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5 Superhero Movie Scenes They'll Never Let You See

cracked.com — It's a tricky business adapting comic books to film. The screenwriter has the unenviable task of cramming decades of backstory into two hours, and difficult decisions have to be made.These cuts, however, are not the difficult ones. Here are five story lines from upcoming comic book films that the studio won't be releasing soon.

Who dugg this? Made popular May 16, 2008

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  • lpmiller, on 05/16/2008, -0/+80that clip of the hulk is about the funniest panel I've ever seen out of a comic book
  • SmooveO, on 05/16/2008, -0/+63Ant-man has officially made me feel inadequate in bed.
  • mentallyinhell, on 05/16/2008, -4/+36They did some sick ***** back in the day. Today, there would be protests and old men fighting on CNN about what is and isn't destroying America's youth.
  • inactive, on 05/16/2008, -1/+29They need to make a Superhero movie FILLED with all the seedy parts of comics they never tell you about.

  • inactive, on 05/16/2008, -1/+20Who doesn't want to see ant man making some lady have an orgasm?
    As an aside, the scene I'd like to see in the new Hulk movie would be the bit from the Ultimates where Captain America stomps the Hulk's face in.
  • inactive, on 05/16/2008, -2/+19Old cartoons are soooooo racist. The crows in Dumbo make me cringe every time.
  • DrCrankenstein, on 05/16/2008, -1/+15"The size of a fire extinguisher." Hilarious.
  • chuckDontSurf, on 05/16/2008, -0/+14Shouldn't most of Alan Moore's stuff be in here? Or am I about to get buried into oblivion for suggesting that "graphic novels" and "comic books" can be lumped together?
  • inactive, on 05/16/2008, -0/+9It sounds all well and good, until you realize that he can't have sex with a woman without killing her.
  • MiamiRox, on 05/16/2008, -3/+12Not just regular raped, MAN raped.
  • inactive, on 05/16/2008, -0/+7I definitely think we could do with a movie that addresses all of the latent lesbian dominatrix ***** going on with Wonder Woman.
  • wild, on 05/16/2008, -0/+7That Hulk comic is crazy. I didn't realize they did a cross-over with the He-Man series. Prince Adam is getting his grayskull on...
  • cesclaveria, on 05/16/2008, -1/+7another scene I think they would not include would be from "irremediable ant-man", where he shrinks and spies girls on the shower.
  • allhere25, on 05/16/2008, -0/+6'If 51 percent of American moviegoers aren't ready for gay marriage, then they're sure as ***** not ready for a love affair that combines homosexuality, bestiality, robophilia as well as a little amputee fetishism for good measure.'

    So true, when will people accept that love can come in many different forms.
  • rmxz, on 05/16/2008, -0/+6Pretty much any of the issues highlighted on superdickery.com could also be on this list.
    http://superdickery.com/propaganda/1.html

    But if they made a movie these days they'd just change it to whatever group it's OK to hate (isn't that what they did with iron man?).
  • Matri, on 05/17/2008, -0/+5What made you think he didn't..?
  • RealmDown, on 05/16/2008, -0/+5I think Reed Richards would win the title.
  • Niightwitch, on 05/16/2008, -0/+4Ben didn't call him "Stretch" for nothing.
  • purelithium, on 05/16/2008, -1/+5Tin Tin is a superhero?
  • ZenMojo, on 05/16/2008, -1/+4Rip your "head" off...crush "steel balls?" Man, Hulk was subtle back in the 80's, wasn't it?
  • edwartica, on 05/16/2008, -0/+3Well, there's got to be SOME reason Sue stayed with such a dork!
  • TheMidnight, on 05/16/2008, -0/+3Galactus would be ***** the black hole at the center of a galaxy, pretending it was a supercluster-sized woman.
  • unwiseone, on 05/17/2008, -0/+3You mean the the character who was a psychopathic pastiche of Captain America named "The Commander", right?

    See: http://www.pinkkryptonite.com/2008/02/lgbt_charact ...
  • indigit4l, on 05/16/2008, -1/+4How about the scene that actually follows the comic books plot?
  • cesclaveria, on 05/16/2008, -0/+3I guess you could make a whole movie about Tony Stark being a dick:

    * erasing peoples memory
    * sending bruce banner to be lost on space
    * signing up spidey to hunt other heroes with him knowing
    * making a clone of thor
    * spying on pretty much everybody
    * have a couple of lunatics almost beat to death spider-man
    ah, forget it, just read civil war.
  • ParanoydAndroid, on 05/17/2008, -0/+2Latent? Not even close to latent.
  • Burrito, on 05/17/2008, -0/+2Watchmen?
  • kingmanic, on 05/16/2008, -0/+2Richards might have length but Galactus has a 'leg' up on girth.
  • nonks, on 05/17/2008, -1/+3cracked never seizes to amaze me.....great article
  • synthoid, on 05/17/2008, -0/+2Monkey rape?

    Where can I sign up?
  • nurall, on 05/16/2008, -1/+2you too. :-(
  • mentallyinhell, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1Maybe just a documentary on it with interviews with the creators.
  • inactive, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1Only if the bitch pisses him off.
  • MacSuxWindozSux, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1Relevant Video:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1d6yJY_7oks
  • thedollabill, on 05/16/2008, -1/+2me too! Grrr.
  • nksoccer13, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1Grant had a run on Doom Patrol from issue 19 to 63. The incident mentioned by crack may or may not have happened in his run.
  • TheMidnight, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1I hear Captain Obvious is hiring a First Mate Redundancy. You should apply.
  • WarMachineWCLH, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1I was thinking of the Invisbles. I can't even attempt to explain half of anything that happened in that book let alone film it.
  • edwartica, on 05/17/2008, -0/+1Yeah, I have the TPBs of World War Hulk on hold at the libaray, but I'm hoping Tony stark gets his ass whipped a good one.
  • WarMachineWCLH, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1Grant Morrison's stuff too. Cause dear god that ***** is weird.
  • Burrito, on 05/17/2008, -0/+1To Belgium.
  • azAZ09, on 05/16/2008, -1/+2"They'll never let your see" , try "probably should not be made movies"
  • remo2012, on 05/16/2008, -1/+1Where is the Aquaman Movie!!!???

    I have to settle for this, Truth.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNdUV1vysAc
  • edwartica, on 05/16/2008, -1/+1MEh. Galacticus is way too big. He would rip the girl apart in an instant.
  • dangodango, on 05/17/2008, -0/+0Ant man is pimpin'
  • acidbathfan, on 05/17/2008, -2/+2Ant-man always keeps his pimp hand strong.
  • inactive, on 05/16/2008, -2/+1They forgot the scene from The Authority where Captain America rapes Apollo.
  • Matri, on 05/17/2008, -2/+2Accepting it and wanting to see it are two totally different boats, buddy...
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