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154 Comments
- Cowgodx, on 05/21/2008, -9/+75Personally i'd like to shove a vacuum up my ass if it allowed me to eat anything i wanted. Self-control is for losers.
- GiJoeBob, on 05/21/2008, -1/+45"Blasting out of your colon" are 5 words that should never be used together.
- psykiv, on 05/21/2008, -2/+44Best diet drug ever? Cocaine.
- StevieJanowski, on 04/02/2009, -2/+30Oily discharge, YEAH!
- KungFuManchu, on 05/21/2008, -0/+26Oh sweet jesus, don't Google Image Search 'mucoid plaque'.
- Tawney, on 05/21/2008, -11/+32So... some people would rather ***** uncontrollably for months than exercise and cut out the junk food? What a sad, sad world we live in.
- nestcrw, on 05/21/2008, -0/+19I did the master cleanse. I lost ten pounds, gained five back. The first thing I ate (well, drank) afterwards, was BEER.
haha, oops. - libertao, on 05/21/2008, -0/+17The South Beach Diet is about permanently cutting out white flour products and meat/dairy high in saturated fat--how is that bad?
- shutaro, on 05/21/2008, -1/+15I guess its better than being Hitler...
/Godwin'd - sjbdallas, on 05/21/2008, -0/+14The painful burning and drops of blood coming out of your ass tells you it's working.
- D0P3M4N, on 05/21/2008, -0/+13The Ass-Blaster diet: You'll crap out your liver. Hey, that weighs a few pounds, right?
- inactive, on 05/21/2008, -1/+14The Ubuntu lettuce diet is not on the list? Fail.
- johndajap56, on 05/21/2008, -1/+13throwing up and cigarettes work for celebrities, try that if you don't want to have the *****. You'll look like a stick and be popular
- SeaweedWater, on 05/21/2008, -3/+14Dugg for poop. Heh heh heh.
- inactive, on 05/21/2008, -13/+23Diets are fail. Enjoy life and eat as you please. Life's purpose is no other than permanent masturbation of all senses until you die.
- iamronburgundy, on 05/21/2008, -2/+12I guess its better than being hooked on Heroin.
- luchid, on 05/21/2008, -0/+10OH. MY. *****. GOD.
Where's Google's "Unsee" feature?!?! - PCloadLetterWTF, on 05/21/2008, -3/+13***** DIETS SUCK!
- hmunkey, on 05/21/2008, -1/+10I feel so sorry for you.
- Ellipsys, on 05/21/2008, -0/+9"compacted fecal matter lining your lower intestine and colon" - I hear this all the time from the "natural health" camp (and I'm not against alternative medicine, provided there is some sort of rationale to back it up), but I've not seen any evidence this condition actually exists as people describe it. The whole "I shat ropes of icky stuff that must have been poisoning my body for years" argument doesn't work because investigations using endoscopy have NEVER seen this phenomenon. Sure, you can be impacted but that isn't a chronic condition, that's acute. If you're impacted you're not ***** well, if at all. Not like these "I thought I was healthy and then I did this cleanse and look what came out!" All these "cleanses" make claims that there are parasites, toxins and other issues in the colon, but there has never been any scientific evidence from a non-biased source to confirm this in "normal, healthy people" who just happen to do these cleanses. Its always some self-diagnosis where they ***** into a colander, pick through it with a chopstick, and think they see all sorts of worms parasites, and other unnatural things.
My theory is that 90% of the "ropes of horrible stuff" effect is not something that was built up in your body, but a reaction between the digestive tract and the "cleansing" compound. Most of these contain artemesia, black walnut, and other herbal treatments for parasites (which, there is scientific evidence has some effect). Some of these compounds, when added just to plain old water, mixed up, and left to harden will practically have the SAME effect.
So I'm glad you're feeling better - eating healthy fiber to get things moved out after a ton of meat is a good thing, but I don't think its because you have a ton of compacted fecal matter up there. - ramenite, on 05/21/2008, -0/+8Damn it!
Well, because you said "don't search for it", obviously this means I had to search for it.
I wish I could unsee the results. - purelithium, on 05/21/2008, -0/+7Oh dear god! He's--He's-- HOLDING IT!!
http://www.detox-cleanse.com/images/mucoid-plaque. ... - SteveIsTheDude, on 05/21/2008, -0/+7There are no winners in an exLax contest....
- glinsvad, on 05/21/2008, -0/+7Case in point: http://digg.com/food_drink/No_food_diet_Hilarious
- candykidd, on 05/21/2008, -0/+7Of course... I had to Google it. Now I wish I had listened to you.
- jjpertusch, on 05/21/2008, -0/+7the master cleanse will most definitely not make you poop. in fact it will do the exact opposite. so much so that they recommend you drink an herbal laxative tea every couple days.
- warbird, on 05/21/2008, -0/+7Vinegar is very good for you. Not only for dieting, but it helps the body absorb more of the nutrients in the food you eat. In essence, you get more "bang for your buck"
- CCflipside, on 05/21/2008, -0/+7My friend tried the master cleanser diet, and after a day or so he was basically pissing hot lava out of his ass. I unfortunately got to witness the product of his rectal adventures one day. I never want to witness a horror like that again
- strikes12, on 05/21/2008, -0/+7Why is the taco bell diet not on that list?
- Hijack32, on 05/21/2008, -0/+7People are full of *****
- relaxeder, on 04/17/2009, -1/+8cocaine is a hell of a drug
- weizilla, on 05/21/2008, -0/+6according to wikipedia, there's no such thing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mucoid_plaque
- ryan83189, on 05/21/2008, -0/+6No sliders diet?
- HIFIsamurai, on 05/21/2008, -0/+6this is disgusting but I read it so I want other to feel my pain.
- snowpunter, on 05/21/2008, -1/+7I've used Oxy Powder. Stuff works like a champ. Assuming working like a champ means you eliminate massive amounts of compacted fecal matter lining your lower intestine and colon, not to mention needing to suppress the need for fart for fear of crapping yourself.
Each bottle has something like 120 pills for 34 bucks. Take about 7 pills at a time at night with a big glass of water. When you wake up, sit on the crapper with a tall glass of water and hang out while your stools set you free. I did feel more energized and probably lost some weight at the same time. I used the pills for a week once. Now I take them whenever I've downed a ton of red meat and want to unclog my system afterwards. - SteveIsTheDude, on 05/21/2008, -2/+8I bet you and your friend have lots of "rectal adventures"... Hee Hee Hee
- ausfahrt, on 05/21/2008, -2/+8The thing is that cleansing diets are not meant to be loose weight diets. They are supposed to cleanse you system of waste that has been sticking around for years and have effects that exercise and healthy eating alone cannot provide. People who use them for weight loss purposes are stupid and are playing dangerous games with their health. Cleanses and fasts have been practiced for thousands of years in some cultures and if done right can be beneficial to your overall health and wellbeing.
- antonio97b, on 05/21/2008, -0/+5Because Taco Bell isn't Mexican enough to make you ***** your pants.
Take it from a mexican, whitey. - inactive, on 05/21/2008, -1/+6Enjoy your uncontrollable chair staining oily orange anal leakage fatties!
- sarixe, on 05/21/2008, -0/+5Are you calling turkey subs nasty? Why I oughta...
- one1plus1one, on 05/21/2008, -0/+5Its really bad if you have a fetish about two girls slathering a saturated-fat oil all over their bodies and then rolling around in white-flour.
- Besundale, on 05/21/2008, -0/+5looks kinda like beef jerky :)
- relaxeder, on 04/17/2009, -0/+5SUNDRIED TOMATOES
- Typhoon2009, on 05/21/2008, -1/+6wat
Nothing wrong with a proper diet. I'm on a diet right now - except I'm eating above my 'maintenance' calories (what I burn in a day) because I want to gain muscle. It's great - I like to eat, and gaining muscle means eating more than usual :) - inactive, on 05/21/2008, -2/+7Cocaine is herbal medicine.
- USCooper, on 05/21/2008, -0/+5I foresee "mucoid plaque" having an abnormally large spike in the Google Trends labs in the near future.
- Chainheart, on 05/21/2008, -0/+5Apple Cider Vinegar really does make you *****. It also clears up acne pretty well. The downside: a mouth-shriveling taste
- DarkoKun, on 05/21/2008, -7/+12Food thats good for you tastes nasty.
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