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111 Comments
- govsucks, on 07/08/2009, -16/+87Hello Citizens!
Here are your new mandatory federal health guidelines. Citizens caught failing to follow the system will be fined or imprisoned.
The following items are PROHIBITED (federal health advisory board p-01d10)
No Smoking (tobacco, majiuana or any other inhaled burned substance)
No Drinking Alcohol of any kind
No sugar of any kind. (causes obesity and tooth decay)
No hot spices of any kind. (causes ulcers)
The following items are allowed on a limited basis. (federal health advisory board l-08d15)
Red Meat is allowed 1 time per week.
Juice is limited to 1 liter per week (causes tooth decay) You may supplement federal vitamin pack VC2 for Vitamin C
1% Milk is limited to liter per week
Calories and Salt are strictly limited (federal health advisory board i-01s22)
Daily totals for adults
2000 mg salt per day
2000 calories per day
Exercise is mandatory for all citizens (federal health advisory board e-27d19)
You must complete 20 pushups per day
You must walk or run 1 mile per day
You must complete 15 leg lifts per day
All "extreme" sports are prohibited. (federal health advisory board e-30d04)
You may pick up pads and protection for basketball, baseball and soccer at the public sports center.
Wearing protection for allowed sports is mandatory. (federal health advisory board c-19c7)
Sleep is required for good health. All citizens must sleep at least 8 hours per day. Electricity will be terminated in each citizens home for 8 hours each day. This reduces carbon emissions and gives the citizen the proper hours of sleep time. Please schedual your termination times with the Federal Energy Administration M-F 11am-3pm Closed lunch 12-1pm
We hope you have a healthy day.
To report a violation, call the federal health crimes and jackbooted thugs administration. If you turn in an official violation you could be rewarded with top prizes including a T-Bone steak! - overtoke, on 07/09/2009, -5/+27i'm pretty sure this is just a big trick for the sake of big tobacco.
1. we can't sue them (because its FDA approved)
2. drive all smaller competing tobacco companies out of business
3. big tobacco will probably get a cut of the new taxes - z0rk, on 07/08/2009, -4/+25Wish i could digg this more than once.
- jmferris, on 07/09/2009, -1/+22Healthy eating is not expensive. You have three examples listed right off the bat:
1. Don't eat macaroni and cheese. Ever hear of rice? It is a staple food in dozens of countries and it is inexpensive.
2. Water. I turn on the facets, and the stuff just runs out of it! Incredible.
3. How about neither? Meat is not required with every meal. Chicken is better for you, and considerably less expensive than beef.
I came from a very poor upbringing and have never understood people with the whole "you don't know what it is like to be poor" *****. Yes, it is tough, but that doesn't mean you need to live on ramen and other ***** like that. - rotundo, on 07/09/2009, -5/+23I'm not a smoker and never have been, but this war on smoking is ridiculous. Yeah, smoking is unhealthy. So is about 1000 other things that most of us do every day and I don't want the government regulating any of it. It is my life to do as I please and your life to do as you please. Stop trying to make the world a perfect place -- more damage has been done under such efforts than was ever caused by the original problems themselves.
If they have to charge smokers a realistic amount more for health insurance, fine. That is part of the choice they are making. But for god's sake let them make the choice.
And meanwhile I'll get less than the optimal amount of exercise and eat too much fat and I'll enjoy my all-too-short life like everyone else. - mogebier, on 07/09/2009, -10/+27Since it's so bad for you, just BAN TOBACCO.
Done.
Oh wait.... what would the Government do without all that tax money??
The Govt. doesn't give a rats ass what we do to kill ourselves, as long as they get our money. - EverybodyPanic, on 07/09/2009, -3/+17Drinking alcohol while driving is more dangerous than smoking tobacco. I put what I want in my body. Regulating the use of tobacco is unconstitutional.
- halfwayentropy, on 07/09/2009, -1/+14Why doesn't the gov't stop wasting time with such trivial matters and get to auditing the Fed?
- rotundo, on 07/09/2009, -3/+14Here's the #1 reason to smoke: because you enjoy it and it doesn't hurt anyone else.
There need be no other reason. Any restrictions on such a thing is lousy.
No, I don't smoke. I just have a clear idea of what liberty is. - rotundo, on 07/09/2009, -4/+14Excuse me -- who is the drama queen here? The people who are actually having an aspect of their life changed by regulation or people like you who won't be affected by this at all yet still see fit to push their opinion?
I am not a smoker. Never have been and never will be. Yet I think it is _absurd_ that the government would get involved in restricting tobacco. I am 100% sure I can find things that you do that are harmful to your health but make your day to day life more enjoyable. I am also sure you would not want the government restricting such things.
Stop thinking about how _you_ want things for other people. - pcflea, on 07/09/2009, -10/+19There is absolutely no reason to ever start smoking, and countless reasons to quit.
Nuff said. - chieffan, on 07/09/2009, -1/+10If there was nothing in it for the government with big tobacco, roll your own wouldn't have jumped so high with the latest tax increase. It went from a couple bucks a pound to over $15/lb.
- motivatedguy, on 07/09/2009, -5/+14Do you guys hear that? It's the sound of our government growing bigger and bigger everyday...
- SirBruce, on 07/09/2009, -1/+9Hot spices do not cause ulcers. Ulcers are now known to be caused by bacteria. Other than that your vision of the future is entirely plausible (and some might even say reasonable).
- protoopus, on 07/09/2009, -5/+13"...what would the Government do without all that tax money??"
borrow it from our grandchildren? - sanibelsnook, on 07/09/2009, -1/+9thank you BIG government...what would we ever do without you
/s - inactive, on 07/09/2009, -8/+16"My final point about alcohol, about drugs, about Pornography...What business is it of your's what I do, read, buy, see or take into my body as long as I don't harm another human being whilst on this planet? And for those of you having a little moral dilemna on how to answer this, I'll answer for you. NONE OF YOUR ***** BUSINESS Take that to the bank, cash it and take it on a vacation outta my ***** life. And stop bringing shotguns to UFO sightings, they might be here to pick me up and take me with 'em"
-Bill Hicks - buddyfarr, on 07/09/2009, -1/+9already done.
- inactive, on 07/09/2009, -4/+11Epic comment is epic.
- ScrewedThePooch, on 07/09/2009, -0/+7I agree with most of you that smoking should be allowed, as it is your own body. What the government is proposing, is that the tobacco companies not be allowed to add freebase nicotine (to increase addiction) or formaldehyde (for flavor). These things, we can really do without.
- mxmj, on 07/09/2009, -1/+7Article the twelfth [Amendment X]
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people. - 1x253, on 07/09/2009, -1/+7This is a very bad precedent.
- inactive, on 07/09/2009, -4/+10oh noes, something is slightly harming you and the government and dauntiess1 want to take your freedom of choice away, you must be a baby
protip: some people value things more than health - INTERNETMASTER, on 07/09/2009, -5/+11I quit smoking two years ago. best decision I ever made. but if I was really smart, I never would have started in the first place.
- lisaawesome, on 07/09/2009, -0/+5Dude if you wanna talk about poor I was raised in a family of 5 off of 25,000 a year and we did not get food stamps and we still managed to eat decently. My sisters and I were healthy then and are healthy adults now so I think it can in fact be done. Plenty of kids just drink water too. They can cry about it all they want but until they get a job and buy their own soda and crap they can deal with it.
- Bubble666, on 07/09/2009, -1/+6I'd eat chicken rice n water daily. Beside chicken is loaded with proteins, and the minerals are found in all the above, if you kids only want the Kool-aid and can't drink tap water, perhaps you should consider buying a Brita, tap water is way much better filtered.
From that point buy some potato n fruits you should have a relatively decent diet. Seriously, get a grip, things wont get any better so soon. - jmferris, on 07/09/2009, -0/+5@TobiasParker - You gave three examples, and I countered them. Nowhere did I say that is the only thing that people should eat. Great example of an Al Sharpton side-stepping deflection if I have ever seen one.
It is the responsibility of the parent to instill healthy eating habits. If the children are dictating that you only buy macaroni & cheese, Kool-Aid, and hot dogs the problem wouldn't be the child's eating habits, but the parenting skills involved. For almost every processed "cheap" food, there is an alternative. Being responsible is something that starts with the parents and teaches a child a lesson for life.
Hell, I love a hot dog and mac & cheese from time to time - but it is not a staple of my diet and definitely not something I would consider healthy. As far as the Kool-Aid goes, you can keep that. I would rather stick my toungue in the sugar jar - probably a fair bit healthier. It is attitudes like yours that the rate of juvenile diabetes is skyrocketing. - zdwade, on 07/09/2009, -1/+6but its only tobacco, the govt will stop there. /s
cant wit for govt health care either, they know whats best for me. /s - acknotSW, on 07/09/2009, -1/+6Our grandchildrens grandchildren then? I think they are still ripe for the picking.
- Dauntless1, on 07/09/2009, -0/+5Actually, my doctor told me most natural spices have health benefits.
- Zippo, on 07/09/2009, -4/+9"Here's the #1 reason to smoke: because you enjoy it and it doesn't hurt anyone else."
Except for, ya know, second-hand smoke. And even if you smoke by yourself in a contained area, you're still going to smell like absolute *****. And sure, you'll enjoy smoking... until you start developing a hacking cough.
In countries where there is a universal healthcare system (ie: every other developed nation), smokers cause a huge strain on the system. So many people in hospitals, dying from cancer and heart disease...
In many countries, suicide is illegal... and yet filling your lungs with toxins and tar every day is a-ok, because it's taxed?
I'm not saying tobacco should be banned, but I can appreciate the argument. Anyone who actually thinks smoking isn't going to harm them and people around them is an idiot, in my personal opinion. - Dauntless1, on 07/09/2009, -5/+10The clear definition of liberty also includes that your rights stop where mine start, so I feel as long as you're smoking in your own home, fine, have at it. A smoker's rights do not include giving me any portion of second hand smoke. Despite how many people want to whine about doctors lying about the ill effects, it's very simple. It's your right to smoke if you want, and my right not to. If you're sitting next to me blowing smoke you just took my freedom of choice. So, it's not ok for me to make my own choice? What was that about liberty again?
- radarguy, on 07/09/2009, -1/+5This isn't the 20's. The harms of smoking are well known. Just let Adults do what they want to do. If you want to smoke, thats fine. We don't need the government to make the decision for us.
- Talphin, on 07/09/2009, -1/+5@KimmyGibbler
That's not what my pack of cowboy killers says. - protoopus, on 07/09/2009, -1/+5philip-morris backed this, didn't they?
- inactive, on 07/09/2009, -1/+5This is a step towards making Demolition Man a reality. Soon we will all be eating at Taco Bell. :P
- smotpoker, on 07/09/2009, -2/+6It's not exactly hard to smoke in a manner that doesn't really affect others and many people do. Even if she did it wouldn't be particularly dangerous as long as there was an open window and she wasn't blowing smoke directly on her face. I believe that campfire or BBQ smoke is generally worse than the cigarette variety as is car exhaust (both to the environment and individuals).
Secondhand smoke *can* be harmful if there is repeated moderate or high exposure but that is why most people try to be considerate around non-smokers and take it outside etc. You don't really have to be in the middle of nowhere, just don't blow it in someone's face or smoke in an enclosed area with them - Dauntless1, on 07/09/2009, -6/+10Yeah, but you've got some really nervous addicts right now, as evidenced by the comments to the effect of "Damn government telling me cigarettes are bad for me, how the ***** would they know 152 chemicals including rat poison actually hurt people, they can take my cigarettes out of my cold dead hands!!!!!".
- damnshoes, on 07/08/2009, -3/+7:-E
- alankem, on 07/09/2009, -2/+6We are already banned from smoking in public places. Isn't that enough? Now you have to go further and start banning Tobacco?
- beabis, on 07/09/2009, -2/+5There's some sarcasm we can believe in.
- Swivelstick, on 07/09/2009, -2/+5So you aren't really a Presbyterian?
- DarkShroud, on 07/09/2009, -7/+10Just wait to see what would happen if they get control of health care. Once poor health/lifestyle starts costing them money a different song will be sung. See govsucks's post above.
- zdwade, on 07/09/2009, -1/+4@SirBruce
if u get heart disease from fast food, dont expect me to pay for it
if u get lymphoma from old age, dont expect me to pay for it
get the point, we all die of something. - inactive, on 07/09/2009, -2/+5There have been ZERO studies that prove non-smokers get lung cancer from second hand smoke. The one major government test sheep like to point too showed that lung cancer develops from clean mountain air at the same rate of someone working in a smoke filled restaurant 8 hours a day for 40 years.
10% of smokers die from smoking related illnesses. And of that 10% most problems linked to smoking are blamed on smoking without proof that it was smoking or nature caused.
The fact that politicians want to ban smoking should make you realize its full of *****. - stevealford, on 07/09/2009, -1/+4I'm a libertarian and felt the need to say that just so it doesn't seem that all your diggs are blindly coming from Republican faithful. I hate the false dichotomy of this ***** two-party system and I enjoy the hypocrisy of both sides being stated.
When Republicans dicate their views through legislation, it's usually seen as religious. When Democrats do the same, it's portrayed as being for the good of the environment or public health. It doesn't matter WHAT the reasoning is or how it's viewed: dictating the actions of others which don't affect you is ***** WRONG. It doesn't matter if it's gay marriage or smoking. As long as what I do doesn't hurt you, keep your laws to yourself. I won't smoke in a public building just like your gay cousin won't ***** his boyfriend at the mall's food court. Leave us alone. - inactive, on 07/09/2009, -2/+5Listen...Smokers know smoking is harmful. FDA is never going to approve E-Smokes either because a young upstart company can`t grease the politicians hands enough...until Philip Morris comes out with their own brand of E-Smokes. (which they will tax the hell out of too)
In the mean time and if you make your own smokes...Tax class L, 16oz bags of Pipe Tobacco and tubes...I figure I`m making a pack of cigarettes for about 80 cents or something. - nickem, on 07/09/2009, -2/+5Prediction: FDA will control ALL smoke producing inhalers and inhalants , including coke, weed, bongs, roach clips, razor blades, etc. They will declare that all inhalants are drugs and inhalers and related mechanisms are medical instruments. They will then further decree that they must be administered with a prescription by a health specialist with some specific inhalant license. All inhaled drugs will be produced, marketed and sold by drug companies. Of course, Federal, State, local, medical taxes along with carrying costs, FDA controls and other such fees will be included. Don't expect that these costs will be covered by your Federal health Insurance policy.
Edit - As a libertarian, I oppose any such restraints to do what I wish with my body as long as it harms no others. - Stingwolf, on 07/09/2009, -2/+5It's a good thing we got rid of those Republicans who want to legislate their morals onto us all. Democrats would never try to exert such control over our private lives...
- Xel565, on 07/09/2009, -1/+4Regulation of the consumption of any substance is unconstitutional...that's why we amended the Constitution to ban alcohol (and we see how that worked out). But go tell that to the DEA and see how far you get.
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