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252 Comments
- Sisko41, on 03/29/2009, -3/+379"I was going to get my teeth whitened, but I decided to get a tan instead."
-Mitch Hedberg - Mipit, on 03/29/2009, -6/+315Hear that?
Thats the sound of thousands of glowing white Diggers crying, who thought they had a chance to tan for the first time. - kinseyincanada, on 03/29/2009, -5/+285people are so stupid.
- chuckdraws, on 03/29/2009, -3/+241"I used to do drugs. I still do but I used to too."
-Mitch Hedberg - inactive, on 03/29/2009, -5/+196Ever think of maybe giving people the benefit of the doubt? I wonder how many of those people were just checking it out because they found the advertisement amusing? One million isn't much when we're talking about the internet.
- HMMcKamikaze, on 03/29/2009, -2/+168"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it."
-Mitch Hedberg - anagoge, on 03/29/2009, -2/+131The internet is a series of tanning tubes!
- terracottapai, on 03/29/2009, -3/+127"I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that."
-Mitch Hedberg - Rain12913, on 03/29/2009, -2/+125"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said "No, but I want a regular banana later, so, Yeah.""
-Mitch Hedberg - Methx, on 03/29/2009, -2/+117"My belt holds up my pants and my pants have belt loops that hold up the belt. What the *****’s really going on down there? Who is the real hero?"
-Mitch Hedberg - inactive, on 03/29/2009, -2/+109Thanks...I now have skin cancer.
- kowaletm, on 03/29/2009, -1/+90An escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
-Mitch Hedberg - fabriciom, on 03/29/2009, -3/+79Title should read "Another Million Morons Found on The Internet Today"
- kidwithsword, on 03/29/2009, -2/+76It's awesome how they have the "O1, O2, O3" chart they say they combine to make "UVC rays." O2 is oxygen, O3 is ozone, and O1 doesn't even exist as a molecular formula.
- Erik1421, on 03/29/2009, -4/+77The whole thing is perfectly planned. Kudos to the creators of computertan.com
- Wilddigi, on 03/29/2009, -2/+69It works
- Methx, on 03/29/2009, -0/+59I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2,000 of something.*
- needslipo, on 03/29/2009, -1/+60"Dogs are forever in the push up positon."
-Mitch Hedberg - DarkoKun, on 03/29/2009, -2/+59I was told to move because I was blocking the fire exit ... as if I wouldn't run if there was a fire ... anything flamable and has legs can't ever block a fire exit.
-Mitch Hedberg - herrshuster, on 03/29/2009, -0/+50freckly-ass cheeks or freckly ass-cheeks? must clarify.
- inactive, on 03/29/2009, -4/+52That site was a hoax, how come I tanned then?
- Tddupre, on 03/29/2009, -0/+48http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=200609 ...
- Misterberu, on 03/29/2009, -1/+45Shall I take off my robe and wizard hat then?
- JasonCox, on 03/29/2009, -2/+431) Create website promising to tan you via your computer screen
2) Convince girls it's just like sunbathing, just without the pesky neighbor kids staring over the fence
3) Deploy a new "feature" that uses the user's webcam to inform them when their 'tanning session' is complete
4) ...
5) Boobies! - leif77, on 03/30/2009, -0/+38"I'm lactose intolerant, so I eat my cereal with a fork."
- inactive, on 03/29/2009, -0/+38You're a towel.
- transitive, on 03/29/2009, -2/+39he's uh, tragically, in a state of organic decomposition and thus no longer a good source of new laughter inducing materials.
we miss you Mitch. - inactive, on 03/29/2009, -0/+36You're on a laptop in Daytona Beach?
- Zyvo, on 03/30/2009, -0/+35"Unless you are a table"
-Mitch Hedberg - chuckdraws, on 03/29/2009, -2/+35She's orange.
- alexhouse, on 03/29/2009, -0/+304Tan.
- str1fe, on 03/29/2009, -1/+30Why have I never heard of this Mitch Hedberg fellow before? I might have found a new favorite comic. Thank you, Digg, for enlightening me.
- eon42, on 03/29/2009, -0/+29WTF? there's even a iphone app??
http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/ ... - waspbr, on 03/29/2009, -28/+56............................................________
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..................................., - LonelyTylenoL, on 03/29/2009, -2/+30What an interesting reflection of the intelligence of our society...
- joot2112, on 03/30/2009, -0/+27"I tried to walk into Target, but I missed."
- maximilen, on 03/29/2009, -0/+27Cougar?
- inactive, on 03/29/2009, -2/+27This was a site targeted at Brits soo...lolwut?
- thebeginning, on 03/29/2009, -20/+44She's cute.
- DforSpiD, on 03/30/2009, -0/+23"I think Pringles original intention was to make tennis balls... but on the day the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truck load of potatoes arrived"
-Mitch Hedberg - BrewBeau, on 03/29/2009, -0/+22Totally. And when I see people walking around with their natural hair showing, not even a modest powdered wig, I'm thinking "what slum did that person just crawl out of?"
- zerohelix, on 03/29/2009, -1/+21hm,it looks like computertan.com is down. Damn you Digg!
- akchrs, on 03/29/2009, -4/+23I wish I would have thought of that.
- inactive, on 03/30/2009, -1/+20Your parents have been lying to you. You are actually black, and were adopted.
- HerbSolo, on 03/29/2009, -1/+19O is Oxygen - O2 is molecular Oxygen, O1 - is a radical.
- Butters757, on 03/29/2009, -1/+18BUT IT'S TAN-TASTIC
- JacksonYaya, on 03/29/2009, -0/+17You're a cute, orange towel.
- Signa91, on 03/30/2009, -1/+18When you go to a restaurant on the weekends and it's busy they start a waiting list. They start calling out names, they say "Dufresne, party of two. Dufresne, party of two." And if no one answers they'll say their name again. "Dufresne, party of two, Dufresne, party of two." But then if no one answers they'll just go right on to the next name. "Bush, party of three." Yeah, what happened to the Dufresnes? No one seems to give a *****. Who can eat at a time like this? People are missing! You ***** are selfish. The Dufresnes are in someone's trunk right now, with duct tape over their mouths. And they're hungry. That's a double whammy. Bush, search party of three, you can eat when you find the Dufresnes.
- Garr3tJax, on 03/29/2009, -2/+18i just got burned :(
- nomadxx7, on 03/29/2009, -0/+15Case in point:
77boy84 is here so thus the quota for idiots and sheep is now full.
Honestly, how about you take the saying "there is a sucker born every minute" and multiply it by say 100 to convey the truth that the internet in general has a lot of stupid people. -
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