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The Top Ten Most Ridiculous Diets

divinecaroline.com — People will do almost anything to lose weight. While the most logical, sustainable means of doing so hasn ’t really changed—eat less and exercise—every day it seems there are a host of new and outlandish methods to lose those love handles. Here are a few of my favorites

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  • gnews, on 01/30/2008, -0/+9Lose weight now! Ask me how! - Those badges are ridiculous, but at least Herbal Life didn't make the top ten.
    • SergioValente, on 01/30/2008, -0/+2If Herbal Life were a religion, might it look like Scientology?
      • nospinhere, on 01/30/2008, -0/+2I am on the see food diet. I see it, I eat it!!!

        ummm, I guess that doesn't work on the same level if you have to write it out.
  • ipodwheels, on 01/30/2008, -0/+6I have opted for dieting from dieting. I have never been happier.
    • Tippis, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1Moderation in all things, especially moderation.
  • dannyapplesauce, on 01/30/2008, -8/+16keep it on one page *****
    • iwilldigg, on 01/30/2008, -0/+6he did it on purpose, so that we spend few more calories on clicking next button..
      • Amadeus2490, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1 The movement of your finger burns a completely insignificant amount of calories (000000000453 calories per hour). The real key is the movement of your eyes; the movement of your eyes going back and forth along a paragraph burns 1 calorie an hour. One pound = 3,500 calories. So, assuming you read internet webpages such as Digg for about 4 hours per day, you'll have burned 1,460 calories. Over the course of 4 years you'll have burned off 4,830 calories, or more than one pound of body fat.

        It adds up. . .
  • jquipp, on 01/30/2008, -0/+31Quick fixes never last. Change of lifestyle and moderation is key if you want to lose weight.
    • banmaster, on 01/30/2008, -1/+1Yes they do, just look at Oprah!!
      Oh, wait...
  • rmd34, on 01/30/2008, -0/+3Nothing beats a good workout. Here's a site that shows you how many calories are burned by exercise/sport type (hundreds of different activities to choose from): http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/calories.htm
  • scooterbaga, on 01/30/2008, -0/+15For the longest time I wished for a way to get into shape and have it not suck. I just want to sit and play videogames...

    ... So I bought a recumbent bike and I can do just that. The pounds are freakin' flyin' off. As long as you're playing a good game, you barely notice you're exercising!
  • DeskFlyer, on 01/30/2008, -0/+224 pages? Really?
    • manicallday, on 01/30/2008, -1/+4Here's the list sans the witty explanation:

      Dr. Siegal’s® Cookie Diet™
      The Subway Diet
      The Cereal Diet
      Cabbage Soup Diet
      Slim Fast
      Blood Type Diet
      Russian Air Force Diet
      The Three-Day Diet/Hot Dog Diet
      The Apple Cider Vinegar Diet
      The Writing Diet
      The Atkins Diet
      • stark23x, on 01/30/2008, -0/+2I have lost 65 pounds on a "quarter-Subway" diet. Basically I eat fresh food I cook almost every day, fairly low in fat and watch the calories. I work out four times a week for an hour or more. Two days a week, I stop and get a turkey sub, no cheese, no mayo and a frigging crap-ton of vegetables. Tastes great, feel like fast food, and is pretty reasonable calorie-wise.

        You can't get a meatball with extra cheese, or a steak & cheese with mayo and chipotle dressing every day and expect to lose weight. You gotta make smart choices and set a few reasonable limits.
        • VeganG, on 01/30/2008, -0/+5That's not a diet, that's the way you're supposed to eat every day.
  • janwit, on 01/30/2008, -3/+7What about anorexia and bulimia
    • anniemcgrathy, on 01/30/2008, -1/+3I doubt any of the victims of these illnesses would think of them as a diet
      • hello2usir, on 01/30/2008, -3/+3That's why they fell victim in the first place
    • OrangeTide, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1bulimia works if you don't mind bad teeth.
      • MrMongoose, on 01/30/2008, -0/+0And less importantly, heart failure.
    • BigBoyBoobs, on 01/30/2008, -0/+0Annorexia is phat!
  • Motivaaator, on 01/30/2008, -2/+13Finally The Atkins Diet is getting the bad rap it should. Bad news for Cardiologists.
    • mishmish48, on 01/30/2008, -1/+4there is something not right about only eating bacon and eggs. Can I get a fruit over here?
    • inhaler, on 01/30/2008, -5/+5Back when I was in principles of bio, my profs couldn't stress enough the damage you do to your kidneys by constantly passing proteins through nephrons.
      • InspectorGadget, on 01/30/2008, -0/+6Protein damage to healthy kidneys has been debunked. High-protein diets can worsen existing kidney conditions, but a person literally could not consume enough protein to damage the kidneys.
        "Conclusions: High protein intake was not associated with renal function decline in women with normal renal function. However, high total protein intake, particularly high intake of nondairy animal protein, may accelerate renal function decline in women with mild renal insufficiency."
        http://www.annals.org/cgi/content/abstract/138/6/4 ...
    • skubiszm, on 01/30/2008, -7/+2I can't believe people would still follow the Atkins Diet. Especially after the inventor died of a heart attack at a young age from eating all that crap.
      • Rapax, on 01/30/2008, -0/+6Check your facts, he died at 73 after slipping on ice on his way to work.
    • Goldbricker, on 01/30/2008, -2/+3You guys really have no idea what the Atkins Diet is.
    • xenopii, on 01/30/2008, -0/+4Atkins, and low-carb in general, are perfect for controlling type 2 diabetes. In some cases, diabetics on low-carb diets can avoid insulin/oral meds completely, while still controlling glucose levels. So, yeah, it's awesome to see it get that bad rap.
  • SeekaF, on 01/30/2008, -1/+0I can't believe some of these! Cookie Diet? RU Serious?
    • tendonut, on 01/30/2008, -0/+6RU so lazy that you can't write out two words?
  • CatalunyaBob, on 01/30/2008, -0/+15The Atkins Diet = Horrific Body Odor. Don't ask me how I know.
    • tendonut, on 01/30/2008, -0/+6Dude, when my brother was training for the Mr. Buffalo bodybuilding competition, we wouldn't let him in the house. He had to stay with his girlfriend at her place He smelled THAT bad.

      He ended up winning 1st place in his weight class.....while I sat in front of my computer and played WoW.
  • watersfine, on 01/30/2008, -0/+3I also heard that the macrobiotic diet gives you bad breath. Shocking.
  • crazyallen, on 01/30/2008, -0/+0So all of Hollywood has bad breath, I have never been close enough to notice
  • salmatime, on 01/30/2008, -0/+4Diet = Ridiculous
  • JustinHorne, on 01/30/2008, -1/+28Calories in < Calories out= You'll lose weight.
    • tendonut, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1Lies! It cannot be that simple! I must still be able to eat all my ***** food and just take a pill, then pay a person to weigh me once a week because I am incapable of doing so myself.
      • OrangeTide, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1well you don't have to digest the food you take in. just poop it out. then calories in < calories out.
  • antiorblkflag9, on 01/30/2008, -2/+1Yeah, strong rumours about Atkins that he died of a heart attack, hm...

    http://www.snopes.com/medical/doctor/atkins.asp
  • 0260, on 01/30/2008, -1/+1science has shown that none of the diets work. none.
    • OrangeTide, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1a butter diet would work. if you ate nothing but butter for a month you'd lose weight. you'd have horrid diarrhea and might die after like a week because your body just isn't capable of processing large quantities of pure fat. Also you sort of need other things like vitamins and protein else your body will start consuming itself to keep you alive.
  • SummerJulie, on 01/30/2008, -0/+5Screw this, give me some krispy kremes and shut the eff up about my gut!
  • desmotropic, on 01/30/2008, -1/+5Dugg for finally calling out Jared and his ridiculous Subway Diet. That smug bastard had lipo, of this I'm sure.
  • Pinkerton5, on 01/30/2008, -1/+1Only eat foods that start with vowels.
    I call it the Grif diet.
  • UtopiaTree, on 01/30/2008, -0/+12Donut: I only eat foods that begin with vowels!
    Simmons: That's sounds really hard! What did you have for breakfast?
    Donut: Eggs and Oreos! And for lunch I'm having asparagus... and Oreos!
  • tito13kfm, on 01/30/2008, -2/+3You're telling me this http://digg.com/health/Top_Ten_Most_Ridiculous_Die ... didn't show up on the dupe check page?
  • stringerbell, on 01/30/2008, -5/+3The best diet out there is my 'Warm Semen Diet'. But, it's only available from me - and it only works for young, hot women...
    • GhostyBoy, on 01/30/2008, -0/+8Yeah I tried it on my girlfriend and 9 months later she is fatter than ever.
      • MrBabyMan, on 01/30/2008, -1/+11You're doing it wrong.
      • InspectorGadget, on 01/30/2008, -7/+1She's not getting fat, you just got her pregnant instead of coming in her mouth.
      • tendonut, on 01/30/2008, -1/+9I think you missed her mouth.
        A quick Ctrl+Alt+Coathanger and try again.

        I'm so going to hell
        • GhostyBoy, on 01/30/2008, -0/+6***** that made me laugh really hard.

          But this is no laughing matter. *Honey, come here for a second....*
        • psykiv, on 01/30/2008, -0/+3Ctrl+Alt+Coathanger. ROFLMAO.I That is easily the funniest thing I've read this week. Bravo!
        • MrTea, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1or celebrate the pregnancy in a hot tub with some champagne.
      • psykiv, on 01/30/2008, -2/+1Digg users don't have girlfriends. Buried as inaccurate.
  • silvervp5, on 01/30/2008, -6/+1This already made it to the front page once. staaaaaale.
  • stignordas, on 01/30/2008, -0/+2Cabbage Soup Diet: Popular in Russia, 1922
  • willynilly, on 01/30/2008, -2/+1Yes, it was time for yet another ignorantly titled Digg post.

    You don't need "top" and "most" in the same description. "Top" adds no information to "the 10 most ridiculous diets".
  • centralpoint, on 01/30/2008, -1/+2Beauty is on the inside.
    • tendonut, on 01/30/2008, -0/+4And it is pink.
    • elliotys, on 01/30/2008, -0/+4Yeah, if your fat and disgusting on the outside.
    • queenstarsha, on 01/30/2008, -0/+2yeah, but smokin' hot's on the outside.
  • fartbuttes, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1What if you're already in good shape because you didn't spend your life driving from McDonalds to Wendy's in a golf cart? Do I still need to go on a diet?
    • elliotys, on 01/30/2008, -0/+4Yes. First thing I want you to do is cut down on stupid questions.
  • xGuerrillaRadio, on 01/30/2008, -0/+19Now if only there was some sort of canned cheeseburger diet...
  • mal1964, on 01/30/2008, -0/+2I'm trying the new, Homeless and Unemployed Diet.
    • elliotys, on 01/30/2008, -0/+3I heard that takes lots of booze.
    • queenstarsha, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1actually, there is a "broke" diet. my variation of it in college: one taco bell burrito a day.
      • mal1964, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1Bet you cant wait to graduate and get a job, then you can go to Chipotle and have a
        burrito with a soda! lol.
  • heatmiser, on 01/30/2008, -0/+6This whole article is a bit misleading. ANY diet that creates a daily deficit, either through caloric restriction, increased exercise, or both, will cause fat loss. Depending on a number of factors such as existing lean body mass and training needs, a certain amount of protein is required since the body will steal from muscle tissue for gluconeogenesis, since certain organs absolutely must you glucose. ALL diets that generate a deficit need to have ample daily protein to avoid stripping areas such as the heart from valuable muscle.

    Beyond those basic requirements, the only real issue with diets is keeping the fat off once you are done - If a person resumes crappy eating and an unhealthy lifestyle they will gain the weight back. DUH! People need to realize that once they are finished with an accelerated diet, they MUST transition to something they can continue indefinitely, which will most likely include gaining some weight back since they are no longer generating such a heavy daily deficit and the body will gravitate back towards their previous setpoint.

    Studies have shown that setpoints are like a one-way ratchet - they easily go up but not back down. People who maintain low levels of body fat through diet and exercise will need to continue it forever. Any re-setting of the natural homeostatic setpoint will likely be minimal, if any, even after years of being at a lower body fat level. We can all thank evolution for that.
  • heatmiser, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1EDIT: Should read: "since the body will steal from muscle tissue for gluconeogenesis, since certain organs absolutely must USE glucose"
  • BriteEyesWeirdo, on 01/30/2008, -0/+4Left out Richard Simmons' "Deal-a-Meal"
  • bingobongony, on 01/30/2008, -1/+2Just amazing! Divinecaroline must be the best blog ever! To go from NEVER being on Digg to now getting 00% of their stories on the front page in just THREE DAYS! And in an AMAZING coincidence, almost all hteir early diggs are fro the SAME PEOPLE!
  • south409, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1Did anyone else count 11 diets in this "Top Ten"? Surely they could have either taken one off, changed the title to "Top Eleven", or proof read what they wrote? Journalism at its finest!
  • poorman04, on 01/30/2008, -0/+2Woot! my steak diet isn't ridiculous.
  • Ajajadude, on 01/30/2008, -1/+1Funny. This post is strangely familiar. Go mrbabyman and your seemingly inability to post anything new or original.
  • rmmcclay, on 01/30/2008, -0/+5Most people in Western civilization could live just fine eating half of what they do now.
  • DonJohnTom, on 01/30/2008, -0/+2say what you will but the cookie diet has been working for me
  • mrremy, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1Dug for the HOTT girl with the fistful of fat in the article!
  • Marijuana, on 01/30/2008, -0/+2Russian Air Force Diet seems pretty badass actually. I'm gonna try it.
    • LexMortis, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1Thank god.. I thought I was the only one who thinks it's badass. I might try it aswell.. I'm sure the kilos will fly right off, in a bass way of course.
    • neodorian, on 01/31/2008, -0/+2Yeah. I thought the same. Maybe not badass but it's a good example of just eating a relatively well-rounded batch of low calorie meals. Coffee (black coffee has no calories and spurs metabolism), eggs, tomato, meat, and salad are a nice mix of veggies and a bit of protein for the day. Coffee is good but it's probably more healthy to eat something small to get your metabolism started than to drink caffeine as much as I like coffee.
  • 1legend, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1I'm on a diet when I can sustain it (at home). My breakfast/lunches usually consists of a whole wheat lunch meat (low on calories/fat yet tasty, the kind i buy anyway)/tuna sandwich or eggs. I usually munch on vegetables/fruits during the day and for dinner I eat brown rice with whatever else my parents make. Basically I keep my first two meals to a caloric minimum while being healthy n keeping me full then I enjoy my dinner.

    Basically just stay with whole grains and try not to eat any empty carb foods. Tuna fish, eggs, and deli meat from the store are low on fat and calories and make good lunches. Eat as many vegetables and fruit as you want and just eat a decent sized dinner and you should be fine. Chili (or just beans in general) and turkey are also good healthy foods.
  • Sky75, on 01/30/2008, -3/+2Seriously, are people still so uninformed about the Atkins diet that all can do is come up with "I wanted some oranges while eating packages of bacon, hurrrr." There have been so many studies that have proven the low-carb approach valid and effective that trashing it at this point just makes you look stupid. Fruit is welcome on the Atkins diet as are vegetables. Clearly this idiot never read the book.
    • Goldbricker, on 01/30/2008, -0/+2No they just bought into the ***** that was perpetuated through the media about it. It's actually a very restrictive diet if you adhere to it, but that doesn't sell copy. They'd much rather put forth stories about people eating unlimited cheeseburgers.
  • arsheroica, on 01/30/2008, -1/+6I work at a restaurant, and today I met what must have been the most self-righteous person I've ever known outside of church. She came in to get something to eat and she told me about how she was on a special "Food Separation" diet which meant she wasn't supposed to mix food types, in particular she couldn't mix proteins with starch, among others. She explained it to me very matter-of-factly and with condescension in her voice, saying it was, "the only way to be healthy". So she asked what on the menu was meat-free, dairy-free and gluten-free and complained about how when she goes out she can never find anything to eat except salad. Well no kidding!

    Then she tried to tell me, your humble narrator and busboy, that human beings are not ever supposed to eat meat. What!? I respect vegetarians who choose vegetarianism because of the way we treat our animals, raising and breeding them selectively so they're just big stupid turkey-burgers with legs, but I hate it when some people are so out of touch with the order of nature. Human beings are animals! We eat meat to survive, just like any other omnivorous animal! In and of itself, eating meat is not immoral or bad for us, it's just how everything works. One thing consumes another thing, which is consumed by another thing. It's the circle of life. And it moves us all. From the day we arrive on the planet, and, blinking, step into the sun. There's more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than can ever be done. There's far too much to take in here, more to find than can ever be found. But the sun rolling high, through the sapphire sky, keeps great and small on the endless round. It's the Circle of Life, and it moves us all. Through despair and hope, through faith and love, till we find our place on the path unwinding in the circle; The Circle of Life. Nants ingonyama bagithi baba. Sithi uhhmm ingonyama. Nants ingonyama bagithi baba. Sithi uhhmm ingonyama! Ingonyama! Siyo Nqoba!

    This post just turned into the Lion King, and I am proud.

    P.S. then she ordered tuna salad with her real salad and I was like wtf gtfo.
    • indichik, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1Everything I know about dieting I learned from Elton John and Tim Rice.
  • elliotys, on 01/30/2008, -1/+3My girlfriends on the man meat diet, and I love the results.
    • Goldbricker, on 01/30/2008, -0/+3And every night when she sits down to dinner she says "That's all?!?!?!"
      • elliotys, on 02/01/2008, -0/+1Actually she can never clear her plate.
  • TheMidnight, on 01/30/2008, -2/+2In Soviet Russia, weight loses YOU! (in the Air Force, that is)
  • LastSight, on 01/30/2008, -0/+2"If your really that desperate to lose weight, then why don't you just 'suck' the fat out?" - Cleveland
  • headband, on 01/30/2008, -0/+4I actually know somebody who is on something called the LL Cool J platinum body diet.
  • Robosol, on 01/30/2008, -1/+0Old topic for Digg.
  • Shockt, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1I find my girlfriend's mother's occasional diet pretty ridiculous - the tomato soup diet.
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