digg

Join DiggAbout

Discover the best of the web!
Learn more about Digg by taking the tour.

If You're Going to Die, Do It Differently!

socyberty.com — We all shrug off our mortal coil eventually. Whilst we all look forward to a long and happy life - there are some unfortunate souls who leave this world with a touch of humour… if you’re gonna go, go out in style…

Bury
show profanity settings
expand all
  • nethelpers, on 10/10/2007, -7/+33I'm not planning to die ;)
    I want to be frozen alive when I'll be 50 or so.

    "Forever young, I want to be forever young".
    • Gtitian, on 10/10/2007, -1/+13dugg for alphaville
      • yfguitarist, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1Dugg for the Mel Gibson movie "Forever Young" which he was referencing...
    • physphd, on 10/10/2007, -6/+41Bah, Bill Hicks had it right:

      "I have a killer idea. I was watching Terminator 2. I was thinking to myself, you know there's no way they are ever going to top these stunts in a movie again unless they start using terminally ill people as stunt men.

      Nervous laughter. "Well, hear me out. I know to some of you this may seem a little cruel. (whiny voice) 'Ahh Bill, terminally ill stunt people? That's cruel." You know what I think cruel is, leaving your loved ones to die in some sterile hospital room surrounded by strangers. ***** that, put 'em in the movie. Whaaaat? You want your grandmother to die like a little bird in some hospital room? Her skin so thin you can see her last heart beat work it's way down her blue veins . . .

      "Or do you want her to meet Chuck Norris?

      "Hey, how come you dressed my mother up like a mugger?"

      "Shut up and get off the set. Action. Push her towards Chuck."

      "sssssssSSSSSShhhhHHHHCRUNCH!" "Wow, he kicked her head right off her body? Did you see that, did you see my grammy?" She's out of her misery and you've seen the greatest film of all time."
    • iffypop, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3"I promise, I'll never die"
    • mercurysquad, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Haha, right.
      The title is incorrect, it should be: When you're going to die...., not If you're going to die..
  • FameMoney, on 10/10/2007, -21/+2Unfortunately I love life to much, and I don't spend time to plan my death.
    • FreakyD, on 10/10/2007, -0/+36If you had read the stuff you would have realized that none of them planned it either.
  • FreakyD, on 10/10/2007, -1/+107"A naked man running across New York's Brooklyn bridge singing “Oh what a beautiful morning!” was run over by a car and killed."

    He was pretty much asking for it.
    • jeffcon0, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0I don't buy this one for a second. As anyone who has taken the Brooklyn Bridge knows, the pedestrian pathway goes above the vehicle roadway. This list is fake.
  • Stratochief66, on 10/10/2007, -6/+51I'm more interested in unique suicides. Why don't people at least rent a 5 star hotel room, spend their life savings on an expensive car or hooker, take out a few loans -then- kill themselves? Oh how happy I could make myself right before i committed suicide.
    • Ibox, on 10/10/2007, -5/+3Good luck with that.
    • xruntime, on 10/10/2007, -2/+53Because something good before they die would make them want to live life and not commit suicide.
      • CAD420, on 10/10/2007, -1/+11Until the bill came in for all that crap....yeesh...
    • selectodude, on 10/10/2007, -1/+9Because you'd leave all that debt to your kids or family.
      • beardaxe, on 10/10/2007, -1/+23Yes, leaving them lifelong emotional torment is fine. But you'd have to be a real douche to leave them a maxed out credit card
      • drachemorder, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Uh, if you were that worried about them you probably wouldn't be committing suicide in the first place.
    • h4rdcor3, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4pleasure != happiness
    • hfactor, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Because if you´re ready to die you aren't interested in anything the world could give you anymore. Especially not in cars and hookers.
  • Enochyang, on 10/10/2007, -3/+179A fitting conversation from an IRC chatroom. (courtesy of Bash.org)

    evilada: Best suicide plan ever
    mcm310: what is it?
    evilada: you go up to the top of a roof
    evilada: string piano wire tight across the front edge at neck level
    evilada: tie a cord to your foot and the other end to the building so that you'll be above sidewalk level when its fully stretched
    evilada: then you put super glue on your hands
    evilada: and put your arms around the front of the wire and then back to touch your head
    evilada: then you lean forward, so the piano wire cuts your neck but not your elbows
    evilada: when the cord goes taut, you'll be hanging upside down with no head....except your head will be in your outstretched arms thanks to gravity and the glue, staring at someone upside down and spewing blood everywhere.
    evilada: And some poor bastard will be traumatized for LIFE.
    mcm310: i dont think i can be your friend anymore

    original link: http://bash.org/?488793
  • Hood15, on 10/10/2007, -15/+1Who the hell plans their death? Either live life or don't, no need to make a plan for the later of the two.
    • Laohole, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7Try reading the article before posting.
  • bgarrett, on 10/10/2007, -8/+5you dont 'shrug' off this mortal coil, dumbass. the quote is 'shuffle off this mortal coil'.
  • dannyboy3020, on 10/10/2007, -3/+2Hmm, no thanks
  • JoeVerrone, on 10/10/2007, -2/+42"As my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a smile."
    • drachemorder, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3I can only hope the new Batman movie has such a memorable Joker.
  • JasonCox, on 10/10/2007, -3/+3For the last damn time, when I go out I'm taking you with me!
    :-P
  • Kootsi, on 10/10/2007, -6/+2I personally wouldn't want to know when I will die. Just saying. :)
  • wutitang, on 10/10/2007, -1/+34"Spanish Angler, Maria Cista, 56, was trying to free the hook from a fish's mouth when the fish jumped out of her hand and into her mouth. She choked to death as it wriggled down her throat." Not a fan of Deep Throat I see.
  • RikkiTikki, on 10/10/2007, -5/+2So morbid, yet, I kept reading
  • PooPsnooP, on 10/10/2007, -1/+17Like any good article, this one needs some references, because these are just very difficult to believe.
  • catalysis, on 10/10/2007, -0/+45I think several of these are fake. The chess player story was from a satire chain email.

    • Switchnig, on 10/10/2007, -0/+24 i felt like i was reading one of those lame-ass emails my 70 year old dad forwards to me
  • mrgeekguy, on 10/10/2007, -1/+33I'm still going with the room full of whores and a bottle of Viagra.
  • aflaks, on 10/10/2007, -1/+16Gudkov did not die from the electrocution
  • Goodbyeworld, on 10/10/2007, -3/+3those are going out with style? most of those were accidents, so i doubt they could be considered "with flair".
  • cfsporn, on 10/10/2007, -2/+23The new apple iDie. Die different.
  • jimmiss, on 10/10/2007, -1/+9I'm supposed to go skydiving soon. My friends and I have made an agreement that if our shoots don't open we'll aim for a public pool.
    • yournamehere, on 10/10/2007, -0/+15and at that speed you think the water will... help you?
      • Godlesswanderer, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Well, hitting the ground at that speed wouldn't be any safer.
    • iChainsaw, on 10/10/2007, -0/+28no, it will tear them apart on contact with the water. then all the kids playing at the pool will be traumatized for life :D.
  • dext3r, on 10/10/2007, -0/+19I call BS on at least the chess one. I could not find any real-life "Chess Grandmaster Gudkov".
    • TheDragonTony, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Yeah you're probably right the only references I found were from a 1989 issue of Weekly World News (by Googling "Chess Gudkov")
  • jwmcevoy, on 10/10/2007, -21/+5I will, for the honor of my family, commit hara-kiri if this comment is not dugg up to at least plus 10
    • krahzee, on 10/10/2007, -0/+13Waiting..........
    • iChainsaw, on 10/10/2007, -0/+15pics or it didn't happen.
    • Zarokima, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4Need a second?
    • RobotChicken1, on 03/07/2008, -0/+4What the ***** did you expect?
    • jwmcevoy, on 10/10/2007, -4/+3On second thought, screw honor and family
    • crodragn, on 10/10/2007, -2/+1This is Digg's way of telling you that we all secretly hate you. Or not so secretly, as the case may be.
  • fotofunguy, on 10/10/2007, -2/+14Morbid and funny article! I want to die while reading digg and commenting on these type of artic
  • Leo21k, on 10/10/2007, -6/+2screw style, drug overdose is the way I'd go.
    • unearth, on 10/10/2007, -1/+4drug overdoses are not pleasant. and also, it makes everybody think youre an idiot.
  • IEatHamburgers, on 10/10/2007, -0/+16There are many ways to die differently, but only two ways to get your death dugg on Digg:
    1. Get killed by Chuck Norris, Steve Ballmer or Dick Cheney
    2. Unusual Blendtec Blender accident (unplug the blender for bonus diggs!)
  • rotorhead47, on 10/10/2007, -2/+7Death while Getting a Blumpkin from Jenna Jameson (BJ while pooping)
  • V1ncent, on 10/10/2007, -2/+3Which is better, planning YOUR death or someone else's...
    • Cowmin, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4Your own, probably, since planning someone else's can get you arrested.
  • ifm1989, on 10/10/2007, -3/+0Hahaha that's hilarious, wha....*coughcough*...*gag*
  • entropy357, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6Only 3 of the 9 stories mentioned here seem to be real events that can be verified.
  • TheMeatball, on 10/10/2007, -0/+5Those are fake.

    There's no "Chess Grandmaster Gudkov" to be found on Google, and not one story about him being electrocuted except this one.
  • nitrojunky24, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2Its not a question of if your going to die but when and how.
    most of the stories seem like BS and if you were going to BS it why not be a little bit more creative?
  • Mikhail101, on 10/10/2007, -9/+2"If your gonna die... IF YOUR GONNA DIE WITH YOUR BOOTS ON..."

    (don't negative digg if u don't know the song)
    • KanchoBukkakeku, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1Another prophet of disaster
      Who says the ship is lost
      Another prophet of disaster
      Leaving you to count the cost
      Taunting us with visions
      Afflicting us with fear
      Predicting war for millions
      In the hope that one appears

      They might have dugg you down because it turns out there is a country song by the same name *shudders*

      Although more likely it is because heavy metal is not acceptable unless you can mime playing it in guitar hero.
  • elcapitanp, on 10/10/2007, -1/+4Fake. Gudkov story originated on "Weekly World News" and ends with the computer going on trial for murder. Link here: http://catless.ncl.ac.uk/risks/8.75.html#subj7 For those not familiar with Weekly World News, it is the black and white supermarket tabloid with stories such as "Nazi base found on moon."
  • Jalh, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2breaking news : guy died after posted an article in digg.com about how to die....... RIP
  • dragonlor20, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3I didn't realize that dying was an option...
  • JEWestbrookJR, on 10/10/2007, -0/+8My best friend and I don't want to live past 70. So on his 70th birthday we are battling to the death. We figure that one of us will probably forget and the other one will kick in his door and just go ape *****. The only thing that we're afraid of is medical science advancing so much that 70 is the new 30 and we already made this promise.
  • QuickeningYak, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0"When I die I want to leave a crater, not lie in one."
  • bib4tuna, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1im going to eat at arby's when im ready to go
  • fLUx1337, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1If I knew when I was gonna die (and I was old, else I just just wouldn't leave home when I thought it was gonna happen), then I would do something good....

    ***** knows what, nothing like jumping off a building, maybe a 3 day game marathon? Heard that usally kills you....
  • hutectro, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1Did you hear about the man that repairs electric chairs at prisons one day he got a call to go to a prison
    to repair a electric chair after making repairs he need to make sure the repairs would work so he decide to sit in the chair the power was accidentally turned on --------BUZZ--------------- you guessed it the prison now needs a a new repairman.
  • CrankyPants, on 10/10/2007, -1/+4Great suggestions . . . but will I blend?
  • tb421ny, on 10/10/2007, -1/+0I imagine burying my face in a pile of crushed viagra and walking into a Tai brothel
  • SugeKnight, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1In the words of Nathan Explosion (from Dethklok of Metalocalypse fame): Go forth and DIE!!!
  • known, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1donate your organs posthumously http://www.mohanfoundation.org
  • lynx77, on 10/10/2007, -1/+3FTA comments:

    #4 by Chloe, Sep 26, 2007
    It sounds like they took a liberal creative license and embellished a lot.

    #8 by Christian, Sep 26, 2007
    Chloe:

    Why are you trying to divide the church by always using the word "liberal"...?

    #10 by Christian, Sep 26, 2007
    Correction: I meant using "liberal" negatively.

    Jesus was a liberal in case you forgot. You must be one of dem new big city christians that are trying to destroy Jesuses message.

    ===

    WTF?!
  • RC155, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1This is one Real Way to go if you know you have a short time.
    http://ozreport.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=7076&hig ...
  • tanto, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Go travel by yourself to your favorite place alone, before you have to share your time with your family. The great thing about going by yourself is you get to take your dream trip, not someone else’s. And all of your fears about things like solo dining aren’t as big a deal as you think.
    http://orangtuamurid.info/blog/2007/05/11/6-things ...
  • With, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0I always thought that were I to kill myself, I'd set up some rig where I stand between a shotgun and a wall so someone would have to spend a lot of time cleaning it up.
  •  

    Login or register to add a comment

    Create a new account or login to join in the conversation on Digg. You'll also be able to Digg stories to help promote things you like.


© Digg Inc. 2008 — Content posted by Digg users is dedicated to the public domain.
DIGG, DIGG IT, DUGG, DIGG THIS, Digg graphics, logos, designs, page headers, button icons, scripts, and other service names are the trademarks of Digg Inc.