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146 Comments
- ksgant, on 04/01/2009, -0/+101Usually women laugh at me when I finally get them into bed.
- inactive, on 04/01/2009, -2/+46Girls say things like this and yet they still subconsciously go for the lying manipulative "I'll say anything as long as it gets me in your pants" pricks. Say one thing and do another, its the motto of women.
This reminds me how girls will always say "I like nice, sweet and caring guys" while they're dating a complete douche. - Doktag, on 04/01/2009, -3/+41I laughed her into bed, only to have her laugh me out again. :(
- popzero, on 04/01/2009, -3/+36There's nothing quite like getting a woman to smile and laugh. I love it. Oops, sorry, I'm forgetting to be all cynical on the internet.
- benologist, on 04/01/2009, -1/+28Yes, in an unrelated study it was also found that men can laugh women out of bed too.
- jitterbits, on 04/01/2009, -2/+23Shockingly, there are women on digg, at least 5 of us.
- Virgule, on 04/01/2009, -0/+19I was 12 years old when I figured that one out.
- oscrhrndz, on 04/01/2009, -1/+20April Fools?
- DarthLamp, on 04/01/2009, -4/+23No, the nice guy will never come in and sweep you away from the douche bag.
You won't let him.
You'll stay with that douche bag,
When you fight and yell at each other, you'll still come running back.
When you catch him cheating on you, you'll be outwardly upset, but secretly want him even more.
You'll complain about it to the 'nice' guys and wonder why they have no motivation, while you completely ignore their feelings.
But you'll never admit to doing this, it is your biological impulse to be nice to everyone as a survival mechanism. So you'll sit there and try to give 'nice guys' hope then drop everything and run back to some roided up wad.
You are all just shallow and indecisive in the end. - inactive, on 04/01/2009, -5/+21False.
Chicks always laugh uncontrollably when I show them my penis, yet they never sleep with me. I call BS. - ell0bo, on 04/01/2009, -1/+17I have a tendency to find myself in different moods during different phases of life. Sometimes I'm a complete full of myself prick, other times I'm being the nice, sweet, funny guy. I have learned one thing, when I am a nice guy I like myself a lot more, but I get a lot less girls. When I go through one of my phases where I get pissed off at girls and treat most like hell, I get more. I never understand it, but when I'm in the mood to treat a girl right, I can't even get my foot in the door.
The worst thing for me is when I go in a relationship from treating a girl like hell, to trying to be a good boyfriend. It's a subconscious thing, and I never realize the switch has happened until I've been cheated on. I've been that guy girls have cheated on their bfs with, but that's when I'm a dick. I really just wish I could get a girl, while I'm actually being a nice guy, however... nice guys finish last.
It really though is a shame, I've sat there and listened to girls complain they can't find a nice guy, and when I point out one of my single friends, whom I know would treat them like a queen, they just scoff. No offense, but most women do say one thing and do another. Little white lies to not offend people's feelings was invented by women. Hell, half the time you can't be honest with your girlfriend about how she looks if you ever plan on getting laid again.
I was told females would grow out of it, that eventually they'd want the nice guy. One ones I've met wanting to settle down with the nice guy are the unwed mothers, and to be honest, I'm not out to take care of someone else's child. - Leo55, on 04/01/2009, -1/+15I tried that at the bar...considering i am still online, it failed.
- noumuon, on 04/01/2009, -0/+14...because women aren't interested in intelligence. that's all a ruse. they're merely selfish, and just want to be entertained.
- sweeneyowns, on 04/01/2009, -4/+18I love funny guys, i'd rather go for the dude who can make me laugh my ass off than the pretty boy meat-head with no personality. This being said, there is a fine fine line between genuine funny and irritating "quote movie/dane cook lines" douche bag. I agree with the side article too... face stubble = hot.
- noumuon, on 04/01/2009, -0/+12math jokes do not get you laid. trust me.
- inactive, on 04/01/2009, -1/+13if humor helps get women into bed because it demonstrates intelligence, then why does skipping the humor part and just going for straight to demonstrating intelligence not work for engineers and the like
- bubba9999, on 04/01/2009, -0/+11How's 13 treatin' you?
- inactive, on 04/01/2009, -2/+13There's obviously a reason for him to have an attitude like that. Mine is actually very similar.
Sure you can be different, or maybe you're just claiming to be different, but the sad reality is that most women are truly like that. There's always exceptions, but that's the thing, they're exceptions from the majority. I was pretty well versed in high school gossip, and nine times out of ten I'd hear about or see relationships playing out exactly like DarthLamp said.
Girls who date me are just in between dating pricks. I help a friend of mine cope with that fact that her boyfriend was a *****, get in a relationship with her, then some other ***** shows up a couple months later (or the same one comes back with the "I'm sorry" *****) and she instantly gives me the "Let's go back to being friends" speech. Its hard not to be extremely cynical about this *****. - Spetz, on 04/01/2009, -1/+12You'd think that, but the approach: "Hello, I have a Ph.D. in Electrical Engineering," doesn't work.
Interestingly, women say they like smart guys, but if I said "Would there be any resistance if I asked to take you Ohm?" Would they be smart enough to get it? - Chooxo, on 04/01/2009, -0/+11I'm freakin' paranoid, today. I'm entering my news shelter until this day is over. :)
- inactive, on 04/01/2009, -2/+12Replace cawk with wallet and you've nailed the American Woman Dream.
- ganymede2010, on 04/01/2009, -3/+13"I'm rich Biautch!"
- Kidddrunkadelic, on 04/01/2009, -0/+9Funny looking count?
- sny1120, on 04/01/2009, -0/+9somebody gonna get a hurt real bad
- TronSolo, on 04/01/2009, -0/+9No wonder I have no luck.
- 6shot, on 04/01/2009, -0/+8I'm *****.
- louiebaur, on 04/01/2009, -0/+8Nope that method hasn't worked for me either.
- LonelyTylenoL, on 04/01/2009, -1/+8Yeah, but usually I end up only laughing her to sleep...
- Spuy767, on 04/01/2009, -0/+7Digg needs a "No *****" section for articles like this.
- theotheragentm, on 04/01/2009, -0/+7I think you absolutely have to be smart to be certain types of funny. To be able to assess a social situation and react quickly enough with a witty remark takes intelligence. Perhaps it's less that you are funny but more so that you are able to analyze social situations and interact properly.
You probably won't get any girls in the sack with racist jokes and ending the date with a pull my finger routine. On the off chance you do, marry that girl. - jitterbits, on 04/01/2009, -3/+10Same here. I have a weakness for funny guys and always have. Make me laugh, and I am putty in your hands.
- theghoul, on 04/01/2009, -1/+7This is true. Being funny sometimes trumps 6 pack abs.
- dudio, on 04/01/2009, -1/+7SWF - I'm seeking a guy with a good sense of humour
.. a guy that can make me laugh
.. and a hUge caWk - factsahoy, on 04/01/2009, -0/+6Women always say that about the stubble but rapidly change their tune after their chin is abraded off in a make-out session.
- Calculon, on 04/01/2009, -0/+6That is so funny it might get me laid.
- jitterbits, on 04/01/2009, -2/+8Then let me put it this way:
If a girl prefers an idiotic ***** to a nice guy, you haven't lost anything. There are lots of women that look for humor and intelligence before looks and prickishness. Anyone else isn't worth your time, honestly; I tell female friends the same thing if they insist on hanging around with *****.
However, I can tell you that being bitter and untrusting won't help, even if it's valid.
An interesting thing about those jerks we all love to hate is their inability to see how unappealing they truly are. Since they hide it well, we tend not to notice it for a little while, and they're often so good at masking it, the victim of their idiocy blames herself. It's twisted from both sides, and there aren't really any winners.
Except the douchebags usually.
Rest assured we aren't all evil. Good luck in your endeavours. Maybe try investing in a joke book. ;) - jitterbits, on 04/01/2009, -3/+8And that number is 0.
- jitterbits, on 04/01/2009, -4/+9Are you sure? Because this one worked on me once:
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi!
Then again, I can be sort of a slut. - Velvolver, on 04/01/2009, -4/+9Because women in this society are raised to be foolish girls without any consequence. So they're basically selfish little brats in adult bodies.
Double talk, lying, etc. They think if they had sex with 100 people, dress provocatively, drink around dudes, they aren't at fault. They'll take it 99% of the way but won't make that final move, because in their mind as long as they don't do that they're not a slut.
Bury me - theotheragentm, on 04/01/2009, -0/+5Come on, man. You have to commit to it. If you're going to be the creepy perv on Digg, be the creepy perv on Digg. I will fill in for you. Ladies, since he's kidding feel free to email me instead.
- frankdozier, on 08/10/2009, -1/+6All of this stuff makes sense. Hell, I used to think I was really smart, but it turns out I was just funny. Either way, I got laid a lot. Lol.
I'm married now, and my wife is almost as funny as me. We make each other laugh and we always have each others backs. She is waaaay smarter than me, too, and this is an advantage - ennio, on 04/01/2009, -0/+4@LucFerris - you two are prolly like a pair of ***** eh'? two happy, laughing ***** bunnies. cute.
- diceau, on 04/01/2009, -0/+4Nah women do find funny men more attractive, but it's just because they like to feel good and if a guy can do that ... especially without constant compliments, then they tend to be attracted to him, regardless of whether he's hot or not.
Women are all about their emotions. - jitterbits, on 04/01/2009, -8/+12Yeah, I have actively avoided guys like that and always gone for the funny geeks, but nice try on knowing what all women do and want.
Ever consider that your attitude is what keeps women away? That if they prefer the douchebags to you, maybe it's because you are even douchier?
Just something to consider. - frepnog, on 04/01/2009, -1/+5wut?
- Bovorik, on 04/01/2009, -0/+3The Torygraph is taking over Digg.
- synergye, on 04/01/2009, -0/+3Roger Moore.
- MistrBrownstone, on 04/01/2009, -0/+3Maybe you aren't as funny as you think you are.
- inactive, on 04/01/2009, -2/+5Yes, I'm sure you have all sorts of experience with any number of women.
- EtherGnat, on 04/01/2009, -0/+3Hey, every woman loves good funnylingus.
/Crap, did that article say the jokes actually have to be funny? :( -
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