What is Digg?160 Comments
- zwendkos, on 10/10/2007, -7/+162Step 1: Turn off the computer...
- Rosamilia, on 10/10/2007, -6/+155Step 2 : take off your robe and wizard hat
- TheRingmaster, on 10/10/2007, -1/+97They were uneasy about informing you of its existence, they're like that
- Turambar, on 10/10/2007, -4/+79Step 3: Booze
- Darkhacker, on 10/10/2007, -9/+75Unfortunately it isn't always that simple. I have Schizoid Personality Disorder (SPD - don't let the word schizoid throw you off, it is not related to Schizophrenia) and although I could fake being outgoing and such I would eventually feel terrible. Not to sound arrogant but I could get any girl I want and even be a jock if I faked it. The problem is that I feel so horrible inside when I do. Even taking tiny steps like they suggested would eventually lead to a line that I would not cross.
I think the most important thing of all though that people forget.... Some of use are HAPPY to be alone! We enjoy it and like it and hate it when others are around to annoy us. That doesn't make us antisocial (I have a few select friends). It's not a matter of being afraid of small talk, I just hate it. Doing it in small steps is like saying you could get used to be stabbed to death if I did it one small cut at a time. It's not something that all of us can get used to. We just don't like it. - KMye, on 10/10/2007, -10/+71***** all of this PC *****; humanity discovered the answer to this millenia ago.
Instant shyness cure: 2-3 alcoholic beverages within 90 minutes. Done. Don't make it any more complicated than it has to be. - Bajeda, on 10/10/2007, -2/+45I had no idea there was such a thing as the Shyness Research Institute.
- merlingen, on 10/10/2007, -5/+47Getting drunk before going to parties worked fine for me.
- manogamez, on 10/10/2007, -1/+39I find it useful to flail wildly whenever an awkward situation arises. This not only eliminates any residual shyness but actually decreases your chances of ever having to talk to another human being again. Hurray!
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -3/+39in russia, multiply quantity by 3, divide time by 2
- DeskFlyer, on 10/10/2007, -2/+37Don't confuse shyness with introversion.
- CaptMonkey, on 10/10/2007, -1/+34I'm generally shy in social situations, but I've found something that helps me out. I just prod myself into saying something short, but leading, like "Hey, I was wondering..." Once I start talking, I think "Well, I've already said that, I'll look like an idiot if I don't say something else." which makes me finish up what I was going to say. Once the other person responds, a lot of the pressure is off and I can carry on a normal conversation.
It turns out, a lot of the time, the person you're talking to is feeling uneasy too and is relieved when you say something to start up the conversation. I think being uncomfortable in social situations is the norm, if you feel at ease all the time, you're either a drunk or a self-important ass. - groonk, on 10/10/2007, -2/+32Step 3: Cut a hole in the box.
- GMorgan, on 10/10/2007, -3/+33Yeah and a lot of people who are considered shy actually just see the pointlessness of small talk. Like I put to a mate, I have enough things I would like to do of some relevance to last a thousand lifetimes. I don't want to waste time talking about worthless things. I won't make small talk with people I've known since I was 2 but I could talk for hours with any girl I've just met about an actually interesting topic.
The reason these people get upset is that mates try to push them to be more mindless without recognising that they really don't want to waste time with mindless chatter. - Mossa, on 10/10/2007, -2/+31Cant help thinking that should be "Step away from the computer" after all you don'^t want to have to restart your torrents!
- dantidote, on 10/10/2007, -0/+26For instance, "if a shy man wants to ask a woman he sees at work out on a date, his first goal might be to have a brief conversation with her about some work-related topic," Cheek said.
yeah has anyone seen that commercial, with that creepy guy at work hanging around the secretary asking for asprin because he pulled his "delts"
Dont be that guy. - loganhid, on 10/10/2007, -6/+29Step 4: Profit
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -1/+19I was given a great piece of advice years ago: Feign confidence. Eventually, you won't have to fake it. I am living proof of the validity to that theory.
Confidence opens up your personality. You'll stop giving a damn what other people think of your opinions (higher self-esteem). Sometimes it hurts me, but most of the time it enhances my life.
Don't change because you can't get laid. Change because it makes your life better overall. - GMorgan, on 10/10/2007, -1/+18You missed the unknown middle step. How can you face the shame.
- EmmSee, on 10/10/2007, -1/+18This is the worst advice ever...
"For instance, "if a shy man wants to ask a woman he sees at work out on a date, his first goal might be to have a brief conversation with her about some work-related topic," Cheek said.
Before doing so, he should practice the conversation with a friend or a counselor"
WTF - inactive, on 10/10/2007, -0/+17"Hi Sara. How are you today?"
- flips through notes...
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."
-flips through notes... - WoollyMittens, on 10/10/2007, -1/+16I was too shy to open the link.
- yargthepirate, on 10/10/2007, -1/+16Not a problem if you don't see anybody when you're not drunk.
I'm not suggesting that you stay in isolation when you're sober, I think you should become an alcoholic. - Codicier, on 10/10/2007, -1/+15It's actually more likely that they're not associating with you.
- DocHoliday22, on 10/10/2007, -3/+17Step 7: Go ask her out. If she rejects you - well you didn't like her anyway. Go To Step 1.
- maffiou, on 10/10/2007, -2/+13Yep, works... The real problem is seing the same people once you're not drunk anymore...
- cnot3, on 10/10/2007, -2/+13If you can't remember it, assume it went well.
- GMorgan, on 10/10/2007, -0/+11You won't be able to maintain it. If you spend any real time in a gym you see the changing faces and recognise that the people who are successful in the gym are people who:
1. Enjoy the training.
2. Want to improve their image solely for themselves.
The ones who always drop out are the ones who say 'Yeah, I want to get laid so thought a bit of muscle couldn't hurt'. People really aren't as motivated to have sex as is generally believed or at least they aren't nearly as motivated towards sex as they are towards helping themselves.
I imagine the same would be true in all fields. Self motivation is vital. External motivation can get you into something but only self motivation will keep you there. - jerbaker, on 10/10/2007, -1/+11Agreed. Some find the conversations about Paris Hilton, K-fed, and who's sleeping with who at the office to be immeasurably boring and vapid. Why even accelerate the eventual heat-death of the Universe by opening your mouth to talk about such inane things? Who wants a to purposefully join in on other people's head games and psychological issues? Many of us "shy" people choose to keep away from superficial social rituals that seem so comforting to others, not because we are afraid, but because it annoys and bores us. "Normal" people are very offended by opinions such as this, and it eventually drives them to conclude that shy people have some sort of disorder. Surely it couldn't be that someone actually finds them boring on the merits, it MUST be a disorder. It is ironic that the very quality that drives "shy" people away from others is the same quality which causes others to view shyness as a thing to be overcome.
- fawkesey, on 10/10/2007, -0/+10That's not shy, that's downright creepy.
- fireflash, on 10/10/2007, -0/+10Yeah this is another "introversion is bad, extroversion is good" type article. Kinda insightful, but overall useless to me. I'm a textbook introvert, and I've made attempts to become more "extroverted", but all I do is stand in the background and observe everyone and listen. Yeah, my favorite female friend constantly refers to me as a "wallflower", but hey, it's me. It's more fun for me to sit in the back and just watch everyone get drunk and do silly things than it is to be the one doing the silly things. And I also get drunk in the process. ;) Alcohol has an amazing ability to open up ones personality a bit more, but it shouldn't be used as the one and only tool to become more "extroverted", as that can lead to other potential problems. You were made this way for a reason, learn to embrace it, and stop fighting it. A very good book I'm reading called "The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World" has been very helpful for me to better understand my own Introverted personality. I recommend it for all you 'innies' out there.
- DangerMouse9, on 10/10/2007, -0/+9@GMorgan
By putting back on his robe and wizard hat. - chrismgtis, on 10/10/2007, -6/+15What a bunch of useless comments.
- Meekus, on 10/10/2007, -4/+13The author of this article is under the misguided impression that being outgoing and extroverted is how everyone should be.
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -0/+9That is fine. Even a psychiatrist will tell you it is fine to be mostly alone if that is how you like it. I think the article is for people who crave social interaction but are afraid of the actual steps to get there.
I agree with jeb that your analogy is a bit extreme ;-) - yargthepirate, on 10/10/2007, -1/+10you need to learn how to hold your liquor...
- banjokelly, on 10/10/2007, -0/+8About as helpful as saying grow a pair of legs to someone without them. Could you grow some emotional intelligence?
- damndj, on 10/10/2007, -0/+8I am shy as hell and I see nothing in this article that is actually helpful. All I see are descriptions of why I suck at the social.
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7When I'm in a relationship--my hand looks very appealing as an alternative.
When I'm single all i can think about is being in a relationship. - aduzik, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7I agree. The hardest part with meeting someone new is getting a conversation started. Once you're rolling, it's not so hard. I kind of like your "push yourself off a cliff" approach to overcoming that initial shyness.
- jamspt, on 10/10/2007, -2/+9So an article written by someone who is shy that wanted to stop being shy - for other people who are shy and want to stop being shy - is too pushy for you?
How is anyone saying that being an introvert is bad?
It's not always about you, chief. - mikeon, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6Small talk never interested me either. It just seems like useless babbling to try and stop the conversation from becoming silent and awkward which is what happens anyways. Apparently I'm also suppose to call up my friends everyday and my family and ask how they are doing and what's going on with their lives and just to say hi. Seems more like a waste of both our times if we're doing something.
- Hayaemsay, on 10/10/2007, -2/+8Step 4: Repeat step 3 as often as required.
- thcobbs, on 10/10/2007, -1/+7Unless the condom breaks... then it could be "financial sinkhole"
- MacBrowser, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6tape?
- joeyjojo402, on 10/10/2007, -3/+9If she slaps or rejects you, don't worry, she'll be dead and disfigured by the time the night is over anyway!
- hambend, on 10/10/2007, -1/+7That would fall under "profit".
- djmadness, on 10/10/2007, -5/+10Jägermeister kicks shynesses' ass!
- RavagesOfTime, on 10/10/2007, -0/+5Welcome to the Internet. We're mostly *****.
- sherkaner, on 10/10/2007, -0/+5My solution: Get a commissioned job in retail sales. It's amazing how quickly you get over the discomfort of talking to new people when your next paycheck depends on it...
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