What is Digg?Sponsored by The Fourth Kind
What does 3:33 AM mean to you? view!
facebook.com - People have reported alien encounters taking place at 3:33AM. Do you believe? The Fourth Kind - Now Playing.
83 Comments
- D3koy, on 10/10/2007, -0/+31At least bathrooms are free in America....
- Varner13, on 10/10/2007, -1/+31"Negotiate the release of the chocolate hostages." Definitely using that one.
- UtopiaInTheSky, on 10/10/2007, -1/+24Proper terminology is "Dugg". Welcome.
- CompIsMyRx, on 10/10/2007, -2/+21Agreed. Although, taken out of context, this line can sound like you are a racist kidnapper.
- brycelb, on 10/10/2007, -3/+14If you are dropping a deuce in every public bathroom you come in contact with I would say you have bigger problems. Outside of a Chernobyl incident there is no way I am hunkering down in an airport bathroom.
- sundancekid503, on 10/10/2007, -0/+11The toilet seats at O'Hare are definitely the pinnacle of modern civilization. My life's goal is to have one of these at home someday.
- smurf22, on 10/10/2007, -0/+10I dont know about you but when I go to airports my body goes into shut down mode.
- firedrillduckie, on 10/10/2007, -0/+9Well, in other news...
I just learned 5 new ways to say "take a dump." - housetim, on 10/10/2007, -2/+10**THIS IS A SHOEMONEY SPECIAL REPORT**
In the last 3 years I have been all over the US averaging 15 trips per year and 30 different airports per year. Some are repeats but I think its safe to say I have been in 20 different airports in Major Cities. I always like to get to airports early not only for the sake of being early but also just so I can get some work done. Now my platinum Business American Express card gets me into most of the exclusive clubs (red carpet, world perks etc..) sometimes they are on the other side of the airport and I just use the regular public stalls. In the stalls while passing the morning glory I will pull out my laptop fire up the EVDO and get after email and other things. Another thing I like to do is what until they start boarding “handicap and people who need extra time) then hit the can before jumping on the plane.
Here is my full report on bathrooms in major airports from my experiences in them:
Omaha Nebraska - I have been in this airport the most. I have never had one of those “OMG” moments where every stall in the rest room is not salvageable. Great place to drop some brown carrots and get some work done. They have nice hooks in the bathroom to hang your carry ons and/or backpack.
Las Vegas McCarran - I have been here quite a bit (7 times this year alone). McCarran is very hit and miss with security but usually dead on with there restrooms. They have large comfortable stalls that makes dancing with Duece Bigalog a pleasure. I have gotten a lot of work done in the Las Vegas airport.
New York City - Newark, JFK, Laguardia - I am not sure what it is with the NYC area but it seems like the urinals and toilets are just there for decor. People just piss wherever they want and its super disgusting. I can work with a pissy toilet seat if necessary but Christ, if there is piss all over the floor its just not going to happen. There is nothing worse then pulling your shorts up and feeling that wet feeling on the back of your legs that is someone else’s urine. Ya yummy =( Now thankfully they have a LOT of exclusive clubs you can use if you have the right credentials but if not forget about having a good experience in one of these stalls. Horrible place to launch a corn canoe.
# Chicago - OHARE is my favorite airport to drop a duce in. They have these marry-go-round plastic covering that insures you will always have a pee free seat. They also have like 20 crappers in every bathroom so you can always be assured of getting some office space to work out of.
# Miami - The worlds worst city to drive in also has some of the worst bathrooms. There is only like 4 stalls per bathroom and every experience I have had there felt like I should have been getting paid as a part time janitor.
# Minneapolis Mn - Very nice bathoorms but not many stalls. I usually have to wait for a open stall in Minneapolis. Out of the 20+ times I have passed through this airport I have never had a bad experience in there. I am not sure if the janitors are on shifts or are alerted or if its just the people’s mentality but they are always very clean.
# Denver - Denver is totally craptastic. Definitely not the place to negotiate the release of the chocolate hostages. I go through there quite a bit to catch connections and my experience has been pretty bad. EVEN THE BABY CHANGING TABLES ARE DISGUSTING! I think its more neglect then anything. Its always super smelly in the bathrooms in the Denver airport restrooms like a dead body is rotting.
# Orlando Airport - If for what ever reason I found myself like tom hanks in “the terminal” and had to live in a airport I hope happens in Orlando. The airport is supernice and the bathrooms are very large and have lots of hooks to hang your bags on while you drop the kids off at the pool. The toilets are very comfy and everyone I have ever been in has a nice hand railing to rest your hand while you type.
# Atlanta - The Atlanta airport in my experience has been really hit and miss. “its been the best of times its been the worst of times” isnt that a quote from somewhere? Anyway the A-T-L airport is hit and miss for downloading some brownware
# San Jose - Nice clean airport with nice bathrooms but they are somewhat scarce. Usually the bathrooms are a far distance from the gate which makes one of my favorite things to do (hit the can when they call for handicap people to bored) not possible =(
Some techniques when all else fales:
You can use the protective shield thing also known as a ass gaskett.
You can use the hover technique in the handicap stall. Basically you just balance your weight and hover above the pot not letting your skin touch the nastyness below. - futureisours, on 10/10/2007, -4/+11Digged for mention of the hover technique.
- asuraci, on 10/10/2007, -1/+8Good god I hope you're joking.
- fthead9, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6Seriously glad I ate before I read this.
- mrASSMAN, on 10/10/2007, -3/+8Seriously.. I went to France and they charge a dollar in most public areas. ***** you France!
- crapmatic, on 10/10/2007, -0/+5Looks like that site went down the toilet.
- Daniel591992, on 10/10/2007, -1/+6http://www.shoemoney.com.nyud.net:8080/2007/08/09/airports-and-their-bathrooms/
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -0/+5Somebody named mrASSMAN is bound to be an authority on public toilets.
- thewinehead, on 10/10/2007, -0/+5Dugg for making me laugh at the riotous ways to refer to a bowel movement !
- CraigJ, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4Japanese bathrooms FTW
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4For now...
- prz414, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4same here. my reaction to his article is "holy crap this guy needs to work on his bowel control." when push comes to shove though, ORD is the place to go for me.
- africansk8er, on 10/10/2007, -2/+5My town is the first one on the list. Yay?
- quaxon, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3me niether, or any public restroom for that matter. ***** are for home and hotel rooms. what is wrong with you people who have to ***** in public restrooms? cant you hold it in? maybe i just have superior control of my bowels, when i went to summer camp in 7th grade the restrooms were so foul i held my ***** in for 8 days til i got home...my ass hurt for a few days after that.
- bigteebo, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3I worked up a standard for "Bathroom 2.0" many moons ago, that would address EVERY SINGLE STUPID problem with public bathrooms nowadays. The first issue? Those big gaps in the divider walls around toilets. They are inadequate. Word is Switzerland has public bathroom up to my mythical 2.0 standard.
- tsctsc, on 10/10/2007, -2/+5http://www.shoemoney.com.nyud.net/2007/08/09/airports-and-their-bathrooms/
- IllBeBack, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3drop some brown carrots
dancing with Duece Bigalog
to launch a corn canoe
to negotiate the release of the chocolate hostages (my fav, made me laugh)
drop the kids off at the pool
downloading some brownware
Those descriptions are "totally craptastic"! - adam07, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3I'm surprised at the review for Denver Int'l. Whenever I've been in there it's been quite clean.
- mjsfl, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3I'm blowing mud as I type this.
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -1/+4France's currency is Euro, not Dollar.
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2A Tale of Two *****
- quaxon, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2public restroom toilets should be a gloryfied rectangular hole in the ground (with water and plumbing of course, it would run like a normal toilet) where you have to squat to sit like the majority of bathrooms in iran. in fact as wierd as it sounds here i loved taking ***** in iran because of the hole in the ground toilets, a squating ***** gets a lot more of the little nuggets out than the standard sitting position
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2All that means is that YOU might be the one responsible for fouling it up.
"But officer, it was clean when I went in" - profOblivion, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2YOW (Ottawa) - Every time I use them (I walk there for lunch sometimes), they're pristine. No pee on the seats, no pee on the floor by the urinals or anything, stall doors that hover only about 2 inches from the floor for a bit of added privacy, and automatic faucets that actually put out warm water. Downside: foam soap - I much prefer liquid. Added bonus: the handicap stalls are HUGE (maybe even bigger than my home bathroom including the shower) and have their own sink, mirror, and paper towels/hand dryer.
- cactus476, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2"McCarran is very hit and miss with security but usually dead on with THERE restrooms."
Ya for grammar! - markp93, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2The guy can't spell for sh*t but he sure has a lot of funny euphemisms for it.
- Daniel591992, on 10/10/2007, -1/+3"“its been the best of times its been the worst of times” isnt that a quote from somewhere?"
Yeah, it's from this stupid book I'm reading for summer homework, A Tale of Two Cities... :( - LacY, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1The girls bathrooms are usually pretty clean. And on the concourses I've been on, are pretty large (tons of stalls), with a lot of handicapped ones, which are nice when you have a carry-on suitcase. I like that now they have all sensor faucets, and even sensor foam soap dispensers, too.
- quaxon, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1its actually not in most big cities. good luck finding a free public restroom or a business willing to let you use the bathroom without buying something in san francisco, thought there are pay bathrooms on the street. its no wonder the city smells like piss, hell i even piss outside most times im out.
- IllBeBack, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1"Ya"? Did you mean "Yay"?
- JohnnyXmas, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1America - Land of the Free (Bathrooms)!
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1You got served!!!!
- PhillyMJS, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1McCarran FTW. I had a hellacious unplanned overnight layover there back in October, and the stall was the only place I could go for a little privacy after 9 hours on a plane and a couple spent roaming the airport. The handicap stalls there are just about big enough to be cheap apartments in NYC.
- compgeek, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1rofl at the hover technique
- scojerroc, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1"There is nothing worse then pulling your shorts up and feeling that wet feeling on the back of your legs that is someone else’s urine."
what kind of idiot lets his pants touch a public bathroom floor? furthermore, why the hell does he refer to an ass-gasket as a "last resort"?
and he's supposed to be guiding me through the path of restroom cleanliness? - csrster, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1"# Atlanta - The Atlanta airport in my experience has been really hit and miss. "
Well now, there's your problem right there. If only you could control your accuracy a bit better we'd all be happier for it.
Incidentally, talking of bathrooms, the only airport I've ever taken a shower in is Heathrow, after a delayed overnighter from the USA meant I had to wait around most of the day for a connection. Very refreshing. - SerifTheRobot, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1The grammar in that link could make a middle school English teacher blush.
- sundancekid503, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Freedom-***** ain't Free
- Legato, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1if its not for our ailing football team, its for our badass bathrooms o/
- Rikkochet, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1You sure were!
- dannykeithjames, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1So what are you saying? The gaps should be bigger? You're weird!
-
Show 51 - 84 of 84 discussions
Browsing Digg on your phone just got easier with our enhancements to the 
© Digg Inc. 2009
— Content created and posted by Digg users is