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- mrgriffin, on 10/11/2007, -1/+43It would be easier to name the things that aren't weird in Japan.
- lordtyros, on 10/11/2007, -0/+32I still shed a tear as I remember when they took away candy cigarettes.
- Thomas72, on 10/11/2007, -0/+27Oh, grow up please! There's nothing wrong with kidsbeer.
- Kelgann, on 10/11/2007, -0/+18I could go for a bit of breast milk in cartons here in the states.
- DigitalDesigner, on 10/11/2007, -0/+17those canned coffees are so damn good!
- macaddct1984, on 10/11/2007, -1/+13"We have Mountain Dew or crab juice"
"Ewwww... I'll have the crab juice" - lava, on 10/11/2007, -2/+11yeah, other countries don't have the same puritan attitude that americans have towards beer.
- masamunecyrus, on 10/11/2007, -0/+8Kidsbeer is pretty good, actually. And it's called, "Kodomo no nomimono," which translates to "Children's drink," not "Kidsbeer."
That said, it's popular because it is, essentially, 'Kidsbeer.' - BrainInAJar, on 10/11/2007, -0/+8it's like espresso, but for morons
- ElbridgeGerry, on 10/11/2007, -9/+16It's getting slow, so here's the text:
Japan has a drinking problem... but if you've got a thirst for adventure, it's where you want to be.
In honor (or in horror) of these bizarre beverages seemingly not fit to rinse your septic tank, raise a cracked glass to the Top Ten Bizarre Japanese Soft Drinks, our first ten inductees into the Soft Drink Hell of Fame... Jeers!
Our rundown of the Top Ten Bizarre Japanese Soft Drinks gives a pretty good indication why most of the 1000 or so new soft drinks and beverages launched in Japan every year fail miserably.
Look on the bright side, though: they may not be good to drink, but you can't say they're not good for a laugh.
10) Pepsi Ice Cucumber:
It's lean, green and sounds obscene
When American companies introduce products tailored for foreign tastes, we often experience discomfiting culture shock. Sort of like when Homer Simpson uses his toaster time machine to go back 10 million years, steps on a slug, and then comes back to an oddly different world. Maybe that really did happen, and Springfield is now Tokyo! Exhibit A: Pepsi Ice Cucumber, introduced to the Japanese soft drinks market June 12th and to our Top Ten Bizarre Japanese Soft Drinks listing immediately thereafter. Pepsi? Good... Cucumbers? Great! Cucumber-flavored Pepsi? DOH!!
9) Hot Calpis:
the drink that makes you think - about NOT drinking it
Cue suave voiceover: "Next time you're out on the town with the one you love, treat her to a cup of Hot Calpis"... then trudge home alone after she pours it over your head. Yes, delicious Calpis - I can't even read it without grinning - is known as Calpico in other countries (for obvious reasons) and is one of Japan's most popular and enduring soft drinks . Milk-based with a sweet yogurt taste, Calpis comes in original and a variety of fruit flavors. Some vending machines offer this bizarre beverage hot... steaming hot.
8) Coolpis:
Who wouldn't want to drink something with a name like Coolpis?
Ahh, refreshing Coolpis... THE soft drink to offer guests - before removing their blindfolds. Actually a Korean copy of the disturbingly named Calpis, Coolpis comes in Peach flavor and (stop reading now, if you can...) Kimchee flavor. Kimchee, for those unacquainted, is a traditional Korean dish made from fermented cabbage and LOTS of red pepper. Makes Peach flavored Coolpis almost appealing, doesn't it? Anyone for a Calpis vs. Coolpis taste test? We could call it a pis-ing contest.
7) Mother's Milk:
the breast-tasting drink ever!
And now, for something close to the heart... Mother's Milk. Is there anything in the world more wholesome, more natural, more life-giving than mother's milk? Is there anything in the world that would make you drink it from a store bought carton? NO, on both counts. If I was a baby, maybe, but not from an udder - I mean, another - mother! We shudder to think of the scene inside one of the manufacturer's factories... those poor farmgirls, milkmaids or what have you, shackled up to cold, pitiless machines that never, ever stop... and then I woke up.
6) Black Vinegar Juice Bar:
dispenses acid trips
After chugging down a pint of Mother's Milk, head on down to your local Black Vinegar Juice Bar to give it a good curdling. Black vinegar is noted for its health benefits; the trouble has always been making it drinkable.
Mixing it into bizarre soft drinks with soy milk, blood orange juice or blueberry juice is supposed to solve that problem, but we remain skeptical. At least you can splash some on the salad (via Plastic Bamboo ).
5) Speaking of which, consider Water Salad... for what, we're not sure...
The creative types at Coca-Cola (yes, THAT Coca-Cola) who devised Water Salad are probably still shell-shocked from the New Coke and C2 soft drink fiascos and wouldn't risk another.. or would they? Water Salad is... well... salad-flavored water. You know, the stuff you get after centrifuging your rinsed Romaine in the salad spinner. Funny, we pour it down the drain here; in Japan they can it and put it up for sale in a varied selection of flavors. Not laughing now, are you, smart guy?? (via Trendhunter )
4) Diet Water:
all the taste and none of the calories of regular water. Huh?
And now, from the "selling ice to the Eskimos" department, we bring you Diet Water: the soft drink for the soft headed. "None of that rich, fattening Perrier for me, I'm serious about shedding pounds!" Not to mention shedding money. "Diet Water of the rich and famous"? We're not sure what the appeal of Diet Water is... maybe it has negative calories.
3) Final Fantasy Potion drinks:
for those who think life really IS a game
Got a gamer at your house who lives, breathes and eats role-playing games like Final Fantasy? Now you can add "drinks" to the list, thanks to Final Fantasy Potion drinks. Let's see, at last count the stores were stocking Final Fantasy 13. No way to know if drinking a Final Fantasy Potion soft drink will restore your health, energy level - or make you invulnerable. Kids, don't try this at home! (via Japan Newbie )
2) Canned Coffee = Canned Laughter
Canned coffee has been a staple of those omnipresent Japanese vending machines since the 1964 Tokyo Olympics. Nothing wrong with the coffee itself, which is actually quite good. It's the wacky names (c/o engrish.com ) the manufacturers insist on giving it that elevates Japanese canned coffee to immortality (one brand in particular - read on). There may just be a Top Ten Bizarre Japanese Canned Coffees list coming to this site one day soon. A few "can"-didates:
BM Coffee - Nothing beats a good BM to start the day!
BJ Coffee - I stand corrected.
Deepresso Coffee - Is this the opposite of Expresso, or a coffee designed to bring down Type A personalities?
Black Boss Coffee - Decaffeinated AND desegregated, for the equal opportunity executive suite.
GOD Coffee - What does one serve with GOD Coffee? Communion wafers?
1) Kidsbeer:
the Popeye Cigarettes of children's drinks
We've saved the most bizarre drink for last... Kidsbeer. We kid you not: Kidsbeer. What can be said in defense of Kidsbeer, maybe that it's alcohol-free? That would be like saying Hitler wasn't all bad because he liked dogs. Kidsbeer is so wrong on so many levels it makes my head spin, yet it is so popular in Japan that monthly shipments are approaching 100,000 bottles. As for the ad campaigns, nothing else will make you feel more like you've blundered into Superman's Bizarro world then seeing pre-teens - heck, pre-toddlers - joyfully guzzling their bottles of Kidsbeer.
A little background: Kidsbeer used to be a normal, average soda called Guarana until 2003, when restaurant owner Yuichi Asaba renamed the bubbly brew "Kidsbeer" and watched sales go through the roof. Normally, some sort of government watchdog would step in at this point and read Asaba the riot act, but nope. Encouraged, Asaba farmed out production to the Tomomasu company, who made it less sweet, more frothy - more beer-like, if truth be told - and introduced brown bottles with labels resembling those of early Japanese beers.
Still the government watchdog slept on (or maybe it's drunk and passed out), so naturally other beverage makers scrambled to get a piece of the action. Sangaria took one look at Kidsbeer's skyrocketing sales and decided to go one better: wine and sparkling wine for kids! Their product website is jaw-dropping in its audacity, and nicely done as well. Wanna be like mommy & daddy, kids? Drink Kidsbeer, the Little Prince of Beers!
And that wraps up our list of the Top Ten Bizarre Japanese Soft Drinks, although we've saved up enough dishonorable mentions to form the better part of a follow-up list. Japan sure is a wonderful place, but it's far from home in more ways than just travel time.
Hope you had as much fun reading this list as I did in writing it. If so, please help me spread the word by posting this on deli.cio.us and Stumble?
Barkeep, a frosty Kidsbeer for my friend - in a jelly glass!
Steve Levenstein
Japanese Innovations Writer
InventorSpot.com
@jpn1003
Sorry, I accidentally dugg you down. - Rikushix, on 10/11/2007, -2/+9What happened to Pokari Sweat?
- DNAspark99, on 10/11/2007, -0/+7Actually, I just got back from a trip to Japan earlier this week. The #1 thing I miss is all the strange vending machine beverages. I tried about 15 different oddities, and all but one left me speechless and wanting more. These things are tasty and refreshing, and now that I'm addicted, I've looked around locally and can't find them...so, I've made up my mind...
I'm moving to Japan. - hfactor, on 10/11/2007, -1/+8Why do some people insist on calling espresso "expresso"?
- jpn1003, on 10/11/2007, -1/+7I love hearing about and tasting weird sodas. In Brazil, there is Pepsi "Fire", a cinnamon flavored cola, and in Italy there is a special cappucino flavored pepso. Awesome. The Regional tastes are way different.
- lithiumsystems, on 10/11/2007, -1/+7My favorite soft drink from Japan is Ramune. Check it out... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramune
- HanSolo69, on 10/11/2007, -0/+5what the hell is expresso?
- inactive, on 10/11/2007, -3/+8ラムネが一番美味しい飲み物だぜ！！！
- crazyben, on 10/11/2007, -1/+6I love BlackBoss, they have a really good twang; but Calpis is pretty good too. It tastes like the Special K vitamin water in the US.
- dyreschlock, on 10/11/2007, -0/+4Those coffee drinks are pretty tasty and I generally despise coffee.
My favorite Japanese beverage will always be CC Lemon.. with the Vitamin C of 66 Lemons! - arof, on 10/11/2007, -0/+4@Sephiroth965 (#7252339)
Ebay. Duh. Twenty-thirty bucks a piece though.
edit: http://cgi.ebay.com/Final-Fantasy-XII-12-Potion-Card-Premium-Box-NEW-PS2-US_W0QQitemZ220123224417QQcmdZViewItem?hash=item220123224417
27 bucks shipped. - sephiroth965, on 10/11/2007, -1/+5Does anyone know where i could buy some of that FF12 drink?(on the internet, not in japan smartasses)
- inactive, on 10/11/2007, -0/+4I have never tried getting that marble out of there. Why is it so hard? I think a butane torch should make short work of it if cutting it is so difficult.
Also, why was I dugg down for some Japanese? It's not exactly out of context. - arof, on 10/11/2007, -0/+3I actually imported a FF potion. It's in my fridge.
Tastes like a kludge of herbs and it's cloyingly sweet. Surprisingly good in small sips. I'm trying not to spend the twenty bucks to get another one, especially considering it was a limited-release item in Japan and they're all well past drink-by dates. - protocoI, on 10/11/2007, -0/+3"According to some sources, marble playing in Japan began when children started removing the marbles from the Ramune bottles in order to play marble games shortly after the introduction of the bottles in 1876. Ramune was a popular drink in the Japanese Imperial Navy before World War II and this aided its civilian popularity in Japan."
Have you TRIED getting the marbles out of those things? I tried scissors, pliers, butcher knives and even a lighter today, but I could NOT get that plastic cap off... Maybe 1876 didn't put it on as hard.
Oh, and the anewname's Japanese basically says that "Ramune is the number one tasty drink" (literal translation), if you're curious. - djSyndrome, on 10/11/2007, -1/+4"What happened to Pokari Sweat?"
Pocari Sweat is still for sale. Our local Japanese grocery store carries both the bottled and ready-mix varieties.
And it still tastes like rotten lemons. - unitethenations, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2No pocari sweat?
- protocoI, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2Personally, I didn't digg ya down, I just translated for those who couldn't read what you said (people are scared of things they can't understand, ne?)
And the plastic cap is very hard/thick, and attached very solidly. Maybe a butane torch would work, but I was just trying to casually extract the marble, not make a project out of it, so I was stumped. Though I drank my first bottle yesterday, so I wasn't exactly experienced. - jubilee123, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2They even have a Connection Timed Out themed soft drink!
- skifreak107, on 10/11/2007, -1/+3http://duggmirror.com//health/Top_Ten_Weird_and_Bizarre_Japanese_Soft_Drinks/plain.html
Caught the text and some pictures. - xtraa, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2I am missing SLURM!
- djSyndrome, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2http://www.leadpencil.net/ramune/ shows you how to remove the marble. Definitely not for the clumsy.
- palehorse864, on 10/11/2007, -1/+3The best Japanese drinks available in the states.
Calpis (Calpico) Fermented Milk Drink. Fermented Milk? Don't worry, that means yogurt. It's a soda but has a distinct yogurt flavor. It also comes in carbonated and non-carbonated, both delicious.
Pocari Sweat: Another great name. Drink some sweat... Or... actually drink a sport drink that tastes like a gatorade (What gatorade used to taste like when it was better). It's like gatorade, but isn't overdone with bad flavors (I miss the old gatorade).
Ramune: Mentioned above, this soft-drink comes closest to tasting like Bawls energy drink in the US, though I think it is a bit better. There are also various flavors. Plus, you actually have to figure out how to open the darn thing (Don't throw away the plastic stopper when you tear it off). Take the plastic stopper, push it down and drop the marble into the drink. Now hold your palm on it tightly for a second or two until the fizzing dies down or it might spill over. If only it came in larger bottles.
Other, non-drinkable, japanese snacks.
Anko (Red Bean Paste). Probably the most delicious snacks to come from Japan. Used as a filling in bread buns, tea cookies, etc. It's dark red and very sweet but delicious.
Mochi: Not really that flavorful on its own, this is made from pounded rice and is extremely sticky. Not recommended for children without teeth, or the elderly as there are a few elderly deaths each year during new years from choking. Don't worry, it's perfectly safe for anyone who can actually chew and swallow properly. If you see a snack called "Daifuku", that is mochi with a bit of anko in the middle. It's really delicious, but there is potato starch powder (flavorless) all over it to prevent it from sticking to your fingers or the wrapper so don't eat it over your black shirt or anything and wipe your fingers on a napkin when you're done.
Pocky: This one is even making its way into Wal-mart. Bread sticks coated in chocolate, simple but tasty.
Octopus flavored chips (Also in shrimp as well): These don't actually have any octopus in them (I checked the ingredients) but they do taste like octopus. If you enjoy octopus sushi, or just a good snack, I would pick these up. Shrimp chips are good too.
Ghana Chocolate: Chocolate, but more creamy than your usual chocolate and quite delicious. - esperoboy, on 10/11/2007, -2/+4Coolpis is not Japanese product..... It's Korean.
As for Okosama Beer (kids beer) I don't see what the issue is..... Canadian dry has Ginger Ale and lots of American companies sell Root Beer, those can be drunk by children, no? - protocoI, on 10/11/2007, -1/+3@masamune The bigger pictures say nomimono, but the first ones do say こどもびいる kodomobiiru (kids beer) in hiragana: http://inventorspot.com/files/images/3186.jpg
So they do literally sell it as Kidsbeer. - Clane07226, on 10/11/2007, -0/+2I've had kidsbeer, actually does taste like beer...
- shampoovta, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1Kimchee flavor drink?
uh no. - NinjaJedi, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1Kids Beer can't be any worse that Shandy here in the UK. Shandy is actually HAS alcohol in it (I think it's something like 0.4%), I used to have it when I was a kid and they still sell it!
- htm2112, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1What can you take out of the water to make it diet? I guess it must be distilled water then: no minerals.
- skifreak107, on 10/11/2007, -2/+3It says Coolpis is a Korean product.
- inactive, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1is that a boob on the mothers milk carton?
- lecky71, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1I miss 'postwater' which they saddly stopped making about a decade ago:
http://ww1.tiki.ne.jp/~robby/drink/postwater.JPG - Stano, on 10/11/2007, -1/+2Kidsbeer, I like the concept, maybe this will keep the little bastards from stealing my beer.
- inactive, on 01/13/2008, -0/+1That's great find
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http://car.ej.am - Zer0kill, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1The cucumber Pepsi isn't that bad.
- VeganG, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1I prefer mochi filled with peanut butter instead of red bean paste. There's always too much bean paste for the amount of mochi around it. It's good, but I can only take so much.
- raithetarkon, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1It's completely cultural. This is fairly evident if you know many Asians who were raised here..
- Alfarin, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1What are you talking about, the potion is made of sheer awesomeness and tastes just that! I don't get why people complain about its taste when it tasted so nice >_>
- JorgeGT, on 10/11/2007, -1/+2they say it was called guarana, I remember that was sold here in Spain - and was very good. Also, how is canned coffe bizarre?!
Bizarre is that "mother milk" !!!!!!!! - Mc_Carter, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1pocari sweat is awesome so is c.c. lemon but the final fantasy potions taste like eating a whole tube of neco wafers at once cool but nasty tasting.
- kazuhima, on 10/11/2007, -0/+1Bikkle?
-
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