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Bill & Ted's Completely Unnecessary Remake

io9.com — Another classic science fiction franchise is getting the "reboot" treatment... but, this time... It's a completely unexcellent idea!

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  • emptypew, on 04/04/2008, -4/+68Somethings afoot at the Circle K.
    • leonhyral, on 04/04/2008, -1/+18Put them in the Iron Maiden.
      Iron Maiden? Excellent!
      Execute them!
      Bogus!
    • drewlew, on 04/04/2008, -8/+2Strange things are happening at the Circle K.

      I believe is how it went.
    • unreg, on 04/04/2008, -5/+1Classic? Shirley you jest.
    • harajukukei, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1most non non-non non-heinous.
  • jonxblaze, on 04/04/2008, -1/+68I wish I had 4 hands so I can give this movie 4 thumbs down!
    • leonhyral, on 04/04/2008, -0/+15Another beloved movie about to be dragged through the dirt.
      • tikal2k, on 04/04/2008, -0/+7First Transformers and now this. Please make the bad man stop now.
        • misterdrumz, on 04/04/2008, -0/+3God damn, has all creativity in hollywood dried up or is this a hangvoer from the WGA strike?
    • bitcloud, on 04/04/2008, -1/+2Yeah... keanu plays the only role he was born for and they decide to recast him for a remake??!!
  • take2, on 04/04/2008, -2/+75All I can think of is one word.... "Bogus!"
  • hawksdomain, on 04/04/2008, -0/+22This is just wrong, if they want to remake a classic, go remake something like Casablanca or Gone With the Wind. Performances by the young Keanu Reeves and George Carlin just cannot be surpassed. Plus, I think that we have all moved past the Valley Girl stage of our lives... I hope! ;)
    • bigdsinferno, on 04/04/2008, -0/+8no. please don't attempt to ruin casablanca. the thought of julia stiles or some other hack remaking that movie makes me cringe.
      • robmaunder, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1Yeah - the version with Myra Dinglebat and Peter Beardsley was definitive!
    • warriorscot, on 04/04/2008, -3/+3There is such a thing as a new generation, there are plenty of young people that haven't watched bill and ted.
      • tobias1482, on 04/04/2008, -0/+4Some people don't have tbs or tnt?
      • Elliuotatar, on 04/04/2008, -0/+5Well then they should watch it. It's a great movie and its aged well. So what if the young people in it are from another generation and use different terminology? That didn't stop me from enjoying Stand By Me when I was a kid.
      • toasterweasel, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1Get off my lawn!!!!! Damn kids..
    • bitcloud, on 04/04/2008, -0/+4or how about... I dunno.. they come up with some NEW ***** IDEAS
      • antdude, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1I think the problem is that we ran out of ideas.
        • Cerebral, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1We all know that is NOT the problem. The problem is looking for people/companies who are willing to financially back projects that are not ALREADY money makers.
          The sad thing is that this has already happened in the Video Game industry; and at a fast pace mind you. You would think that with things like lower cost equipment (stuff that looks DECENT anyway) and new distribution mediums(the internet and cheap DVD Burners/DVDs) that more unknown people would be able to get stuff out there.
          It is really a shame that the movie industry is too afraid to put out a movie with unknowns in it with a story that is new and innovative. Do any of you think that Star Wars would ever see the light of day if it were proposed in modern days? Hell no; and if it was they would have put Aston Kutcher as Luke and Jessica Simpson as Leia just to fill the seats for a couple of weeks to make their money back etc.
  • thelastcivilian, on 04/04/2008, -0/+36Keanu's greatest moment.
    • billlyboobs34, on 04/04/2008, -0/+4Whoa!
    • dvsbastard, on 04/04/2008, -0/+23*Keanu's most excellent moment.

      /Fixed
    • bosssmiley, on 04/04/2008, -1/+12Keanu's *only* character. Neo, Constantine, Johnny Mnemonic, Jonathon Harker, Eddie Kasalavich - all variations on a theme of dozy confused slacker Ted Theodore Logan.
      Also: "Hollywood in 'scraping bottom of the barrel' non-shocker"
  • dvsbastard, on 04/04/2008, -0/+37"Bogus... heinous... non-triumphant..."
    • NeoCortex, on 04/04/2008, -0/+4"That was non-non-non-non-non-NON-Heinous! "
    • ZenMojo, on 04/04/2008, -0/+2Keanu and Alex will be totally harshed by those evil remake uses.
  • InRussetShadows, on 04/04/2008, -0/+12If you needed any further proof of Hollywood's innate stupidity, I don't know what to say except that if they don't screw it up the first time, just wait. They'll wreck something you like Eventually.
  • thebriz, on 04/04/2008, -10/+5Did no one else think to correct the first post?
    "Strange things are afoot at the Circle K."
    • victorycig, on 04/04/2008, -1/+13It crossed my mind, but I couldn't find the reply link... Oh wait, there it is!
      • MadHarvey, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1Its going to be like the scene in the Matrix when Neo wakes up in the "real world." 'The briz' is going to curiously wander up to the first post and find the "show replies" link and find out that the simple one dimensional digg universe he has been living in is actually a complex multidimensional universe with several layers of comments. And its going to BLOW HIS MIND.

        You should have at least offered the blue pill...
  • weirdralph, on 04/04/2008, -0/+34Interesting. Hollywood and the Federal government have the same mantra:
    If it ain't broke, fix it 'til it is!
  • jewdiknight, on 04/04/2008, -6/+969
  • SilentRamble42, on 04/04/2008, -0/+25This is why we wanted the writer's strike to end?
    • smacksaw, on 04/04/2008, -0/+5Hell, this happened because the writers weren't there to say "uh, no...no way"
    • badassninja, on 04/04/2008, -1/+1OMG!!! That was funny!
  • busek0, on 04/04/2008, -2/+6Wyld Stallyns FTW!
    • orlandorays, on 04/05/2008, -0/+1They're not being called "Wyld Stallyns" according to this reading. Bogus!
  • rolf, on 04/04/2008, -2/+8Is it even old enough for a remake as opposed to a sequel (with maybe/probably different actors)? Only 19 years old.... it's not like the original is that outdated.
  • allisonaxe, on 04/04/2008, -1/+7DUDE! MOST HEINOUS!
  • Alex2, on 04/04/2008, -6/+1Excellent!
  • Feep, on 04/04/2008, -0/+5This is most uncool.
  • smashingmonkey, on 04/04/2008, -0/+9Evil metal dickweeds!
  • duke1981, on 04/04/2008, -1/+10There is no god.
  • Stryder81, on 04/04/2008, -0/+29- "The script is supposedly full of "hip" pop culture references for today's kids "

    Just reading that part added to my assumption of that this will be a total flop.

    If you won't use the original Bill & Ted, don't even bother.
    • astrotrain, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1I’m hip. I’m with it. Duka duka duka duka"
      -Dr. Evil
  • LeopardGirl420, on 04/04/2008, -1/+7Considering the upcoming remake of Hellraiser, another new PeeWee movie, a Fraggle Rock movie...I'm not suprised.
    • bjornski, on 04/04/2008, -0/+4Ewww, I hadn't heard of those. Is nothing sacred?
    • LeopardGirl420, on 04/04/2008, -0/+6Ohhhh don't miss out next year for:a remake of The Birds, remake of Friday the 13th, Final Destination 4, The Grudge 3, Jeepers Creepers 3, Night at the Museum2, Pink Panther 2, The Ring 3, Sin City 3, Spiderman 4, Stigmata 2, Terminator 4, The Thomas Crown Affair 2, remake of The Tingler, Transporter 3!
      • bjornski, on 04/04/2008, -0/+4Holy drek.....

        Looks like after see I see Speed Racer and Iron Man, I'm done with the theater for quite a while.
        • WaltDismal, on 04/04/2008, -0/+2"The Return of The Greatest Story Ever Told, starring JC and his crazy little band of ragtag rebels who fight back against the evil Romans with explosives and car chases. Also lots of hot girls and rap music. This time, you'll believe a man can come back from the dead, and fly, n stuff. Totally."
      • duniyadnd, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1No Indy 4 for you? True that Ford is a bit too old, but considering they're bringing back original actors and not using CGI for most of the movie, I'll pay tribute to a once upon a time cool character.
        • Elliuotatar, on 04/04/2008, -0/+2Ford's not too old. He may be too old to be the same indy that he was in previous movies, but that doesn't mean he can't play a more mature indy very well. Look at Sean Connery in the last indy movie. He was great.
    • Kelmon, on 04/04/2008, -0/+3Fraggle Rock movie? I'm strangely intrigued despite the fact that I'm going through my 30s...
      • astrotrain, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1Hmm.. considering all the recent Muppet movies were made for TV, Henson is dead, and Disney has all the rights to Henson's company... I think the Fraggle movie is just going to hell in a hand basket.
  • cadmiumpaint, on 04/04/2008, -1/+5LAME. this might become a direct to dvd special.
  • racco, on 04/04/2008, -1/+7this is an outrage!

    I'm so mad it makes me want to download movies illegally!

    wait a second, no. I just won't watch it and go buy the original two movies
  • zyklon, on 04/04/2008, -2/+5If this turns out to be bad, my childhood will officially be ruined.
  • TheWriteGuy, on 04/04/2008, -0/+5Get the Dell guy and the Mac guy for this.
    • bjornski, on 04/04/2008, -1/+2No, Justin Long sucks.

      Tho the Dell guy would be funny.
    • victorh86, on 04/04/2008, -2/+2Dude, I was thinking the same thing!! It's so perfect, Mac and PC team up to create....WYLD STALLYNS!!!
  • iPenis, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1Crap the ice skating ring at Metro mall in Phx, Az (Original filming location) is now a Harkins theater.
  • Hangly, on 04/04/2008, -0/+4I'll watch it if it has George Carlin in it again.
    • jstem1994, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1He bailed on #2, so I wouldn't hold my breathe. Most excellent dude.
    • astrotrain, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1He's doing better movies now with Kevin Smith now.
  • foofightrs777, on 04/04/2008, -0/+2Most heinous, dude.
  • Hangly, on 04/04/2008, -1/+10Dust
    Wind
    Dude
  • DCJoeDogaswell, on 04/04/2008, -0/+19Atomic Gorillas, are you ***** kidding me, you're telling me they couldn't keep this one simple fact straight int he ***** remake, It's Wyld Stallyns and it shall always be that, ***** you I'm mad.
  • drewlew, on 04/04/2008, -0/+7How about another Ernest movie?
    • ZombieSociety, on 04/04/2008, -0/+5Good idea. Except Jim Varney died eight years ago.

      Oh, who am I kidding, THAT wouldn't stop anybody.
      • contradictator, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1They've been using a horrible CGI Ernest to do some commercials lately, I wouldn't be too surprised.

        http://youtube.com/watch?v=npyXpcwhWdQ
      • astrotrain, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1Aww.. don't put it past Hollywood... They will dig him up and have "Weekend At Ernies" if they knew they could make a quick buck from it.
  • Langford, on 04/04/2008, -0/+2Remakes are usually bad, but it doesn't matter because it's still guaranteed to make money. They will keep remaking movies until we learn to stop watching things out of a sense of nostalgia.
  • wautrey, on 04/04/2008, -0/+0References someone? Please? This is just idiotic blogspam with no actual link to any real story or press release.
    • dogbomb, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1[citation needed]
    • FUR10N, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1I saw this on AOTS, and it pretty much had the same information, so I'm guessing its true.
      • Cerebral, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1Right because AOTS has hard hitting journalism and doesn't just read things off of blogs/digg?
  • prth8machine, on 04/04/2008, -6/+2"but, this time... It's a completely unexcellent idea!"

    The other times were a good idea?
  • ronaldmonster, on 04/04/2008, -0/+6Why?
  • illumnat, on 04/04/2008, -0/+2Here in Hollywood, we've decided to completely give up on trying to create new stories altogether. All future movies will simply be remakes or bad sequels to movies from the 80's that either were hits then, or have since sold well on DVD.

    It's not like we don't have talented writers working on screenplays... it's just we now have 30 and 40 something MBA's who think they're flimmakers going "Hey! I liked XYZ in the 80's. Let's make that, I bet it'll sell" rather than actually giving a good new story a chance.
  • victorh86, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1Dude, that's totally bogus. Thanks MGM for ruining my childhood once again. MGM can't possibly be that stupid?
    • WaltDismal, on 04/04/2008, -0/+2MGM's Wizard of Oz 3: Dorothy outs herself, moves to San Francisco, meets a bear and a guy who oils his body and wears overalls and a man into sex with tin objects. Dorothy's ruby slippers get stolen by a jealous lesbian, so she and her friends seek the help of the Wizard, a powerful drug dealer. Music by major hiphop artists. Rated "R" for sex and violence and foul language and too many product placements. Not for kids, so bring your screaming babies and your cell phones.
  • Stonekeeper, on 04/04/2008, -0/+6this is non, non non, non non non, heinous.
  • sikofitt, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1Damnit
  • SigmaDraconis, on 04/04/2008, -0/+7***** you, Hollywood.
    ***** you.
  • ZombieSociety, on 04/04/2008, -0/+2I anxiously await the day when directors, writers, producers, and actors alike realize that remakes are horrible. Every last damn one of them.
    • DCJoeDogaswell, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1They all DO realize this, it's the studios that push this ***** out the door because they KNOW people will go out and see it, if only for a week or two, it's enough to make back the money and then some most of the time. Want remakes to stop, STOP ***** SUPPORTING THEM FINANCIALLY!!!!
    • bosssmiley, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1Honourable exception: Donald Sutherland "Invasion of the Bodysnatchers"
    • YellowSnowDemon, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1Dawn of the Dead remake was good.
    • Cerebral, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1Sorry but the truth is that remakes are fine and actually as good if not better than the original... as long as you have never seen the original.
  • optamystic, on 04/04/2008, -0/+7Last I checked, they weren't making any more Matrix films, and Alex Winter just served me a Big Mac, so why can't they at least use the original cast?
  • maja742, on 04/04/2008, -0/+9I thought they did remake this movie, changed some things, and called it Harold and Kumar go to White Castle
  • Ventolin, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1It's pretty funny if you watch The Matrix and then watch this right after it.
  • badassninja, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1Why can't they stop F-internetedit-king with my childhood. I just picked up that movie a few weeks ago and watched it a few times because it was sooo sooo awesome. They just love wrecking the classics.
  • zeal2k7, on 04/04/2008, -1/+0non..non....NON-NON...NON-HEINOUS!!!
  • GregIsLegend, on 04/04/2008, -0/+2I liked the person who wrote that blog's idea for a sequel a lot.
    • basic0, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1I would actually pay $15 or whatever it is to see THAT movie in a theatre.
  • Grimdotdotdot, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1They can at least recast Winters - that dude doesn't age.
  • Neumann, on 04/04/2008, -0/+0I think it's a horrible idea, especially for the references to the original here and how (remember "Bill and Ted" was in the can for a YEAR before it was ever released).
    I do like the idea of Bill and Ted being used to wreck history instead of saving it and throwing in different historical figures but if we assume they're smart enough to do that then we're as foolish as those people who based their whole excellent water-slide-centric utopia on two dim rockers.
    BUT I think this is one of those flicks that's going to go through the system a couple of times, get rewritten and rewritten, tossed around, and dumped by the replacement heads of studios by that time. In other words, just one of the many, many movies that are talked about and never made just by circumstance.
    • Abomonog, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1I don't know. The original made it on sheer personality. The plot was terrible but the movie was great because the perfect actors for the parts were used. Kind of like Star Trek but with a phone booth. It's cheesy as hell but the cast is perfect so it's a winner. If they can find the right personalities it's not going to matter whether they go through history or just take out the trash. The first time through will be freaking hilarious.
  • yaywowyay, on 04/04/2008, -1/+4***** you, Hollywood.
  • Jeepy, on 04/04/2008, -0/+1With fraggle rock, Bill and Ted's, and Dragonball being remade all Hollywood needs to do is make big budget versions of Darkwing Duck, Ghostbusters 3, Animaniacs and my childhood will officially be raped.
    • orlandorays, on 04/05/2008, -0/+1Ghostbusters 3 is coming. Bend over.
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