreation bay.
Since when do Captains design their ships?? - doctechnical, on 02/06/2008, -0/+21The same place he puts the Captain's Log.
- ChicagoDS, on 02/06/2008, -2/+23Is AM IN TEH HOLLIDECK HOTWIRIN' TEH SYSTEMS
- DrMonkeyLove, on 02/06/2008, -3/+24SPOILER ALERT!
Wait, I think I did this wrong. - inactive, on 02/06/2008, -0/+20Only if you know where your towel is.
- brstilson, on 02/06/2008, -0/+19I will make sure to bring a better variety of music so my crew will have more to listen to than just 20th century Earth Jazz and Klingon Opera.
I will not void the deflector dish warranty by using it in ways it was never intended to be used.
I will design my ship to have aerodynamics better than that of a barstool so I can realistically expect to have the ability to fly it through a planet's atmosphere.
Maintenance accessways will be large enough to facilitate ***** actually getting done without someone having to cram themselves through a 1/2 meter tunnel to work on something.
I will instruct every officer and crewman to pivot their phasers left and right to increase damage rather than trying to hit every target straight on
I will put the holodeck on a completely separate system with it's own power generator. It will have absolutely no physical connection to the ship's control circuits in any way, shape, or form. - Otto, on 02/06/2008, -3/+19For calculations about trajectories in space and such, that's really all you need.
- rspeed, on 02/06/2008, -0/+15Because even a transporter that works instantly can only achieve light speed.
- TheKrillr, on 02/06/2008, -0/+14on the ceiling, so he can boldly go where no man has gone before.
- warbird, on 02/06/2008, -1/+15limited range... and have you seen how long it takes to transport people? atleast a few seconds. cannot compare to warp speed.
Engange! - gwellington, on 02/06/2008, -0/+1481. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off, and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat, instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
- hockachu, on 02/06/2008, -1/+15Mirror: http://duggmirror.com/movies/If_I_m_Ever_a_Starfle ...
- SkippyDoorknob, on 02/06/2008, -0/+13What's wrong with that? That's how I got on the roof to set up my satellite dish.
- Falldog, on 02/06/2008, -2/+15One Word: Transporters
- NoCt1, on 02/06/2008, -1/+14I would give you like ten diggs but i cant
- vondrak, on 02/06/2008, -1/+14I only made it to #33. But I'm sure I won't miss anything b/c all the good ones will be repeated in comments.
- justok, on 02/06/2008, -0/+12There was ONE on the 1701-D
- groo68, on 02/06/2008, -1/+13Unless it was in quantum Mhz.
- Eccentric1, on 02/06/2008, -0/+12And just what website did you think you were at?
- inactive, on 02/06/2008, -0/+12You think Kirk ever beamed a turd onto the bridge of a Klingon or Romulan vessel?
- Kenzan, on 02/06/2008, -0/+11If I were Cap'n, I'd never have time to actually command the ship. I'd spend all my time having virtual orgies with virtual green skinned chicks on the holo-deck.
- azimir, on 02/06/2008, -1/+12Okay people. This is copied almost verbatim from: http://eviloverlord.com/
Which, I might add, has been on the web for a VERY long time and should be mandatory reading for anyone who admits to liking any kind of evil overlord-based plot line. This includes fantasy, SciFi, Space Opera, contemporary and/or James Bond genre movies. - entrophize, on 02/06/2008, -1/+12Yea but it will make for great barrel rolls.
- redmaxx, on 02/06/2008, -1/+11Sisko was involved in the design of the Defiant.
- ayeroxor, on 02/06/2008, -1/+11One stupid post devoid of content and I already blocked you??
i'm just sayin... - groo68, on 02/06/2008, -0/+9Technically it doesn't have to be beamed anywhere, It's torn down to the atoms so it could just be disintegrated or if need be the oxygen and hydrogen could be stored as fuel. That is in case of the replicators breaking and oxygen and hydrogen can't be created.
- feshmania, on 02/06/2008, -2/+11liqour at every command station...that won't lead to any deaths
- taketheleap, on 02/06/2008, -0/+9...my entire ship would be Ensign Rickys. That way, if my ship ever gets invaded, I will survive.
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