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20 Everyday Items If They Were Designed for Batman

cracked.com — What the objects you use everyday might look like if Wayne Industries designed them.

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  • Fhwqhgads, on 07/17/2008, -7/+53The guitar is awesome!
  • bluepill2, on 07/17/2008, -30/+2You know how I know I'm a geek? Because if number 9 were for sale, I'd probably use it.
    Wait.. maybe geek is not the right word....

    ..
    gtg, damn meds keep hiding from me in the mornings!
  • SurlyDuff, on 07/17/2008, -3/+35Somehow I don't really understand how those high heels would work. Wouldn't they just kick your feet in front of you and make you fall flat on your back?
    • mediaspree, on 07/17/2008, -0/+19It'd probably make the front page of digg if you took a video of it.
    • kevinmotel, on 07/17/2008, -0/+109high heels that when used properly result in the woman on her back with her legs in the air? sold!
    • PsychoDesigns, on 07/17/2008, -2/+4They would, unless you are batman
    • plnegative1, on 07/17/2008, -0/+5why the hell would batman wear high heels
      • twishart, on 07/17/2008, -1/+1Quiet or papa spank!
      • KerriW, on 07/17/2008, -0/+3Ummm... you asked why would batman wear high heels? I'd be asking why would he need a sanitary pad!?
  • upick, on 07/17/2008, -7/+105There are some winners and some losers on this list...
    "Just For Batman" was perfect

    The lawn mower... "FAILED"
    • NRay7882, on 07/17/2008, -0/+3"Batxi Pad" or "Maxipaderang"?
    • ManicA, on 07/17/2008, -3/+10I thought the lawnmower was the best one actually.
    • mnemy, on 07/17/2008, -1/+2Yeah... you got that backwards
    • TheSpore, on 07/17/2008, -0/+4Obviously, upick, you've never been forced to mow lawns with a dull, underpowered, annoying-sounding lawn mower. Believe me, having a really cool lawn mower that was way over-powered and made a satisfying roar whenever you mowed the lawn would really increase the motivation for yard work.
    • stephen967, on 07/17/2008, -0/+2*Batmen
  • RATM4EVER, on 07/17/2008, -4/+189Cracked.com is getting better!
    One page AND they spared us their satirical commentary on each photo.

    Dugg.
    • Mandeponium, on 07/17/2008, -1/+9Well, it was made up of user submissions. No editor touched that article.
      • h4mx0r, on 07/17/2008, -1/+11What's wrong with satirical commentary?
    • bman85, on 07/17/2008, -0/+7I like the satirical commentary.
    • merreborn, on 07/17/2008, -1/+4Yeah, instead, we get half-rate photoshops!

      Just wait til digg discovers something awful and worth1000...
      • elmuerte17, on 07/17/2008, -0/+2good deal less than half-rate. my seven year old cousin could do a better photochop.
  • faceless323, on 07/17/2008, -2/+9The duck and pool stick are awesome
    • Goblin, on 07/17/2008, -0/+1Yeah, I liked the snooker/pool rest as well. It was perfecty executed and so subtle.
    • h37s3m, on 07/18/2008, -0/+1of all the cool inventions, you picked the pool stick.... and the duck
  • Newedge14, on 07/17/2008, -3/+107Why yes I do wipe my ass with Superman - Batman
  • orangefly, on 07/17/2008, -1/+21super man TP.....nice....
  • hadak, on 07/17/2008, -37/+4Wow, those are all *very* lame. 1996 called and wants their "graphic artists" back.
    • caseycoold, on 07/17/2008, -1/+4The 90's came and went. Care to leave the joke there?

      PS I think the pics are cool.
  • ichunxo, on 07/17/2008, -0/+55The Joker looks displeased with his hairdresser.
    • neko, on 07/17/2008, -1/+12Ah so that's what it was! I couldn't identify what was supposed to be the batobject in that one.
    • cusoman, on 07/17/2008, -0/+1Mirror! MIRROR!
  • INDOAZZ, on 07/17/2008, -8/+1What Are YOooooU! I'm Bat Man!
    • HenryLegge, on 07/17/2008, -0/+1No please take into consideration women.

      What are yooooou? I'm Bat (wo)Man
  • sevink, on 07/17/2008, -4/+5that was the best thing I've seen in a very long time. Made my day a lot brighter and ready for the Dark knight tonight
  • Fatherspirit, on 07/17/2008, -4/+1#6 Is The Classic Choice! (I Got Through The 'Security' Gate To Have A Look!) :-)
    • CATSCEO2, on 07/17/2008, -3/+4Capitalizing Every Word In A Sentence Is Cool.
  • scoottie, on 07/17/2008, -9/+2so everything would like look a bat?
    • pileopooh, on 07/17/2008, -0/+4Yes, everything would "like look a bat". Must be too early for you.
  • leif777, on 07/17/2008, -3/+9The TP is perfect... stupid superman... pfft
    • Dino451, on 07/17/2008, -2/+2supes would literally wipe his ass with batman.
      • SilentRamble42, on 07/17/2008, -1/+4Almost every fight they've ever had says differently.
    • jave8u, on 07/17/2008, -0/+2Hey, hey! *You* do not talk about Superman.
  • wing05, on 07/17/2008, -1/+11I guess I'm the only one who thinks this list is more for the Adam West style - Bat-brush, Bat-shark repellant, Bat-everything so long as we stick black ears and wings on it.

    Thank goodness Chris Nolan left that behind.
    • dunnylovehun, on 07/17/2008, -0/+2Some of them yeah, but #1 is sort of specific to the Nolan franchise. Got me excited to watch the batmobile drive through some walls tonight.
  • badjoke, on 07/17/2008, -11/+2Cracked readers have to be the worst photoshop users on the net. I wish more articles of this same concept were pulled from Worth1000.com instead. There's some skill over there.
  • adiyo011, on 07/17/2008, -0/+1#5 would be really useful for when I do go outside...if I ever do.
  • skynow, on 07/17/2008, -1/+7the pool stick was genius
    • Vironex, on 07/17/2008, -1/+1I think that's a bit of an overstatement, but thanks for cheapening the English language.
  • walshgopher, on 07/17/2008, -0/+57#13 the duck got me thinking...Dark Wing Duck (When there's trouble you call D. W.) Dark Wing Duck (let's get Dangerous)
  • freshyill, on 07/17/2008, -1/+29I thought the crayons were more clever than most of them.
  • Harabeck, on 07/17/2008, -11/+48The winner of these contests always sucks.
    • dunnylovehun, on 07/17/2008, -1/+22I don't know, "Most destructive route selected" is pretty great. And as opposed to the others, it's a joke that's specific to the Nolan franchise. Gets my vote.
    • bunker6, on 07/17/2008, -1/+67It may suck, but it nabbed me $50.
    • jon30041, on 07/17/2008, -0/+4Problem for me with it was the location. Shoulda been some street in Chicago... Hell, why not roar through Wrigleyville, tear up that drunk-ass town?
  • Vegabondsx, on 07/17/2008, -1/+5some of these were cool, others were kind of stupid though...
  • Wujian01, on 07/17/2008, -5/+0Batman is every where...
    the best picture is shoes!
  • jmgoody311, on 07/17/2008, -0/+12Does anyone know what #16 is? I can't tell at all.
    • derpoopflinger, on 07/17/2008, -1/+17if you squint just right you can see it, it's a blow dryer
  • TheDeepFriar, on 07/17/2008, -5/+4man I want that iBat!
  • Cougnut415, on 07/17/2008, -0/+5How about a badass batman case mod for a media center PC in your home theater system: http://www.computer-choppers.com/gallery-batmanbeg ...

    Old news, but relevent
  • Nick71, on 07/17/2008, -0/+11How appropriate #2 came in at #2 :-)

    ROTFL
  • bjarkebech, on 07/17/2008, -0/+6Come on, #1 is the best.
  • c4sh, on 07/17/2008, -0/+83Crayola: Dark Knight comes in 64 exciting colors! Including Black, Charcoal, Midnight, Smoke, Gray, Jet, Ebony, Ink, Sable, Soot, Onyx, and many more!
  • RoyMan0, on 07/17/2008, -11/+0buried because cracked isnt somethingawful.
  • Premier, on 07/17/2008, -3/+4Bat Duck owns!
  • jmgoody311, on 07/17/2008, -2/+1hahaha yes! that's hilarious.
  • Black6x, on 07/17/2008, -1/+22Seems like all you need for a front page article is to add the word "batman" to the headline:

    "Batman overrides Bush's Medicare veto"
    • TheSpore, on 07/17/2008, -0/+5If that really happened then I think it would deserve front page status.
  • dagamer34, on 07/17/2008, -0/+5"Most destructive path selected" Lol
  • DopeManFunk, on 07/17/2008, -1/+15Very clutch NSFW warning at the end. Thank you.

    *edit*
    (im serious, the only picture not safe is at the end I suppose, Im still at work so I dont know.)
  • namelessXsilent, on 07/17/2008, -1/+3wow a Bat-pon.. always.. with wings
    • emalen, on 07/17/2008, -0/+29Except that's a pad, not a tampon. When you get a girlfriend, you'll learn these things.
      • Cougnut415, on 07/17/2008, -2/+2Yeah and unfortunately sometimes they ask us to pick them up for them at the store.

        "Oh it's not that big of a deal, stop being such a baby"
  • Pahtcub, on 07/17/2008, -1/+1The Just for Batman box says "Ash Brown" But the stache and go-t are black...needs new box
  • SnDin9, on 07/17/2008, -0/+2LOL at #6...
  • Rekbert, on 07/17/2008, -0/+58The Crayola "Dark Knight" edition pack is actually something that I would've loved to have as a kid as it comes with a gazillion black crayons and every crayola box only came with ONE black crayon, but it's like the most used crayon color ever and is worn down in no time. What the hell am I gonna use to trace the rest of my race car with? Purple? Get ***** real Crayola.
    • Newedge14, on 07/17/2008, -1/+2That is when Crayola wants you to be Creative. Also so you could never produce a quality piece of childish art.
      • Rekbert, on 07/17/2008, -0/+10If creativity is what they want I'll just go ahead and send them a nice drawing of my big brown turd using Raw Sienna and a note asking them to kindly get rid of that ***** color and replace it with an extra black cause we already got a poop brown.
    • djepik, on 07/17/2008, -0/+3Hell Yeah!!
  • GoonPowerX, on 07/17/2008, -0/+9Dugg for the random kid crying over the destroyed playground in #8.
  • stanleyford, on 07/17/2008, -0/+11I know it's a joke, but why would Batman need a bat-Maxi pad?
    • mercaz, on 07/17/2008, -0/+10Batgirl
    • Nezacant, on 07/17/2008, -0/+10Because even batman has to make the dreaded Kotex runs for his "Batwoman".
    • MadCowDzz, on 07/17/2008, -0/+13To avoid leakage.
    • rinote, on 07/17/2008, -0/+3Even Batman wants to stay fresh and clean.
  • hakkola, on 07/17/2008, -1/+6IMO, the iBat should have been the batPod.

    Pretty good though!
    • rplunk2, on 07/17/2008, -0/+4isn't batpod what his motorcycle is called though? i'm no batman expert but maybe that's why the creator didn't do it.
    • hakkola, on 07/17/2008, -0/+1Yeah, it is what is motorcycle is called.
  • kwasmosis, on 07/17/2008, -0/+3If I was Batman I would wipe my ass with Superman toilet paper too.
  • tedrock, on 07/17/2008, -0/+3Dugg for being 1 page.
  • Stegg, on 07/17/2008, -6/+1Is there any way to block submissions from specific URLs like cracked.com? I feel like they should call it "Digg: your resource for the latest cracked.com articles".
  • anchora, on 07/17/2008, -0/+18#14 is the best. "TO THE BAT FRIDGE!"
  • cristinek, on 07/17/2008, -0/+2haha, i like the toilet paper one.
  • Ramenhood, on 07/17/2008, -0/+3#18 with the guitar LOL, it's Michael Bay's movie!
  • helloemptiness, on 07/17/2008, -0/+0The Blow Dryer and the pad gave me a chuckle
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