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123 Comments
- blueskydiver76, on 10/12/2007, -6/+163Many of us are stuck in a cube for most of the day. Why not have some fun with your co-workers. They annoy you day in and day out. Here are 101 ways for you to slowly drive them crazy.
1. Leave a stack of old applications and a not saying, “Install these”
2. Staple your reports in the wrong corner
3. Put tape over the mouse optics
4. Unplug a co-worker’s monitor
5. Talk to sick employees while wearing a dust mask
6. Turn your earphones up all the way
7. Burn popcorn in the microwave
8. “Forget” to put your tuna sandwich in the fridge
9. Turn up the beep volume of the copier
10. Empty the paper out of the main printer/copier
11. Empty the ink or toner out of the main printer/copier
12. Practice beat boxing
13. Sing show tunes
14. Hang up the phone before they say, “good bye”
15. Slurp hot coffee during meetings
16. Walk around the office barefooted
17. Empty out a co-workers office on a Friday afternoon
18. Misplace peoples pens
19. Insert a 3.5” disk before they turn on their computer
20. Glue their mouse to the desk
21. Leave an open can of tuna in their desk
22. Make a screenshot of their desktop and use it as their screensaver
23. Turn up the contrast on their monitor
24. Talk in a funny accent
25. Use goofy event sounds for your programs
26. Chant, “Yeay, I got mail!!” every time you get a new email
27. Print out a phony pink slip and leave It in their mailbox
28. Send flowers from one co-worker to another
29. Start your car remotely when someone walk by it
30. Insist on people to have a great morning
31. Leave hole punches all over
32. Leave your lunch garbage in other people’s cans
33. After each sip give a refreshing, “Ahhh”
34. Put salt on someone’s mouse pad
35. Set a password on someone’s screensaver
36. Carry on a conversation with someone two cubes down
37. Smirk when a co-worker walks by
38. Eat half of someone’s lunch
39. Swap co-worker’s chairs
40. Fake stomach flu during a meeting and need to abruptly leave three or four times
41. Stare deeply into your co-workers eyes when they talk to you
42. Take all the ice out of the community freezer
43. Listen to comedy tracks and laugh hysterically
44. Hit all the floor buttons when you leave the elevator
45. Make hissing sounds into the phone and insist you have a bad connection
46. Flip the left and right mouse button defaults
47. Take out the ball in the mouse
48. Eat sunflower seeds
49. Tell a long story without a point
50. Tell a co-worker you liked their hair better last week
51. Anonymously send flowers to a random co-worker
52. Bring Cheetos for food days
53. Drag your feet when you walk down the halls
54. Exclaim your co-worker didn’t wash his hands when leaving the restroom
55. Eat stinky foods when you have lunch at your desk
56. Practice drumming on your desk
57. Use too many paper clips
58. Fill out your time sheets incorrectly
59. Set your mobile phone to an obnoxious ring tone
60. Forward chain letters and other spam to co-workers
61. Express your political views at length
62. Whisper loudly
63. Come to work sick
64. Drink the last cup of coffee without making a new pot
65. Answer your mobile during meetings
66. Stand over someone while they are on the phone
67. Sneak up behind someone
68. Mess with the thermostat
69. Give everyone a pistol wink when they walk by
70. Gradually turn down the volume on someone’s phone
71. Leave unusual print outs on the printer
72. Throw out other people’s prints
73. Juggle office supplies
74. Write all your memos on bright colored paper
75. Be overly nice to people
76. Hide whiteboard erasers
77. Chew gum while talking on the phone
78. Regularly update everyone on the current weather
79. Read your emails aloud
80. Leave the fridge open
81. Shake up cans of pop in the fridge
82. Leave fingerprints on the copier glass
83. Whistle all day long
84. Wear too much cologne/perfume
85. Type loudly
86. Wear bright colored clothes
87. Give everyone a nickname from a TV show
88. Do the sneaky walk around the office
89. Peer over the cube and wait for a co-worker to look up and notice
90. Use the intercom and page yourself
91. Swap the regular and decaf coffee
92. Hide the sugar and creamer
93. Type emails in uppercase and excessive punctuation
94. Refer to your garbage can as your in-box
95. Stick pencils to the ceiling in other people’s offices
96. Throw a bouncy ball in your office
97. Tell the same story over and over
98. Imitate regular sounds like a disc drive opening, door slamming or a mouse click
99. Talk to your monitor as if it was a person
100. Schedule meetings at 4:00pm
101. Talk loudly with your earphones on when someone comes to talk to you
DISCLAIMER: Use these annoyances at your own risk. I take no responsibility for whatever happens to you, your cube, your car or anything else. - Chompy, on 10/12/2007, -3/+99#102: Link to a dead website.
- kurrent, on 10/12/2007, -5/+68talk chinese loudly on your cellphone and eat some soup that stinks like garbage on a daily basis.
oh wait, that's happening to me right now.....i hate the bitch beside me so goddamn much - severedsolace, on 10/12/2007, -1/+37Only dugg because 99% of my coworkers do at least half of these things on any given day.
- listrophy, on 10/12/2007, -1/+35They missed one: once a week, place a nickel in a coworker's telephone handset. Continue for a few months. Then one day, remove all of them.
-jim - greymaxcat, on 10/12/2007, -0/+29Buy a dozen cheep $.99 digital watches at the local 7-11. Set the alarms to go off several times throughout the day. Pop off the top end caps to the cubicle walls and place the watches in the walls around your victim. After about a week they will snap.
- Supernova36, on 10/12/2007, -1/+28Terry Tate would kick your ass..
- Asvetic, on 10/12/2007, -2/+28Hum... this list is unnecessary. Anyone that actually works in a "Cube Community" knows that anything and everything that happens between the hours of 9am and 5pm are annoying.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -2/+25#103: Use the phrase "screensaver" in place of "wallpaper".
I think for #22 they meant "wallpaper". We took a screen shot of the Windows 2000 logon screen, set the desktop icons to hidden, then changed the settings on the CRT so it moved the bottom part of the screen below what was viewable. It drove people crazy cause they "couldn't login". Good times. - senorcool, on 10/12/2007, -2/+25"101 Ways to Avoid Doing Work" would also be an appropriate title.
- Andytom, on 10/12/2007, -4/+26#102: Take Milton's stapler
- iamasmallgoat, on 10/12/2007, -1/+23they should add: "clear your throat at least 4 times every minute"
the f'n ***** that sits behind me does this and I can't stand it. - brstilson, on 10/12/2007, -2/+20102. Drink lots of coffee but never brush your teeth so the terrible stench of stale coffee and tooth decay permeates the air in a 5-foot radius around you.
- gingerchris, on 10/12/2007, -0/+17Did you just censor the word ***** but write out ***** in full?
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -1/+15Way #1, play Boy George, Bay City Rollers , juice newton, onyour radio all day.
Way #2, Eat sardine and tuna sandwiches... Make sure you leave the tuna sitting on your desk for hours and hours! - tehgoatman, on 10/12/2007, -1/+15on some computers ctrl + alt + an arrow key will flip the screen sideways.. we even had IT confused.
- ms202, on 10/12/2007, -0/+13I think I sit next to her on the train.
- prgrmmr736, on 10/12/2007, -0/+13Do you work in my office? I swear there is a person next to me that does that everyday.
- scottix, on 10/12/2007, -3/+16Another one...
1. Hide taskbar
2. Take a screenshot of their desktop
3. Set as background
4. Remove desktop Icons - crashflow, on 10/12/2007, -2/+14"7. Burn popcorn in the microwave"
why not just burn a sponge. - captmorgan555, on 10/12/2007, -0/+12#102 Refer to all emails and instant messages as "PINGS". ie "Hey Cathy, just ping me that info" or "Bob just pinged me about the meeting"
- schlongmeister, on 10/12/2007, -0/+12Or, you could take a co worker's belongings off of their desk and put them inside the break room vending machine.
-Pam - minox, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1347. Take out the ball in the mouse
Hm, that was be preceded by "46. Take a time machine." - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -0/+11#103. Talking on speakerphone all the time.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -1/+12#105 copy the list and send as an office memo
- CaptainEO, on 10/12/2007, -0/+11I'm assuming burnt popcorn?
- DiggsOnlyNeoCon, on 10/12/2007, -1/+12Article filed as Science --> Health. Nice.
- KSUdesigner, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1058. Fill out your time sheets incorrectly
Might want to avoid that one, your paycheck is likely to be incorrect as a result. - lark012, on 10/12/2007, -0/+10I like to change the desktop of my co-worker's computer with a screenshot of the current desktop. Then move all the icons to some other folder, move the taskbar somewhere else, and make menus, highlights and text black so they have a hard time changing it back if they figure it out.
In the end, it looks like the desktop didn't change, but when the co-worker tries to click on an icon that is just the background ... well.. fun ensues. :) - ZachRetox, on 10/12/2007, -1/+11#102: Misspell "note" on the first line.
- kdogg73, on 10/12/2007, -0/+10#102 Rearrange keys on a keyboard
- silverchrysalis, on 10/12/2007, -0/+10i see why!
- Hobofuzz, on 10/12/2007, -0/+10This should be called "101 ways to get fired"
- Shaman760, on 10/12/2007, -0/+10Spend 1.5 hours of on-the-clock time slagging off writing such a list.....
- dardenne, on 07/17/2009, -2/+11put people's stuff in jello.
-jim - jstem1994, on 10/12/2007, -0/+9Or 101 ways to get your ass kicked.
- bmerkl, on 10/12/2007, -0/+9also, put the taskbar on the top of the screen most people don't look for a taskbar up there
- shotmenot, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8oh god thats great, im gonna try that at school and see how long it takes them to fix it
- TurtleBeoulve, on 10/12/2007, -2/+10This list made me realize that I am the most annoying person to work with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
- youngandwise, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8"98. Imitate regular sounds like a disc drive opening, door slamming or a mouse click"
Definately the funniest one... Made me lol irl - Burento, on 10/12/2007, -2/+9What does a burnt sponge smell like?
- ookamikun, on 10/12/2007, -0/+7being in a good mood is good for your health.
doing those things to your co-workers puts you in a good mood. - liuite, on 10/12/2007, -2/+8whine
but seriously...my wife rearranged the desk of someone with compulsive disorder and almost got fired. she made that person break down in tears. - theprototype, on 10/12/2007, -0/+6I'm doing that this week!
- raptordrew, on 10/12/2007, -2/+8Hmm, this article in itself is annoying to me - it doesn't come up!
- ookamikun, on 10/12/2007, -0/+6Wild Eyes contact lenses
- ArmandoM, on 10/12/2007, -0/+6You need to drink another!
- akatherder, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5Raising or lowering someone's chair every time they get up is all in good fun.
- sikosmurf, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5Wow... This is my last week at work. I am totally doing this.
- daschupa, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5Here's my top 10. Trust me, they work, I should know, my coworkers do them every day!
1. Cook fish in the staff kitchen.
2. Approach someone while they are on the phone, dance impatiently, then begin your conversation while they are on the other line. If that doesn't work, mime your conversation.
3. Call an extension once and hang up quickly (before the second ring).
4. jam the copier, walk away. Also, Jam the ice machine (and keep a holdin the button) and when someone opens fridge the door, let them enjoy showers of crushed ice.
5. Creep behind someone, come as close to their head as possible, stare at their screen and suddenly comment on it loudly.
6. Constantly want to shake or hug or touch other employees even though you just saw them 1 minute ago.
7. Lock all doors as you go through them.
8. Ask the same stupid computer questions repeatedly (how do I turn off my monitor, how do I install fonts, etc...)
9. Don't flush toilets.
10. Never stop talking. Ever. -
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