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78 Comments
- MacBookForMe, on 09/26/2008, -0/+45I loved this: Discussing Your Crime in a Diner (some nice juicy Italian pasta, red wine Chianti Classico, and having my back covered by rooms corner:)
- inactive, on 09/26/2008, -1/+39North Dakota really is a good place to conduct criminal meetings. Not a damn ***** thing goes on here.
- MacBookForMe, on 09/26/2008, -0/+36the ability of a sociopath is to look the most innocent of all...
- toconnor, on 09/26/2008, -0/+30What about "monologing"?
- ScottMcIntyre, on 09/26/2008, -1/+28They're a dumb lot these movie criminals. You'd think the ones in Heat, Reservoir Dogs, Goodfellas, Casino, and the Panic Room would recognize a sociopath when one was near! Never a good move to let one join your crew ;-)
- divinediva, on 09/26/2008, -1/+27Great list. I love how you took on my sacred, holy "The Departed" a lot too, which I do have to defend a little. Costello knew Costigan from around the neighborhood
- inactive, on 09/26/2008, -0/+23I was surprised to see settlements on that map.
- inactive, on 09/26/2008, -3/+26.....and this is why Inside Man is the best crime movie ever made.
- Houdini91, on 09/26/2008, -0/+20#7 - Blogging when and where you are going to test your newly developed Freeze Ray when both the LAPD and Captain Hammer are among your viewers.
- nascentia, on 09/26/2008, -0/+20They also neglected the fact that in The Departed, DiCaprio actually DOES commit real crimes, and is almost the sociopath. Knocking people's teeth out, smashing glasses on their faces, etc.
- mizike, on 09/26/2008, -0/+19"Working With Far More People Than Necessary....as seen in: Panic Room"
WTF, in Panic Room there were three bad guys: The guy who planned the robbery, the guy who could open the safe, and the guy who was there to deal with any people that might show up unexpectedly. The first two are obviously necessary, so there's at most one unnecessary person. Seems like they put "working with more people than necessary" on there just for Oceans 11,12,13 but didn't want to admit it. - Barryke, on 09/26/2008, -1/+207) Dying.
- seantubridy, on 09/26/2008, -0/+18What about tying up James Bond, explaining your extensive plot to take over the world to him, making him watch as you attempt to execute said plot, and taking your eyes off of him just long enough for him to escape and stop you in the nick of time? And maybe then getting killed by him in a grotesque but humorous and ironic fashion.
- Homerr, on 09/26/2008, -1/+18"If it weren't for these meddling kids I would have gotten away with it!"
- TheFuturist, on 09/26/2008, -1/+17"I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance tomorrow morning ill get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and... walk in and see and uh... if you don't have my money for me, I'll... crack your *****' head wide-open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that I'm comin' out of jail, hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma. And guess what? I'll split your *****' head open again. 'Cause I'm *****' stupid. I don't give a ***** about jail. That's my business. That's what I do."
- inactive, on 09/26/2008, -0/+15How about the "You finally got the guy who was running after you, all you have to do is shoot him and leave, but you kidnap him and talk to him until backup shows up and you die" mistake?
- dse78759, on 09/26/2008, -1/+14No.
- centran, on 09/26/2008, -0/+13#5. Working With a Sociopath
They said Goodfellas was based on a true story; so was Casino! Double Whammy!... and I quote the last line in that section. "Holy *****. Once again, it turns out real life is more retarded than fiction." - dagnabbit, on 09/26/2008, -0/+10Still, most of these are awesome ***** movies.
- pikpikcarrotmon, on 09/26/2008, -0/+10*ahem*
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116282/ - kolyana, on 09/26/2008, -0/+10The HEAT Critique was not deserved - the bank heist gone wrong, turns into a machine gun shoot out was pretty closely based on real world events, so it didn't belong in this little discussion.
Plus it was a freaking kick ass scene. - Jsmuli2, on 09/26/2008, -0/+9I was suprised to see the map even mention the place.
btw there aren't enough maps in the US for people to learn where N. Dakota is. - david4041, on 09/26/2008, -0/+9No. They actually showed DiCaprio in jail. They showed him exercising in his cell and in line talking to another guy (talking about his cousin).
- SpiraetSpera, on 09/26/2008, -2/+11He also did some time in jail to make himself appear to be a real criminal. The jail time is mentioned but not shown in the film.
- Jektal, on 09/26/2008, -0/+9Wow, what is that, 15% of the state population right here?
- saltydawkins, on 09/26/2008, -0/+8The ending MADE that movie!
- centran, on 09/26/2008, -0/+8The thing about Casino is he was hired basically becuase he was a sociopath. He was supposed supposed to "control" the employees doing the skimming for the mob.
However, there is only so much "sociopathing" one can take before you get buried in a corn field. I mean... how many times do you have to tell the man not to kill people, stop robbing jewelry stores, don't sleep with your bosses wife. You can only warn a guy so many times. - souljaboytellem, on 09/26/2008, -1/+9"*****, there's an old lady. I knew we shoulda brought four guys." I laughed my ass off when i read that
- Falldog, on 09/26/2008, -0/+8I must say, Ocean's 11 is a great example of why you shouldn't bring too many people to a heist. Especially since everyone had a specific role and they got away with all the money at the end... wait a second...
I'm not sure the people at Cracked saw half of these movies. - mV0G7, on 09/26/2008, -0/+7Dugg for North Dakota
- paulieslim, on 09/26/2008, -2/+9Shoot the glass.
- Unreal1997, on 09/26/2008, -0/+6Holy *****! Someone else from ND is on Digg???
- t3hmyth, on 09/26/2008, -0/+6It's funny because it's true.
- NeoCortex, on 09/26/2008, -0/+6Hey, if he hadn't done what I told him not to do, I wouldn't have had to kill him.
- Hetman, on 09/26/2008, -1/+6lol number one sounds just like troothers conspiracy theories. Man you got to follow the money. Anyways I wonder if that duechbag film school drop out, got the idea for loose change after watching die hard?
- ElectroStep, on 09/26/2008, -0/+5That movie actually has become one of my favorites recently... Any other good Spike Lee films?
- mojoel, on 09/26/2008, -0/+4Clay. BILL Clay.
- pikpikcarrotmon, on 09/26/2008, -0/+4I think he's talking about that awful CGI rat. The deus ex Marky Mark-a wasn't the problem with Departed.
- ElectroStep, on 09/26/2008, -0/+4Ha, thanks anyway guys.
- boudey, on 09/26/2008, -0/+3You find The Departed "holy," next to Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs?
- diskit, on 09/26/2008, -0/+36 Items on 2 pages?
WTF?!? - InfernoX, on 09/26/2008, -0/+3I meant like the last 20 minutes of the movie.
Costigan dying was the most anti-climatic thing ever. - jeteye, on 09/26/2008, -1/+4Honorable mention: In almost every movie of this type, the bad guy has the super-detective on the ground with a gun pointed directly at his face. Rather than pulling the trigger, getting the f**k out of there, and fleeing to Mexico for a lifetime of hookers and blow, they decide to give some 15 minute monologue about how great they are and how the detective never had a chance. This, of course, ends up being that chance, and the master criminal gets killed/arrested/thrown into some random pit of hot stuff.
- paulieslim, on 09/26/2008, -0/+3(click,click) No bullets. What do you think... I'm ***** stupid, Hans?
- inactive, on 09/26/2008, -0/+3I'm only here for college (GO BISON).
But yeah... what the *****? Someone else is here? - boffy, on 09/26/2008, -0/+2How to be a successful evil overlord. Much the same theme:
http://www.proft.org/tips/evil.html - cesclaveria, on 09/26/2008, -0/+2don't say anything more, I'm still at issue #10 and I love it.
- t3hmyth, on 09/26/2008, -0/+2Especially Heat.
- riptor666, on 09/26/2008, -0/+2This is why the Sopranos was an amazing show, the main boss wasn't a moron and didn't talk about his plans in public places.
- Rudegar, on 09/26/2008, -0/+2movies and games corrupt our criminals somebody sue!
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