150 Comments
- Meekus, on 03/25/2008, -1/+37So this morning my 3 yo woke up at 4am and proceeded to drive me nuts for the next few hours. He refused to go back to sleep. And thus was the stressful start to my day. But after reading this story, I want to leave work right now, pick him up from daycare, and spend the rest of the day with him for some major father and son time.
- Matt2k, on 03/25/2008, -1/+34"We think of it as our summer with Gabriel. We took him fishing. We had a family portrait taken. We took him to a baseball game. We picked out his casket. All of those were ways of parenting Gabriel.”
I think I just died inside. - ashred13, on 03/25/2008, -3/+29I think this is one of the most beautiful, yet gut-wrenching stories I have ever read. Before I had my son 3 months ago, I would have thought this was just plain sad. However, now, I can completely empathize. God bless this family and others who are in similar situations.
- FloorModel, on 03/25/2008, -0/+23my heart hurts for them but I also commend them. To lose a child is every parents hell, but they made sure their baby got the love it deserved and they made it's short life a celebration. My heart goes out to them, no parent should feel the pain of losing a child, no matter when in that child's life span they lose him/her.
- phantom_mullet, on 03/25/2008, -0/+18We need a new categorization...TSFW (Too Sad For Work :( )
- Alphi1, on 03/25/2008, -1/+18Sure, but there's a big difference between saying "you're going to die someday", or even "your child is going to die someday", and saying "your child will die within his first year of life".
I'm one of the few that have gone through almost the exact situation as the family in the article - we lost our first-born son in 2002 (at 3 1/2 months of age) due to a similar genetic issue as the child in the article. - cotaskmemalloc, on 03/25/2008, -0/+15This was really, really sad, but it was a worthwhile read.
- inactive, on 03/25/2008, -2/+17All too real, and heartbreaking.
I gotta stop reading this stuff at work. - SkippySkip, on 03/25/2008, -1/+13Last October (2007), we had a baby who was diagnosed with Trisomy 18 back over the summer. The time we had with her was precious, and I would not trade it for anything. We knew that she would die, but we did not want to expedite that, and we let it happen when it was time. Similar to the people in the article, we did not want any treatment for manifestations of her condition.
I broke out crying as I read this article. I loved my daughter, and I am glad that we allowed her to have what life we could. Sometimes things are just not in your control. - BitterCandy, on 03/25/2008, -2/+14I'm an atheist, and I can see that this has nothing to do with Christianity - there are plenty of parents out there who go through with the birth of children who will die just after birth who are not Christian. The reason are complex, and you've clearly not read the article properly. I can understand it - to terminate a late pregnancy without having seen your child - particularly a wanted child - is a heart wrenching decision, and for these families this is a way that they can come to terms with their loss in a far more tangible and profound way. Given the high level of medical intervention in these cases, the babies are not suffering - the parents are.
- abran1984, on 03/25/2008, -5/+16Dugg down because fatherhood is amazing
- crjunk, on 03/25/2008, -1/+12I've lived in an ICU with my child for about year and a half. The kids you see in there are some of the happiest and loving kids that I've ever been around. The child's medical condition is not what is heartbreaking. What is heartbreaking is to see the child who never has a family member come see them because the parents don't want to be inconvenienced by going to the hospital, are in jail because of drugs, don't take the time to visit their son who is about to die, or can't understand why their family won't come be with them on Christmas.
- Dumbledorito, on 03/25/2008, -5/+15Some friends of mine (from a VERY Catholic family) terminated such a pregnancy. Their kid would have been born with club feet, spina bifida, downs, and enough other problems that IF the kid reached the expected age of 3, he would have been hooked up to machines the whole time.
Thankfully, they've been able to have subsequent kids with no problems. - skuzbucket, on 03/25/2008, -1/+10unreal, but very moving
- abran1984, on 03/25/2008, -0/+9As a parent myself I know the love that you have for that unborn child; and I can't imagine not doing exactly what they did. I feel so bad for them; seeing my child in pain is heart-wrenching and they had to go through that for their child's entire (albeit short) life.
- designer, on 03/25/2008, -5/+14My cousin was told that her baby would be mentally retarded and was advised to terminate the pregnancy. She did not and SURPRISE the baby was born absolutely fine. Don't always believe what doctors tell you.
- pjkli, on 03/25/2008, -2/+10It's a really tough decision to watch your wife go through the pain and agony of child bearing to have your little one die a few weeks later. However, I would mutch rather gain some peace knowing that I was the best Father / equal parent of that babies life. I don't think that the baby suffered in anyway. If the doctors think that the baby might be suffering they will put it on meds until either the baby gets better or they pass.
- inactive, on 03/25/2008, -1/+9your username sounds to be rather accurate.
- ghm101, on 03/25/2008, -5/+13You should not have to experience what another experiences to be able to get an understanding of what they are going through.
The ability to empathise, to imagine/understand what someone else feels, is one of the skills that defines humanity and lifts us as a species above the level of animal instinct.
If you can’t do so I suggest you learn.
If you can’t learn, seek treatment, you might have a form of autism. - stukdog, on 03/25/2008, -2/+10I remember when my sister called and told me that her 2 month old was diagnosed with SMA and had only a couple days to live. It was a hard call to take. But our family all rushed out to Sacramento to meet the little guy and those two days were incredibly powerful and loving for all of us. (I wrote down the story and wrote a song about it called Evan's Lullaby if anyone is interested. http://tinyurl.com/2a6mta )
Regarding the article, it'd be a hard decision to make on whether to terminate or continue the pregnancy. I think I'd continue as just a couple hours with your son or daughter would be heart filling. (As a recent father, I know that now more than ever.) - kopas, on 03/25/2008, -0/+7We almost lost our son when he was born. He suffered from Hypoxic-Ischemic Encephalopathy (HIE), which is swelling of the brain due to lack of oxygen. Thankfully the University of Michigan NICU was doing a study on HIE and was able to provide an experimental treatment. A year an half later and our is son is just like any other kid. But during our stay in the NICU I got to experience first-hand many good and bad outcomes for parents and their children. Since then, I have never experienced so much emotion and seen just how caring and supportive people can be. I never want to be in the situation these parents were, but I'm thankful for the care they received. And a race we can be really amazing when we try.
- ApolloXLII, on 03/25/2008, -1/+8i was gonna go to break.com after this to watch some idiots fall on their heads or something... but man... that right there just made me feel horrible and question my ethical values. buried for not being digg-like (providing laughter and insite), killing my buzz, and making my question my beliefs.
/not buried... dont worry... oh god im so sad. D: - idhindsight, on 03/25/2008, -1/+8Man, you're ***** edgy. All your friends in the cafeteria must crack up when you tell your incredibly too-edgy-for-words jokes.
- jdpalite, on 03/25/2008, -0/+7I have relatives who went through something very similar. They found out that their baby basically had a hole in her head that wouldn't close, and as a result only would have less than half of a brain. They expected that she would miscarry, but she didn't, she had a completely normal birth. Their daughter lived for about an hour, which is what they were expecting.
Possibly the worst part is that this was their first pregnancy, but she is in her 40's so she may not have a chance to try again.
When I first heard about their situation I was really surprised that they would choose to see it through, but after it was all over (including the saddest funeral ever), I completely respect their decision. To each their own but this is a very personal choice and it is no one's business to pass judgement. - Grimee, on 03/25/2008, -1/+8I was just thinking the very same thing. We just had our daughter 4 months ago and I realized how much more sympathy I had for this family because of it. It may not make much sense to folks who don't have children. But, when you finally do, you will soon realize how the bond between parent and child is something you never knew would exist in your life. It probably sounds rather corny to some folks. But, the most rewarding thing you can do as a person is become a parent.
- SkippySkip, on 03/25/2008, -1/+8Our child had Trisome 18. She did not appear to suffer while she was being held in her mother's arms. She seemed very at peace. She had a life, we respected it. Call me selfish. I disagree.
My parents were right there, watching me suffer. Should they have aborted me, knowing I'd suffer sometimes in life? - cotaskmemalloc, on 03/25/2008, -1/+7Yeah, I did the same thing. I was bummed for a good part of the afternoon yesterday at work.
- nutzngum, on 03/25/2008, -1/+7not being a parent, I guess I can't totally understand what these people are going through, but as a human being, I can appreciate the strength they possess to be able to love someone they know will only be with them for a short time. Better to have a few moments than nothing at all.
- redfox2600, on 03/25/2008, -1/+7Although that does bring up a good question, would you rather live even for a few minutes and experience the love of your family or would you have never live at all? I'm not questioning what your friends did it must have been the hardest thing for anyone to do.
- b04155, on 03/25/2008, -1/+7I'm sorry.
- NathanielJ, on 03/25/2008, -4/+10The baby doesn't look to be suffering from the pictures of it in the article, nor do I see anywhere that it says "oh, and they baby will suffer while it *is* alive".
Funny how people like you can make things like this into a religion matter when it's about a parent wanting to love their child, and nothing more. Grow up. - b04155, on 03/25/2008, -0/+6My wife and I wanted to know as much as possible as soon as possible about our baby. We had discussions about what do to after being told all the things that could go wrong... a very surreal experience. Awaiting test results I got the call yesterday from my wife and she sounded nervous, for a moment my heart sank as I thought about all the bad things I was told. Turns out she was just very excited that everything came back negative and we're going to have a boy.
- scorpioX, on 03/25/2008, -0/+6Our daughter and first child is due in three months. I can only image the pain and torment this family had to go through. I hope little Robbie is happy wherever he is.
- Charlotte_Web, on 03/25/2008, -6/+12It's the difference between allowing the child to die a dignified death when they are ready to go, vs. being suctioned out of the womb one piece at a time and being robbed of all human dignity.
- faithforever, on 03/25/2008, -0/+5I feel so sorry for the families in this article, and everyone who has gone through this heart wrenching situation.
But I also find it remarkable how much things have changed in the last 30 years. My brother lived for only a few minutes after birth (by c-section) and probably had a heart defect (no prenatal tests). My mom was never able to hold him. The doctor essentially gave up on him and was incredibly insensitive. It's absolutely haunted my mom - not just losing a child, but also never being able to hold him and the baby dying alone.
So it's truly commendable that families now don't have to go through that and are able to make the most of however long they have with their children. - NikoKun, on 03/25/2008, -4/+9No, it's a legitimate medical option, which in some cases is an absolutely necessary procedure, and should never be taken away, as an option, especially to save the mother's life.
Yeah, some people overuse it, rather than focusing on pregnancy prevention... Maybe that should be discouraged... but never outlawed, because there are too many exceptions. - commernie, on 03/25/2008, -2/+7Are you suggesting that having an abortion because a child will be terminally ill is the same as having one because he has brown eyes? If so, you're a dishonest moron.
- Shakermaker, on 03/25/2008, -0/+5Congrats!!
- Haroshia, on 03/25/2008, -1/+6For sale: Baby shoes, never worn
:( - viruz, on 03/25/2008, -4/+9I think I am destined to be buried now?
- Brownds, on 03/25/2008, -1/+6You don't have to be a father to empathize. It's just being human.
- astrnomic, on 03/25/2008, -0/+5Unfortunately the child died after 29 days, there's two pages to the story.
- Nightfall, on 03/25/2008, -5/+10"As Jeanne and her husband, Steve, both Catholics, talked with doctors, they were always clear that they were going to continue the pregnancy. It was against their faith to do otherwise."
I have to commend them in some way. If I found out my son/daughter was going to die shortly after birth, I would probably not want him/her to suffer. Lets face facts here, it can't be pleasant to have these heart and liver abnormalities. I couldn't stand to see a baby suffer like that for months on end.
Should they be commended or condemned? I suppose a lot depends on your view of morals and religion. No matter what course you choose here, you are going to be right to some people and wrong to others. If it was up to me, I would ask for an abortion. I would rather see my child put down quietly instead of suffering and then dying over the course of a few months or a year. - inactive, on 03/25/2008, -0/+4It is really none of your, mine or anyone else's business what decision parents make in these situations. It is a horrible choice, no matter what.
- caitlinwoodward, on 12/04/2008, -0/+4was the child struggling, though?
i didn't get that impression. - commernie, on 03/25/2008, -5/+9No. Life can be painful and not worth living at all. If a child lives for two hours, but those two hours are filled with pain, then it can hardly be described as a "blessing".
- kittybit83, on 03/25/2008, -1/+5so the second you find out your grandfather or mother has a terminal condition and will die within a few months, are you going to walk over and shoot them point blank and kill them? what is the difference between this case and if it was a baby who wasn't born yet? They are both still lives. A baby is alive before it's born. Watch an ultrasound, they are kicking, sucking their thumbs, even hiccuping. All normal living things.
And they didn't have an abortion just to say that they didn't. If you had even read the article, the whole thing is about them loving, caring, and wanting the baby to live and be celebrated while it is still alive, and to have what few moments they would have had. How is that selfish?
And quit pulling religion into all this. I am an atheist as well, abortion isn't against whatever god ppl believe in. It is against humanity as a whole. - cyssero, on 04/18/2009, -0/+4Except daddy might not have any food to put on the table if he just 'screws' these obligations [work] :)
- hokie47, on 03/25/2008, -2/+6With all due respect your cousin was not in this situation.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edwards_syndrome - Shakermaker, on 03/25/2008, -1/+5As a parent whose child was born with cerebral palsy, my heart bleeds for this family. My daughter (whose now 14!) was born not breathing, and had gone through serious fetal distress before finally "coming around". She ended up having some damage to the brain due to a lack of oxygen, and is now confined to a wheelchair, but I count my blessing every single day that she is with us, regardless the amount of care and attention she requires.
I could not imagine what my life would be like after losing a child, but these people handled it in the best way they knew how. What a heartbreaking story, but these are two very strong people that were able to spend their entire life with their child and was there at the very end. -
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