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6 Sex Mistakes All Men Make (and how to overcome them)

menshealth.com — Every guy has made these blunders, but it shouldn't keep you from having headboard-rattling sex. Shake the bedroom with these routine-breaking moves that will please her every time...

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  • duggtodeath, on 10/10/2007, -116/+45Diggers don't have sex...with actual women.
    • DeskFlyer, on 10/10/2007, -32/+288LOLOLOL DIGGERS DON'T HAVE SEX COS THEY DONT HAVE GIRLFRIENDS, I GET IT, ROFL!!1! GOOD ONE!!11!
    • kooft, on 10/10/2007, -21/+2Who plagiarized my how-to guide?
    • BarryChuckle, on 10/10/2007, -5/+55OH NO IM BEING STEREOTYPED!
    • doctorfungi, on 10/10/2007, -15/+11You know Digg and girlfriends aren't mutually exclusive things dude...
    • diggitydoc, on 10/10/2007, -8/+111don't stereotype me, bro!
    • AndruC, on 10/10/2007, -7/+49Help! Help! I'm being repressed!
    • hoowahman, on 10/10/2007, -15/+9They have sex with microwaved fruit
      • munkyxtc, on 10/10/2007, -6/+3or Elio's pizza [still wishing I would have never clicked that damn link]
    • cfd339, on 10/10/2007, -17/+5Three kids, nothing to prove.
    • Shakermaker, on 10/10/2007, -10/+37Just because you have sex with men doesn't mean the rest of us do too...
    • hackmyballs, on 10/10/2007, -11/+10I, for one, don't welcome our new cosmo-digg overlords!
    • cloudyprison, on 10/10/2007, -5/+3Hey now, I'm not married YET!
      • orangekid13, on 10/10/2007, -1/+3Don't wait, act now! /used car commercial voice
    • qasabah, on 10/10/2007, -5/+36In Iran we don't have sex like in your country.
      • vornan19, on 10/10/2007, -6/+2That's funny, y'all look like you're shaped the same.
    • sk8ordiemofo, on 10/10/2007, -2/+7You kind of put your foot in it there, since your statement means you dont have sex with real women too.
    • nikkesen, on 10/10/2007, -4/+4So using the internet makes you a virgin guy? Who'd have thunk it? Moron.
      • twisterrust, on 10/10/2007, -5/+3Thunk? please tell me you are joking
        specially when you say Moron!!
    • Kwasny, on 10/10/2007, -2/+3So I recently had sex with my hand...
    • ch33sehead, on 10/10/2007, -0/+8LEAVE DIGGERS ALONE!!!!!!
    • ICSU, on 10/10/2007, -0/+8Your mom is not an actual woman? shiiit...
    • silverwolfe, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4No, I like my sex with actual men.
    • Ssullivan, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Funny, I just had sex last night with my girlfriend. Yes, thats us in my avatar.
  • sputnikv, on 10/10/2007, -8/+91if i could, i would
    • SuperWinner, on 10/10/2007, -2/+53God forbid a female do anything to turn us on... just being there is all they need to do. Ya right.
    • Quaterni0n, on 10/10/2007, -6/+1Why can't you? Did you have an encounter with Loretta Bobbit?
    • Ttoillenoj, on 10/10/2007, -2/+0but i don't know how
    • offwithyourtv, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3If I could, I would make Digg a little less like a gossip magazine at a grocery store checkout.
  • lOvOl, on 10/10/2007, -267/+44Wow one of the most useless sex advice articles ever intended to sugar-coat reality for all the guys out there reading it.

    Now, considering I am a dude and very much not gay, I don't know what sex mistakes guys make in bed from personal experience, but I have learned at least some hard-earned lessons over the years with the opposite gender (no pun intended).

    (1) Size does matter - Of course it is relative size that matterns, namely the size of your penis relative to the vaginal depth of her vagina and how functional her vaginal muscles actually are. If she does her kegels on a routine basis and her vaginal muscles have not been damaged by child birth (which often happens if the woman's vaginal muscles are way out of shape), then the guy she is with doesn't need as much girth to fill her up. As far as length goes, the average vaginal depth is 5-7 inches unaroused and 6-8 inches aroused. When a woman becomes fully aroused, her the back of her vagina (posterior fornix) tents for extra room for deep penetration. If you are a man and happen to be small or even average size (5-6 inches), then you are simply never going to give her a uterine orgasm unless she has a shallower than average vaginal depth or you put on a strap on or some other prosthetic. This is just the simple fact. I used to be slightly under 5 inches in length, but through over 3 years of NPE (Natural Penis Enlargement), I am at about 8 inches and the difference is night and day as far as my performance is concerned. Having a larger tool not only changes your overall confidence level in bed, but it does so in life as well. Plus, unless I am ridiculously clumsy, I don't have a slippage problem anymore and women hate it more than anything if your penis keeps slipping out or the best you can do is grind her, rather than actually penetrating her. And yah I know I will hear people saying "who needs a penis when you can please her orally" or some derivative of that argument. I am sorry, if all a woman wanted to do was have oral sex and grind, then all women would be lesbians. Simply put, relative size matters.

    (2) Women don't like wimpy looking dudes - There is compelling scientific evidence, I forget where but probably from "No Duh University", that big, well-toned athletic muscles which are for the most part functionally useless in today's society (I mean who needs muscles for self-defense when we have guns), their use is akin to the tail feathers of the male peacock in attracting the female peacocks. I know this as well because I have gone from being muscular to out of shape to muscular several times in my life and there is definitely a difference in the response in bed when you have muscles when compared to when you do not. Even the skinny dudes can put on some weight if they want to and as an endomesomorph myself, I find it really hard to keep off the fat unless I lift a couple times a week (in other words, running only does so much for my metabolism), so if you happen to be fat rather than skinny, you might want to look into packing on some muscle, rather than simply trying to diet down and lose fat as a long-term fat management strategy. Nevertheless, just like with guys who have small wangs, if you have small biceps and you know women DIGG them, then you only have yourself to blame for not doing something about it. Rather than complain about women being "shallow", which for the most part they definitely are, indulge them so that they will be more desperate to be with you, rather than the other way around.

    (3) - Women don't like effeminate dudes - If you have an effeminate voice, do your best to change it (not suggesting you take the Barry Bonds route, but spend a little bit of time practicing on lowering your pitch a little bit). Yah there are exceptions to this rule such as Justin Timberlake, but he can sing and dance. If you can't sing and dance, then you don't get a pass by women for having an effeminate voice. Unless a woman happens to be a lesbian, she wants a tiger in bed, rather than a pussycat. If your grunting and groaning and sex talks sounds more like a little meow rather than a manly roar, well don't expect her to get too worked up and expect her to fake her orgasms more often than not, or all the time. When I am in intellectual discussion mode with people, even I can sometimes sound a bit like a woussy from time to time. However, just like meeting a woman for the first time, your bedside demeanor should be the same in the sense that you should have a firm demeanor in your voice and strong, confident eye contact. If you don't do that the first time you meet a woman, your chances of her ever wanting to bed you from that time on our will be slim and none. Women are very good at smelling pussies from a mile away, considering that they happen to be born with one.

    (4) Assuming you have #1 covered, oral skills are very important. Once upon a time, I had an ex-girlfriend who happened to have a year round natural tan and I happened to be her first pasty skinned boyfriend. Anyways, we talked about a lot of stuff and she complained about black dudes either not doing oral or else being really awful at it. Of course, I didn't really care to know this information nor any details of her exes, but she decided to share them with me anyways. Nevertheless, women can have many different types of orgasms, and giving her a clitoral orgasm from oral, and then a G-Spot orgasm through the proper use of your digits (or a combo thereof), will get her prepared for the grand enchilada of a uterine orgasm through deep penetration. Of course, if your wang is too small, then she will be thinking "oh well this is the point where I fake an orgasm and hope he cums soon", but if it is not, and you know the spots to hit deep inside her, then this will be where the beauty of multiple orgasms takes over and you have complete control over her body to the point you can make her cum on demand. It is also the point where she will become extremely frustrated if you don't nut soon, so you can't be too greedy here. Last but not least, you never want to give a woman a spectacular performance too often or else she will get used to it and if you are not super-awesome every time in bed, well then she will start looking elsewhere for her needs (even though you were the best she ever had), so you definitely want to ration the super sex.

    (5) Oh yah did I mention the G-Spot? - Yah in anatomical terms, the G-Spot is really just the undeveloped female prostate gland and to varying degrees women like it stimulated, but it takes a lot of tact not to just plain annoy the crap out of her. If you have ever had a very aggressive woman on top banging hard on your pelvis (not good technique on her part BTW), then you will soon feel the need to stop and go pee because your prostate gland was been smashed to pieces. Well, this is effectively what happens with the G-Spot when you stimulate it. Too much pressure and she has to run to the bathroom and too little will cause her to say in her head "I am about to go grab my jackrabbit if he doesn't get it right". Even though women prefer men with big hands, if you have small hands (like I do), they can come in very handy because the more fingers you can jam in there comfortably, the more interesting things you can do with her anatomy. Also, even though you can combo the clitoral and G-Spot orgasms together, usually when she is about to cum you want to get more aggressive with the fingering and more sensitive with the licking because you probably already gave her a clitoral orgasm already and you want this orgasm to feel different. If you don't have a lot of time and just want to get her off, then just go aggressive on the fingering and tongue action, but if you want to really rock her world, keep the orgasms separate because a clitoral orgasm is shorter than a G-Spot orgasm and a G-Spot orgasm is shorter than a uterine orgasm. If someone ever develops a sex toy that can cause a chain reaction of the types of orgasms in a staggered way (you would probably have to have some sort of EEG device to monitor her brain somehow), then it will be bad news for us guys, but until that happens we still have the edge.

    (6) Hygiene matters - If you happen to not like Bush (and no, I am not talking about the president), well then don't be surprised if not a lot of women like it either unless she wants to floss her teeth with your pubic hairs that got caught when you she was giving you head or sucking on your balls. Just like a smelly, unclean vagina is not pleasant to go down on, or an unclean ass is not pleasant to sniff when the updraft from doing her doggy-style hits you in the nose, women don't want to suck some guy's dick that has fromunda cheese all over it. And for guys who are uncut, this is doubly true because just about every foul microorganism imaginable gets caught up in their foreskin and I would imagine that nobody on this planet (gay or straight) would ever want to suck a dick with cheesy, foul smelling ***** (literally sometimes) all over it if indeed sucking dick was something they enjoyed doing. Also, if you do happen to shower before going out on a date with your girlfriend, wife, or whoever you may have intimate relations with, do not let piss runoff get all over you when you get up to take a leak. Grab a piece of toilet paper after you have drained yourself thoroughly and wipe off your dick. If you don't do this, well then you risk a women taking a big gulp before she even opens her mouth (i.e. she must really like/love you to suck your dick if you smell like the piss monster).
    • Spoonicus, on 10/11/2007, -3/+110Jesus dude.. who the ***** are you, Ron Jeremy?
    • doctorfungi, on 10/11/2007, -9/+190Haaaahahahaha! You had to enlarge your *****. What a douche bag.
      • MasterRex, on 10/10/2007, -5/+1Hahahahahh! You still have a tiny penis!
    • brstilson, on 10/10/2007, -3/+156Dude, you sound like a freaking commercial. "I used to be small................until I tried Prometheus, the NATURAL penis enlargment pill for men." Hate to break it to you pal, but your dick isn't any bigger. Welcome to the placebo effect.
      • doodoo112, on 10/10/2007, -8/+0Actually NPE does work. I'm an average guy but I experimented with it for a couple months and added ~1" to my size. If anyone is interested in learning more about it (or giving it a try) check one of the forums on the topic. I used http://blakereviews.com/forum/ but there are many more.
    • bgii2000, on 10/10/2007, -7/+43What the *****. (ha ha, pun) Can you possibly make yourself anymore sexist and bigoted?
    • datastorageguy, on 10/10/2007, -3/+37Hilarious.
    • phantom_mullet, on 10/10/2007, -1/+172Key phrase in your entire post? Larger tool.
      Could you be more of one? Absolutely not.
    • jeuhrn, on 10/11/2007, -3/+198Chicks don't dig getting *****-stabbed in the uterus. If you walked around with dumbells on your "wang" for three years, you're a real pair of clownshoes. You can please a woman with a finger, and it's not done by sticking it into her fallopian tubes.
      • Nupeper, on 10/10/2007, -2/+50you win
      • krebcycle, on 10/10/2007, -15/+6That's not really true, no woman likes a finger as much as a penis.
        • Markpdotcom, on 10/10/2007, -11/+2Depends how thick your fingers are! ;)
          (sorry, I agree with you, just had to get all smutty there for a second) :D
        • userini, on 10/11/2007, -0/+33A lot of guys think that. My finger used to be slightly under 3 inches in length, but through over 3 years of NFE (Natural Finger Enlargement), I am at about 8 inches and the difference is night and day as far as my performance is concerned. As soon as the women see my finger, they are all over me!
        • TheJokerV, on 10/11/2007, -1/+3Now you win
      • Aaronontheweb, on 10/10/2007, -0/+8I think this is literally the funniest thing I have ever read on Digg.
    • TLAKABM, on 10/10/2007, -0/+99You know what women *don't* like? Insecure guys.

      And uterine orgasm? If you actually managed to get your penis into her uteris, it would extremely painful.
      • ShrimpCrackers, on 10/10/2007, -2/+31And she'd eventually bleed to death.
      • ShrimpCrackers, on 10/10/2007, -17/+2Why the heck does Digg's comment system double post? Ugh.
      • goldfishey, on 10/10/2007, -4/+3well I know where he gets his information from, and mister? those video's are *fantasy*. As in completely unrelated to reality - get back to us if and when you have some experience with real women. -
      • shreela, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2It's my understanding that the older term "uterine orgasm" is now referred to as "vaginal orgasm". The reason for the term was because of the uterus contracting during such orgasms, not because the uterus was 'penetrated'.
    • Prelude76, on 10/10/2007, -8/+162You talk about how black dudes can't do oral, you mention how happy you are with your penis enlargement, you mention that justin timberlake sings and dances great, you compare muscular dudes to peacocks, you imply that you shave your ass and nutsack, and you go into detail how a dirty dick tastes and how best to keep it clean.

      *cough* *****
      • airquotes, on 10/10/2007, -3/+44Prelude wins, Fatality!
      • ShrimpCrackers, on 10/10/2007, -1/+56You actually finished reading all that?
      • DreKor, on 10/10/2007, -1/+31Didn't need to. He gives it away at the start when he says he's "very much not gay".
      • nateabel, on 10/10/2007, -9/+6Homophobia sure is cool!
    • tomis, on 10/10/2007, -11/+64Considering how long this comment is, I seriously doubt you're a dude. Only women talk this god damn much, and only a women would actually read the whole thing.
      • expliquezvous, on 10/10/2007, -0/+31i'm a woman and i stopped two sentences into the first bullet point.
        • rnwen2750, on 10/10/2007, -0/+16Same - I skimmed and LOLed.
        • jessicama2, on 10/10/2007, -0/+8me too...and once i saw uterine orgasm i got the ***** outta there.
    • kiwimachead, on 10/10/2007, -12/+7Wow man that's full on. A bit scary. I cant believe you adjusted your tool- different strokes i guess.
    • ISIfunded911, on 10/10/2007, -41/+5Funny how all the diggers who know very little about sex judging from their pathetic uninformative comments attack a guy who is much more literate than them. Of course you all believe you know about sex, that you are competent because you had sex with women and they did not flee immediately after the first night. But it is just an illusion: most people are stupid, illiterate, incompetent, mediocre,...And geeks are the most stupid, illiterate, incompetent, mediocre sex partners a woman can stumble upon...at least that is your reputation, and if you were the best lovers around your reputation would be very different. How many books about sex did you read? Knowledge does matter, and like in any field, the more books you read the more you know...but most people do not read books, or not many, or ***** books. And how many women did you have a real deep communication about sex with? Anyway, you will not progress and become a 5-start lover as long as you behave so childishly and aggressively in the presence of a man who is a better more knowledgeable and experienced lover than you.
      • adooga, on 10/10/2007, -1/+15I want to be a "5-start lover". How do I do this?
      • ncapone, on 10/10/2007, -1/+13For someone who claims nerds and geeks are illiterate, why can't you put a decent sentence together?
      • goldfishey, on 10/10/2007, -1/+12I usually find geeks are the most intelligent, literate and competent of men I meet. And that guy sounded about as knowledgeable about sex with a woman as you are apparently! (yes, buy that I mean, ZERO real experience) Uterine freaking orgasm! Give me a break! - any guy tries to get that far inside me, and I'm going to rip his spleen out through his esophagus!
      • goodkidyo, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3very well damn near possibly the weirdest post i've ever read.
      • Aaronontheweb, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3I just heard an emotional baggage train crash
    • TheUngod, on 10/10/2007, -4/+35Bwwaaaahahaha! Women don't like effeminate guys?? Hate to break it to you bud, but I know plenty of women who love 'em, especially bisexual women. Maybe you live in rural south where fem boys are beaten, but I'm from MA, where fem boys run free with lots of women.
      • sammythemc, on 10/10/2007, -1/+9Going to go ahead and agree with TheUngod here. I have a stepbrother who is fairly effeminate and straight, and the ladies love it.
    • lavaia, on 10/10/2007, -3/+17@IOvOI, wtf dude those are all wrong
    • espritprv36, on 10/10/2007, -0/+9Really?! Who ARE you?
    • Quaterni0n, on 10/10/2007, -0/+16Dugg for sheer comedy!
    • SierraAlpha, on 10/10/2007, -0/+15I dugg this article just because of this comment and the replies it has generated.
    • SteelFrog, on 10/10/2007, -1/+3TLDR.
    • calinazaret, on 10/10/2007, -0/+19The most wonderful, romantic, life changing sex I ever had was with a man who was, er, size-challenged. That's not what it's about. This is an ad for NPE.

      Yes, I'm a woman.
    • animaetaeris, on 10/10/2007, -1/+12ditto sierra

      advice wise... I have to say I agree in general terms, I would hope my bf would at least know what these are... attitude-wise, lOvOl, you are an ass and I would never ***** you, even if you could give me orgasms.
    • shyner, on 10/10/2007, -0/+9Woah. You must have a pencil dick now if you stretched it 3 inches.
    • firstdueco41, on 10/10/2007, -1/+9I have ADHD...now what?
    • modex, on 10/10/2007, -36/+5I for one think this guy is spot on. He posted the cold, hard, and sometimes unpleasant truth.

      All those who dugg him down are *****. And you're a ***** if you digg me down too.
      • EASwanson, on 10/10/2007, -2/+13Guess I'm gay!
      • pmurrph, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3whoops
      • planksconstant, on 10/10/2007, -1/+8bundles of sticks UNITE!
      • hightower77, on 10/10/2007, -0/+5Screw me in the ass and call me Shirley then I guess.
      • TheJokerV, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4damn I guess I'll have to leave Iran now
        • NozE8, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1You could always go somewhere they welcome US Americans such as.. the Iraq....
      • passedoutghost, on 02/13/2008, -0/+0I have never seen anyone dugg down so much like lOvOl
    • Crispuk, on 10/10/2007, -0/+29Dude, get a blog.
    • AROZ, on 10/10/2007, -1/+18He achieved an incredible word count to negative digg count ratio. Loser.
    • r2cole1, on 10/10/2007, -3/+13"...an unclean ass is not pleasant to sniff when the updraft from doing her doggy-style hits you in the nose..."

      ORLY? Hmmm, never had that problem before. Then again I've only been w/ women. I can totally see that being a problem for you when you hook up w/ guys.
    • ctrlfreak13, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Hate to break it to you, but the size of women's vagina expands to the length of the penis when she's aroused, it doesn't just turn into the massive cavern as you imply it does.
    • chlorinekid, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1dugg for "long-term fat management strategy"

      get a long term phat comment strategy pal...

    • Litanss, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4don't drink and digg
    • SlipstreamLucas, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1someones been reading a lot of mystery method and seduction forums me thinks.
  • FreakyD, on 10/10/2007, -4/+166Be very careful not to jab it in her eye
    • doctorfungi, on 10/10/2007, -2/+27But sometimes she likes it...
    • trogdor282, on 10/10/2007, -2/+66Ear sex is on the rise here in Quahog, prompting the new phrase "once you go black, you go deaf"
    • gn0stik, on 10/10/2007, -4/+1I'm assuming you meant brown eye? If not, watch out, that one could get you bucked off and thrown clean across the room.
    • jbmercha, on 10/10/2007, -2/+4I knew this girl who had a fake eye... she would take it out and... oh yeah.
  • CasinoJack, on 10/10/2007, -12/+379Hey, they missed the all-time favorite mistake guys make during sex - "Whoops! Wrong hole."
  • Spoonicus, on 10/10/2007, -7/+129I for one would just like to congatulate lOvOl on the worlds longest digg comment. Dude perhaps you should have written your own article and submitted that instead of piggybacking.

    never mind.. here's your medal.
    • polyphonic, on 10/10/2007, -4/+33freak i almost missed his comment. thank you so much for writing this..
    • jondayz, on 10/10/2007, -1/+10Definitely won the award for the longest, and it's being nominated for the worst.
    • skyfire1, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2I dunno. I remember some guy posted the time cube on digg before.
  • ufia, on 10/10/2007, -26/+114"Tie her hands."

    What is this, a step-by-step rape guide?
    • extratired, on 10/10/2007, -13/+72virgin
    • kent1146, on 10/10/2007, -5/+113It's not rape. It's surprise sex.
    • picsectionpleez, on 10/10/2007, -1/+33Hit her over the head. When she wakes up tell her she fell.
    • MaddieCakes, on 10/10/2007, -1/+10Hey now, bondage rules. I LOVE having my hands tied.
    • cnot3, on 10/10/2007, -0/+18Question: "Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
    • DustarForgash, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3My girlfriend loves getting tied up.
      • archiecstll, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2LIAR! No diggers have girlfriends. it's a fact.
        • Ssullivan, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Better tell that to my girlfriend... not all of us are hopeless sex starved geeks.
  • catala99, on 10/10/2007, -16/+23"Make a mental circle 2 inches around the outside of her vagina"
    Can I draw it with a pen? At least then I will have fun ;-) Useless *****.
    By the way, I just ask her to swallow
    • vapblack, on 10/10/2007, -2/+8rofl agreeed.
    • ominpotent123, on 10/10/2007, -2/+8hey man, i like to sound like a stud too, but i would never ask that. follow up sex would be impossible, and we've all had to resort to previous lays during dry spells. If she offers, fine, but otherwise thats a personal no-no.

      if it was sarcasm, im an idiot and ignore this
  • Bahimiron, on 10/10/2007, -8/+149I'll tell you on thing, there's no polite way to suggest sticking it in her ass. :(
    • chrispr, on 10/10/2007, -4/+6"Darling, may I please have anal sex with you?"
    • ominpotent123, on 10/10/2007, -1/+27It's called alcohol, lots of alcohol
    • mcduckov, on 10/10/2007, -4/+21After many years and several women my well-considered opinion is not to suggest anal...ever. If the woman brings it up then fine. If you try to talk her into it you're just setting yourself up for problems for, seriously, very little reward. If she does bring it up it means that she has probably already done it and enjoyed it or she has played with toys and wants to take it to the next level. If she doesn't mention it then it is your job to do all the prep work and she'll always blame you if anything goes wrong. And yes, things do go wrong even if you do everything right. The anus and rectum are not well designed for sex and I promise you that even if you go through all the steps (fingers, to plugs, to just penetration and a gallon of lube) it is still possible to rupture a blood vessel or to cause a fistula at any time. In fact you can think of anal sex as pooping a couple of hundred times in a row (depending on how long you can go).

      So you compress the natural risks of a year's worth of bowel movements into 20 minutes. I was with a girl for about 2 years who liked anal sex better than vaginal. We had it down to a science and even with her sometimes things went wrong (mostly burst blood vessels). It was worth the risk for her because she had these absurd orgasms but for me...meh. I was doing it for her. From my perspective now, taking a girl into it just seems ridiculous. It is like trying to talk my way into more work/risk for almost no personal reward. Again, that all changes if SHE genuinely wants it...but coerce her into it? Nah.
  • Zekaer, on 10/10/2007, -5/+29Just do it...
    • fishbert, on 10/10/2007, -1/+12You a Nike spokesman, or did you miss the 'Reply' link?
  • barkingmoonbat, on 10/10/2007, -15/+7Do men actually have to be told these things?
    • riverminx, on 10/10/2007, -4/+5apparently yes
    • MagicCake, on 10/10/2007, -1/+8I would say so, since it's stupid advice and no one would think of it on their own.
  • 4fingers, on 10/10/2007, -3/+997. Stay away from digg
  • Knobee, on 10/10/2007, -3/+26Cuff links?
    • Firehed, on 10/10/2007, -0/+13They're something for classy people - don't worry about it. I've only heard rumors that they actually exist.
    • Impeller, on 10/10/2007, -1/+3LOL... they're obligatory at some office jobs... banks mostly...
  • Babazoz, on 10/11/2007, -2/+1058. Don't take anything Men's Health says seriously.
    • Impeller, on 10/10/2007, -1/+3Even if they say it a thousand times...
  • viniciusfontes, on 10/13/2007, -3/+223"Read to her"? Geez, damn pedophiles.
    • retardrus, on 10/10/2007, -2/+30hahahahah, oh ***** I spat my oatmeal everywhere!
    • ominpotent123, on 10/10/2007, -1/+29One fish two fish, red fish blue fish...
    • offwithyourtv, on 10/10/2007, -2/+3If my fiance decided to read to me before sex one night, I'd question his sobriety. If I determined he was indeed sober, I'd tell him to never do that again, put down the book and skip to the "good part of the story."
  • Treoinmypocket, on 10/10/2007, -4/+60"...with these routine-breaking moves that will please her every time..."
    .
    hmmmm..ROUTINE BREAKING moves that will please her EVERY TIME? Sounds like someone is starting a NEW routine.
  • Martlet, on 10/10/2007, -12/+310If God had wanted her to enjoy sex, he'd have given her a penis.


    Honey, if you read this, it's just a joke, and yes, I already took out the trash.
    • kiwimachead, on 10/10/2007, -9/+2Funny- but true.....on both fronts.
    • Genthree, on 10/10/2007, -12/+4Thanks honey, I don't suppose you could pick up the kids on the way home?
    • AbsurdParadox, on 10/10/2007, -6/+3"Honey, if you read this, it's just a joke, and yes, I already took out the trash." - Apparently he didn't give you testicles.
    • chix0r, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4I don't know you but i love you.
  • eugene259, on 10/10/2007, -2/+29Gees, sounds like a corny article out of a tabloid mag one would buy in a check out line in a supermarket. Buried.
  • superfusion, on 10/10/2007, -4/+44"overcome".

    giggity.
  • TheOtherGuy, on 10/10/2007, -2/+12pfft.. it all sounds like too much effort to me.
    • Gizza, on 10/10/2007, -3/+4All she has to do is lie there naked. Why should we do all the work.
    • picsectionpleez, on 10/10/2007, -4/+8My philosophy is that she's there for me to do my thing TO, not so much WITH. Although I have to admit sometimes it ends up being a mutual thing (whenever I put brand new batteries in her the mouth moves).
  • anarchytv, on 10/10/2007, -14/+111Have sex with her best girlfriend. Boy, that will really liven and stir things up. Women love to fight. Its high drama and passion. And they love jerks. And make up sex is really awesome. You can't go wrong. I mean, you're getting to sleep with her girlfriend, so you're going in already a winner... once you cross that bridge, its a long slippery slope to having two women in bed at the same time, which is actually quite fun. Women are fiercely competitive, and they will compete for your sexual attention. I highly recommend it. Its kind of like having your own mini-harem. Sisters are the best, they are terribly competitive and already comfortable with seeing each other naked. einstein / anarchy-tv
  • catfish182, on 10/10/2007, -2/+55will this work on my blowup doll?
    • Mike89, on 10/10/2007, -4/+7 I lol'd
    • LeeMaple, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6Reading to your blowup doll is just silly...
    • TheLoneHoot, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3make a mental circle 2 inches around her blow up valve.
  • Prelude76, on 10/10/2007, -35/+8I don't know what's worse - the author of this article thinking he knows how to please women, or the embarrassment guys will feel if they actually follow these idiotic 'tips'.

    1. concentrate on her thighs and belly. haha.. yeah, good tip there. instead of her pleasure zones, make sure you play with and kiss the parts of her body she's likely most embarrassed about. *roll eyes* how about neck, or breasts, or run finger thru her hair? but lick her belly????

    2. do it in garage or car?? um, how old is the author? 16? the only reason anyone has sex in a car or garage is because they still live with their mom and can't afford a hotel room.

    3. yeah, nothing like smelling like sweat BEFORE sex to get a woman turned on. lol

    4. tie her hands, gag her, whip her, spank her. uh, this is supposed to be guide for sex, not s&m, right?

    5. yeah, let me bust out a stephen king novel and read it to her. that will turn her on.

    6. who the hell still holds hands while walking? and the tip to caress her neck instead, it may be mistaken as strangulation. :)

    All this article proves is that Men's Health magazines are in fact written by and for the gay population. Stick to Maxim or Stuff for sex tips.
    • Crazalus, on 10/10/2007, -2/+38"6. who the hell still holds hands while walking?"

      Me and the other half do...
      • Prelude76, on 10/10/2007, -24/+2couples like you make me sick :)
      • mcduckov, on 10/10/2007, -1/+5An ex insisted that I hold her hand when walking. She also insisted that I hold her hand when driving. It was weird because she was an otherwise independent and not-clingy person. She also insisted on holding my dick when we were going to sleep (that one didn't bother me so much).

        The thing about hand-holding is that you can easily embarrass her out of the habit but you will pay. Oh will you pay...
    • johnnysaucepn, on 10/10/2007, -0/+22Sounds like you're *exactly* the target audience here.
      1. Even if the woman is self-conscious about those parts, it's the best way to get her to feel comfortable and even get pleasure from them. Plus, it makes her feel that you don't just see her as genitals that walk.
      2. The whole point is to make it spontaneous, and reminiscent of youth.
      3. Not *smelling* like sweat - fresh sweat doesn't smell, apart from those pheromones.
      4. Who said anything about whipping or spanking?
      5. and 6. You seem to have this weird, dysfunctional idea that good sex is all about being as horny as possible, and that physicality is all that matters. You're missing out on what makes a real man good in bed.
    • krets, on 10/10/2007, -5/+2My gf and I hold hands while we walk sometimes but not everywhere we go. If we're on a date somewhere we hold hands. Sunday at the game, no holding hands.
    • picsectionpleez, on 10/10/2007, -1/+4Read Cosmo to her. The subjects are always sex and girls like the articles. Shows her you're comfortable with your masculinity. Plus stuff like the horoscopes can be funny. I dunno- works for me just to get us a little unwound.

      Then it's massages (for me). And she models.... Then it's time for the lube and......
      • djpants428, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2...then you pull out your robe and wizard hat?
    • terminal157, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2You don't know what S&M is.
    • goldfishey, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2holding hands is good. Even sweat is ok, if its not overpowering, and not still damp. and you might want to *ask* her before you break out that whip and chains!
      But I agree whole heartedly about reading... I mean wtf? a bedtime story is just gonna put me to sleep, no matter how deep you can strain your voice! ;)
    • Impeller, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0Take a bath daily and 6 could be possible....
  • m3t00, on 10/10/2007, -18/+7Wrong hole!
    • TekTrixter, on 10/10/2007, -2/+11No such thing...
    • picsectionpleez, on 10/10/2007, -2/+5From my college room mate's room late one night: "Oh my God you're in my ass!"
      • adooga, on 10/10/2007, -1/+9Did it feel like you thought it would?
      • Firehed, on 10/10/2007, -2/+1She didn't notice the approach? I don't think that's something you just realize all of a sudden - I'd imagine it's quite obvious from the start.
      • Impeller, on 10/10/2007, -1/+0HE must have been surprised... keep gay sex xperience to urself....
  • feedbag, on 10/10/2007, -9/+11How come all the be a better lover advice that's out there is all about changing the way you do things so it's more like a romance novel? Where's the advice that might actually make things more fun for the guy too... like "suggest you try having sex on the living room floor watching porn with the windows wide open and be totally uninhibited - it could be exciting!" or "propose the idea of a threesome... you know you've wanted to try it, and your wife/girlfriend might just have a great time as well".
    It just seems the advice for a better sex life really means that since you're going to get off anyway, improving things for the guy doesn't matter - just change the way you do things for the woman's sake. Improving for the woman's pleasure is cool of course, but that's not the only person you should be worried about.
    • krebcycle, on 10/10/2007, -2/+6Next article: How to remain turned on every time you ***** a whore.
      • feedbag, on 10/10/2007, -1/+0Not entirely sure I follow... is that to mean you think varied, uninhibited and adventurous sex is only for whores? I feel bad for you if that's the case... there's way, way more to an excellent sex life than a few strokes of missionary position in the bedroom. And if you think that going there makes the woman a whore, you're really missing out on a lot.
    • Firehed, on 10/10/2007, -5/+1Oh, I don't know... maybe some people enjoy changing things up and having it be a bit exciting, instead of just getting their dick rubbed.
  • MBX1, on 10/10/2007, -9/+6if low voices are indication for high testosterone then why does david beckham sound like mickey mouse?
    • tdhurst, on 10/10/2007, -3/+26Because David Beckham is a huge pussy.
    • fishbert, on 10/10/2007, -0/+10How the hell did David Beckham pop in to your head rather than Mike Tyson for your example?!
  • kermithefrogand, on 10/10/2007, -2/+16this is not better than "five PC gaming myths"
    • jgrommersch, on 10/10/2007, -2/+3Dugg for the mention of the two articles I have open.
  • jeuhrn, on 10/10/2007, -7/+94I don't understand why all these comical sex-guide articles keep appearing on the frontpage, just to get trampled on in the commentfield. This is the duality of digg.
    Seems like the sex guide diggers wants to read says:
    1) Come in her mouth
    2) Stick it in her ass
    3) Have her make you dinner inbetween.

    How come no articles like that make the frontpage?
    • dictum, on 10/10/2007, -6/+106Because you have steps 1 and 2 in the wrong order.
    • ostracize, on 10/10/2007, -1/+23Because digging a sex article implies you are sexually active. It's all a facade.
    • Vegiemaster, on 10/10/2007, -4/+4You forgot "put on wizards robe and hat."
      • Nidy1, on 10/10/2007, -0/+13robe and wizard hat man...
      • AROZ, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2I laughed out loud. I hope no one reports this as offensive.
    • postalblowfish7, on 10/10/2007, -6/+3it's cum, not come.
      • AdamFromMyspace, on 10/10/2007, -1/+7Only if you're on AOL chat..............
      • terminal157, on 10/10/2007, -1/+8Actually, in that context it's "come". The slang "cum" is only used when referring to the semen itself. "I want to come in your mouth." "I want you to taste my cum."
        • hightower77, on 10/10/2007, -1/+8Ladies and Gents, terminal157, or as he will henceforth be known, "The Cum Police"
    • atrain15, on 10/10/2007, -0/+10"I don't understand why all these comical sex-guide articles keep appearing on the frontpage"

      Because it's Wednesday. Conditions are perfect.
    • Ellipsys, on 11/10/2007, -3/+0In a respectful and loving relationship, she'll let ( and even want ) you to do 1 and 2, and may feel like doing 3 now and then. Its not that hard, guys.
  • mozzep, on 10/10/2007, -19/+16the first mistake is trying to please her at all.
    • offwithyourtv, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Yeah, especially if you plan on never having sex with her again.

      What are you, twelve or just dumb?
  • sleepybrains, on 10/10/2007, -7/+11I guess this article is for straight people.
    • directive0, on 10/10/2007, -0/+9Well, were gay men -for whatever reason- trying to seduce a woman, I bet they'd make these mistakes also.
    • gn0stik, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Well, I'm sure the advice would work for gay people too. Gay guys would just have to replace the part about "draw an imaginary circle around her vagina", with (shudder) man parts.
  • Veridien, on 10/10/2007, -1/+57Sounds like I'm one of few women curious enough to read this. Honestly, gents, for those who are interest, pleasing her is good for you because it typically makes her want to reciprocate and please you. It's cyclic and ends well for both sides. Just a thought.
    • Toffeeapple, on 10/10/2007, -4/+17so.. err... do you come here often?


      **joke :)
    • picsectionpleez, on 10/10/2007, -3/+11liar!
    • MagicCake, on 10/10/2007, -0/+9That's actually very true. Once you get her feeling good (oral or whatever) she's more open and likely to do things for you.
      • 0hffs, on 10/10/2007, -6/+1thanks for clarifying that :) Practicing oral on your Mom doesn't count tho MagicCake.
      • adrianmonk, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1In my experience, making a concerted effort to figure out something that REALLY works for her is just about the best thing you can do. If you hit upon something good, it can turn "oh great, sex again, maybe I'll enjoy it this time, but probably not" into "ohmygod, what are all the possible things I could do that might get him interested in doing that again, and which one should I try first?".

        Basically, the best possible outcome is to have something that is working well for both people. Because then both people will be inspired to put a lot of effort into it and see if they can make it work even better.
    • Firehed, on 10/10/2007, -3/+2I was going to put a not-so-witty "omg boobs on digg?! unpossible!" kind of comment, but then remembered that's the reason it's so rare in the first place (and no matter what I type, I'm sure it couldn't even work geographically before even considering anything else).

      So... I typed this, and took three minutes off the lifespan of my keyboard. Hm. Oh, well.
      • Swarms, on 10/10/2007, -1/+0You type very slowly.
      • Swarms, on 10/10/2007, -1/+0You type very slowly.

        *120 seconds to delete repost? Nahhhhhhhh
    • mcduckov, on 10/11/2007, -0/+6The interesting thing is that women aren't experts on what women want and men aren't experts on what men want. Each individual IS an expert on what that individual wants. If you burn away all the chaff what really matters is communication.
    • ubuntuedgy, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1No one cares if the girl enjoys it...

      Just kidding. Honestly, I am just kidding. I agree. If you work on pleasing the girl (honestly just forget about yourself), normally you don't even need to have her reciprocate...you will get off at the same time, before, after, whatever. If she does reciprocate...well, double the fun.
  • JohnnyXmas, on 10/10/2007, -4/+49"Whoops, wrong hole" is not a mistake, its a method.
    • j3one, on 10/10/2007, -9/+2But secks is just one vagina away from being gay...
      • picsectionpleez, on 10/10/2007, -3/+4One day you will get laid, don't worry- there's someone out there for everybody!
      • terminal157, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Men and women both have mouths too, genius.
  • Incognito, on 10/10/2007, -1/+54I read my girlfriend digg comments with my sexy low voice

    Its the deal breaker every time Thx guys
    • yahoofrom, on 10/10/2007, -1/+9are you the Chocolate Rain guy?
      • chrispr, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7Tay Zonday?!
      • Incognito, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1I'm the white Tay Zonday who has already figured out he's a hack when it comes to talent lol

        He's still hanging out in his delusion though
        • terminal157, on 10/10/2007, -1/+3I'd have to disagree. He really does have talent. It might not be a talent that I can watch without laughing, but it's still talent.
          • Incognito, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Go watch him perform Chocolate Rain live and cringe through the "talent"
    • picsectionpleez, on 10/10/2007, -3/+36Baby Im in ur underz doin all kindz of bad stuf, I'm going to do you like Ron Paul baby, that's right in Soviet Russia wrong hole chooses you, I for one welcome our hot box overlord, I have an idea- pics or it didn't happen.......
      • Firehed, on 10/10/2007, -4/+1Hate to tell you, but those Soviet Russia and overlord welcoming are most definitely Slashdot's territory. But if you're going for that geeky foreplay approach, you might as well do it right.
      • wes00mertes, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1You'd also have to have sex in front of a mirror. And then??? Profit.
  • jambox77, on 10/10/2007, -7/+13WOW! great article......for a high school kid. Tell us something we haven't herd 5 million times from the same magazine or any other mens magazine for that matter.
  • liah, on 10/10/2007, -3/+43As one of the female persuasion, that thigh/belly thing is right. Those are the two bits of my body I'm probably most insecure about, so if he gives it positive attention, it makes me feel good about it.
    Also, teasing is always amazing. If you go right to the pleasure zones and never go anywhere else, it gets a bit dull after awhile. Play around a little. Please.

    and @feedbag;
    Men are easy to please. It doesn't take a lot for them to get off. They tend not to care HOW they get off, just that they DO get off. For women, it's considerably harder, and quite a few women can't orgasm at all. Of course, there's exceptions to every rule.
    • ShitStainedBall, on 10/10/2007, -6/+5I got half a stalk right there.
    • elliam, on 10/10/2007, -1/+25I am somewhat put off any time I hear a woman say how easy men are to please. You make it sound trivial, and like it's something that doesn't require any real attention. Just make sure you let the guy your with know you actually give a ***** that he's having fun, and not just assume that he must be because he's allowed to ***** you.
    • terminal157, on 10/10/2007, -0/+5Men absolutely do care how they get off. Just because they'll take what they can get doesn't mean they have no preferences.
    • seithon, on 10/10/2007, -2/+4Wow... uh.. yeah see no.
      I can't imagine a guy having a happy and fulfilling sex-life with you, sorry i just don't see it happening with that attitude.
  • krizzle, on 10/10/2007, -7/+80I'm going to write the version for women, heres a peek:
    Make a mental circle 2 inches around the outside of his Penis, now cover the entire circle with your mouth. Oh that? Don't worry its full of protein. Yes, he will wake up soon.
  • therilesyouknow, on 10/10/2007, -11/+4girl-on-digg alert!
    I like the list, wish my ex would have read it.
    • hansk, on 10/10/2007, -7/+1yea i figured this was written by a chick. This list does not apply to guys who are not looking to impress their ladies (married guys holla!)
    • heartcoldfusion, on 10/10/2007, -3/+18OH MY GOD A GIRL ON THE INTERNET!!! Better alert everyone. We wouldn't want her to miss her opportunity to whore her gender out for attention.
  • ahawks, on 10/10/2007, -3/+12As someone who just this week lost a girl to some other ***** that came along and seduced her, I wish I had known this.... I dont know, a year ago.
    • rochdale, on 10/10/2007, -3/+18Console yourself with the knowledge that no matter what bits you sucked and licked, no matter what you bought her, no matter how creative, generous and beautiful you made her feel, it's highly probable she would still have left you. Most women are fickle fantasists, fed on a media diet of unrealistic expectations and self-loathing. Unfortunately the shape of their bodies and the softness of their skin speaks directly to my penis, otherwise I would definitely be single.
    • krebcycle, on 10/10/2007, -1/+18If you think that reading this article would have saved you, then dude, you had no chance.
    • kiwimachead, on 10/10/2007, -4/+1The best thing to do is try it yourself, its a rush. It gets old quick but still a rush.
    • picsectionpleez, on 10/10/2007, -3/+4Dude you'll be alright- it sucks for a while but just keep in mind (hopefully) you made every part of her yours and marked her with your man goo- so that every time he kisses her it's somewhere you've already been. Just be sure to tell him that and suggest ya'll have a beer after she ***** him over like she did you- but be nice about it. It's even better if you can become friends with him and then you can expose the ***** she tells him. In the mean time ***** her best friend, sister or if you can- mom. You'll feel better in no time.
    • LeeMaple, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1I'll be done with her in a week, you can have her back....
  • SunnySWFL, on 10/10/2007, -9/+2Want to spice it up?
    Call her someone else's name whilst in doggystyle.
  • csrster, on 10/10/2007, -3/+5Ok, I understand that I have to do all this romantic foreplay crap to get her interested but can I listen to my iPod at the same time to stave off boredom waiting for the good bit?
  • luteslinger, on 10/10/2007, -8/+291. Sex is not a race.
    I disagree. How many times have you had her in perfect scoring position, then you waited too long, then something is said and the mood disappears. OR a phone call a doorbell. Also the female gains a sense of power or control the longer she can hold the male off, empowering her with confidence. This is dangerous because once her mind becomes clear, she may realize what she was about to do 20 minutes ago would have been a very bad decision with the wrong guy.

    When you get her ripe-pounce. Otherwise you are at risk of blowing the whole deal.
    • terminal157, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1I've had plenty of girlfriends who were more inclined to worry about the time during the act than I was. I absolutely hate feeling like there's a time limit...
      • bryrb, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2the use of the word "ripe" here pisses me off. a woman isn't a fruit.. it makes it sound like a woman is an object. :/
  • tungsai, on 10/10/2007, -2/+11OK: We need one Wiki, where the results from so-called "Sexperts" are compiled, distilled, and then stupid articles like "TOP 37 WAYS TO.... bla bla bla" are useless because all the info is already compiled, distilled, and in the wiki.
    • krebcycle, on 10/10/2007, -5/+2You will never ever get laid, sorry bud.
    • octopod42, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6Dude, what are you talking about? Sex help wiki? That's a great idea! (if you could keep the morons here from editing it all the time...)
  • floatsum, on 10/10/2007, -1/+37I've been married so long, that even just having the mistakes done to me would be okay. Hold hands?? Really? Please, Im lucky if he uses my name instead of "hey". And what the hell is "foreplay"?
    • krebcycle, on 10/10/2007, -2/+16It's where I wait a month before I get to have sex with my wife again.
    • picsectionpleez, on 10/10/2007, -2/+10Do you like pina colodas and getting wet in the rain?
      • mcduckov, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2She probably also likes cupcakes and ice cream. Maybe he never romances her because she looks like a bulldozer.
  • Carsonauto, on 10/10/2007, -5/+4Um, why is this here?

    You're missing your target audience.
  • tomis, on 10/10/2007, -4/+39(Surprisingly not on the list) #1 - Give her a breathalyzer and drug test to make sure she's of a completely sober mind, check her ID to ensure she's of legal age, verify her age against her original birth certificate and court records, and get it in writing that she consents to sexual intercourse (and how she likes it), you never know what could come up in court later. And even after all that you're still probably not safe.
  • loxias44, on 10/10/2007, -7/+2I love how in the description of the article it says "...will please HER every time..." as if it were to be assumed that ALL men that might make such mistakes (as is indicated by the title), were straight. Come on now! Be a little more open-minded!
    • picsectionpleez, on 10/10/2007, -4/+1no *****. she got pleased enough going to the mall while I mowed the damn lawn. plus I don't want her thinking of any new damn ideas for me to have to please her with. better to just ***** her brains out and go turn on football.
      • Firehed, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4If your woman is getting aroused while going to the mall, she's not going to be with you much longer.
  • londubh, on 10/10/2007, -12/+5I'd heard that ***** her from behind then sticking your finger in her ass then wiping said finger under her nose is a no no.
    • ellecon, on 10/10/2007, -5/+3That sounds like a joke my Dad would make. Dugg. :)
    • picsectionpleez, on 10/10/2007, -3/+7BUT: I've never ever seen a girl who didn't like the taste of her own coochie- and I think that's awesome!!!
  • DrPh0bius, on 10/11/2007, -3/+46You know what I hate about these kind of articles? Its written by ONE woman who is giving HER opinion about what SHE thinks works and/or what turns HER on. Its hardly a consensus on what women like. The best sex advice is to be open and honest with your partner and to pay attention to subtle signals.
    For a good example of how ridiculous this article is, look at Cosmo some time. Read one of their articles on "how to please your man." Apparently ALL men like having their ass fingered... oh, and one said that "men wont ask out of embarrassment, but gently slip you smallest vibrator in his anus and watch the fireworks erupt!" Oh... there would be fireworks alright. Then a woman and a vibrator taking a nasty fall down a flight of stairs.
    • ISIfunded911, on 10/10/2007, -14/+3Are you insecure about your sexuality?
      You sound like unconsciously you are afraid of being gay. Or you want to be gay but are ashamed and act macho style.
      • arjie, on 10/10/2007, -2/+7As if your username wasn't bad enough, you had to go say that. I don't think many guys would "want their ass fingered", but then again, it's not a topic I particularly discuss.
      • DrPh0bius, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Insecure?
        Consider it from a heterosexual perspective. Get intimate (as a man) with a woman, begin having intercourse with her, and then sudddenly pull out and attempt to stick it in her ass. See what she does. Does not liking it make HER gay?
        A guy not wanting something shoved in a his ass doesnt make him insecure, and a guy who does want things shoved in his ass isnt automatically gay.
        Its sounds like maybe YOU have a problem justiyng that you like things in your ass? I dont care to be honest. Peoples sexual desires are their own business...
    • Nidy1, on 10/10/2007, -0/+10Oh man I shouldn't have taken a sip of water before reading those last two sentences. Bravo sir.
    • mymidgetfriend, on 10/10/2007, -0/+5I remember reading a Cosmo article (or similar magazine I can't remember exactly) where they said that the way a woman can stop a man from climaxing is by grasping hold of the testicles and tugging hard "That will be sure to stop his train!" That's absolutely true, but if you do that you won't be able to stop my fist from running headlong into your face.
    • mcduckov, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Actually a "pinch" maneuver done right during oral sex can give you an orgasm that you can't possibly put into words. Yeah, one finger has to go in your ass...so what? You don't really have any "am I really gay???" issues until you're asking your girl to strap on a dildo and rail you.
    • spacebar14, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4Digg needs a way to have favorite comments, in addition to stories.
    • mountaincable, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2The real question is, why are so many of you reading cosmo?
    • yodasama, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1To find out what it is instructing our girlfriends to do to our anuses?
  • Defuser, on 10/10/2007, -7/+16The irony, of course, is that the article assumes that women want to have "headboard rattling sex". The biggest myth most men hold about sex is that every woman is a porn star, and wants fast, violent sex. In reality, almost none of them do.
    • krebcycle, on 10/10/2007, -7/+6ignore this moron
    • TheBrat, on 10/10/2007, -2/+19I think if more women were able to be honest with themselves, they'd admit to wanting "headboard rattling sex." The problem is--they've bought into the whole candlelight, soft focus, slow motion "movie sex" and are convinced it's "supposed" to be that way. Let's be honest, sex is our most base function or act. It wasn't meant to be polite. Beware the woman who reads cheap romance novels, cosmo, and feeds her libido with a steady diet of Julia Roberts movies. She's been socially conditioned to believe sex and romance are synonymous and has bought right into it. My advice, find a woman who's favorite movie sex scene is Jack Nicholson and Jessica Lange's kitchen table scene in The Postman Always Rings Twice.

      Just one woman's opinion...........
    • picsectionpleez, on 10/10/2007, -1/+11My philosophy: The women want the sex more than the men, and the men enjoy holding hands and cuddling more than the women. Sounds so gay I know but I enjoy pillow talk and just hanging out together and she often just wants the sex.
      • octopod42, on 10/10/2007, -0/+10Experience says: damn straight.
      • 0hffs, on 10/10/2007, -5/+3you pussies. might as well buy her a strap on and let her do you.
      • slothlovechunk, on 10/10/2007, -3/+2You're gay?
      • mymidgetfriend, on 10/10/2007, -1/+5My girl could go all night. I, however, need at LEAST a half hour to fully recover.
    • octopod42, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6That might be true... I (female) never got the appeal of the 'hard and fast' style either, and neither have most of my sex partners. Romance is not it either -- for me at least it's all about slow and intense sex, building tension and then finally releasing it. In fact, I had one lover who complained about another woman he'd been with, said they were sexually incompatible because she was into the hard-pounding porn star sex. Well, tastes differ (see TheBrat above). Oh yeah, and that's another thing: "women" are not all the same person, despite what Mens Health tells you. Different strokes (so to speak) for different folks.
      Personally, I'd say the only one of these worth noting is foreplay, but you all knew that already. Even if she initiates. Mentally aroused =/= physically ready. It just takes a few minutes to get the machinery oiled up and into gear, so to speak.
    • shotgunefx, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Actually, the irony is that you think you know what almost all women want any better than Men's Health.

      In my own experience, (which is the only thing I can speak to), women want both. Sometimes in the same go, sometimes not. Slow and steady is great as you get to really focus on the sensations and I don't necessarily mean just the hotspots. People forget how good simple touch can feel, especially when you're really focusing on it.

      There's also something said for just going at it like animals. Being dirty for dirty's sake can be a huge turn on and what you might lose skipping the buildup is more than made up for in the adrenaline fueled senses.

      These types of articles usually bug me, because it's almost always the same article as a 1000 others slightly reworded.

      99% of them could be summed up as...

      Be attentive. Pay attention to how she responds and adjust accordingly.

      Be reassuring. Make her feel comfortable. Don't push it. If your girl is shy, or has hangups about certain things, there's a good chance it has more to do with her being worried about how she'll be perceived then the act itself. ("Will he think I'm dirty", "I look fat from this angle"). Let her know it's ok to tell you those things (and you need to be ok with it). The more secure and comfortable she is, the more open she can be about what she really wants and vice-versa. The more secure she is, the more you can feel out the boundaries (and gently expand them).

      Variety. Vary the routine. Make it a point to mix it up on occasion. If it's always in the bedroom, jump her when she's coming the door from work, or in the car, well, just because it's fun and unexpected (unless you're always in the car LOL).

      And not just variety in the circumstance, but make it a point to do whatever you do different sometimes. Touch her somewhere else, or different. Pay attention to how she reacts, if positive, add it to the repertoire.

      And sex aside, keep routine out of your day to day. Remember to do something nice or special (even if you need to use Google calendar to remind you, she doesn't know that). Take her out, buy her flowers, doesn't have to be big, she just needs to know you still think she's special.

      Find yourself only saying "I love you" before you go to bed, or at the end of a phone call? Just stop sometime in the middle of whatever your doing, look her in the eyes and tell her, slip a note in her bag before she leaves for work.


      So it could really just be summed up as "avoid routine" and "pay attention to your partner".
    • cmuwriter, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2Your sister seemed to want it.
    • linsaui, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1I like romance and I like headboard rattling sex... I don't see why you can't want both, and why men can't wrap their heads around that one.
    • adrianmonk, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0It doesn't have to be sleazy and cheap to be headboard-rattling. It can be meaningful and headboard-rattling at the same time.
  • bib4tuna, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1who cares what she wants?
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