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55 Comments
- Xaevier, on 07/14/2009, -2/+29I was always a fan of the "Just don't tell anyone" approach...Then again I'm not a woman and they seem to have never heard of such a thing.
- satanikus, on 07/14/2009, -0/+25"Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead."
-Benjamin Franklin - lamejoketeller, on 07/13/2009, -2/+25dugg for built to spill
- jeffness, on 07/14/2009, -0/+18buried, blog spam. real article here:
http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2009/07/fauxpas/ - astinus12, on 07/14/2009, -1/+18Let ME summarize: If someone is telling you a secret, they don't want it to be one. Just a thought.
- NeddieSeagoon, on 07/14/2009, -0/+14Whenever I get the urge to say something, I just remind myself that nobody really gives a crap about anything I say, and the urge goes away. Simple.
- PxCxG, on 07/13/2009, -1/+13Let me summarize: shut your darn mouth.
- SamSks, on 07/14/2009, -0/+11They may be looking for help with their secret: drug addiction, drinking problem, gambling, they had an affair and looking for feedback on whether to tell spouse, they committed a crime, etc....
Telling a secret isn't always about gossip. Being a close friend is about being able to share some of your deepest and darkest secrets. It's about trust.
When someone tells someone another's secret, then it's gossip and a violation of trust. - peppermd, on 07/14/2009, -0/+9Dugg for the Built to Spill pic.
- jessemoya, on 07/14/2009, -0/+8Is it me or is that a really empty article with no content?
- Whatasillyhat, on 07/14/2009, -2/+9No.
If you are a scumbag who cheats, it is right that your partner knows that you are a scumbag who has cheated.
They can re-assess your character and decide for themselves if you are worth staying with. Hiding it away from them and acting as if nothing has happened is just that, an act.
It is far more selfish to have cheated in the first place, and to be true to yourself and your partner you should tell them what you have done....or you could just live a lie and attempt to justify your actions by saying you won't do it again. - BasalCellBossk, on 07/14/2009, -0/+7dugg for goons.
and inferiority complex. - PxCxG, on 07/13/2009, -0/+7Easy Champ. Why don't you stop talking for a while...
- Black6x, on 07/14/2009, -1/+6Even in this case, astinus12's point still stands. They don't want it to be a secret. They want help.
- xyu1, on 07/14/2009, -0/+4Stay sober? Shocking.
- jessemoya, on 07/14/2009, -0/+4Now where did I hear that before?
Oh yeah, FOUR COMMENTS AGO. - PanthusDire, on 07/14/2009, -0/+4Confucius man say: Best way to keep secret is not to have one....
- frequentFlyer, on 07/14/2009, -1/+4Said like a true betrayed spouse, and I concur 100%.
- Kyp0, on 07/14/2009, -0/+3THE PLLAAANNN KEEEPS COOMMMMMINNGGGG UP AGAIN!
- howdareyou, on 07/14/2009, -6/+8Another great thing you can keep to yourself is a secret that will hurt the person you are telling. If you've done something wrong - like cheat on said person - keep it to yourself. The only reason you want to tell them is to relieve yourself of guilt, it isn't a noble quality, rather it's a very selfish one. So please if you feel that guilty, stop your bad behavior and never cheat on that person again, or feel free to break up with them.
- Majora26, on 07/14/2009, -0/+2couldn't agree more
- electricwaffles, on 07/14/2009, -0/+2stole my comment, word-for-word!
They're awesome in concert. - GorfTron, on 07/14/2009, -0/+2Keep a secret? Don't tell anyone! Every person has a big fat mouth and will take great enjoyment in ***** you over. Know this in your soul.
- acitodg, on 07/14/2009, -2/+4This is a pretty intereresting article. I usually don't have too much trouble keeping secrets though.
- asturneresquire, on 07/14/2009, -0/+2"...Whatever you do, don't tell anyone..." -QOTSA
- brim4brim, on 07/14/2009, -0/+2Buried because never drinking is something most people won't do so the advice is pointless.
- Maxwell1234, on 07/14/2009, -0/+2Come on!
- brim4brim, on 07/14/2009, -0/+2Even if they want help they want as few people to know they needed help as possible which is why they go to someone they think they can trust.
People don't like the fact that they needed help broadcast throughout their circle of friends or community. - Smokeydabear, on 07/14/2009, -0/+1Or whisper the secret into a knothole of a tree and plug the hole with a piece of sod. I saw that in a very sad movie once.
- lamejoketeller, on 07/14/2009, -0/+1jealous. I can't afford to go to Outside Lands.
- bdbr, on 07/14/2009, -0/+1For the general populace, that's true. A friend might care what you have to say, but most people are so preoccupied with themselves that you can say do or say just about anything and they won't really care (unless it affects them directly).
- astinus12, on 07/14/2009, -0/+1SamSks, I very well see your point. I was thinking about it in terms of the article, not any real-life experiences. Certain 'secrets' are best told when pertaining to the sort of issues you've listed.
- suldar, on 07/14/2009, -0/+1Don't play "Truth or Dare" didn't even make it into this article.
- doug89, on 07/14/2009, -0/+1Rule #4: The best way to keep a secret? Keep it to yourself. Second best? Tell one other person - if you must. There is no third best.
- inactive, on 07/14/2009, -0/+1Kill all witnesses.
- nepidae, on 07/14/2009, -0/+1Staying sober is a terrible way to keep a secret. Because all it will take probably is one drink to slip. The real trick to keeping a secret is to stay drunk all the time.
- astinus12, on 07/14/2009, -1/+2Oh, and Black6x, thanks for getting my back :)
- Whatasillyhat, on 07/14/2009, -0/+1You should talk to the husband about what he did the next chance you get, and find out if he sincerely regrets it or not. If he's flippant about the whole situation and you're certain he would have followed through with his moves, it's ideal to detail to him how awful his actions were and how your friend would have been affected emotionally, to bring it down to Earth for him.
If he's the type of guy that obviously does that a lot, it might be right to tell your friend, but relay the situation with a strong explanation of how awkward it made you feel. - lamejoketeller, on 07/14/2009, -0/+1I like will arnett more now!
Riding around on his segway scooter, listening to BTS, saying "Michael" in a really deep voice. - Whatasillyhat, on 07/14/2009, -0/+1Yeah ughh. I thought frequentFlyer was referring to me because my post read like a bitter and betrayed person.
Anyway, if the situation arose where I had the guilt and burden of cheating on my spouse on my shoulders, relieving that guilt would be the least of my concerns when revealing the truth. Honestly in a relationship is a number one priority. If you feel that the hypothetical pain you would cause to them is of greater concern than living in deceit then that's for you to live with, but I see that as a pathetic excuse to not get in trouble.
Acting high and mighty because you've supposedly "considered their feelings" by not telling them what you done seems like a truly a pitiful cop out. That's just complete *****, you're past the point of considering their feelings the moment you cheat on them. (Although this often circumstantial)
I'd much rather know the truth of a spouse cheating on me to then give me options to follow, rather then living in ignorance with a partner who could be repeating the offence. - marktastic, on 07/14/2009, -0/+1This is what it looks like when someone replies to you.
Re: your earlier comment, think of it not as keeping a secret so that you don't get into trouble, but your own hidden cross to bear. Of course not cheating in the first place would be the best idea. However, howdareyou is right: you are telling your other because you want to get the guilt off your chest. Think of the pain you'd cause your other in the process.
Of course this is assuming you actually care for the person you cheated on. There will always be douchebags that this doesn't apply to. - soulonfire928, on 07/14/2009, -0/+1Honest question here...friend's husband made plenty of moves at me (this is recent) but I kept pushing him off me for like an hour and telling him I wouldn't do what he ultimately wanted (he was wasted). If I didn't have to see her everyday I'd move on. I didn't have the option of just getting up and leaving their house. Do I tell her? I work with her so if she turns this into being my fault, work will probably become hell for both of us.
- MrSkills, on 07/15/2009, -0/+1"A secret is something you tell one other person"
- derek20cali, on 07/15/2009, -0/+1Someone is feeling guilty...
- USER1236, on 07/14/2009, -0/+1Keep it like a secret...
- lamejoketeller, on 07/14/2009, -0/+1you were wroooonnngggg when youuuu saiiiiiid i've made a huge mistaaaake
- soulonfire928, on 07/14/2009, -0/+1Well, I won't see him for a few months at best probably. We didn't even acknowledge each other really in the morning other than when I said bye as I walked out the door.
- Whatasillyhat, on 07/14/2009, -1/+1I've never been cheated on....as far as I know HA! But I know girls who think it's perfectly adequate to carry on as normal.
- jefree, on 07/14/2009, -1/+1Why does "don't keep a love affair secret" get mentioned? Is this a moral commentary or a scientific report. Geez. Stop preaching big brothers.
- MatlasK, on 07/14/2009, -1/+1Funfact: They're Will Arnette's favorite band!
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