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- Machismo, on 10/12/2007, -7/+395Go on...
- raynar, on 10/12/2007, -5/+268yea she is.
- FeignConfidence, on 10/12/2007, -1/+217For those that can't access it
8 Things Women Suck at in Bed
It's not always up to the man to make things exciting. Sometimes the woman should take things into their own hands. Many women fail at doing so because they are either too shy or too lazy to do the little things that matter to a man. Here is a list of the top things women usually suck (no pun intended) at in bed.
Not moving
Ladies, some of you are what men call a "Dead Lay". A "Dead Lay" is a woman that just lays there while the man does all the work. You're suppose to move too even if the guy is on top. Grab his body and move yourself toward him. Show him you want to ***** him and that you enjoy sex just as much as he does.
Kissing other parts of our body
You know how your man kisses your neck and licks almost every area of your body? We like that too. We even like to have our nipples played with (even though many men won't admit it.) Do some teasing. Don't limit yourself above the neck. Feel free to kiss us all over.
Taking control
Many women feel it's the man's job to manage everything and take control. While that is fine most of the time, how about the woman managing how and what is done for once? Doing so lets your man know you want him and results in even more excitement for him, hence increasing it for you as well.
Keeping it new
It's not just up to the guy to keep the new moves coming. You have to keep him excited too. Get an outfit out and do a little teasing. You know that little catholic schoolgirl outfit he likes? Wear it! Don't be shy.
Communicating pleasure
A man is only at sex as his partner. Even somebody that performs poorly in bed hits the spot sometimes, but a man cannot learn where that spot is if you don't somehow indicate to him that you're hitting it. Make a little noise even if you have to do a little acting. Breathe a little harder. Do something! Anything!
Paying attention to our pleasure
Some of you ladies need to learn to take pleasure in giving pleasure. It's sometimes as though you don't care what your partner feels. Asking little things like "Do you like that?" and "How does that feel?" tell your man you want him to feel good. Trust me, it drives us crazy.
Cleaning up immediately after sex
Some of you ladies like to jump up after sex and immediately get the bed sheets off the bed and throw them in the laundry. Acting as though sex with your partner has somehow violated your sleeping space is not the way to go. Sit and cuddle instead. Lay and relax for a while without being so consumed with erasing traces of what you just did.
Cleaning your body immediately after sex
Again, acting like you've been violated in some way and running into the shower doesn't make us men feel too great. It makes us feel like you are bothered with trading bodily fluids, and that's just not what sex is about.
If your sex life is on the skids, improving these things will make a difference for both his and your pleasure. Hopefully you are a woman that doesn't have to worry about these things. If you feel you don't suck at any of these, well, maybe it's time to try your skills on somebody new.
- WarpFox, on 10/12/2007, -23/+193Things girls suck at in bed:
1. Giving head
LIST OVER - canewediggit, on 10/12/2007, -1/+148can we add #9- initiation?
seriously, why must i be the one to start things 90% of the time? i find it much hotter when she does. - jenwright134, on 10/12/2007, -22/+160I don't suffer from any of this, but I've had a few girls that do. I might switch back to men soon if I don't find a good one soon.
- Fluidity, on 10/12/2007, -4/+91.....incredibly small brain out of my ear
- Fluidity, on 10/12/2007, -3/+87Hmmm well trust a woman to make a ridiculously long list of everything that's bothering her while the guy tries hard to be helpful but not go over the top.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -7/+89ROTF! Look at all the stories Jen submitted -
http://www.digg.com/users/jenwright134/submitted
Jen, you're such a horn-dog. Science bless you. :) - dvddesign, on 10/12/2007, -3/+58"My girlfriend always gets up right after and goes "eww gross" and begins wiping herself off like a crazy person."
Well, if it's in her ear, who wouldn't? - TheThirdWheel, on 10/12/2007, -25/+76Wait, I agree with most of these, but what's wrong with the woman running off to take a shower immediately afterwards. I want that time for myself, to nap or watch TV as I see fit. I don't want my wife cuddling with me when we are done, especially with what is now either on the small of her back or stomach area.
- solomonsjim, on 10/12/2007, -19/+72"Things_Women_Suck_at_in_Bed"
I think the title should've been "Women Never Suck, In Bed or Anywhere Else, and When They Do, They Suck at Sucking" :-) - daven1986, on 10/12/2007, -16/+68@ warpfox you need a new girlfriend if yours isn't so good at giving head. unless you meant to say:
"women suck at:
*****" - PabloIV, on 10/12/2007, -1/+48I'm no sort of sex god, but I know how to please my lady. The first time we got it on it wasn't very good. That same night I told her, you have to show me what you like, tell me, point me in the right direction. Although there's some general consensus on what's good ALL women are different when it comes to the details and you have to mold yourself to that. After we had a little talk it's been incredible ever since. Damn she rocks.
Talk to your woman, she's as kinky and messed up as you are. - canewediggit, on 10/12/2007, -3/+48"You know your woman got off when she runs to the bathroom afterwards...trembling"
beg to differ- when she _limps_ to the bathroom - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -3/+47My girlfriend always gets up right after and goes "eww gross" and begins wiping herself off like a crazy person.
- JAWS, on 10/12/2007, -4/+47(tallies checklist) ...oh God, my wife is a terrible lay!
- dustedbunny, on 10/12/2007, -2/+46Dear 99% of digg users (yes, i'm talking to you guys),
Please remember that this doesn't apply to all of us women. There are, however apparently not many, who enjoy pleasing our partners as much as you might enjoy pleasing us. It's all about mutual understanding and trust me. Nothing is fun when either you OR your partner is a bump on a log. If you feel that she's not giving you what you need, ask her. The ones (like some of us, me included) aren't going to kick you in the nuts for telling us what you want. And if she DOES get pissed. Kick her in the face? (im kidding.)
But seriously. It works the same way. If we want something, we should tell you. Same goes for you too. It doesnt make you less of a man to express what you want out of your partner. Communication is the key. (ladies and gents). - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -2/+43Haha. Remember boys.
http://www.tshirthell.com/images/contestpics/a249_003.jpg - Neem, on 10/12/2007, -1/+39Most guys are satisfied with very little, its when we get nothing we go somewhere else. Its really tough to have to leave a girl because of a selection from those 8, specially when you think you had something solid going . In the end Its not so much that the sex sucks terribly, but the feeling that it isn't wanted on the other side that drives us away.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -2/+38That's because men only pick the top few instead of nit picking on every little thing. There are more important things to do than describe 50 things women do wrong when most of them are just trivial nitpickings and rantings.
- FeignConfidence, on 10/12/2007, -4/+40I wonder why? Probably because it doesn't require an ounce of skill, practice, or know how to get a guy off. Someone seeing it for the first time can get a guy off without a problem whatsoever....
- sremick, on 10/12/2007, -0/+33You just ensured a huge spike in your profile views.
- PabloIV, on 10/12/2007, -14/+44I'm usually the one who goes and gets her a towel. I'm sorry but if your woman can, or is willing to, run anywhere right after sex, you're not hitting the right spot.
- dustedbunny, on 10/12/2007, -2/+33coming from a woman's perspective...
As bad as it sounds, but I think canewediggit and pr0t3st have a point. When our legs are shaking and we physically CANT get up out of bed to "run off and clean up." It was damn good. - brstilson, on 10/12/2007, -12/+36"We even like to have our nipples played with (even though many men won't admit it.)"
There are a lot of men who are not turned on by nipple play. For me, it just feels weird, like i'm being de-masculated.
The rest of this article is just formulaic Cosmopolitan ***** written by a woman who wishes men were like women in complexity.
Men are simple, touch our penis and we're happy. There just isn't anything else to write about. - armbar, on 10/12/2007, -2/+26Not to break up your little party, but I like it when my wife touches me in other places than the treasure chest. It feels good.
Now, back to our regularly scheduled generalizing and stereotyping. - DteK, on 10/12/2007, -3/+27I agree ThirdWheel. I will add that this time is also great for eating a Turkey sandwich.
- iamnos, on 10/12/2007, -0/+23At least some of that responsibility is yours. Sure, if she's hard to read, its not easy to tell whats working for her, but sometimes you just have to stop and ask what she likes/wants.
- hollowmedia, on 10/12/2007, -0/+23@billlyboobs34
"My girlfriend always gets up right after and goes "eww gross" and begins wiping herself off like a crazy person."
Since you're apparently dating my ex, next time you talk to her tell her I want my red hoodie back. - xr56n44, on 10/12/2007, -5/+28shut up and get me a beer
- markr, on 10/12/2007, -2/+25Describe your worst blow-job ever:
Fantastic! - ohcoaster, on 10/12/2007, -1/+23jen is a dood
- xutopia, on 10/12/2007, -8/+29That's like saying men are worst drivers because they get more accidents than women do when in fact women get more accidents per hour driven.
Who drives the car when both man and woman are in the car? That's right.
Who drives the bed? That's right. - yonah, on 10/12/2007, -15/+34I don´t think lesbians are as trendy as they used to be.. you might as well make the switch :P
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -2/+21"My girl is great in bed. None of these apply."
Yeah. That thing she does with her... it's awesome. - Technopundit, on 10/12/2007, -15/+31I vote they change the name to "pigg".
- prammy, on 10/12/2007, -0/+15Heh no problem in showering after sex. Hell taking a shower together after sex is great. Usually ends up with a second session in the shower.
- conan359, on 10/12/2007, -1/+15Can anybody post what the 8 things are for those of us at work with firewalls please.
*edit
Thanks to FeignConfidence I can now read this. - negativefx, on 10/12/2007, -4/+19@canewediggit: you need to initiate most of the time because the sheep can't inflate itself :(
- HMTKSteve, on 10/12/2007, -5/+198 things women suck at in bed... and the one thing we wished they sucked better at...
- FeignConfidence, on 10/12/2007, -6/+21Sounds like a personal problem mate ;)
- pr0t3st, on 10/12/2007, -5/+19You know your woman got off when she runs to the bathroom afterwards...trembling
- Sp00nMan, on 10/12/2007, -0/+14So I went to the link
http://www.askamber.com/articles/sex/8-things-women-suck-at-in-bed.html
And I got this in my browser
"No input file specified."
Subtle hint? - dustedbunny, on 10/12/2007, -0/+13Pablo got it right.
Contrary to popular belief, ee women are just as horny and kinky (and messed up haha.) as you are. We're just a little more shy about "acting out". Believe me. - dvddesign, on 10/12/2007, -1/+12Okay... so change every Golf reference to Kingdom Hearts II, hunting to D&D or Warhammer 40K, and every football reference to WiiSports.
- armbar, on 10/12/2007, -3/+13Half of those are about football and golf, both of which I am disdainful of. For some reason, I don't feel manly describing the organized movements of ass-slapping, 300+ pound dudes in skin-tight pants to my coworkers. But that's just me.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -6/+16a/s/l/pix?
- priegog, on 10/12/2007, -1/+11Spot on on that last sentence.
- nepawoods, on 10/12/2007, -1/+10"Again, acting like you've been violated in some way and running into the shower doesn't make us men feel too great."
In other words: "I just got laid, but now you've hurt my feelings".
WTF? This guy (it is a guy, right?) is speaking for men?
BTW, there's an old saying: "Whoever said sex isn't dirty probably wasn't doing it right". -
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