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297 Comments
- XPpro, on 10/31/2009, -5/+554Phase 4: Retirement
You install Linux on it and it spends the rest of its life serving files from a dark closet. - yocouchdigga, on 10/30/2009, -16/+553Dugg for: "Steve Jobs is a cockwaffle in a turtleneck."
- zKman, on 10/31/2009, -2/+325"Linus Torvalds is a hooker"
Can't really be considered a prostitute if you're giving it away for free. Should read "Linus Torvalds is a slut" - bobtheunholy, on 10/31/2009, -3/+247Phase 3
-Remove the CPU heat sync and rinse it off in water until there is no dust left on it.
-Dry with a hair dryer
-Clean the fan with some alcohol and cue tips
-Vac out the inside of the case and wipe the whole thing down.
-Clean off the old thermal paste with alcohol and cotton
-Apply a drop of arctic silver about the size of 2 pieces of long grain rice to the center of the CPU
-Put the heat sync back on
-Put some pantyhose over all the fan intakes and uncovered openings so you can wait longer between cleanings
-reformat and re purpose the computer or give to a family member who has less demanding needs and build a new system - ferret15, on 10/31/2009, -2/+232Phase 3.5: You reinstall starcraft and diablo 2 b/c those are the only games that run smoothly on your computer... and then you wonder why you ever spent time playing other games in the past decade
- iPlunder, on 10/30/2009, -4/+165I entered phase one when I could finally play half life 2 lag free. 5 months ago... I'm in phase 3. ***** being poor.
- Tyrand, on 10/30/2009, -15/+160So true.
- johnchr, on 10/31/2009, -6/+147If you can buy it, it's already obsolete!
- Kaegro, on 10/31/2009, -2/+138Linus is giving his OS for free so he needs to do something to pay the bills. amiright.
- ferret15, on 10/31/2009, -2/+119...and yes, its been a decade, starcraft came out in 1998 and diablo 2 in 2000... *shudders*
- c0ncept, on 10/31/2009, -8/+120Your desktop: It looks like someone vomited up every PDF, zip file, and JPEG on the Internet.
This is too close to home. - oderdigg, on 10/31/2009, -0/+91I don't make love with my testicles. Not sure about anyone else.
- areber04, on 10/31/2009, -2/+77My desktop has 1 icon on it: the recycle bin. Anything else gets moved/deleted within a week. I can't stand my Dad's work laptop, it's got like 50+ word/excel documents all stored to the desktop. I don't know how he finds anything.
- Prodigy1990, on 10/31/2009, -2/+63instant phase 3
spend a lot of money on a really nice gaming computer only to realize it still cant run Crysis on full enthusiast. - tek69, on 10/31/2009, -2/+62try not living in your moms basement and say that.
- krisrm, on 10/31/2009, -0/+52Stop judging me!!
- Fluffycheese, on 10/31/2009, -5/+56Dugg for: "If only your testicles were made of USB, you'd make love to your computer every night."
- psolms, on 10/30/2009, -7/+54currently have 1 in phase 2 and 1 in phase 3... but i remember the honeymoon (so long ago...) :(
- c0ncept, on 10/31/2009, -1/+48Well basically what I do is save any and all interesting images, etc. that I find throughout the course of maybe a week. Then when I find time, I sort them out into their respective folders. If I don't have time or I'm just feeling lazy, I have one folder on my desktop that's just called "Desktop *****." I just throw everything in there and deal with it later.
- ricerfuel, on 10/31/2009, -0/+46at least its gridded
- inactive, on 10/31/2009, -3/+47The part that hurts most is how the three phases only take about 6 months.
- somecallmedave, on 10/31/2009, -3/+46dug for 7 reasons to keep your tyranosaurus off cocaine link
- areber04, on 10/31/2009, -0/+38Every time I buy a new game and beat it I end up going back to playing Starcraft. I'd play Diablo II but I lost my LOD CD-Key :-(
- Dotcommer, on 10/31/2009, -0/+36damn... so long ago...
it was a different time then.. *nostalgic sigh* - MrSparkle666, on 10/31/2009, -3/+39Bill gates never got a programming degree.
- TehProphet, on 10/31/2009, -0/+32yeah. I remember when I was happy my computer ran half life 2 smoothly. an Athlon 64 3500+ and 6600gt just doesn't cut it these days :/
- areber04, on 10/31/2009, -0/+30100% acetone ftw
- Genma, on 10/31/2009, -0/+29the best thing about knowing how to work with hardware is never letting any of your bff's reach phase 3, the rest you can keep on life support in their old age serving data for eternity.
"Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose in society." - iwashere2, on 10/31/2009, -6/+35"Why are they obsolete as soon as they're bought?" Answer: Because you suck. That's why.
- miketachi, on 10/31/2009, -8/+36Phase 4 : Profit
- Cornfuse, on 10/31/2009, -1/+29Uh... I'm just going to leave this here...
http://i38.tinypic.com/2r5zxn8.jpg - fuzzynyanko, on 10/31/2009, -1/+25I could never get the "grain of rice" part of Arctic Silver down. I always have to add more to get decent coverage.
On another note, I love Arctic Silver not because of an improvement of temperature, but that it comes in a nice syringe and can use it 7-10 times. - Contren, on 10/31/2009, -1/+25Hell, most people could just reinstall Windows and accomplish the same thing. Generally phase 3 is software issues not hardware.
- Torbar203, on 10/31/2009, -6/+30My Dell Mini 10v is in phase 1, My Macbook is in phase 2. Unfortunately my Athlon 64 4400+x2 desktop skipped immediately from phase 1 to phase 3
- iVisionX01, on 10/31/2009, -1/+25You can suck my cockwaffle.
- waydee, on 10/31/2009, -1/+24Doubt it uses DDR2 if he's only got 512mb installed.
DDR and SDR ram isn't so cheap. - linagee, on 10/31/2009, -2/+24Give me 5 minutes alone with your computer and I'll get around that fingerprint scanner.
- Redzin, on 10/31/2009, -2/+23That would be part 5. Part 4 is ???.
- Charlie1er, on 10/31/2009, -4/+24The Wii cycle :
Phase 1 :
-The shiny white little thing seems f-ing great near your monstrous PS3 (but nowhere near your 360, that one is now traveling to microsoft cause of your 4th rrod)
-Wii sport is sooo cool! You and your 2 friends just discovered the 99 pin bowling!
-That party yesterday was nice!
Phase 2 :
-You lose interest with Mii in about 5 days, and you seek an other great game.
-Mario galaxy was ok, mario kart was fun for half an hour, and it makes you remember your old N64.
-You restarted your ps3 and rediscovered how great that console was!
Phase 3 :
-The white thing is collecting dust near your tv.
-You unpluged it to make room for your satellite receptor.
-You bough that balance thing for your gf last summer for her birthday. She still playing it every 2 months or so...
-You're telling every one around you to stay the hell out of it! That console was greatest scam of all time! - mikoss, on 10/31/2009, -0/+20whats with the blurred out one near the bottom left?
- sabach, on 10/31/2009, -0/+19I read "ableto" 5 times thinking "That must be Portuguese or something".
- cor315, on 10/31/2009, -2/+21I bought the logitech z-5500 speakers about 4 years ago and they're still top of the line.
That makes me happy. - palehorse864, on 10/31/2009, -0/+19On the exact same machine.
- kalvinb, on 10/31/2009, -1/+20I have an old PIII 533Mhz running Ubuntu as a memcached server. I have an older Sempron running Windows 2003 as an IIS server and a Dual Core Intel system running Windows XP with Apache acting as a web server and reverse proxy to the IIS machine.
Phase 5: Giving it to charity
After you've amassed a small server farm of obsolete systems eventually you realize that a nice shiny quad-core system would replace all of them with a bit of virtualization You buy a brand new system taking you back to #1 and hold a memorial service for your old friends that have gone to a better place. - jsauter, on 10/31/2009, -0/+18Slow sectors? You should deconfuscate your parity shifters and flush the phase transducer.
- TheInimitable, on 10/31/2009, -0/+17There is so much pain in these comments... My desktop is 5 years old, and I hope everybody who shares my pain a quick recovery. :(
- Speed, on 10/31/2009, -0/+17To be fair: if Genghis Khan got a programming degree, developed Aspergers and lost all upper-body strength he very well could be like Bill Gates.
- jsauter, on 10/31/2009, -0/+15Balls deep sir, balls deep.
- Hiwnes, on 10/31/2009, -3/+18Old hardware is disturbingly fun to re-purpose. Load up a light weight Linux distro and customize the crap out of it for speeeeed.
- scy1192, on 10/31/2009, -2/+16phase one of what, your bankruptcy?
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