What is Digg?139 Comments
- ro0ke, on 10/12/2007, -4/+104Although I agree with the majority of this list, showing it to your girlfriend is a surefire way to never get laid again. No thanks.
- rokinroj, on 10/12/2007, -4/+75I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -6/+62I'm getting a raging clue
- KillerJ59J, on 10/12/2007, -5/+59ro0ke, I'm sure your hand will still love you even if you _do_ tell her to read the article.
- philovivero, on 10/12/2007, -8/+59I'm nearly convinced this article was actually written by a male posing as a female, but it's amusing tripe nonetheless.
If you're feeling frustrated with women, send it to all your ex-girlfriends and rest content that they'll be angry at you for at least a week. - sockpuppets, on 10/12/2007, -3/+51That's just wong.
- eatbeefjerky, on 10/12/2007, -3/+52I am female and I found that list highly amusing. However, I'd like to counter with a few things.
1) Dirty talk is okay. I don't, however, think it's too much to ask for you (the guy) not to call your girl a slut or a whore if she doesn't like it. You can talk dirty without being totally disrespectful.
2) If you want us to shave down there, I think it's only right that you be willing to do it too, if only to fully understand how irritating the aftermath can be. Ditto for trimming, or waxing.
3) Consent must be given before anything is put into my butt. I'm going to assume the rest of you females will agree with me. Anything short of clear, verbal consent will result in very very dire consequences.
4) In general, don't demand anything you wouldn't be willing to do for her. - eliezerlp, on 10/12/2007, -1/+42oops, just did!
Was reading it on my laptop with her next to me. She doesn't agree with most of it.
She says I shouldn't have see it cause I'll think its true.
As she is still next to me no comment. - Goner, on 10/12/2007, -2/+43You were actually telling her she was doing it wrong right then and there as she was losing her virginity? What a thoughtful lover you are...
And you weren't able to just handle the job -- whether she's flailing around and wailing like Jenna J? I think you watch too much porn and have some misconceptions about how a nervous virgin is supposed to behave in bed.. - crgnetworks, on 10/12/2007, -4/+42We have a mutual understanding then :-)
- fxmcleod, on 10/12/2007, -3/+37nah i'm gunna give it a shot...
i'll let you know how it works out, i mean it good advice - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -6/+36I loved this from the comments section:
Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out over five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended.
The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return.
A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find some husbands.
First floor
The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids."
The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went.
Second floor
The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking."
"Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's further up?"
Third floor
This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework."
"Wow," said the women, "Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they went."
Fourth floor
This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak."
"Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on!"
So up to the fifth floor they went.
Fifth floor
The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are f**king impossible to please. The exit is to your left, we hope you fall down the stairs." - Gravedigger2000, on 10/12/2007, -3/+30Just buy her some kneepads for Christmas and hope she gets the hint.
- sockpuppets, on 10/12/2007, -5/+31Leave my girlfriend out of this.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -3/+27"37. Taking things way too seriously. Sex is funny. Actually it's hilarious. Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a bed, hit their head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat. It's how you deal with it that really matters."
This reminds me of a funny story from a month ago. So my (now ex) girlfriend was on top of me in reverse cowgirl. There was a Lot of pressure on my abdomen, and I had built up a gigantic fart. Well out it came, and with all the pressure from the two of us, it was the loudest, most obnoxious fart EVAR! She fell off me laughing, I was embarrassed beyond words. - Namco, on 10/12/2007, -0/+212 points for a random Wayne's World quote form rokinroj lol.
- ardenr, on 10/12/2007, -6/+25(from the author)
I've gotten a zillion requests and questions about my "50 Mistakes Women Make While Having Sex" Post.
Let's see if I can answer them so you all will leave me alone.
1. Yes, I wrote that. All 50 of them came out of my little head. Thus they belong to me.
2. If you want to reproduce them, that's fine. Leave my name on them and don't you dare edit my content or I will hunt you down myself.
3. I'm well aware that not every guy is against snuggling. I don't think that most of them are. I am aware that most of them have a hard time sleeing when their girlfriend is laying on top of them because they don't want to move and wake them up. I'm not saying don't cuddle, but let the man move.
4. Say what you want about my political beliefs, I was a womens and gender's studies minor in college. I wasn't a major because my school didn't offer one. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it, you worthless hippies. Go shave your legs or something.
5. All marriage proposals must come with expensive jewelry or a hefty donation to my paypal. I'm scraping this month, and you want your woman to be happy, don't you?
Another Amendement:
6. I am not married. I'm not even dating. Single as they get.
Another Amendment:
7. I do not get paid for this. At all. Which is why I have the tiny donation button in the corner. - therippa, on 10/12/2007, -7/+2621. Being too much of a pussy to tell him what is or isn't acceptable before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say no like it's an invitation, don't look surprised when he "accidentally" sticks his ***** in your butt.
Precisely! - fxmcleod, on 10/12/2007, -1/+20ok done, so, actually it worked out great...
this article made me pretty appreciative of what she does right, that i know a lot of girls are terrible about. And she was just happy to be doing most things right... - MackPrime, on 10/12/2007, -1/+20liar.
- bitcloud, on 10/12/2007, -7/+25this reads like it was written by a guy pretending to be a girl...
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -2/+17I hate it when my wife says her boyfriend's name during sex.
How come that didnt make it on the list? - eplawless, on 10/12/2007, -3/+18dugg for creative use of hoo hoo dilly and cha cha
- HP844182, on 10/12/2007, -1/+15Sex is suppose to be fun. If it isn't, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Being able to laugh during sex is a good thing.
- danjanoop, on 10/12/2007, -3/+17This article was written by a woman in response to the previous one about 50 mistakes men make. I think that the main point is that sex is for BOTH people. And that good sex is a result of COMMUNICATION and RESPECT. Relax, have fun, and don't worry so much.
- chimona, on 10/12/2007, -1/+15Yeah but unfortunately, that means that whoever else is going to sleep with them is going to reap the benefits of their ill-begotten knowledge.
- Dested, on 10/12/2007, -3/+14haha Dugg for the South Park reference.
"14. Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you have is that he has now stuck his hoo hoo dilly in your cha cha. That's as far as it goes unless otherwise noted."` - dblyth, on 10/12/2007, -1/+11What, you don't like having no sensation whatsoever in your arm when you wake up?
- gharding, on 10/12/2007, -2/+12I LIKE cuddling :(
5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms.
Although yeah.. there's a limit. Jesus that sucks in the morning. - Wade, on 10/12/2007, -7/+16In case you missed it: http://digg.com/general_sciences/Fifty_Mistakes_Men_Make_When_Having_Sex
Satire, perhaps? - anonydigg, on 10/12/2007, -2/+10"Why'd you get married if she sucks at sex?"
maybe it didn't come with the free trial? - mabhatter, on 10/12/2007, -0/+7actually my wife would agree with most of those on her own... she's pretty cool about that. After 10 years you figure some of that stuff out, or you're really pent up and miserable!
- fxmcleod, on 10/12/2007, -1/+8no details? just offended? that always wins people...
- whiskerlickins, on 10/12/2007, -2/+9Sheesh, first off, nice reply to my comment 20 comments up.
I agree that men and women are both responsible for good sex. That one was obnoxious because it goes against equal communication, so I was mocking how ludicrous it was. I don't expect a guy to get hard with the snap of a finger, and men shouldn't expect women to be ready immediately. Although there's lubes and jellies out on the market, sex is more enjoyable if you can get a woman naturally wet. For you to harp on me about that, it sounds like you have personal issues. :P
"For instance, what's the deal with Cosmo and/or mostly female sex-advice columnist that say you don't have to take the whole penis in your mouth to perform fellatio or that swallowing is a no-no. Or those silly how-to-your-man-on essays... Like tease your man with a feather while he's blindfolded nonsense. But guys are supposed to the supply fervent oral technique to all the errogenous according these sex sources."
Cosmo tips are a joke. I only swallow depending on the guy (sorry, I don't enjoy phlegm in my throat very much and that's what it feels like), but I happen to enjoy deep throating if my man begs for it.
I'll say it again: I agree with pretty much everything on the list. Sheesh. - kacymartin, on 10/12/2007, -1/+7"Don't have sex, it leads to kissing, and pretty soon you'll be talking to her."
- madeingermany, on 10/12/2007, -5/+11If two people having sex talk about what they want and don't want neither of these lists is anything but useless.
- mabhatter, on 10/12/2007, -1/+7you hit your head on a nail! But making lists is more fun!
- dunezone, on 10/12/2007, -11/+16"Cleaning up after sex. Wiping the splooge off is one thing. But changing the sheets immediately so you can get the other ones in the washer and then sanitizing everything your naked body might have possibly passed by is not the way to do it."
This happened to me once, when she left to get new sheets, I took a ***** on the bed, and when she came back I had the biggest grin and two thumbs up. - EbowUK, on 10/12/2007, -7/+11@whiskerlickins
We heard you the first time. But Digg is one of the places we can come and not get nagged at. Hence why you're being buried.
And where's my dinner???
/me runs - marjo9, on 10/12/2007, -1/+6i really hope you are being sarcastic
- wilf_brim, on 10/12/2007, -1/+6Me, too, except is it an ex. Hope you aren't going the same way.
- wtfunkymonkey, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5This, right here, is the only list you ever need. The key to good sex is *respect*.
If you want to have nasty, dirty sex that involves ass poking, name calling, or load choking, without discussing it first, then you need a hooker, not a girlfriend. - mabhatter, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5my wife had most of those figured out from day one...It's just a matter of paying attention. I'd feel really bad for somebody with a lady clueless to MOST of the list. But councilors have to make money from somebody.
- whiskerlickins, on 10/12/2007, -7/+11I agree with most of the items on the list. That one made me laugh though.
- lahar, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5Why'd you get married if she sucks at sex?
- fxmcleod, on 10/12/2007, -2/+6most importantly, thank you...
- EbowUK, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5I'm not sure "drunk and covered in puke on the couch demanding she chow down on your meaty pole" is a recognised position.
- bemenaker, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5If you g/f gets that offended by reading that list, that you don't get laid again, you should seriously be considering a new g/f to begin with.
it's all about communication. - wtfunkymonkey, on 10/12/2007, -3/+7Let's see what happens after you've been in a relationship for a few years. Or lose your virginity for that matter.
- lawndarts, on 10/12/2007, -3/+7I fail to see how i/her could make 50 mistakes when I only know 3 positions.
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